Parental Responsibility Info

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Hopefully i have full custody and only need to get the notarised consent form from the father of the eldest and he is close by so i know i have no problems there.

I know the rules and regulations are there for a reason but i hate the idea that someone who doesnt bother with their children can ruin your families chance of happiness!!!!

sam xxx

It really sucks

Fingers crossed you DID get full custody, otherwise you'll have to hope your kid's dad will agree to sign the form

And if he does, let's hope the notary you get isn't as bad as mine!!!

If you haven't got full custody and he won't sign, the only option I can see is going to court again....Which will be horrible for you

[samwatts 0]

It really sucks

Fingers crossed you DID get full custody, otherwise you'll have to hope your kid's dad will agree to sign the form

And if he does, let's hope the notary you get isn't as bad as mine!!!

If you haven't got full custody and he won't sign, the only option I can see is going to court again....Which will be horrible for you

Solicitor already warned what it mite be like going to court as he said it wouldnt be as straight forward as i mite think, Told me we would be attending a High Court where they all wear the wigs!!! As they then take on the role as the father and i have to convince them that my children will be better living in texas.

Its obvious to everyone i know that they, and i will, be but its just annoying that you have to go through all this wen its obvious that you have taken into consideraton what is going to be best for your children

Im sorry im just having a moan

I need a hug off my man

[Dawny&Tommy 0]

I'm quite worried about this myself now. My daughter hasn't had any contact with her dad for over 5 and a half years, she will be 15 in July. I managed to get his phone number at the end of last year, and called him to see if he'd like to know how she was. He didn't even let me speak, didnt ask how she was. I do have an old letter from my solicitor from 1994, stating, that because we were never married, I had sole parental responsibilty, his name isn't on her BC or anything either. I decided last weekend to call him and ask him if he would give me written consent, he said he would "when he had time" but i KNOW for a fact he will NOT get it notarised because it will cost him money. Im so worried now and don't know what to do.

Dawn.

Well after my daughters father said he would consent etc. I didn't hear anything back. I called him a few days ago and asked him again "Why should I? Get stuffed" was his reply and he just hung up. He will not answer the phone anymore. No idea what to do now

Dawn

[samwatts 0]

Well after my daughters father said he would consent etc. I didn't hear anything back. I called him a few days ago and asked him again "Why should I? Get stuffed" was his reply and he just hung up. He will not answer the phone anymore. No idea what to do now

Dawn

OMG! think u need to get in touch with embassy again or maybe your solicitor and see what can be done.

I am at the moment waitin to see if the father of my 2 youngest children will sign his form again, but this time take the time to go get it notarised. I have a feeling i may have the same kind of response as you did.

But i do, unfortunatley, know of one way of getting him to do it if he refuses at the start. and that is to pay him to do it and obviously pay the notary too. This whole process is already costin alot of money but at the moment i just want to b with Travis and im willing to do just about anything

Very unfare but would this maybe be an option for gettin your ex to co-operate?

[Dawny&Tommy 0]

Probably, if i had the money heh.

Dawn.

[samwatts 0]

Probably, if i had the money heh.

Dawn.

I know wot u mean, ive been payin off for my dress (think i shouldve picked a cheaper one now lol) my kids wedding clothes and all other little things as well as saving for medical costs and plane tickets and im on income support!!! Travis has had to get a place for us to live furnish it and start saving for the wedding!!

Luckily ive been claiming back my bank charges and it is starting to pay off at last and also selling off things on ebay lol!

Just car tax and MOT due at end of the month and kids hepb injections and doctors letter too, then mayb i have a week or two without having to give someone all the money in my bank

But it will all be worth it in the end, and if that means cutting back a little bit more to make our dreams come true then so be it.

sam xxx

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Probably, if i had the money heh.

Dawn.

Oh noooooo......As far as I see it, you need to look at getting custody, which by his attitude would probably be pretty easy (at a guess).

That's the only way I can see it working

Don't answer me if you find it intrusive, but does he pay child support??

If he DOESN'T, you could ring him up and basically say that if he doesn;t wish to sign, you'll be forced to take him to court and while you're there, you will also be seeking a judgement for maintenance.....

My heart goes out to you, it's just so damn unfair....

I was told at the embassy that the letter is a requirement, so seems as if you HAVE to get it

[samwatts 0]

Probably, if i had the money heh.

Dawn.

Oh noooooo......As far as I see it, you need to look at getting custody, which by his attitude would probably be pretty easy (at a guess).

That's the only way I can see it working

Don't answer me if you find it intrusive, but does he pay child support??

If he DOESN'T, you could ring him up and basically say that if he doesn;t wish to sign, you'll be forced to take him to court and while you're there, you will also be seeking a judgement for maintenance.....

My heart goes out to you, it's just so damn unfair....

I was told at the embassy that the letter is a requirement, so seems as if you HAVE to get it

Think i mite try the threat of child support myself it could save me some money if it scares him enough!! lol

It would definetly be the quickest way for you to get it all sorted Dawn as getting custody could take a while as you have to state to court why you are going for it and then you have to tell them bout moving to america which according to my solicitor is when it can start getting very difficult.

sam xxx

[Dawny&Tommy 0]

I have a residency order, which is basically custody. He does have parental responsibility. We split up in 1994 when my daughter was 2. I moved to the Isle of man 6 years ago, the year I moved here, i paid for my daughter to go and spend christmas with him. Since that visit, he moved/changed his phone number and hasnt spoken to, or seen my daughter since. She was 9 then and is almost 15 now.

Was only the end of last year that I happened to get his phone number.

He has never paid any child support since we split, we were never married either.

I just have a really bad feeling about it all.

Dawn.

Edited June 3, 2007 by Dawny&Tommy

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

I have a residency order, which is basically custody. He does have parental responsibility. We split up in 1994 when my daughter was 2. I moved to the Isle of man 6 years ago, the year I moved here, i paid for my daughter to go and spend christmas with him. Since that visit, he moved/changed his phone number and hasnt spoken to, or seen my daughter since. She was 9 then and is almost 15 now.

Was only the end of last year that I happened to get his phone number.

He has never paid any child support since we split, we were never married either.

I just have a really bad feeling about it all.

Dawn.

In that case, I think saying to him that if he doesn't sign, you will be forced to take him to court may very well work. And if you are forced to do that, you might as well ask for maintenance with a view to requesting it backdated.

That will hopefully do the trick.

Edited June 3, 2007 by AlienUKGirl

[Mags 112]

I have a residency order, which is basically custody. He does have parental responsibility. We split up in 1994 when my daughter was 2. I moved to the Isle of man 6 years ago, the year I moved here, i paid for my daughter to go and spend christmas with him. Since that visit, he moved/changed his phone number and hasnt spoken to, or seen my daughter since. She was 9 then and is almost 15 now.

Was only the end of last year that I happened to get his phone number.

He has never paid any child support since we split, we were never married either.

I just have a really bad feeling about it all.

Dawn.

Considering that he doesn't pay child support AND hasn't seen your daughter for 6 years I think you MAY be able to get around this. You have a residency order already, which gives you custody. If you could go back to a solicitors and get them to write a letter outlining the fact that your child's father refuses contact, doesn't pay a penny towards upkeep AND hasn't seen her for 6 years, also adding in info about the custody arrangements, that could be enough.

However, if I was you, I'd contact the embassy with ALL of this information and see what they say. They are the only ones who can tell you what you need, none of us here can really give you a proper answer and this is the only way you will know anything for definite. We can all guess and tell you what they have told us for OUR particular circumstances but, as we all know, every case is a little different.

I can't see how you can be expected to get a letter of consent from him when you don't even know where he is AND he told you to get stuffed over the phone. Contact the Embassy again, see what they say.

Edited June 3, 2007 by mags

[Dawny&Tommy 0]

Hiya,

Well, I did finally get a letter of consent from my daughters father. My daughters half brother pursuaded him to write one. Only thing is, it isn't Notarised, and he flatly refuses to do it. Now I just don't know what i'm supposed to do with it.

These things are here to test us indeed!

Dawn

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Hiya,

Well, I did finally get a letter of consent from my daughters father. My daughters half brother pursuaded him to write one. Only thing is, it isn't Notarised, and he flatly refuses to do it. Now I just don't know what i'm supposed to do with it.

These things are here to test us indeed!

Dawn

At least you have SOMETHING....All you can do is try and see if they will accept it, you may be lucky.

If they don't, only option I can see is going to court unfortunately

[Mags 112]

Hiya,

Well, I did finally get a letter of consent from my daughters father. My daughters half brother pursuaded him to write one. Only thing is, it isn't Notarised, and he flatly refuses to do it. Now I just don't know what i'm supposed to do with it.

These things are here to test us indeed!

Dawn

I know that they HAVE accepted un-notarised stuff in the past. You have extenuating circumstances too so things may be just fine. Try not to worry!

[chloe 1]

Hiya,

Well, I did finally get a letter of consent from my daughters father. My daughters half brother pursuaded him to write one. Only thing is, it isn't Notarised, and he flatly refuses to do it. Now I just don't know what i'm supposed to do with it.

These things are here to test us indeed!

Dawn

I know that they HAVE accepted un-notarised stuff in the past. You have extenuating circumstances too so things may be just fine. Try not to worry!

Just my 2 p's worth, from what I was told when I enquired about the same stuff.

When I consulted my lawyer last year, they told me to look into the Hague Convention.

Basically if a parent with parental responsibility, refuses to give consent, you must apply to court for 'Permission to Remove' the child from the country.

the court will look at whats in the best interests of the child etc.

Taking the child abroad without that consent is deemed abduction in their eyes.

The father could then go to court in order to return the child to the Uk, in order for a court to decide where the child should reside.

He can only do this within the first year , as after 1 year the child comes under US jurisdiction (or something like that!!)

Extreme, I know, but quite interesting..

In my case, my daughters father didnt have PR, so I sent a solicitors letter stating that fact and my visas were issued.

Good luck to everyone going through this..

I shed many tears of frustration when it was my time, all the best to everyone

x