my life is over , i just got released from jail, i'm innocent, husband he did it

[Hollyday 122]

To correct you, the history of my husband with DV was with me , I'm the victim ,

How are things going? Have you moved out?

I may have missed it in the responses but just to reiterate if it's been said: under no circumstances stay alone with this man. Avoid all contact. Only have it like at court and such with people around you.

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

Sheesh, reading your story...if I were you I would just pack up and go back home. Again, it would be my choice. At home you have friends, and family and speak the language fluently. I know, there are way better life standards and living options here in the US, but I am not sure it would worth it for me. Especially with a situation like yours, where you're at the verge edge of things, your English is not good enough, and have such a bad history. While, you are definitely the victim, not many job places would want to hire someone with such an unstable life situation as yours. I am not judging you, please don't take it that way! Not at all. I feel actually very sad and sorry for you, but I don't know...just somehow to me it seems this whole thing isn't worth as much. I truly wish you the very best in whatever you do. And again, please don't take my note as an insult or anything. It is not meant that way, but certainly over internet things can be read that way. God bless you!

[onye uwaoma 131]

Sheesh, reading your story...if I were you I would just pack up and go back home. Again, it would be my choice. At home you have friends, and family and speak the language fluently. I know, there are way better life standards and living options here in the US, but I am not sure it would worth it for me. Especially with a situation like yours, where you're at the verge edge of things, your English is not good enough, and have such a bad history. While, you are definitely the victim, not many job places would want to hire someone with such an unstable life situation as yours. I am not judging you, please don't take it that way! Not at all. I feel actually very sad and sorry for you, but I don't know...just somehow to me it seems this whole thing isn't worth as much. I truly wish you the very best in whatever you do. And again, please don't take my note as an insult or anything. It is not meant that way, but certainly over internet things can be read that way. God bless you!

It's obvious you already know you're being mischievous hence your unbridled apologies...and if you were in the shoes of the OP I doubt going back home will be in your card, yet you recklessly conjured it as if to mock this poor victim! I have worked with so many people here who neither speak nor understand English at all, still, the OP writes in English and you apparently understand her story. How can you not show honest support to someone in such a dicey situation? And what does "sheesh" at the beginning of your sentence implies? Edited August 30, 2015 by onye uwaoma

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

It's obvious you already know you're being mischievous hence your unbridled apologies...and if you were in the shoes of the OP I doubt going back home will be in your card, yet you recklessly conjured it as if to mock this poor victim! I have worked with so many people here who neither speak nor understand English at all, still, the OP writes in English and you apparently understand her story. How can you not show honest support to someone in such a dicey situation? And what does "sheesh" at the beginning of your sentence implies?

@Onye Uwaoma: you are as bad reading messages as people I guess. I did not mean to be mean, or as you say "mischievous" by any means. I hope the OP gets my message correctly. I am not mocking her, I was simply stating my opinion and what I would do in her shoe. I didn't say it is the correct decision, I simply shared my opinion on the matter. Everyone is entitled to give their free thoughts across. And it doesn't have to agree with the OP's choice and that is fine. And it certainly does not need to agree with yours. However, you do not have the right to attack people just because they don't share the same opinion as you do, so please don't attack me. Do you know what "sheesh" means by the way? Apparently not.

I did not call the OP by any names, I simply shared what I believe would be the best choice for her IN MY OPINION. Let me repeat, I did not for a second said my decision is the best one and the only one she should follow. She does whatever she wants. She can stay here for all I care. I just simply shared that if I was in this situation what I would do. Being here a foreign for her with her situation (financially, culturally, historically) is not a walk in the park. Please don't attack people who don't happen to agree with your choice, especially where it is clear from my message that I meant no harm or insult to the OP. Please read the messages carefully...they might not reflect your opinion but they doesn't mean they mean any harm.

[onye uwaoma 131]

@Onye Uwaoma: you are as bad reading messages as people I guess. I did not mean to be mean, or as you say "mischievous" by any means. I hope the OP gets my message correctly. I am not mocking her, I was simply stating my opinion and what I would do in her shoe. I didn't say it is the correct decision, I simply shared my opinion on the matter. Everyone is entitled to give their free thoughts across. And it doesn't have to agree with the OP's choice and that is fine. And it certainly does not need to agree with yours. However, you do not have the right to attack people just because they don't share the same opinion as you do, so please don't attack me. Do you know what "sheesh" means by the way? Apparently not.

I did not call the OP by any names, I simply shared what I believe would be the best choice for her IN MY OPINION. Let me repeat, I did not for a second said my decision is the best one and the only one she should follow. She does whatever she wants. She can stay here for all I care. I just simply shared that if I was in this situation what I would do. Being here a foreign for her with her situation (financially, culturally, historically) is not a walk in the park. Please don't attack people who don't happen to agree with your choice, especially where it is clear from my message that I meant no harm or insult to the OP. Please read the messages carefully...they might not reflect your opinion but they doesn't mean they mean any harm.

You stated, "Especially with a situation like yours, where you're at the verge edge of things, your English is not good enough, and have such a bad history. While, you are definitely the victim, not many job places would want to hire someone with such an unstable life situation as yours." How could you relegate her to the background in such a disdain manner?

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

You stated, "Especially with a situation like yours, where you're at the verge edge of things, your English is not good enough, and have such a bad history. While, you are definitely the victim, not many job places would want to hire someone with such an unstable life situation as yours." How could you relegate her to the background in such a disdain manner?

You are the most abrasive people I've encountered here!!! Your response is without the benefit of intellect and as a result I will refrain from responding to any of your responses. Be well

Edited August 30, 2015 by AnotherLostSoul

[onye uwaoma 131]

You are the most abrasive people I've encountered here!!! Your response is without the benefit of intellect and as a result I will refrain from responding to any of your responses. Be well

When people are down there should be an uplifting for them and certainly telling someone he/she is not good enough in any language or form is unacceptable. Think of what I am telling you in a light mind and don't feel it's an attack on you. Maybe you can learn one or two things from it.

[TBoneTX 45,273]

Belay the bickering, folks.

[begood 8]

@Onye Uwaoma: you are as bad reading messages as people I guess. I did not mean to be mean, or as you say "mischievous" by any means. I hope the OP gets my message correctly. I am not mocking her, I was simply stating my opinion and what I would do in her shoe. I didn't say it is the correct decision, I simply shared my opinion on the matter. Everyone is entitled to give their free thoughts across. And it doesn't have to agree with the OP's choice and that is fine. And it certainly does not need to agree with yours. However, you do not have the right to attack people just because they don't share the same opinion as you do, so please don't attack me. Do you know what "sheesh" means by the way? Apparently not.

I did not call the OP by any names, I simply shared what I believe would be the best choice for her IN MY OPINION. Let me repeat, I did not for a second said my decision is the best one and the only one she should follow. She does whatever she wants. She can stay here for all I care. I just simply shared that if I was in this situation what I would do. Being here a foreign for her with her situation (financially, culturally, historically) is not a walk in the park. Please don't attack people who don't happen to agree with your choice, especially where it is clear from my message that I meant no harm or insult to the OP. Please read the messages carefully...they might not reflect your opinion but they doesn't mean they mean any harm.

Anotherlostsoul Sorry the girl she wrote this post she speaks fluently 2 languages, English is her third language i understood everything she said and i'm encouraging her to stay in USA, because she came from Muslim family and not good for her to go back home now with no money and no husband she can decide later what she wants to do and like she told me before he didn't want to divorce her, she can divorce him , she called me yesterday i called her back but no answer , i will find out whats happened in her case soon

Edited September 1, 2015 by begood

[rlogan 2,036]

And what does "sheesh" at the beginning of your sentence implies?

Hey - you're pretty good.

When someone does not answer a simple question and instead attacks the person asking, you have your answer. In this case, notice after you asked what they meant by the term, the answer was to ask YOU what it meant, lol. Answering questions with questions is a key signal we need in our toolkit for understanding what people are up to.

This expression generally means the person is fed up with someone, telling them what a bother they are. Exasperation.

Students at a higher level of understanding manipulation will notice something else: the "solution" offered is not even possible. When you are charged with a crime, you can't even leave your town, let alone go back to your country! So saying to"just" go home (that term "just" is called a minimizer, to make it sound so terribly easy) is like telling them to close their eyes, tap their shoes,and say "there's no place like home" and magically poof themselves into heaven.

Here she is, charged with a crime, fleeing from which is a felony, Telling a person already charged with a crime to commit another felony, as if it were this warm, cheerful opinion - lol. Is this some minor, insignificant detail about the story? That she is currently charged criminally and has no legal right to leave? No, it is pretty much the ENTIRE STORY. This is the very thing about the story that is so awful and in need of such important advice: the fact she is charged with a crime.

So to cut that out of the story, essentially, and make it sound like all they have to do is catch the bus to Disneyland is trivializing their circumstance and making it seem like a bother to even tell people about it. Sheesh. Just shoot your way out of jail already and stop whining ... Have a wonderful day!

Edited September 1, 2015 by rlogan

[onye uwaoma 131]

Hey - you're pretty good.

When someone does not answer a simple question and instead attacks the person asking, you have your answer. In this case, notice after you asked what they meant by the term, the answer was to ask YOU what it meant, lol. Answering questions with questions is a key signal we need in our toolkit for understanding what people are up to.

This expression generally means the person is fed up with someone, telling them what a bother they are. Exasperation.

Students at a higher level of understanding manipulation will notice something else: the "solution" offered is not even possible. When you are charged with a crime, you can't even leave your town, let alone go back to your country! So saying to"just" go home (that term "just" is called a minimizer, to make it sound so terribly easy) is like telling them to close their eyes, tap their shoes,and say "there's no place like home" and magically poof themselves into heaven.

Here she is, charged with a crime, fleeing from which is a felony, Telling a person already charged with a crime to commit another felony, as if it were this warm, cheerful opinion - lol. Is this some minor, insignificant detail about the story? That she is currently charged criminally and has no legal right to leave? No, it is pretty much the ENTIRE STORY. This is the very thing about the story that is so awful and in need of such important advice: the fact she is charged with a crime.

So to cut that out of the story, essentially, and make it sound like all they have to do is catch the bus to Disneyland is trivializing their circumstance and making it seem like a bother to even tell people about it. Sheesh. Just shoot your way out of jail already and stop whining ... Have a wonderful day!

You got me blushing with your intelligent expressions right here. Always all the time, it is only a good idea to understand the audience we are trying to get a message across to before we can make any meaningful impact. Again, it is better to read every comment critically so that we can accept good ideas and reject any idea that is inconsistent with reality.

[rlogan 2,036]

You got me blushing with your intelligent expressions right here.

But what you got is radar. I was not kidding when I said "you're good". You can spot manipulation by how it feels when you see it. Tell me I am wrong. lol. This is something I do know a lot about, but I had broken radar. Yours is good.

This woman in the OP is an example of not trusting radar, or not having it at all. Anything that is amiss: do not explain it away.

Walk in with your eyes open. Especially with abuse, if you see any, then run like hell. Do not give chances. Abuse = fail. Well yes of course, a person who abuses you will also set you up to be in the wrong. They have no conscience.

[onye uwaoma 131]

But what you got is radar. I was not kidding when I said "you're good". You can spot manipulation by how it feels when you see it. Tell me I am wrong. lol. This is something I do know a lot about, but I had broken radar. Yours is good.

This woman in the OP is an example of not trusting radar, or not having it at all. Anything that is amiss: do not explain it away. You're right especially on this matter. It's very much like some cases here on visajourney where certain individuals signed up to ask information about how to game the system. When I spot these posts, I be like sheesh lol...

Walk in with your eyes open. Especially with abuse, if you see any, then run like hell. Do not give chances. Abuse = fail. Well yes of course, a person who abuses you will also set you up to be in the wrong. They have no conscience.

But what you got is radar. I was not kidding when I said "you're good". You can spot manipulation by how it feels when you see it. Tell me I am wrong. lol. This is something I do know a lot about, but I had broken radar. Yours is good.

This woman in the OP is an example of not trusting radar, or not having it at all. Anything that is amiss: do not explain it away.

Walk in with your eyes open. Especially with abuse, if you see any, then run like hell. Do not give chances. Abuse = fail. Well yes of course, a person who abuses you will also set you up to be in the wrong. They have no conscience.

You're right especially on this matter. It's very much like some cases here on visajourney where certain individuals signed up to ask information about how to game the system. When I spot these posts, I be like sheesh lol...