The P1nk Ranter, A Shot In The Darklar

[SAT 9,609]

alas, I'm a flat-lander - mountainous regions turn me into a mindless, undriving, slobbering idiot. I never understood this. Jumping outta planes, no prob. climbing UP into stuff, no problem.

3 sets of bolos work also. you can make em, quickly.

you goof-tard - i've a house krewe AND I'm in school plus I gots projects not-garden related. #TimeManagement !

1- I was in the Poconos, I drove up there, you numb nut....went to great wolf, they made me an offer I can't refuse because of the fire alarm last time. with tiffs thuggy friends.

2- (what was 2?)

Ah, so Darklar, Tarklar, and I were in Darklars house. Darklar went upstairs and started to go to the toilet, he said "was I going to the toilet or was I done?"

Tarklar said "I'll come upstairs and I'll figure it out"

Half way up the stairs, Tarklar said "was I going up, or coming down?"

Me, I was in the kitchen, I knock on the table, I said "knock on wood I'm not as bad as you 2 old geezers"

Then I said "Darklar, someone is at your door"

Edited August 31, 2015 by SAT

[SAT 9,609]

and some pork products.

See I told you guys he met a porker!

[Darnell 8,478]

wait - is it time for yet another episode of the Stark/Dark and Tark comic? eeek.. ok - i'll play along, until I read another overnight report.

See I told you guys he met a porker!

goof-tard - i told you many times - my house krewe keeps me quite busy.

[SAT 9,609]

Porker....

[SAT 9,609]

Went to the outlet mall. Tiff got more stuff, baby stuff, kid stuff, tiff stuff....

I got a shirt...

[SAT 9,609]

man, can't a man have some vacation dinner around here without getting disturbed?.....

[SAT 9,609]

Stretch has some new bff and doesn't have to talk to us anymore....

[Ontarkie 14,228]

No was just really busy. Then I had to go shopping. Seems food tends to run out after a few weeks

[SAT 9,609]

Just go to Costco and get 500 rotisserie chicken for 5 bucks each, that'll last you a year....

[Ontarkie 14,228]

Are you nuts, that would only last the one boy a year if I'm lucky! He loves his chicken, and at 6'5 he can pack it away.

[Ontarkie 14,228]

We really don't spend a lot on food compared to some ppl I know. I don't buy many things that are premade and I don't buy name brands for most things.

What are you doing still up anyway??

[TBoneTX 45,319]

Do you have holes in your socks?

Oh, darn it, Ontarklar D ma'am!

I have a belt like that. But when all you need is a little screwdriver

On the basis of Steveklar's posts, he gets belted often, hic man.

okies! Will go look!

You're traveling to see natives of the state due west of you, huh D ma'am?

[TBoneTX 45,319]

pig out on [...] some pork products.

This makes sense, D man.

Darklar went upstairs and started to go to the toilet

Tarklar said "I'll come upstairs and personally install your brand-new pre-owned toilet seat, si man"

Scenario corrected, see man.

at Many'Many he can pack it away.

Size of offspring corrected, D ma'am.

[TBoneTX 45,319]

Monday rental-casa-drama report, hold breath and exhale man:

Last day to prepare rental casa, doable but tense man.

Awoke after Heap Strong Medicine, expecting contractor at "first hour," 2x2x2 a.m. man.

No call from contractor till after "first hour," where is he man.

At Many (2x2x2+2) a.m., Mrs. T-B. calls contractor, she man.

Contractor says, "I was there, fixed it, and can't come back, si and no man."

Contractor was to have waited for our LIST of tasks, grrr man.

We, Mrs. T-B., & Mini-B. beat it out to rental casa, do-it-ourselves man.

We go to Sears Hardware and find needed products at half-off or more, whee man.

We return to regular casa to retrieve other stuff, obey Mrs. T-B. we man.

We go again to Sears Hardware to buy other needed stuff, expense man.

We return to r-casa, breathless man.

Mrs. T-B. flies into action, she man.

Calls fall-back contractor, she man.

Contractor available at 1 p.m., whee man!

Mrs. T-B. calls carpet guy for redo of pet-odor section, she man.

Carpet guy an hour late, grrr man.

We take Mini-B. to Burger King, French fries with ketchup ingest wee man.

We and Mini-B. have marvelous pig-out session, enjoy man.

We take large salad to Mrs. T-B. at 1:Many p.m., starving she man.

All contractors there, dodge each other man.

Mrs. T-B. directing contractors in intense Spanish, obey she man.

Mrs. T-B. stands at garage shelf to eat salad, ingest man.

Contractors paint much, install towel bars, and install smoke-detectors, important man.

Contractors finish at Many p.m., 2 hours man.

Mrs. T-B. reconfirms caucus with maid, last action man.

We shepherd & distract Mini-B., curious wee man.

We return to regular casa at half-past-Many p.m., exhausted man.

We are allowed a nap, we and miu zzz man.

We are awakened by Mrs. T-B.: "Maid there in Many minutes, wake up man!"

Mrs. T-B. goes in T-B.-mobile to instruct maid, obey she man.

This = first driving by Mrs. T-B. since surgery, uh-oh she man.

Mrs. T-B. returns undamaged, intact she man.

We go out for errands in Mrs.-T-B.-mobile, air in tyres etc. man.

On instruction, we buy supermarket roasted chicken, obey she man.

We return to find that brood has already eaten, ingested already man.

We sit with supermarket chicken and eat pieces with a fork, ingest bachelorlike man.

At half-past-Many (2x2x2+1) p.m., all go to r-casa, we & she & wee man.

Maid finished absolutely stellar job, proficient she man.

We do final retrieval of personal articles, cleanout we man.

We return to casa, we and she and wee man.

We remember need to supply toilet paper, headsmack man.

We fulfill same and have trouble locking casa in dark, blind we man.

We return hot and exhausted, had quite enough man.

Mrs. T-B. gives us a high-Many, 2+2+1 she man.

R-casa is prepared, whee man.

Renters move in tomorrow, just in time man.

Two pre-owned toilet seats count toward our weekly quota, head-start man.

Cat drops wrapper at our feet at 1 a.m., routine miu man.

We play Wrappers for nearly half an hour, eager miu man.

We prepare to return to office tomorrow, 2+2 days away man.

It is nearly Many a.m., truncated zzz AGAIN man.

Cat prep zzz man.

Mornin', Commie- and other babes with unallocated +1 inventories!

[SAT 9,609]

What are you doing still up anyway??

I was conking out......