Tom Brady Deflate-Gate: Federal Judge Throws Out NFL Star's Suspension

[TBoneTX 46,271]

Calculus is what the dental hygienist scrapes off one's teeth.

Algebra is the national language of Algeria.

Five out of four people are bad at math, and we're at least one of them.

---

A mathematician, a biologist, and a physicist are sitting in a street cafe, watching people going into and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.

First, they see 2 people going into the house. After a while, they notice 3 people coming out of the house.

The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate."

The biologist says, "They have reproduced."

The mathematician says, "If now exactly one person enters the house, it will be empty again."

Edited September 7, 2015 by TBoneTX

[Teddy B 17,252]

Not a hater...labellers gonna label.. But he knew what was going on, knew it was outside of the rules and hid the evidence. Maybe not 4 game suspension material but not sportsman of the year

See, this is where people go off the rails. "He knew what was going on". He did? Cause the NFL doesn't even know what was going on, there's absolutely no proof that any rules were broken. Like I said, if you read the facts, there is no way for a logical person to reach the "he knew what was going on" conclusion.

Today is gameday!!

[Jacque67 7,328]

See, this is where people go off the rails. "He knew what was going on". He did? Cause the NFL doesn't even know what was going on, there's absolutely no proof that any rules were broken. Like I said, if you read the facts, there is no way for a logical person to reach the "he knew what was going on" conclusion.

Today is gameday!!

SO why did he get rid of his phone? Of course he knew what was going on. However money talks...I

[Teddy B 17,252]

SO why did he get rid of his phone? Of course he knew what was going on. However money talks...I

Nobody knows for sure but Tom, but the NFL was able to get all of the text messages they wanted off of the other guys phones. No text messages have been "hidden" from the NFL. Again, this is in the Wells report, along with a statement by Ted Wells saying that Tom Brady was cooperative with the NFL during the investigation.

There is some speculation that Tom destroyed his phone because there may have been some things on there that he didn't want the public or his wife to see. Totally speculation though.

This whole thing has been a witch hunt from the start and if you only read the headlines that the NFL is supplying to sources like ESPN, then you will think that this was the greatest cheating scandal since the Chicago Black Sox.

Edited September 10, 2015 by Teddy B

[Teddy B 17,252]

This is one of the better articles I've read on the Deflate-Gate silliness and puts it into perspective quite well.

Deflategate, Brady, Turtle, Rabbit, Juice Box It’s time to treat seven months of prolonged nonsense with the proper level of absurdity it deserves.

By

Jason Gay

Updated Sept. 3, 2015 9:38 p.m. ET

If we’re going to continue to yap on and on about Deflategate—this is my 37,439th column on the subject since January, if you haven’t read my prior 37,438 Deflategate columns, I’ll wait right here for you to catch up, hurry!—it’s essential that we set a proper mood.

First, I think you can have a cocktail. A couple of cocktails. (It’s not even Labor Day, and you’re not out of rum.) I think you can wear a big red clown wig. One of those 99-cent squeaky noses. An animal costume, or just the animal mask, if you can’t swing for the whole costume. A fake arrow through your head, like Steve Martin in his Steve Martin prime. Pants can be optional. A fake pirate eyepatch would be great. Do you have turtles and rabbits in your neighborhood? Invite them over. Serve them juice boxes (don’t give turtles and rabbits cocktails; they tend to make a scene.) If you own a talking parrot, bring in the talking parrot. Teach the talking parrot to sing some Billy Joel songs. Some Donny & Marie. The theme from ESPN “SportsCenter.”

There it is: the correct atmosphere to talk about Deflategate, the finest inane-a-thon North American football has ever produced.

I’m not trying to be disrespectful. OK that’s not true: Maybe I’m a little disrespectful. But after seven months of watching the alleged mild deflation of footballs used in the first half of an uncontested blowout treated by the NFL as a primal threat to its weirdsville, sui generis sense of integrity, I don’t think I can bear any more seriousness on the topic.

I’m tired of hearing people breathlessly yowl about Deflategate sounding like 12-year-old campers who think they saw a headless ghost in the bunkhouse. When I see a sober panel discussion on the NFL’s options or Tom Brady’s legacy, I want to march through with giraffes on their tiptoes, playing kazoos and cymbals.

I want to treat this prolonged nonsense with the proper level of absurdity it deserves. I want clown noses and singing parrots. I want turtles and rabbits drinking juice boxes.

On Thursday morning U.S. District Judge Richard Berman— playing on an allegedly home field court the league maneuvered to get—nixed the league decision to suspend Tom Brady, quarterback of the Super Bowl champion New England Patriots, for four games for being “generally aware” of funny business with footballs during the AFC title game last winter.

Surprise, surprise: It turns out declaring someone “generally aware” of alleged rule-breaking is not a compelling standard to sanction an employee for a quarter of the regular season. “Generally aware,” it seems, is only the standard for knowing the names of all your cousins at a wedding.

Judge Berman’s objections to Deflategate were not exculpatory but procedural—he concluded the NFL had given Brady no notice of a possible four-game suspension for his “general awareness,” or his non-cooperation; he took issue with the allegations against Brady being compared with using performance-enhancing drugs; He didn’t like the league denying Brady an opportunity to examine league investigator Jeff Pash and receive equal access to the files of the league-hired firm that did the Deflategate inquiry. He also seemed iffy about on the whole “independent” investigation thing the league likes to tout.

The league said it disagreed and would appeal, of course. Brady is scheduled to start next Thursday night in New England’s season opener versus Pittsburgh. I am not a gambling man, but I predict there will be some very indecorous chants about NFL commissioner Roger Goodell during the pregame celebration. Earmuffs, kids!

To be clear: to ridicule the comical sprawl of this case is not to endorse cheating or take cheating lightly, nor is it a shameless bid to pal around on the weekends with Gisele and Tom. Trust me, my life is plenty glamourous enough. It’s obvious that a substantial portion of the football universe believes the Patriots are capable of skulduggery, having been punished for it before, in Spygate (argh with the -gates; let’s give a Pulitzer to anyone who comes up with a new scandal suffix).

At the same time, perspective is useful. Do you really need a flamethrower to punish someone munching grapes at the salad bar?

If the Patriots were indeed guilty of what the league has suggested, it appears to be, at best, low-level skulduggery—not far from another incident last season in which the Minnesota Vikings were caught lightly sautéing footballs in rosemary and olive oil on the sidelines of a freezing cold game, and were given a big fat...warning. Had New England been warned, I doubt very much Bob Kraft would have even unbuttoned one button on his white-collared shirt.

But instead the NFL let the case grow into a raging wildebeest of moral outrage, in which the league expertly—or, perhaps, not-so-expertly—seized upon a general Patriots skepticism and produced an image of Brady as a scheming co-mastermind...or, if you didn’t believe that, a slippery obstructionist....and if you didn’t believe that, he destroyed his phone...which the league didn’t tell him he could be sanctioned for, but never mind...he broke his phone, man. Commissioner Goodell rendered four-game judgment and then pulled a double shift, hearing the appeal and affirming his own call.

Did the NFL have reason to be suspicious? Sure, but perspective—and proportionality—fled the building. Deflategate became a textbook case of unchecked power and ego, whipped up into a big 1,200-calorie hubris smoothie.

It’s quite possible you don’t care two hoots about Brady, you despise the Patriots, and hope they go 0-16 (though they play the Jets twice, so fat chance). But what’s useful about Berman’s ruling is how it cuts through the bizarre parallel universe football has created for itself. Nobody needs to be reminded of the NFL’s might—its unrivaled influence as an entertainment property and cultural phenomenon and a modern American ritual. That power has allowed the NFL to shape and control many uncomfortable narratives, chief among them the continuing worry over head injuries and long-term player health. Football is not up for being challenged and not getting its way. But lately it’s been losing a lot of dramas like this one.

The NFL owns a copyright on stubborn, however, so I doubt this is fare-thee-well to Deflategate. We will be back in the madness soon enough. If you want to laugh, laugh it up, but hang on to your wigs and your clown noses, and do not let the turtles and rabbits drink all of the juice boxes. Once more: keep them out of the booze, it’s a long season, and we’re probably going to need it.

http://www.wsj.com/articles/deflategate-brady-turtle-rabbit-juice-box-1441323447

Edited September 10, 2015 by Teddy B