Is it normal or it's just me....

[William33 110]

A curious topic indeed.

Let's split the combined K-1/K-3 Immigration road for a moment, those that lived with their SO, then returned to the US to begin the process > and those that met in another way, had a few in person meetings; and await the process.

Does anyone believe that the ones that lived together for a number of years, have more difficulty, than those that never lived together?

I do.

Thoughts?

Upon further reading, I made a mistake in my statement. I meant that those who have not already lived together, may have more difficulty in adjusting.

[Dan J 277]

True... true

[rebeccajo 14]

Dan, your suitcase-whacking cartoon in your siggy really freaks me out.

It's causing me sleep deprivation and loss of appetite....

Any chance you could ditch it?

[Alex+R 0]

Dan, your suitcase-whacking cartoon in your siggy really freaks me out.

It's causing me sleep deprivation and loss of appetite....

Any chance you could ditch it?

I second that. Of course, it reminds me of a certain smiley that shall not be named

[Fandango 1,440]

A curious topic indeed.

Let's split the combined K-1/K-3 Immigration road for a moment, those that lived with their SO, then returned to the US to begin the process > and those that met in another way, had a few in person meetings; and await the process.

Does anyone believe that the ones that lived together for a number of years, have more difficulty, than those that never lived together?

I do.

Thoughts?

Upon further reading, I made a mistake in my statement. I meant that those who have not already lived together, may have more difficulty in adjusting.

I disagree...I think those who have lived together face more obstacles. But then again it's all subjective.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=57329 <----this has been talked about already

but after getting together, the never-lived togethers will face more obstacles imo

Edited March 12, 2007 by LisaD

[Alex+R 0]

A curious topic indeed.

Let's split the combined K-1/K-3 Immigration road for a moment, those that lived with their SO, then returned to the US to begin the process > and those that met in another way, had a few in person meetings; and await the process.

Does anyone believe that the ones that lived together for a number of years, have more difficulty, than those that never lived together?

I do.

Thoughts?

Upon further reading, I made a mistake in my statement. I meant that those who have not already lived together, may have more difficulty in adjusting.

I disagree...I think those who have lived together face more obstacles. But then again it's all subjective.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=57329 <----this has been talked about already

but after getting together, the never-lived togethers will face more obstacles imo

well put

[Fandango 1,440]

well put

ty...I had put a c&p of my post from the other thread in here, then I thought ** it, the link will suffice

obviously I have a very strong take on the matter!

[Dan J 277]

Dan, your suitcase-whacking cartoon in your siggy really freaks me out.

It's causing me sleep deprivation and loss of appetite....

Any chance you could ditch it?

I second that. Of course, it reminds me of a certain smiley that shall not be named

Done

[William33 110]

A curious topic indeed.

Let's split the combined K-1/K-3 Immigration road for a moment, those that lived with their SO, then returned to the US to begin the process > and those that met in another way, had a few in person meetings; and await the process.

Does anyone believe that the ones that lived together for a number of years, have more difficulty, than those that never lived together?

I do.

Thoughts?

Upon further reading, I made a mistake in my statement. I meant that those who have not already lived together, may have more difficulty in adjusting.

I disagree...I think those who have lived together face more obstacles. But then again it's all subjective.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=57329 <----this has been talked about already

but after getting together, the never-lived togethers will face more obstacles imo

Um Lisa, you appear to be contradicting yourself here. Can you clarify? From context, were you saying that the " already lived togethers" have more obstacles?

[Fandango 1,440]

A curious topic indeed.

Let's split the combined K-1/K-3 Immigration road for a moment, those that lived with their SO, then returned to the US to begin the process > and those that met in another way, had a few in person meetings; and await the process.

Does anyone believe that the ones that lived together for a number of years, have more difficulty, than those that never lived together?

I do.

Thoughts?

Upon further reading, I made a mistake in my statement. I meant that those who have not already lived together, may have more difficulty in adjusting.

I disagree...I think those who have lived together face more obstacles. But then again it's all subjective.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=57329 <----this has been talked about already

but after getting together, the never-lived togethers will face more obstacles imo

Um Lisa, you appear to be contradicting yourself here. Can you clarify? From context, were you saying that the " already lived togethers" have more obstacles?

No, William...it's quite easy....the lived-togethers imo have a harder separation. I speak of this cos I've had both kinds of separations with D and after living together, IMO it's beyond measurable how much harder it is. I've gone into detail in that other thread on how it affects me & D more now than before.

The non-lived togethers who have only had a handful of 1 to 2 week meets, will IMO have a harder adjustment after marriage...logically they will have it harder adjusting to cohabitation, cos not only are they learning how to adjust to YAY! WE'RE MARRIED!...they're in each other's prescence 24/7 & have pre-conceived notions of what the other is like...which may or may not fit what actually is. Add to that all the stress of the non USC leaving everything to come to a foreign home, different customs, etc...AND THEN all the USCIS stress....

Those who've come on the VWP and stayed 3 mos? I would put them more in the 'lived togethers' than the nons. They have a good idea what living with their partner is all about.

The lived-togethers, after reuniting, will just go back into their own groove...they already know all of their partner's idosyncrasies and whatnot. But more to the point: they will not have the added stress of the get-to-really-know-you-cos-omG-you're-never-gonna-leave period. I think with the lived togethers, having a secure familiarity of living with their partner will be a strength which will soothe them, at least marginally, through what's probably the most difficult adjustment of their lives. Everything else is different, but the household 'groove' is old and familiar. I also think it's beneficial that the USC live in the partner's country, because then the USC is really familiar with their home, and can reminisce with the foreign spouse....which I also think is a huge comfort.

I base all this opinion on my own experience...no matter how many times D talked about England, I was not prepared for just how different every single thing was when I finally got there. I also think the beginning of living together can be an awkward time...I had some issues adjusting, and my move wasn't even permanent! The added pressure of 'til death you do part' was not an issue either, cos we decided we weren't gonna go there immediately...it was too heavy a concept for me, lol.....And there were none of these immigration issues between us either. I couldn't imagine having to go thru learning what he's really like, getting used to being married AND all the AOS stuff at the same time. I'd go insane, lol

Edited March 12, 2007 by LisaD

[William33 110]

A curious topic indeed.

Let's split the combined K-1/K-3 Immigration road for a moment, those that lived with their SO, then returned to the US to begin the process > and those that met in another way, had a few in person meetings; and await the process.

Does anyone believe that the ones that lived together for a number of years, have more difficulty, than those that never lived together?

I do.

Thoughts?

Upon further reading, I made a mistake in my statement. I meant that those who have not already lived together, may have more difficulty in adjusting.

I disagree...I think those who have lived together face more obstacles. But then again it's all subjective.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=57329 <----this has been talked about already

but after getting together, the never-lived togethers will face more obstacles imo

Um Lisa, you appear to be contradicting yourself here. Can you clarify? From context, were you saying that the " already lived togethers" have more obstacles?

No, William...it's quite easy....the lived-togethers imo have a harder separation. I speak of this cos I've had both kinds of separations with D and after living together, IMO it's beyond measurable how much harder it is. I've gone into detail in that other thread on how it affects me & D more now than before.

The non-lived togethers who have only had a handful of 1 to 2 week meets, will IMO have a harder adjustment after marriage...logically they will have it harder adjusting to cohabitation, cos not only are they learning how to adjust to YAY! WE'RE MARRIED!...they're in each other's prescence 24/7 & have pre-conceived notions of what the other is like...which may or may not fit what actually is. Add to that all the stress of the non USC leaving everything to come to a foreign home, different customs, etc...AND THEN all the USCIS stress....

Those who've come on the VWP and stayed 3 mos? I would put them more in the 'lived togethers' than the nons. They have a good idea what living with their partner is all about.

The lived-togethers, after reuniting, will just go back into their own groove...they already know all of their partner's idosyncrasies and whatnot. But more to the point: they will not have the added stress of the get-to-really-know-you-cos-omG-you're-never-gonna-leave period. I think with the lived togethers, having a secure familiarity of living with their partner will be a strength which will soothe them, at least marginally, through what's probably the most difficult adjustment of their lives. Everything else is different, but the household 'groove' is old and familiar. I also think it's beneficial that the USC live in the partner's country, because then the USC is really familiar with their home, and can reminisce with the foreign spouse....which I also think is a huge comfort.

I base all this opinion on my own experience...no matter how many times D talked about England, I was not prepared for just how different every single thing was when I finally got there. I also think the beginning of living together can be an awkward time...I had some issues adjusting, and my move wasn't even permanent! The added pressure of 'til death you do part' was not an issue either, cos we decided we weren't gonna go there immediately...it was too heavy a concept for me, lol.....And there were none of these immigration issues between us either. I couldn't imagine having to go thru learning what he's really like, getting used to being married AND all the AOS stuff at the same time. I'd go insane, lol

Wow, you really put considerable analysis into this topic. I agree with you. My wife and I lived together for over 4 years, yet were separated for almost a year, due to the Immigration process. When she finally arrived here, we clicked as usual. We had the advantage of having lived in a third country, foreign to both of us and adjusted accordingly. This made her adjustment to the USA nearly seamless.

For those who have not had this type of acclimation, will face obstacles that the afformentioned do not.

[Marilyn. 340]

well, I just wanted to give my point of view on the matter...

My hubby and I never lived together and the most we time we were together was about a week.... but we did see each other about every other month or so for about 2 years....

the separation periods were so hard... it didn't matter that we had never lived together before.... I missed him so much.... his kisses and his hugs, snuggling in bed etc.... even though we were only together for a couple of days at a time, I got used to him being there and when he was gone it was sooo hard....

When I finally moved here we didn't really have an adjustment period, it was like we never had been apart... I knew all about him already....

I think it is kind of unfair to say you have a harder time, when you haven't been in someone else's shoes and don't really know what they have gone through.....

[Fandango 1,440]

I think it is kind of unfair to say you have a harder time, when you haven't been in someone else's shoes and don't really know what they have gone through.....

I've done both, so I was in your shoes. To me, it was much harder after we had lived together.

Congrats on the easy adjustment, btw...that is wonderful

[rebeccajo 14]

Dan, your suitcase-whacking cartoon in your siggy really freaks me out.

It's causing me sleep deprivation and loss of appetite....

Any chance you could ditch it?

I second that. Of course, it reminds me of a certain smiley that shall not be named

Done

Oh Thank You!!

[seldi 1]

Just curious,

Does anyone experience sleep deprivation thing and lack of appetite during this visa process. It's just I'm starting to have those troubles. I hope it's a normal thing to have. I can't sleep yet so I post this topic

I wish I experienced lack of appetite...for anything. Typing this made me hungry