Chasing fair skin, Ivorians ignore whitening cream ban

[Janelle2002 3,865]

He's an idiot and doesn't understand that straight hair is not just 'ruler straight' hair. I can no more style my hair in a majority of adorable 'white' styles than a black woman can--just for totally different reasons! Straightened hair behaves differently from straight hair, which people who do not have straight straight hair do not understand. It took me until I was 20 to figure out why my hair would never ever ever look like the straight hair styles in the style books, even a little--that's when I had a nice Chinese-Canadian hair stylist who looked at the style book and said 'You can't have that. Your hair is straight.' I miss her so much. She taught me that if I want longer styles to look okay, someone has to use a razor, not scissors and that there's no power on this earth that will make a pixie cut viable for me--it will always grow straight up.

That's because men only care about wanting the woman to conform to their ideal standards of beauty and they don't care about nor do they know about what a woman has to go through to get this ideal look. And hair is a huge issue, especially within the black community. And so many woman fight to make sure their daughters have "good hair." Hair that can be easily permed and straightened so their children will be considered beautiful and acceptable even though they have dark or brown skin.

[Not a Tailor 1,370]

That's because men only care about wanting the woman to conform to their ideal standards of beauty and they don't care about nor do they know about what a woman has to go through to get this ideal look. And hair is a huge issue, especially within the black community. And so many woman fight to make sure their daughters have "good hair." Hair that can be easily permed and straightened so their children will be considered beautiful and acceptable even though they have dark or brown skin.

It's really upsetting that men refuse to acknowledge their role in all this. I mean, yes, I'm married to a woman, but while someone like Anne Hathaway can wear her hair in a short pixie and the media goes all abuzz about how intensely beautiful she is and how feminine and soft she is, if I get my hair cut the exact same way, because my natural hair texture is such that my hair stands on end when it's short, men will shout out to me on the street that I'm a *insert unpleasant term for lesbian starting with d* and hate men. Men treat women, ALL women, as though we're toys or objets d'art, there for their amusement and admiration only, to be mocked, ridiculed and mistreated if we DARE to deviate from what they declare pleasant and desirable, and then say 'but it's women who choose to perm their hair! It's women who do X cosmetic thing! Why are you blaming us?'

Poor mens, I guess responsibility is too hard for them. I mean look how quick they are to blame a woman for getting raped by a man. Can't expect men to take responsibility for anything!

[Janelle2002 3,865]

It's really upsetting that men refuse to acknowledge their role in all this. I mean, yes, I'm married to a woman, but while someone like Anne Hathaway can wear her hair in a short pixie and the media goes all abuzz about how intensely beautiful she is and how feminine and soft she is, if I get my hair cut the exact same way, because my natural hair texture is such that my hair stands on end when it's short, men will shout out to me on the street that I'm a *insert unpleasant term for lesbian starting with d* and hate men. Men treat women, ALL women, as though we're toys or objets d'art, there for their amusement and admiration only, to be mocked, ridiculed and mistreated if we DARE to deviate from what they declare pleasant and desirable, and then say 'but it's women who choose to perm their hair! It's women who do X cosmetic thing! Why are you blaming us?'

Poor mens, I guess responsibility is too hard for them. I mean look how quick they are to blame a woman for getting raped by a man. Can't expect men to take responsibility for anything!

Exactly, they don't take responsibility for what women have to go through to please them. I completely agree. Like a black woman who chooses to wear her natural hair is considered much more unattractive than one who straightens her hair. And there were actually two guys at my office having a conversation over my hair. One guy said he likes it when I wear my hair natural and he didn't like the fact that I straightened it. The other guy says he this I look more professional when my hair is straightened however, it is okay sometimes when I wear my hair natural. They had this debate in front of me for like 10 minutes. There are plenty of black women that say they do not get hits on their dating profiles if they have a picture up of them with their natural hair. It is just sad.

I have to ask myself, how long will a relationship last with a man who wants a woman to be so superficial with everything on her body surgically and chemically altered? And do he realize that when they have kids, the kids are still going to come out looking the natural way, not the altered way the woman has changed herself to become.

[Darnell 8,478]

I prefer the natural look, always. Well, except about one thing, and it's not family friendly to talk about...

[Not a Tailor 1,370]

Exactly, they don't take responsibility for what women have to go through to please them. I completely agree. Like a black woman who chooses to wear her natural hair is considered much more unattractive than one who straightens her hair. And there were actually two guys at my office having a conversation over my hair. One guy said he likes it when I wear my hair natural and he didn't like the fact that I straightened it. The other guy says he this I look more professional when my hair is straightened however, it is okay sometimes when I wear my hair natural. They had this debate in front of me for like 10 minutes. There are plenty of black women that say they do not get hits on their dating profiles if they have a picture up of them with their natural hair. It is just sad.

I have to ask myself, how long will a relationship last with a man who wants a woman to be so superficial with everything on her body surgically and chemically altered? And do he realize that when they have kids, the kids are still going to come out looking the natural way, not the altered way the woman has changed herself to become.

Black women definitely get shafted the worst when it comes to hair debates. The idea that someone's natural hair texture would be unprofessional bothers me so much. As long as my hair is long enough to fall over and it's been cut properly (speaking of, I need to find a hairdresser down here as my hair needs a trim and I am DREADING this), my hair is, by default, professional. It lays all in one direction and has no volume or play to it. This does not mean caring for it isn't hard or that I look nice--bad haircuts are much, much more common for me than good ones--but even with a bad haircut, my hair is perceived as more professional than a black woman's natural hair is with a really good cut. That's such complete and total BS. I can literally do nothing but shower and part my hair in the middle and I'm 'professional' but for a black woman to have the same level of 'professional' appearance, she has to spend hours in a chair with toxic chemicals burning her hair or wear a hot, itchy wig. It's not right at all.

Personally, and my opinion counts not at all, I know, and has no bearing on social structures and should have absolutely ZERO bearing on what anyone else does with their hair, I've always thought that black women's natural hair was one of the most beautiful hair types I've ever seen. It's got volume and body and there are so many different ways to adorn it. I think it just looks so beautiful. Though, my favourite hair type is the hair type the person wearing likes best--people smile more and feel better when they're comfortable in their appearance. I just wish that societal expectations of beauty had less bearing on what people like best for themselves.

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

It's really upsetting that men refuse to acknowledge their role in all this. I mean, yes, I'm married to a woman, but while someone like Anne Hathaway can wear her hair in a short pixie and the media goes all abuzz about how intensely beautiful she is and how feminine and soft she is, if I get my hair cut the exact same way, because my natural hair texture is such that my hair stands on end when it's short, men will shout out to me on the street that I'm a *insert unpleasant term for lesbian starting with d* and hate men. Men treat women, ALL women, as though we're toys or objets d'art, there for their amusement and admiration only, to be mocked, ridiculed and mistreated if we DARE to deviate from what they declare pleasant and desirable, and then say 'but it's women who choose to perm their hair! It's women who do X cosmetic thing! Why are you blaming us?'

Poor mens, I guess responsibility is too hard for them. I mean look how quick they are to blame a woman for getting raped by a man. Can't expect men to take responsibility for anything!

Exactly, they don't take responsibility for what women have to go through to please them. I completely agree. Like a black woman who chooses to wear her natural hair is considered much more unattractive than one who straightens her hair. And there were actually two guys at my office having a conversation over my hair. One guy said he likes it when I wear my hair natural and he didn't like the fact that I straightened it. The other guy says he this I look more professional when my hair is straightened however, it is okay sometimes when I wear my hair natural. They had this debate in front of me for like 10 minutes. There are plenty of black women that say they do not get hits on their dating profiles if they have a picture up of them with their natural hair. It is just sad.

I have to ask myself, how long will a relationship last with a man who wants a woman to be so superficial with everything on her body surgically and chemically altered? And do he realize that when they have kids, the kids are still going to come out looking the natural way, not the altered way the woman has changed herself to become.

Don't worry, I got both of you. I think that women have to go through hell to please men. Hair, skin color, all the superficial things mean nothing if there's nothing underneath. What makes a woman beautiful is what's inside of her heart and inside her head.

NAT, I know as a lesbian woman, you're looked upon with disdain. Men are intimidated by your choice in a mate and can't express this without being complete douche bags. I've heard your stories and your pain growing up. On the behalf of men everywhere, I wish you nothing but love and happiness with your wife. And know when they call you out your name, that's just self loathing and jealousy.

Janelle, as a black woman, I know your travels are long and arduous. You have to conform yourself to be what society wants you to be, which is pretty much a white woman, since being black in itself is a crime. Being a man, I too thought straight hair was the way to go, until I saw a woman in her natural curls, and realized just how beautiful she was being herself. I'm ashamed I went this long thinking this. To you I say, you're FINE just the way you are. Don't change a single thing, any man would be honored to have you, and if he says different, eff you see kay him.

[Janelle2002 3,865]

I prefer the natural look, always. Well, except about one thing, and it's not family friendly to talk about...

[Not a Tailor 1,370]

I prefer the natural look, always. Well, except about one thing, and it's not family friendly to talk about...

But it reduces the need to floss! Think about your dental health!

[Janelle2002 3,865]

Black women definitely get shafted the worst when it comes to hair debates. The idea that someone's natural hair texture would be unprofessional bothers me so much. As long as my hair is long enough to fall over and it's been cut properly (speaking of, I need to find a hairdresser down here as my hair needs a trim and I am DREADING this), my hair is, by default, professional. It lays all in one direction and has no volume or play to it. This does not mean caring for it isn't hard or that I look nice--bad haircuts are much, much more common for me than good ones--but even with a bad haircut, my hair is perceived as more professional than a black woman's natural hair is with a really good cut. That's such complete and total BS. I can literally do nothing but shower and part my hair in the middle and I'm 'professional' but for a black woman to have the same level of 'professional' appearance, she has to spend hours in a chair with toxic chemicals burning her hair or wear a hot, itchy wig. It's not right at all.

Personally, and my opinion counts not at all, I know, and has no bearing on social structures and should have absolutely ZERO bearing on what anyone else does with their hair, I've always thought that black women's natural hair was one of the most beautiful hair types I've ever seen. It's got volume and body and there are so many different ways to adorn it. I think it just looks so beautiful. Though, my favourite hair type is the hair type the person wearing likes best--people smile more and feel better when they're comfortable in their appearance. I just wish that societal expectations of beauty had less bearing on what people like best for themselves.

I don't blame you. It is scary to let someone else cut your hair. lol What happens if you don't like the cut or they trim too much off of it? Horrendous!

I don't go to the beauty shop anymore. I do however get my hair braided every once in a while. Which also isn't accepted in my work environment. A fight to be good enough and please everyone is hard. After I decided to go natural no one knew how to do my hair and kept asking why don't I perm it. I don't perm my daughters hair and it finally dawned on me I shouldn't perm mine either. It is really hard to teach them they are beautiful just the way they are. And since they have nice curly hair, they get questions like, you must have a white or Hispanic dad because black people don't have this nice curly hair. You can only get it from having one white parent. Or straighten their hair, the boys will like them more.

[JohnR! 5,495]

But it reduces the need to floss! Think about your dental health!

[Janelle2002 3,865]

But it reduces the need to floss! Think about your dental health!

:rofl: You killing me girl!

[Darnell 8,478]

But it reduces the need to floss! Think about your dental health!

yes, yes, muncheon for luncheon, and all that, but still, that's my preference, not stuck in any particular marketing demographic.. oh wait - maybe it is ?

[Janelle2002 3,865]

Don't worry, I got both of you. I think that women have to go through hell to please men. Hair, skin color, all the superficial things mean nothing if there's nothing underneath. What makes a woman beautiful is what's inside of her heart and inside her head.

NAT, I know as a lesbian woman, you're looked upon with disdain. Men are intimidated by your choice in a mate and can't express this without being complete douche bags. I've heard your stories and your pain growing up. On the behalf of men everywhere, I wish you nothing but love and happiness with your wife. And know when they call you out your name, that's just self loathing and jealousy.

Janelle, as a black woman, I know your travels are long and arduous. You have to conform yourself to be what society wants you to be, which is pretty much a white woman, since being black in itself is a crime. Being a man, I too thought straight hair was the way to go, until I saw a woman in her natural curls, and realized just how beautiful she was being herself. I'm ashamed I went this long thinking this. To you I say, you're FINE just the way you are. Don't change a single thing, any man would be honored to have you, and if he says different, eff you see kay him.

Yes, the men are definitely jealous!!!! They never want to think a woman is doing something better than a man or a woman would rather choose another woman instead of a man. They become enraged at this though!! I know NAT and her wife and knocking em out as they walk by.

What a very kind thing to say. It was very hard for me to accept myself once I decided to use my natural hair. For the longest I would pin my hair back because I was ashamed to let people see my hair. This is still taking some getting used to. Especially if you are looking to please someone, you want to make them happy and you want them to think you are attractive, yes? So you are always riddled with do I straighten or do natural. Which way will he view me as being the most attractive as?

[Darnell 8,478]

Unca Darnell say - GO NATURAL, and often ! [well, ok, always...]

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

Yes, the men are definitely jealous!!!! They never want to think a woman is doing something better than a man or a woman would rather choose another woman instead of a man. They become enraged at this though!! I know NAT and her wife and knocking em out as they walk by.

What a very kind thing to say. It was very hard for me to accept myself once I decided to use my natural hair. For the longest I would pin my hair back because I was ashamed to let people see my hair. This is still taking some getting used to. Especially if you are looking to please someone, you want to make them happy and you want them to think you are attractive, yes? So you are always riddled with do I straighten or do natural. Which way will he view me as being the most attractive as?

A man that loves you will always protect you. I think that if you're comfortable with your hair in it's natural state, then that's what you should go with. If he's not happy with it, he can kick rocks.

Remember, you don't wake up like diss! He needs to accept you, flaws and all. That's what love really is, knowing all there is to know about someone and still loving them.