my life is over , i just got released from jail, i'm innocent, husband he did it

[CheeAndPaul 9]

You should not be contacting him. Leave. Your relationship with him is over. It was over when the first case of domestic abuse happened.

Do not worry about work for now, your immediate goal is to find somewhere safe to stay.

[nancy55 6]

Wow, I am so sorry about this....

Unfortunately, Domestic Violence & false accusations of Domestic violence are common here in the United States. I was also arrested for domestic violence on a false accusation. I have since those years ago become a nurse and an advocate for victims of domestic violence.

worst of all, if your arrested at all. Even if it was a false arrest, it will always be on your record!!! A police officer 10 years from now will still see that on your record search if anyone ever looked.

ONLY A FEW SOLUTIONS EXIST: ( for your legal problems )

1. It sounds like you need legal "defense", a lawyer. You need to find a lawyer or a "company/firm" that not only works in criminal defense but also immigration! You may need some immigration protection depending on the type of "charge" you received. This process here in #1 is lengthy and the law system here in the United States is known for being slow. However, it is also known for being a money-#######. While bribes are illegal in the United States, I have realized from experience that money can pretty much make any problem go away. So, if you value your new life in the United States, then get a lawyer!

2. You could just do nothing. Our legal system in America provides you with a FREE criminal attorney to you if you cannot pay for one. You will goto a pre-trial conference. The prosecutor ( the people who are after you ), will probably offer you some sort of plea-deal. They will offer you something like "Plead guilty, and we will drop the charges down to a misdemeanor and give you 1 year of probation. If you accept that deal, then you are finished. Or you can refuse the deal and the entire process will go to court ( like you see on TV )..... The biggest concern of mine that I have for you; is THE Exact charge they arrested you for. Because usually a person who is arrested only for their first time, usually does not get a felony for domestic violence. what did they charge you with?

3. You could abandon your citizenship. When you are released out of jail they tell you not to leave the state or the United States. But, it's possible.... you could get on a flight right now and go back home. But you would be abandoning your citizenship, leaving un-resolved legal matters, and making it extremely hard to come back to the United States.......... I would know because my wife took this option #3 before we got married.

Again, this whole situation sucks. Often times in these situations, not everyone is completely innocent........ There are many more types of abuse that purely physical. If you need to chat, or if you need more detailed information on the "legal process" here in America... Send me a private message and I can help you navigate through it. I have been arrested more times than I would like to admit.

OPTIONS REGARDING ABUSIVE SPOUSE:

- Please read the comments above from Shauna&Wael.

- Victims of domestic violence are protected here in the United States.

If you have not already left your spouse:

1. First thing to do is call a "domestic violence" center in your local town. If true that the police were already there once before, then they probably gave you a letter or a hand-out paper that lists several resource centers in your home town.

Your Goals should be to:

1. See if you can file a temporary injuction. A lot of states have protections in place for you and frequently they can give you full control of the house where you live. Especially if you are the victim and you have nowhere else to go. This is state-dependent and not all of the US states are the same.

2. Or find other housing alternatives: friends, family, or such as a woman's shelter , homeless shelter,

3. Talk to a lawyer, and find the correct path for fixing your legal problems

4. JOB - Make that money $$, you will need it.

Escaping Domestic Violence is not something that is easily done. Here in the United States it can be even more difficult given the housing situation here in America. It is extremely expensive to try and leave a spouse with nothing on your back and not a dollar to your name. But, you should ask for those resources we have mentioned..... And all you can do is say that "I deserve better", and "you will get through this".......... Because, I promise you. You can do it....

God bless.

(PS) - Send me a message if you really do need some guidance. I can help you find local resources in your home town also.

Hi i have read your post, not easy for me to understand everything, i don't know from where to start?

husband is abandoning me, happy with his case, and pressing charges on me, and i want to do the same thing i have classes on DV , and proofs of his past DV, i don't know what to start with , i asked while i was in jail if somebody takes pictures of my bruits somebody that can tell what to do next before judge meeting, somebody he talked about my statue as a CR1 and said i can take pictures of my bruits and put restraining order on him too and take the whole paper that i have to the judge , my question is : what can i do from now to the judge day, its 9 days from now?

[Boiler 45,486]

Have you appointed a lawyer yet?

[nancy55 6]

try to get your husband to recant his story. Then, if possible, have your attorney try for a lessor offense, one not in the DOMV rhealm. Right now, you have no conviction record, just an arrest. If you can get it adjudicated to a lessor misdeamenor charge (fighting maybe), or dismissed if your husband recants, you can later have it expunged depending on your state. Under no circumstances should you take a witholding adjudication.

he is not going to change what he said he said he is going to make more charges on me, he said i'm paying from telling all the time i will call police on him

[nancy55 6]

You should not be contacting him. Leave. Your relationship with him is over. It was over when the first case of domestic abuse happened.

Do not worry about work for now, your immediate goal is to find somewhere safe to stay.

i just tried to see if he can don't put restraining on me, because im having financial problems, to help my case since its fake , last year i supported him , even the case was serious, and i was expecting the same after the arrest but it seems he really wanted to get ride of me, sure he was surprised when he saw me at the house, he know i have no body no family, no job, no Friends, 0, to help me pay the bail, but i did find bailed out even the money are very short, and i will have problem to pay the rest, im under shock and i dont want others shocks, last year i put RO on him , this time he want to enjoy doing the same to me, when i came to the house he drove me to fast food place, and bought me sandwich and he said he want to protect himself legally , he is lying

[nancy55 6]

Have you appointed a lawyer yet?

no not yet, how to appoint one? is this lawyer will help me when i will see the judge and will be present? i was thinking he may this husband since he is lying he may calm down after the big show he made and he may go with me when i meet the judge to help me with my case, but he is refusing,

[belinda63 3,038]

Don't count on your spouse to do anything for you. Even if he agrees to go to court he may just make things worse for you.

You will go before the judge where you will be asked questions about your income and assets. At that time if you qualify you will be referred to a public defender.

You need to get out of the house right now. Gather your things, all the evidence you can, all your important documents and leave NOW!

There are domestic violence shelters, homeless shelters, etc you can utilize as a temporary place to stay. If you can't find one go to the police station. They are required to provide you with the information on the local domestic violence shelter. If you can't/won't do that contact a church.

You need to accept that your marriage is over. It is kaput. Done, ended.......there is no more marriage. He is not your partner he is your adversary. Do not count on him, do not depend on him, do not trust him.

[nancy55 6]

Don't count on your spouse to do anything for you. Even if he agrees to go to court he may just make things worse for you.

You will go before the judge where you will be asked questions about your income and assets. At that time if you qualify you will be referred to a public defender.

You need to get out of the house right now. Gather your things, all the evidence you can, all your important documents and leave NOW!

There are domestic violence shelters, homeless shelters, etc you can utilize as a temporary place to stay. If you can't find one go to the police station. They are required to provide you with the information on the local domestic violence shelter. If you can't/won't do that contact a church.

You need to accept that your marriage is over. It is kaput. Done, ended.......there is no more marriage. He is not your partner he is your adversary. Do not count on him, do not depend on him, do not trust him.

This is what i was thinking about too, he may makes things worse if he go , what do you mean questions about income and assets like what? what means public defender?

my documents are in my bag that is still in the place where they takes me yesterday , i need tomorrow to go get it i have receipt the jail was far from where my bag is i couldn't have it today

if if put restraining order on me, and he know i just needed the place where im now for few days to rest, i cant eat and im sick i have fever to think now at this second im leaving i cant do it because im very tired , very very tired , i just need this spot where im now just to relax alittle bit, i looks like i made a surgery yesterday and i feel dizzy, my face looks like i made surgery red and hot with a high fever, i m trying to take medications just to feel myself, if he put restraining on me tomorrow , a big game will start i just nee to relax before i start doing what i need to do i know its over , he changed me from honest clean woman i work in social to criminal with bad record

[Shauna&Wael 211]

This is what i was thinking about too, he may makes things worse if he go , what do you mean questions about income and assets like what? what means public defender?

my documents are in my bag that is still in the place where they takes me yesterday , i need tomorrow to go get it i have receipt the jail was far from where my bag is i couldn't have it today

if if put restraining order on me, and he know i just needed the place where im now for few days to rest, i cant eat and im sick i have fever to think now at this second im leaving i cant do it because im very tired , very very tired , i just need this spot where im now just to relax alittle bit, i looks like i made a surgery yesterday and i feel dizzy, my face looks like i made surgery red and hot with a high fever, i m trying to take medications just to feel myself, if he put restraining on me tomorrow , a big game will start i just nee to relax before i start doing what i need to do i know its over , he changed me from honest clean woman i work in social to criminal with bad record

You need to listen to what everyone is saying. Staying in that house, I PROMISE, will only make things worse. There is no light at the end of the tunnel if you stay in that house. There are resources for you which many people have given you, you need to find someone who speaks your language who can explain the legal parts.

[nancy55 6]

You need to listen to what everyone is saying. Staying in that house, I PROMISE, will only make things worse. There is no light at the end of the tunnel if you stay in that house. There are resources for you which many people have given you, you need to find someone who speaks your language who can explain the legal parts.

I already asked who can speak with me and explain to me every thing and how the judge meeting looks like , but i don't know where to go to be well prepared , who to contact to help me well prepared , because i myself consider myself as a victim not him , who do i have to contact tomorrow morning? i know i will go to fix my things with the bail agency after that where to go? i appreciate your help

where should i go tomorrow? and who to ask for to help me understand and be well prepared for the judge day ? i did asked in the jail what should i do the man just said gather info take picture yourself to your bruits and may be file RO and wait for the judge day, but i do need more info and more advice to be well prepared during the 9 days that i have before i will be in court,

Edited August 17, 2015 by faatima

[onye uwaoma 131]

Hi, i feel bad, i feel i'm official criminal today , i never thought i will be writing something like that never ever , i was victim of domestic violence last year and like this month i forgiven my husband in the court, his case was dropped from felony to no charge due to my words all the time to forgive him, since then , i insisted to don't call the police against him because like he said this time they may take him to prison, and i knew if i call the police the second time we have to get divorced, the husband he became worse thinking that i will never call the police again, he started spitting in face , slapping, ect, few weeks ago he became mad at point he split my t shirt from my body ,it was my favorite t shirt i take a pictures of my split shirt on my phone one day he saw the pictures , any way last night there was a fight, when he do not smoke his herbs/ drinks he start tripping calling me names and pushing my hair this is what he did i found his phone locked for the first time because he was lying about the presence of some of his Friends to city and saying he is going to his job while he was spending time with them, he was fighting, i felt very upset from what he did to me to my hair ect and i told him i will call the police and you will see, he left feeling scared that i'm going to call the police , i left to buy some medications thinking if i call or not, by the time i came back i was changing my clothes some person called my name and knocked the door, when i opened there was the police, even they saw a lot of proofs they said you should go, i feel i dream they take me and i was told that the charge is felony ????????????????? he told them she split my shirt and injured my face and i don't know more, i had some small money that i will use tomorrow to pay they told me in jail i can call him to pay because i don't work, but the bail agency accepted just the money i have with his help or without and i will pay the rest later, i' done, I'm finished he did it, he run before me , i was counting days to hear back from some job interviews that i take, now nobody will hire me , everything will show up in background check yes? is what i'm thinking about is true, i have now to stop applying because i feel not good saying i was arrested. no not me !how can i find job now, i will see the judge in 8 days, they told me take my DV papers hopefully the judge do something and save me , please any help will be much appreciated

1 question i forget if he want to pay the bail in my behalf is this will help my case or no? my life is finished i'm crying i just came to the house i found him sleeping loudly when they arrested him last year i was crying like someday died at the house , if he put restraining on me i will be in the street, please any ideas, i was arrested for something i did not do , i should just call before him and stop loving love gave me nothing , now i'm in troubles, please do not hesitate to give me advice

thanks

by way i changed the picture on my profile

Well! This is not a police state, the court will hear your side of the story just be honest about it. Hopefully your public defender is a passionate person and you will be free... Sorry for your predicament!

[nancy55 6]

Well! This is not a police state, the court will hear your side of the story just be honest about it. Hopefully your public defender is a passionate person and you will be free... Sorry for your predicament!

Thanks, i hope so, last year i heard that the husband case is dropped before he went to the judge ? why? that means they take decisions before they meet and listen to the other side?

[onye uwaoma 131]

try to get your husband to recant his story. Then, if possible, have your attorney try for a lessor offense, one not in the DOMV rhealm. Right now, you have no conviction record, just an arrest. If you can get it adjudicated to a lessor misdeamenor charge (fighting maybe), or dismissed if your husband recants, you can later have it expunged depending on your state. Under no circumstances should you take a witholding adjudication.

from everything she stated here her husband is the abuser and the court would see it. Her arrest does not appear to mean she's guilty as charged. She should not talk to the husband but rather she should gather all her evidence and talk with her public defender if she is really charged to court. Public defender is better than nothing since she can't affordable private lawyer. Edited August 17, 2015 by onye uwaoma

[onye uwaoma 131]

Thanks, i hope so, last year i heard that the husband case is dropped before he went to the judge ? why? that means they take decisions before they meet and listen to the other side?

this is what happens when you get arrested your case is sent to the office of the district attorney who will decide to file charges or not. As it is right now, no charges has been brought against you. The police told you what they arrested for and that does not mean you have been charged. You can call the DA or have a lawyer talk to the DA to know what he/she wants to do with your case. If you have a lawyer let him/her know you're the victim or if you don't have any lawyer go to the DA's and talk to him/her. Also the DA will see from the record that you dropped charges against him before and will know this is a special case. They're very knowledgible in their profession. Worry less dear...

[onye uwaoma 131]

Hi i have read your post, not easy for me to understand everything, i don't know from where to start?

husband is abandoning me, happy with his case, and pressing charges on me, and i want to do the same thing i have classes on DV , and proofs of his past DV, i don't know what to start with , i asked while i was in jail if somebody takes pictures of my bruits somebody that can tell what to do next before judge meeting, somebody he talked about my statue as a CR1 and said i can take pictures of my bruits and put restraining order on him too and take the whole paper that i have to the judge , my question is : what can i do from now to the judge day, its 9 days from now?

you can get a restraining order against him with any evidence if the judge agrees with you.