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Problem with sister in law

By moelarrycheese in Bringing Family Members of Permanent Residents to America

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moelarrycheese Explorer

moelarrycheese   0

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Peru
 Timeline
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My sister in law wrote an email to my wife saying that she wants to send her 11-year old daughter to the US to go to school and live with us. She says that since her daughter has no respect for her and misbehaves all the time, she will do better here. This kid is not being properly cared for by her mother, who is divorced, works full time, but never spends any time with the child and goes out all the time with friends every evening. The kid is left at home with the grandmother, who is rather frail. The kid does not do what she's supposed to , uses foul language constantly, does violence to the grandmother and vandalism to the house, and her mother does nothing about it. I think she doesn't want the child and is trying to see if she can dump her off on someone else. We are the obvious targets for this plot. I already know it's impossible for this kid to get a visa, and also impossible to attend public primary school in the US. Has anyone had an experience with in-laws such as this, and how did you handle it? I've already told my wife that I don't agree with this, but I was very diplomatic (obviously) as I know I don't have to worry it will ever happen-- there is simply no visa available for this situation.

Or, am I wrong? Anyone?

making it look easy since::::April, 2005::::

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Augustajim Collaborator

Augustajim   0

Posted
Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Vietnam
 Timeline
Posted

This is only me talking. I would simply say,"no, this is not even open for discussion" but that is me. I made sure Tao was comepletely comfortable with the prospect of no children. Bet I get in trouble with everyone for this one.

Jim and Nhi

10-2-2008 Interview in Vietnam

9-1-2008 abandoned K3

7-11-08 Home from Vietnam

7-04-2008 Cleared NVC

6-26-08 NOA2 for I-129F and I-130

6-25-08 Congressional Expediting Approved

6-23-08 Return to Vietnam for visit

4-30-08 NOA1 I-130

4-17-08 NOA1 I-129F

4-10-08 I-129F mailed

3-26-08 Married in Vietnam

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john_and_marlene Mentor

john_and_marlene   162

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

There's no immigrant visa petition for nieces.

05/16/2005 I-129F Sent

05/28/2005 I-129F NOA1

06/21/2005 I-129F NOA2

07/18/2005 Consulate Received package from NVC

11/09/2005 Medical

11/16/2005 Interview APPROVED

12/05/2005 Visa received

12/07/2005 POE Minneapolis

12/17/2005 Wedding

12/20/2005 Applied for SSN

01/14/2005 SSN received in the mail

02/03/2006 AOS sent (Did not apply for EAD or AP)

02/09/2006 NOA

02/16/2006 Case status Online

05/01/2006 Biometrics Appt.

07/12/2006 AOS Interview APPROVED

07/24/2006 GC arrived

05/02/2007 Driver's License - Passed Road Test!

05/27/2008 Lifting of Conditions sent (TSC > VSC)

06/03/2008 Check Cleared

07/08/2008 INFOPASS (I-551 stamp)

07/08/2008 Driver's License renewed

04/20/2009 Lifting of Conditions approved

04/28/2009 Card received in the mail

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Boiler Grand Master

Boiler   45,516

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
 Timeline
Posted

Tell her that she needs to get her Daughter a F1 Student Visa, send her the link for the Consulate Web site so she can see what she needs to do. That should keep her busy for a long time, or realise the futiliity.

You can go to school in the US if you are here illegally, and it would be reasonable to assume she knows this.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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brnidokiegurl Grand Master

brnidokiegurl   0

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Morocco
 Timeline
Posted

She is prob acting out to get the mothers attention. The mother should be the one to correct this, have a forceful talk with her and let her know, then if nothing changes or the child starts doing more harmful or dangerous, have the authorities check her welfare. STRONG, yes but if the activities are not put in line now this child has no good future ahead of her.

TIMELINE

04/04/2007 K1 Interview from H...w/the devil herself

06/12/2007 Rec'd Notification Case Now Back In Calif. only to expire

-------------

11/20/2007 Married in Morocco

02/23/2008 Mailed CR1 application today

03/08/2008 NOA1 Notice Recd (notice date 3/4/08)

08/26/2008 File transfered fr Vermont to Calif

10/14/2008 APPROVALLLLLLLLLLLL

10/20/2008 Recd hard copy NOA2

10/20/2008 NVC Recd case

11/21/2008 CASE COMPLETE

01/15/2009 INTERVIEW

01/16/2009 VISA IN HAND

01/31/2009 ARRIVED OKC

BE WHO YOU ARE AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL, BECAUSE THOSE WHO MIND DONT MATTER AND THOSE WHO MATTER DONT MIND

YOU CANT CHANGE THE PAST BUT YOU CAN RUIN THE PRESENT BY WORRYING OVER THE FUTURE

TRIP.... OVER LOVE, AND YOU CAN GET UP

FALL.... IN LOVE, AND YOU FALL FOREVER

I DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, JUST NOT THE ABILITY

LIKE THE MEASLES, LOVE IS MOST DANGEROUS WHEN IT COMES LATER IN LIFE

LIFE IS NOT THE WAY ITS SUPPOSED TO BE, ITS THE WAY IT IS

I MAY NOT BE WHERE I WANT TO BE BUT IM SURE NOT WHERE I WAS

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Ban Hammer Grand Master

Ban Hammer   13,340

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
 Timeline
Posted
There's no immigrant visa petition for nieces.

not even the BRATTY-1 visa? :P

* ~ * Charles * ~ *
 

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

 

USE THE REPORT BUTTON INSTEAD OF MESSAGING A MODERATOR!

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SoL. Experienced

SoL.   0

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Netherlands
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Posted

This kid needs mom's TLC! She's screaming for it, sending all kinds of signals. :help:

IMO, this is a problem that the mother needs to solve, she should take care of her own child. Not trying to be mean here, but I think that she's trying to get an easy way out and that won't improve the girl's behaviour, it will get worst.

You may need to talk to your wife and try to explain to her that sending the kid to live with you is not a solution for improving this kid's behaviour, and that a miracle won't happen because she moves to the US...

Good luck! (F)

Our AOS Journey

July 18, 07: AOS/EAD sent to Chicago

Aug 03, 07: Received Biometrics appt. letter

Aug 23, 07: Biometrics

Aug 30, 07: Transfer to CSC letter dated 8/27

Sept 19, 07: EAD Approval email

Sept 29, 07: EAD card Received

Oct 09, 07: AOS Approved

Oct 13, 07: Green Card in hand

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  • 2 months later...
leslie275 Rookie

leslie275   0

Posted
Filed: K-3 Visa Timeline
Posted

WHAT THE MOTHER NEEDS IS A SLAP IN THE FACE! SHE NEEDS TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND GET HER ACT TOGETHER. YOU CANT BLAME THE CHILD FOR THE LACK OF LOVE, SUPPORT AND SO ON. ITS APPARENT THAT THE CHILD WANTS ATTENTION, AND IS LASHING OUT DUE TO THE LACK OF ATTENTION SHE IS NOT RECEIVING. AMERICANS SOMETIMES THINK DIFFERENTLY THAN FOREIGNERS. WE FOR THE MOST PART STICK OUR OWN PARENTS IN "RETIREMENT HOMES" DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT THEY WILL BE TAKING ON A CHILD? THIS ISNT BRAD AND ANGELINA HERE...........

still waiting for interview......

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leslie275 Rookie

leslie275   0

Posted
Filed: K-3 Visa Timeline
Posted

WHY EVEN POST THIS IF YOUR INTENTION WAS AND IS NOT TO HELP THAT CHILD. IF SO, WHY WOULD YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT ADVICE STRANGERS ON THIS FORUM GIVE YOU? THE ONLY OPINION THAT MATTERS IS YOURS AND YOUR WIFES ONLY. THIS ISNT LIKE BUYING A FREAKING VEHICLE. YOUR TALKING ABOUT A PERSONS LIFE. MAYBE YOU NEED TO GO ON DR. PHILL!

still waiting for interview......

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milimelo Veteran

milimelo   4,479

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Bosnia-Herzegovina
 Timeline
Posted
WHY EVEN POST THIS IF YOUR INTENTION WAS AND IS NOT TO HELP THAT CHILD. IF SO, WHY WOULD YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT ADVICE STRANGERS ON THIS FORUM GIVE YOU? THE ONLY OPINION THAT MATTERS IS YOURS AND YOUR WIFES ONLY. THIS ISNT LIKE BUYING A FREAKING VEHICLE. YOUR TALKING ABOUT A PERSONS LIFE. MAYBE YOU NEED TO GO ON DR. PHILL!

First of all, you need to learn to turn the caps OFF! Secondly, the OP has a legitimate concern and he wanted to know what the options are. Simply put, he can't bring the kid over even if he wanted. It is up to the kid's mother to raise her child properly, without trying to pass her off to her sister so the kid would behave better - chances are she wouldn't behave any better.

And lastly, if you're going to bash OP, maybe you should not be on the forum.

Enough said.

ROC 2009
Naturalization 2010

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Aymerlu Mentor

Aymerlu   3

Posted
Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Egypt
 Timeline
Posted
WHY EVEN POST THIS IF YOUR INTENTION WAS AND IS NOT TO HELP THAT CHILD. IF SO, WHY WOULD YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT ADVICE STRANGERS ON THIS FORUM GIVE YOU? THE ONLY OPINION THAT MATTERS IS YOURS AND YOUR WIFES ONLY. THIS ISNT LIKE BUYING A FREAKING VEHICLE. YOUR TALKING ABOUT A PERSONS LIFE. MAYBE YOU NEED TO GO ON DR. PHILL!

First of all, you need to learn to turn the caps OFF! Secondly, the OP has a legitimate concern and he wanted to know what the options are. Simply put, he can't bring the kid over even if he wanted. It is up to the kid's mother to raise her child properly, without trying to pass her off to her sister so the kid would behave better - chances are she wouldn't behave any better.

And lastly, if you're going to bash OP, maybe you should not be on the forum.

Enough said.

:thumbs:

I personally took care of my nephew for about a year a few years ago. Kids/teenagers go through a lot of changes that they themselves do not understand and will act out for various reasons. I don't feel I need to tell why my nephew was with me since that's my concern. What I will say is that while with me his behavior was completely different.....for the better. I know all cases are different. I'm also the one that offered for my nephew to come live with me, no one asked me. Dr. Phil was not involved and everything turned out great. :star:

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moelarrycheese Explorer

moelarrycheese   0

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Peru
 Timeline
  • Author
Posted

Lesley, i am thinking of my own potential problem. I am not responsible for someone else's kids, sister in law or not. Although, it would be advantageous to be as diplomatic as possible when family is concerned. It's nice to know I won't have to worry about this issue, because there is no way the kid can ever get a visa to come here.

I never had any intention of helping the child. I was only interested in covering my own a**

making it look easy since::::April, 2005::::

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*JG* Grand Master

*JG*   2

Posted
Filed: Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted

This is sort of a sore issue with me.....I am sick and tired of parents thinking the answer to any problem is to send their kids away. My Mil always threatens the kids with sending them away if they don't behave. And, my SIL, who only lives with 2 of her 5 kids, just sent her 2 youngest to Jamaica so she can find a job.

Deal with your kids, people, is what I want to tell them!!!!

Life's just a crazy ride on a run away train

You can't go back for what you've missed

So make it count, hold on tight find a way to make it right

You only get one trip

So make it good, make it last 'cause it all flies by so fast

You only get one trip

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JenT Experienced

JenT   0

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Timeline
Posted

Whoa... this is three months old. Why bump it?

8-30-05 Met David at a restaurant in Germany

3-28-06 David 'officially' proposed

4-26-06 I-129F mailed

9-25-06 Interview: APPROVED!

10-16-06 Flt to US, POE Detroit

11-5-06 Married

7-2-07 Green card received

9-12-08 Filed for divorce

12-5-08 Court hearing - divorce final

A great marriage is not when the "perfect couple" comes together.

It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

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chispas Proficient

chispas   0

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Timeline
Posted
This is sort of a sore issue with me.....I am sick and tired of parents thinking the answer to any problem is to send their kids away. My Mil always threatens the kids with sending them away if they don't behave. And, my SIL, who only lives with 2 of her 5 kids, just sent her 2 youngest to Jamaica so she can find a job.

Deal with your kids, people, is what I want to tell them!!!!

Well said ! :thumbs:

The longer it takes to introduce yourself the less you've actually accomplished

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