What my mother taught me...

[Dixie_Peach 1]

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

Hope ya'll enjoyed reading these as much as I did...

[Cassie 8]

My mother taught me to always look sharp when going to the mall or out in public -- no sweat pants for her!

My mother taught me grace under pressure -- the way she has handled having leukemia is amazing.

My mother taught me the importance of family, and respecting myself, and how to cook a wicked good turkey dinner.

I my mom!

PS. The list is hysterical

Edited March 13, 2006 by Cassie

[Yasi 0]

Thanks... I enjoyed this a lot...

[KarenCee 3]

OMG this is just like listening to my momma all over again! One thing she was adamant about: NEVER leave the house without changing your underwear (making sure there are no holes!) because "what would happen if you were in an wreck and the E.R. had to take your pants off?" Gotta love those mommas!!!!

[Tiksman 0]

My Mom taught me BIRTH CONTROL.

Keep it in your pants or I will cut it OFF

And she really said that no lie!!!!

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

My mother taught me that it's OK to eat off the floor.

[Dixie_Peach 1]

my friend's mother calls that the 3 second rule... if you pick it up within 3 seconds... it is okay to eat...

don't think i can quite handle that one... haha

[MaryandMian 1]

Thanks Lynne, loved reading this too.

Mary

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

my friend's mother calls that the 3 second rule... if you pick it up within 3 seconds... it is okay to eat...

don't think i can quite handle that one... haha

That's my mom. It drives my sister nuts but I'm OK with it. As a side note my sister is always sick and I never get sick. I have a strong immune system from all those floor germs.

[Dixie_Peach 1]

if that is the case... then i may just have to give it a shot! hehe... since moving to south georgia, the pollen kills me!!! maybe this would be a way to ward off those sinus colds and infections!

[eau_xplain 2]

if that is the case... then i may just have to give it a shot! hehe... since moving to south georgia, the pollen kills me!!! maybe this would be a way to ward off those sinus colds and infections!

I've heard that the way to get acclimatized to a place and get over allergies (especially pollen) is to take locally-produced honey. I guess the theory is that you will be taking in honey from local greenery and you will no longer be allergic to their pollen. I've yet to try it myself (luckily I don't have major pollen allergies) but it makes sense.

Edited March 13, 2006 by eau_xplain

[Dixie_Peach 1]

if that is the case... then i may just have to give it a shot! hehe... since moving to south georgia, the pollen kills me!!! maybe this would be a way to ward off those sinus colds and infections!

I've heard that the way to get acclimatized to a place and get over allergies (especially pollen) is to take locally-produced honey. I guess the theory is that you will be taking in honey from local greenery and you will no longer be allergic to their pollen. I've yet to try it myself (luckily I don't have major pollen allergies) but it makes sense.

i had never heard of that... but, it makes sense to me! i think i am gonna try that one... better than the 3 second rule... hehe... i love honey, have it in my tea every morning... but it isn't local... thanks for sharing!

[ChristinaM 0]

Cute, cute, cute!!!

My mum taught me about unconditional love: although there have been many times when she's wanted to kill me, she has always loved me and been my rock. I my mum too!

[Dixie_Peach 1]

when i orignially received these in an email... it gave me pause to think about my mom...

she actually has said a good number of these statements at some time or other... and it made me miss my mom all that much more...

I miss you Ma... and I love ya! Thank you for being my cheer-leader... my friend... my rock... you will be forever missed!

edited to add: my mom also taught us unconditional love... i learned about grace and dignity through her... and will treasure my memories...

thanks guys for letting me share that with ya'll!

Edited March 13, 2006 by Dixie_Peach

[almaty 19]

aw, lynne that was good..