Spouse threatens divorce if I don't sign I-864a!

[Kelvavik 1]

If I had a spouse who threated to divorce me if I didn't go along with this, I would go ahead and file for divorce myself, right away.

Obviously you were being used, and still being used just for the purpose of getting foreigners into the USA.

She's pretty far along in the process of this paperwork and I think that she all along just assumed I would sign it - but she never asked me about it until one to two days before it was needed. As soon as I said I needed to research it and see what was involved and/or what the consequences were - without giving a clear yes/no - she started with the threats.

[Darnell 8,478]

That's interesting. I suppose such a co-sponsor wouldn't sign an I-864a, but a different form - as the instructions for I-864a clearly say it must be a household member. What is the other form such a co-sponsor would sign?

an I-864.

In this particular casefile, it will be:

1. I-864 signed by your wife

2. I-864 signed by other human

so that's TWO I-864s. I mentioned a 2nd I-864, earlier.

but - a sticky point?

I-864A - co-sponsor

I-864 - joint sponsor

not the same label, not the same form.

[Kelvavik 1]

but he'd be signing the I-864-A, instead.

I think it's a cultural issue, to threaten divorce. Did she easily threaten divorce, or was it brought up in a 9 day conversation on day 7 ?

let's think more about boundaries based on status, aye?

if the wife is still a LPR, then it's 2 to 5 years for her parents to wait on an available visa number. 10 to 22 years for unmarried brother or sister.

if the wife is now a USCitizen, then it's immediate category for parents. 5 to 17 years for unmarried brother or sister.

So, where in this 'visa' process is the OP/wife and foreign relative? If just filing the I-130, then who cares? The signing will come much later. If the casefile is at NVC, priority date is current, and AOS fee paid, then it's time to turn in the I-864, and it's an immediate problem to resolve.

Next step is to submit the I-864. My wife is a US Citizen.

What you're saying about the chances of them coming after me being slim has merit. But paramount to that is the fact she threatens to divorce me if I don't sign the I-864a.

[Darnell 8,478]

isn't this her pattern, though? she makes threats when she not gets what she wants? I lived through that, also.

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

I am hesitating in suggesting you don't sign because it is the MOTHER-IN-LAW, it doesn't matter whether she threatened you or not.

Not doing it for her mum will definitely strain your relationship.

Darnell, has listed some options for you.

I would personally suggest a joint sponsor I-864

Joint Sponsor

A joint sponsor is someone who is willing to accept legal responsibility for supporting your family member with you. A joint sponsor must meet all the same requirements as you, except the joint sponsor does not need to be related to the immigrant. The joint sponsor (or the joint sponsor and his or her household) must reach the 125% income requirement alone. You cannot combine your income with that of a joint sponsor to meet the income requirement.

http://www.uscis.gov/green-card/green-card-processes-and-procedures/affidavit-support

But like some replies, you have to find a way to deal with those threats. If she gets her way all the time through threats, that sets precedents for more threats.

Let your no be and your yes be yes but be less rigid when it comes to close family.

Good luck!

[David & Diana R 1,005]

My spouse is trying to get one of her relatives to the US on an immigrant visa. As my spouse doesn't meet the minimum requirements for the I-864, she is insisting that I sign an I-864a, as my income would be sufficient as a co-sponsor. It's my understanding if I sign an I-864a, my obligation towards my spouse's relative doesn't terminate until one of the following happens:

• becomes a U.S. citizen
• has worked, or can be credited with working, 40 quarters as defined by Social Security (about ten years)
• loses or gives up permanent residence and leaves the United States
• is granted, in a removal proceeding, adjustment of status as relief from removal, or
• dies.

It's also my understanding that a co-sponsor's obligations under an I-864a would continue on in the event of a divorce between sponsor and co-sponsor or the death of the spouse. As my spouse is merely mentioning the d-word, it wouldn't make sense for me to be a co-sponsor if my obligations continue on after divorce.

Anyone have any thoughts?

RUN, RUN like the wind!!!

[ExPatty 502]

Anyone have any thoughts?

If your spouse really said this, show them the door. It's an unacceptable ultimatum and speaks volumes about your relationship.

Trying to leverage your child also, she cannot be trusted. Start documenting everything you can about things she says about your relationship, as you may need them in court to secure access to your kid and defense yourself legally when the time comes.

Edited August 24, 2015 by ExPatty

[kamw 93]

The fact that you are even considering signing this is ludicrous.

You are worried about the government forcing you to support her but what happens if mom comes over and doesn't want to work? Are you ok with supporting her forever? Because if ever you decide not to support her, your wife would be threatening divorce again. You guys sound like you really need to sit down and understand that divorce is serious and not something to be used to get your own way. Not to be judgmental but she sounds manipulative and it's bound to cause issues in the future.

[Shauna&Wael 211]

She has indicated that she is going to find someone else to sign the I-864a. Perhaps one of her friends (she doesn't have any relatives in the US). But given what it says at http://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/files/form/i-864ainstr.pdf- it appears as if anyone who co-sponsors (or signs the I-864a) need be a household member. And I'm the only one who meets that criteria. This suggests to me that she is bluffing in an attempt to get me to sign the form.

Thanks for your contribution. Can you please elaborate.

I see in this thread even though she's perfectly capable of finding someone else, you're still getting into the logistics of the I-864 and I-864A.

Here's a fun idea, deny with certainty that you're going to sign anything for her family, and see what happens next. It's not going to be pretty, and true colors will be shown. You know what my point was, she used you to immigrate here, and now she's trying to use you to let her family immigrate here.

You sound like a complete pushover, and honestly I think you deserve what's happened to you for letting it happen. And you will deserve what happens next if you continue to move forward. Have fun with your in-laws.

[Kelvavik 1]

I see in this thread even though she's perfectly capable of finding someone else, you're still getting into the logistics of the I-864 and I-864A.

Here's a fun idea, deny with certainty that you're going to sign anything for her family, and see what happens next. It's not going to be pretty, and true colors will be shown. You know what my point was, she used you to immigrate here, and now she's trying to use you to let her family immigrate here.

You sound like a complete pushover, and honestly I think you deserve what's happened to you for letting it happen. And you will deserve what happens next if you continue to move forward. Have fun with your in-laws.

I'm fully aware of the message it sends by giving in to one's demands when they make threats.

Actually, she says her mother doesn't even want to come to the US and that she is just bringing her mother here so her mother can petition her sister.

[KierenHby 899]

I'm fully aware of the message it sends by giving in to one's demands when they make threats.

Actually, she says her mother doesn't even want to come to the US and that she is just bringing her mother here so her mother can petition her sister.

The wife wants to run a one-stop visa shop for her family.

Don't capitulate, RUN.. RUN !!!!

[Sawa N Ab 7]

I thought it was cultural thing about how your wife wanted to take care of her mother because that is the requirement in her culture but with the sister part now I am confused.

Is there way she could use the joint house income to show that she has enough money but it doesn't make you liable? I saw that on one of my forms and I am not positive if that is the same with y'all's?

Edited August 24, 2015 by Sara N Abhishek

[Shauna&Wael 211]

I'm fully aware of the message it sends by giving in to one's demands when they make threats.

Actually, she says her mother doesn't even want to come to the US and that she is just bringing her mother here so her mother can petition her sister.

How old is her sister?

There's obviously nothing that can convince you that this is not a good situation. You'll see when her family gets here and you're left alone.

[Kelvavik 1]

How old is her sister?

There's obviously nothing that can convince you that this is not a good situation. You'll see when her family gets here and you're left alone.

I believe her sister is 18. It's my understanding that if her mother comes to the US, she can't petition my wife's sister until she (her mother) is a citizen herself. That could be what - 2 to 3 years?

[Kelvavik 1]

I thought it was cultural thing about how your wife wanted to take care of her mother because that is the requirement in her culture but with the sister part now I am confused.

Is there way she could use the joint house income to show that she has enough money but it doesn't make you liable? I saw that on one of my forms and I am not positive if that is the same with y'all's?

I was under the impression that was her plan all along. And then she slaps the I-864a in front of me and as soon as I showed a little bit of hesitance - even though I explained I was to research what it entailed and that it didn't mean "no" - I was given the divorce threat.