The P1nk Ranter, A Shot In The Darklar

[TBoneTX 45,299]

Are a breakfast burrito....

You're a breakfast burrito, huh man?

Hillbilly loves them. Don't lie.....

Why would anyone eat a little burro? The meat is VERY tough, was served it in Peru man.

Now I'm eating a McDonald's Many'rd pounder

Ingestion item corrected, sigh man.

Tarklar time has been cancelled.

And it's no longer a part of our daily scheduled program....

You raaaaaaang, huh man?

1. That is rough. I second the Ontarkie suggestion of the fertility doctor. We would have never gotten pregnant without our reproductive endocrinologist.

2. Speaking of which, the Dane has been pushing for us to try again now. Too soon, too soon.

1. Is this Fallopian chat, huh ma'am?

2. It's NEVER too soon, no ma'am -- ask Ontarklar, fecund D ma'am.

There's nobody here to make fun of.....

[perks up ears]

[TBoneTX 45,299]

They should invent one of those scratch off games, call it um...."Tarklar Manys". If you win, you gotta pay them 1 Many dollars....

Payoff amount precised, sigh man.

---

We are obviously back, return man. Composing Mexico-trip screed, fighting fatigue man.

[Ontarkie 14,225]

Welcome back!

I used to love eat the quarter pounder but when we moved here they were gross. I don't go to McDonalds to eat microwave/steam burgers

They are now doing that back home too Oh well good thing I guess!

[SAT 9,609]

Don't they put mustard in the burgers down south?

Payoff amount precised, sigh man.

---

We are obviously back, return man. Composing Mexico-trip screed, fighting fatigue man.

I was gonna say, what are you doing here, there's no Wi-Fi in Mexico.....

And, they fixed your dentures that fast?

[Ontarkie 14,225]

I don't eat mustard so heck if I know!

[SAT 9,609]

If you go to McDonald's in Dixie land and get a burger, it comes preloaded with mustard....

I'm pretty sure.

You know, just like if you get a Tarklar toilet, it comes preloaded with ....

Ok, I'm not talking to you guys anymore....

Man I'm tired

[TBoneTX 45,299]

Mexico-trip report, si man:

Arose and actually got out of bed at Many:Many a.m., o'dark-Many man.

Readied ourself and got on road in timely fashion, amazing man.

Reached airport in time to park in garage with Many%-off coupon, whee man.

Flight arrived early, couple of minutes man.

We calculatedly sat near front and blew off first, calculation man.

We beelined ourself to rental-car counter, calculation man.

We got rental jalopy before Many customers aggregated behind us, payoff man.

We blew toward Mexico exit at Many mph, no tickets man.

We paid $2-&-a-half toll and drove in, bienvenidos a Mexico man.

We immediately turned to park on parallel-to-main-drag, calculation man.

It was Many degrees F. heading toward Many F., Many digits man.

It was Many:Many (2x2x2+1:2x2x2x2-1) a.m., perfect arrival time man.

We were conveniently around corner from our usual lab, payoff man.

We entered and said "Sangre de gringo," blood-of-gringo man.

Receptionist recognized us and said, "Senor T-B.!"

Receptionist handed us a urinalysis cup, pee man.

We noted, "Pipi de gringo," pee man.

We were the only customer and got in/out pronto, rapido man.

We walked up & down street looking for haircut place, cheaper than main drag man.

Someone directed us to one, helpful man.

Barberette read our prepared Spanish instructions, help from Mrs. T-B. she man.

Barberette gave us great cut, cut them all man.

We paid $Many ($2+2+1) instead of $Many ($2x2x2-1) on main drag, profit man.

We changed shirt & sweatband, first change man.

We lugged duffels of dress-loafers to find shoeshine guy, many around man.

Inventory = Many pairs, 2+2+2 black and 2+2+2 brown, almost all of ours man.

Indicated post-shine payment of $2 rather than of $Many ($2+1), standard price man.

Nearby guy hawking dental services remembered us from trips past, no ADD man.

Arrived at dentist's office exactly on time, across street from shoeshiner man.

Was greeted by knockout hygienist, oh our God gorgeous man.

Knockout indicated gross appearance of our teeth, accurate knockout she man.

Knockout scrubbed and scraped and eliminated grossness, hard work man.

Knockout then administered Zoom whitening treatment, our advance request man.

Knockout off-scraped previous bonding from two main front teeth, necessary man.

Dentist began rebonding, match new color man.

Job became "complicado," uh-oh man.

Gum above one tooth would not stop bleeding, mess up bonding man.

Estimated time for job had been Many minutes ((2x2x2x2x2+[2x2x2] min), OK man.

Actual time was double that, 2xMany min man.

We have never been in so much skeletal pain, maxillofacial and above man.

Pain endures to this writing, going to pop Many-mg bedtime ibuprofen man.

Job finally finished, full Many (2+1) hours in chair, backache man.

We set forth to eat breakfast at 2:Many p.m., slake hunger man.

We first picked up Sangre de Gringo results, drum roll man.

Sangre and Pipi almost as dead-nuts healthy as last time, live another day man.

Went to restaurant back on off-main street, recommended man.

We got Many (2+2) chicken enchiladas, rice, beans, salad & cheaps, ingest man.

Price = $Many-&-a-half ($2+2+1-&-a-half), quite fair man.

We then set forth to find doctor to flush our ears, wax man.

First place wanted $Many ($2x2x2x2x2x2+1), ridiculous man.

Second place wanted $Many ($2x2x2x2x2x2-2-2), ridiculous man.

Many'rd place* wanted $Many ($2x2x2x2x2+[2x2x2], deal man.

*immediately across from rental-jalopy parking place, convenient man

We contemplated but did not change shirt & sweatband, miscalculation man.

We walked Many (2+1) blocks to jewelry-repair guy, small shop man.

Guy there, worked on our wedding ring a great Many times, resizing man.

We did not want resizing, but instead to smooth a rough edge, smooth man.

Guy undertook job, we wait man.

We had forgotten cell phone in doctor's office, ADD we man.

We walked up & back, relief man.

We contemplated but did not change shirt & sweatband, miscalculation man.

Temperature now its full Many degrees, perspiration man.

Sweatband gave up ghost, drip man.

Shirt gave up ghost, no dry molecule remaining man.

Finally got cell signal, Many p.m. man.

Phoned Mrs. T-B., she man.

Mrs. T-B. frantic, she man.

Mrs. T-B. sure that we had been kidnapped by narcotraficantes, egad man*.

*despite Many (2x2x2+2) years of a great Many safe visits**, egad man

**including one 2 years ago with Mrs. T-B.***, ADD she man

***including one a year after Mrs. T-B.'s arrival, with Mrs. T-B., she man

Mrs. T-B. had opened our e-mails, desperate she man.

Mrs. T-B. phoned doctor to whom we hadn't gone, no clue man.

Mrs. T-B. phoned dental clinic, we had just left man.

We reassured Mrs. T-B. that all was well beyond well, safe as usual man.

Mrs. T-B. got sad puppy-dog voice, overly scared she man.

We reassured Mrs. T-B., good grief man.

Ring repaired in expert fashion for $Many ($2x2x2+2+tip), satisfaction man.

We sloshed back to rental jalopy, sweat pouring man.

We changed shirt & sweatband, those immediately soaked too man.

We drove around to busy main street, finally man.

We parked right in front of recommended "cheap" pharmacy, try it man.

Prices not dramatically lower than usual pharmacies, but OK man.

Place was air-conditioned, crucial man.

Pharmacist spoke fluent English, plus man.

We bought $Many ($[2+1]01.Many) in stock-up medicines, inventory man.

Boon was very lengthy expiration dates, good for stock-up man.

We went directly across street to jewelry store, best in town man.

We bought Mrs. T-B. a ring as she'd requested, request she man.

Silver (0.Many2Many) ring was $Many ($2x2x2x2+[2x2x2]+1), deal man.

It was Many (2+2) p.m. and we were quite weary, sweating again too man.

We drove rental jalopy to POE, line of Many cars already man.

Reached no-nonsense CBP agent in about Many (2x2x2x2-1) minutes, CBP man.

Agent questioned our doings and purchases, suspicious man.

We explained medical/dental/lab/shoeshine reasons, forthcoming man.

Agent suspiciously asked if we had bought Tramadol or Xanax, frowned-upon man.

We disclaimed this, truthful man.

Agent asked us to pop the trunk, trunk-pop man.

We saw agent root around and look at our luggage-tag, inspect man.

Agent returned to ask if we were married to "Susan," fake she man.

We said, "If we are, then our REAL wife will wring our neck, si man!", si man.

Smiling agent asked how many shoes we'd brought, curious man.

We said, "Many pairs -- Many black & Many brown, almost all man!"

Agent waved us through, POE man.

Helpful Hertz NeverLost device greased our way back to town, GPS man.

We stopped at big mall, hadn't been there in ages man.

We wandered wearily and ended up at food court, contemplate ingest man.

Chick-fil-A replaced by something else, end of traditional end-trip era man.

We ordered Mexican plate from Mexican place, be consistent man.

Two chicken enchiladas, rice, runny beans just <$Many (<$2x2x2+1), sigh man.

We resigned ourselves to a return to Gringo prices, USA! USA! USA! man.

We gassed rental jalopy, only Many (2x2x2x2x2x2-2-2) miles driven man.

We headed for airport, about that time man.

We reorganized our checked bags, 2 free on Southwest man.

We checked in, almost no one else in airport man.

We went through TSA checkpoint, TSA polite for once man.

CBP hanging out there, catch 'em man.

We confirmed that they were verifying foreign travelers' status, confirm man.

They agreed with us that any helpful documentation speeds processing, man.

Will post this in "Working & Traveling" forum man.

Flight left 2 min early and arrived Many (2x2x2+2+2) min early, nice man.

Bags (checked and under eyes) promptly present, collect and carry man.

Parking-shuttle right there, man.

Arrived at casa before Many (2x2x2x+2) p.m., early man.

Mrs. T-B. asleep, traumatic day for she man.

Mrs. T-B. had NOT brought in newspapers as exhorted, both wet ADD she man.

Cat was locked outside on back patio, ADD she man.

Still, successful trip with all goals accomplished man.

Cat prep (including Heap Strong mouth-medicine) zzz man.

Mornin', Commie- and other babes with +1 inventories!

Edited August 20, 2015 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,299]

1. Welcome back!

2. I used to love eat the 2+2er pounder

1. Gracias, D ma'am.

2. Love affair with correct comestible precised, see D ma'am.

1. I was gonna say, what are you doing here, there's no Wi-Fi in Mexico.....

2. And, they fixed your dentures that fast?

1. Same-day trip, too cheap to overnight as would have been more sensible man.

2. See report, see man.

I don't eat mustard so heck if I know!

Ontarklar really cuts the mustard, cut it D ma'am!

[SAT 9,609]

Mexico-trip report, si man:

I'm glad that the Affordable Health Care Act made health care so affordable for Americans......

[Ontarkie 14,225]

If you go to McDonald's in Dixie land and get a burger, it comes preloaded with mustard....

I'm pretty sure.

You know, just like if you get a Tarklar toilet, it comes preloaded with ######....

Ok, I'm not talking to you guys anymore....

Man I'm tired

Don't all burgers come out with everything on it? I always order a burger with nothing on it but cheese and meat! Yes you need to tell them that you want nothing but cheese and meat!!

[SAT 9,609]

na, in the northeast, they only put ketchup on it. no mustard.

[Ontarkie 14,225]

Oh interesting! They would put it on back home too.

I don't trust ppl so I put my own ketchup on it.

[SAT 9,609]

picky.....

[Ontarkie 14,225]

[SAT 9,609]

Got sidewalk concrete looked at for my storefront, and priced. 7 dollars a square foot including permits. Awesome!

(I shook down my Taliban friend).

these are Tarklar prices!