Did she just want a green card? Money?

[onye uwaoma 131]

Congratulations!!! You dodged a bullet. I don't know you but I feel so proud of you just as if you were my family. Listen young, smart man, just the mere fact that she proposed to you at one point to get in a sham marriage is definitely a red flag. I think that you made a wise/executive decision in ending the relationship. Going by what you posted it is evident that the young lady is somewhat of a opportunist. Now I'm not sure if I'm answering all of your questions but point blank period, judging from what I've read, yes I do believe she is out to get a green card. Once again congratulations on getting out of dodge. Just my opinion people.

I feel proud of people like the op who refused to allow their heart control their head... Ienjoy your comment...

[Darnell 8,478]

...also, though I am not the moderator, I am strongly recommending an appropriate sanction that qualifies your advocacy for marriage fraud for green card.

oh wow - did you find the report button? good for you !

[subwayguy 100]

yes

possibly

yes

[onye uwaoma 131]

oh wow - did you find the report button? good for you !

Oh no! I didn't find the report button otherwise I wouldn't have be recommending the post for sanctioning in the forum here... Everyone is entitled to his or her own personal opinion, but coming out in a public forum like this and blatantly advocates marriage for green card is not only illigal but also immoral!

[Darnell 8,478]

shucks. come back on a PC, when you have time, you'll see the report button (plus a tonne of other thingies, like the link to make your official VJ timeline, over at

http://www.visajourney.com/timeline/profile.php?id=139660 )

[rlogan 2,036]

I met this girl who was robbing an old lady and beating her senseless. She asked me if I wanted to kick the old lady in the teeth and share some of the loot. I said no, I am a man of such high moral and legal character that I wasn't going to rob and murder this old lady with her.

But she seemed like just the kind of girl you would want to marry so I dated her for a couple of years until she stole my car to knock over a liquor store. That car was given to me by my parents. So despite being such a wonderful girl I just couldn't conscience her stealing something my parents gave me.

This is hard for me because she seemed so promising when I first met her, and it is only now that I have begun to doubt her character. Have I been too hasty here?

[Boiler 45,575]

I met this girl who was robbing an old lady and beating her senseless. She asked me if I wanted to kick the old lady in the teeth and share some of the loot. I said no, I am a man of such high moral and legal character that I wasn't going to rob and murder this old lady with her.

But she seemed like just the kind of girl you would want to marry so I dated her for a couple of years until she stole my car to knock over a liquor store. That car was given to me by my parents. So despite being such a wonderful girl I just couldn't conscience her stealing something my parents gave me.

This is hard for me because she seemed so promising when I first met her, and it is only now that I have begun to doubt her character. Have I been too hasty here?

Yes

Does she also want a Green Card?

[General Buhari 46]

Congratulations!!! You dodged a bullet. I don't know you but I feel so proud of you just as if you were my family. Listen young, smart man, just the mere fact that she proposed to you at one point to get in a sham marriage is definitely a red flag. I think that you made a wise/executive decision in ending the relationship. Going by what you posted it is evident that the young lady is somewhat of a opportunist. Now I'm not sure if I'm answering all of your questions but point blank period, judging from what I've read, yes I do believe she is out to get a green card. Once again congratulations on getting out of dodge. Just my opinion people.

Truer words have never been posted.

Bravo.

[bappi48 4]

1. 100% YES
2. Probably
3. 100% Right

[Tom1440 12]

What does that have to do with what I said? If your parents want to give you and only you money, they can do so. You don't need a pre-nup for that.

Secondly, you must be young. I do tell my husband all day long how to spend his money, because I am in charge of paying bills, working the credit cards, and the general finances of the household. Because, you know, people get married to achieve somethign together, not to have separate accounts and "your money, my money" all day long. What if one spouse makes 100,000 and the other is a housewife/husband? The one that works gets to leave on an exotic vacation, while the other one stays home?

See, I am a California resident and am aware of California community property laws. Let's say hypothetically that I did marry this girl and say this property I hold is my dad's cash, and I decided to purchase a house for my dad with HIS money in my name while married. Generally, separate property remains separate after marriage. So the cash (separate property) would remain "my" separate property if I didn't buy a house. HOWEVER, property acquired after marriage is community property. Guess what? The house for my dad with HIS MONEY becomes marital property along with the equity in it. Why? Because in California, after marriage generally all income is community income. So the income that I or "we" contribute would constitute a commingling of finances. Hence giving her a claim against my dad's money/house in the event of a divorce. A prenup can stipulate that the house purchased after marriage with the separate property will remain separate property and not become community property. This would ensure that IF there was a divorce, she would not force me to buyout the house and my dad would have a place to live. See how a prenup would help?

In the hypothetical above, the only other option is if she signs a quit-claim deed. Would she sign it? Who knows. Can I form a business entity to hold the property? Yes, but that will still be community property since the business interest was acquired during marriage. Even if I formed the entity before marriage, any appreciation, gains, income, etc. will be community.

So what does that have to do with what you said? You stated in part, "The goods belong to you and your family, and she is to be a part of that family." My point is, just because she would be a part of the family in marriage does not mean she is entitled to anything. I surely am not. I am simply protecting my family's assets in which they have entrusted me with. If an opportunity arises in the economy where the assets give greater value in another form (i.e. stocks, bonds, real estate, etc.), the asset should be protected and maintain its character as separate property under California laws. I see that you are from Minnesota, which is not a community property state so your marital property laws are different.

I'm sure you can't wrap your head around the concept and that's fine. You don't believe in prenups and that's fine too. But I believe in them and see it as a contingency. Do you not get life insurance because you don't want to die? Aside from being required, would you not buy health insurance because you don't want to get sick? If a person has a family (wife/husband, children) and assets, do you think it's wise to have a will or trust to ensure your next of kin are protected in the event of an untimely demise? Or do you let your state determine who gets what in probate court and take half?

If one spouse made $100k and the other makes $0, guess what? State laws govern whether it is marital or separate property. Not "your money, my money."

I may be young, but not naive. But yes, I was naive for continuing the relationship knowing she wanted a green card.

Edited July 20, 2015 by Tom1440

[Cheezees 1,514]

OP, I know this is just your side and that of course, her side of the story will be different. However, it is totally beyond me why you would continue to pursue a relationship with someone who was blatantly trying to coerce you into immigration fraud. You saw her true colors very early on and for almost 2 years this is the horse you decided to hitch your wagon to. You knew her and obviously the whole "I'll pay you for a green card" thing was A-OK with you.

I don't mean you went for it. You obviously didn't. But you cannot now come here and act all innocent about her character, wanting to know if she wanted a green card (duh!) or wanted your family's money (no, it was the green card she wanted - she even rescinded her objection to the prenuptial agreement).

Even if your side is exactly how it was (and I actually tend to believe your account of the details since I have known similar scammers in my time and those were the exact kinds of issues that came up), you by no means have what is known as "clean hands" in this situation.

So, what was the point of your 3 questions? No doubt you "dodged a bullet", but that bullet was travelling at 1 inch per second and you were doing handstands and cartwheels as you playfully skipped away and waved at it.

[TBoneTX 45,361]

Some participants in this thread are at high risk of being banned from making further comments. Be careful.

OP, if you're satisfied with the answers that you've received, you can hit the "report" button and request that the thread be closed.

[Moderator hat off]

To prevent this woman from attempting or achieving a similar scam, collect all the information that you have about her. Set a USCIS InfoPass appointment, and meet with the FDNS (anti-fraud) supervisor. This action is the best way to help to preserve the integrity of the legal-immigration system.

[jsree84 0]

Probably, since, she did bring up scam marriage. That sounds like a red flag =/ And also feelings of indignation or resentment for not trusting her (which I believe you shouldn’t) regarding the prenup. I think her past actions don’t match her words, so I think you may have dodged a bullet.

[TBoneTX 45,361]

A noncontributory post has been removed. Post constructively, or don't post.

[rlogan 2,036]

My first wife saw me in a Division I NCAA sporting event and decided to look up my profile in the program. She was there with her fiance, and he saw her doing it. From that moment on he was suspicious of her actions, beginning with being a little too interested. But then there was a pattern of behavior that followed, a playbook all cheaters follow.

She engineered meeting me. We spent the night together and from that day on were never apart. She moved in immediately. I was dumbfounded that she was not only engaged to be married, but I listened to her lying on the phone to her parents and this poor guy, pretending nothing was going on and that she was still living with this other woman in an apartment. She told her ex-room mate that when the fiance and parents called that the story to tell was that she was in the shower and would call back. So the old room-mate would call over to my apartment and have her return the call. Her fiance instantly knew what was going on, and told her exactly who it was - me. His radar had been on full alert since the day she looked up my profile in the program. She vehemently denied it.

I objected straight away, but this went on for weeks with a new room-mate having moved in to her old apartment, at which point it had gotten so crazy I said that if she didn't tell everyone the truth that I was going to do it. So she fessed up. She was beautiful, a college grad with a job in the medical field paying a lot of money, an athlete - she seemed like such a catch... so I excused this behavior and even said to myself wow, she must really be in love with me to take off her ring, go for broke, and move in overnight with me.

Eight years later she was having an affair with a bodybuilder and I told her I knew exactly who it was. She vehemently denied it was going on and said I was crazy. I even set a trap for her by pretending to go on a fishing trip and followed her over to his house not more than an hour after I left. She spent the night, and I waited until about 11 am the next day to confront them, presenting myself at his door. I figured she'd have to fess up being caught red-handed like that. But no. This was exactly the same girl I had met eight years before, already engaged to one man and spending the night with another. Lying to everyone: nothing going on here, not willing to tell the truth until the guy himself makes her. She had other people lying for her saying she was over at their place baking a cake or whatever when she was at this guy's house too, just like she had her old room-mate lying for her when I first met her. Same girl doing the same things.

I shouldn't have been the least bit surprised. I filed divorce papers the first business day after I caught them together. Her original strategy was to keep denying it, have her cake and eat it too. But she decided not to contest it and went down to sign off. I gave her a ride to the courthouse, being pretty keen on getting the job done. As we left, she turned to me and said that she wanted to be honest. She decided she was going to start a relationship with this guy. I laughed so hard - it was about the most hilarious thing I had heard my whole life. She punched me in the face, but I just kept laughing.

She probably misunderstood why I was laughing so hard. But it had a lot to do with finally seeing her for what she really was and how dumb I was to watch her bold faced lies to everyone else and excuse it. Way to go, champ. You married her. And this is what you got. It's pretty good comedy to me - seeing myself having done it and hence the parody I wrote.

I wasn't engaged in a tax evasion scheme myself that she was trying to muscle in on, so I didn't have some big contrary interest working against her that prevented me from marrying her. But it should have been enough to see those lies, the cheating, and understand that this was the kind of girl who could do exactly the same thing to me. I realized that it wasn't her ethics needing to be tightened up - it was my own. You cross people off the list when you see this kind of behavior, no matter how hot they are or whatever else they got going for them.

Edited July 20, 2015 by rlogan