what can I do

[Sandra G. 5,047]

What are you waiting to kick this scumbag to the curb?.

Considering what you are describing here, you are probably a victim of mental abuse. He is not jealous because he loves you, clearly he doesn't. He prohibits you to talk to your friends in order to isolate you,and make you completely dependent on him, it's a typical pattern of abusers.

You may have a VAWA case.Join the Thread Vawa Part 6.

Edited July 2, 2015 by sandranj

[Gary&Joy 18]

I almost thought the way Sandranj thought.. But it would not be fair.. I still do not know his side.. It sounds very convincing tho.. But I can only hope that everyone here is overreacting.. Maybe he is doing all this terrible theft of paperwork to keep her from leaving him.. Perhaps he is sorry (in an awful, scumbag sort of way).. One thing is sure, a loyal man would feel extremely close to his bride after a child is born.. I think I have nothing more to offer this issue, good luck for the kids' sake..

[trublubu2 62]

why do these misogynists always come and try to convince women that they deserve abuse and to stay with their abusers?

@millz, please listen to @aaron2020 who told you to find and communicate with an immigration lawyer to find out your rights and options--and also to @sandraj who told you to go to the violence against women act (vawa) thread to learn more about what you can do.

please get out now before it gets worse, because abusive people never change once they've decided to go down that path.

may you find peace in life.

Edited July 2, 2015 by trublubu2

[RICARDO4EVA2 194]

Everything.... I can't talk to anyone male or female, family or friends. He just wants me to himself

you better run - save your life if you know W.H,A.T is best.

[TBoneTX 45,267]

Several posts have been removed for being off-topic, noncontributory, instigating an argument, or referring to the foregoing. In addition, a quote without a reply has been removed. Stay on the topic.

VJ Moderation

[JessieRC 8]

I'm in a bit similar situation like yours but there is also difference.

As a mother of a 17 mo old baby, I can tell you my husband feels extremely reluctant for me to find a full time job so far.

We are both Immigrants. He came from Russia but has been living in US for more than 10 years; I am from China and haven't yet received my 10 years GC. We are on our own, without any grandparents or relatives to take care of our baby since she was born. My husband doesn't trust any daycare or nanny to babysit our child because he himself was mistreated by his auntie when he was very little and she was babysitting him. Both his parents worked then. I quit my full time job that I loved and have been a SAHM since our baby was born, and I don't think I will be looking for any job until our baby turns 2 years and can talk properly.

Personally I sometimes feel frustrated with my current SAHM situation but I do respect and understand my husband's feelings. I have chosen to take the middle course by finding a flexible part time job so that I can telecommute from home and take care of the baby and house at the same time. My husband appreciates that, too, and tries to reciprocate in other different ways.

I suggest you sit down and have a thorough talk with your husband to find out if there is something that he fears or worries about, and sort things out.

Edited July 2, 2015 by JessieRC

[madtownguy 164]

Unless the baby has a Jamaican passport?

Doesn't matter, it's kidnapping if both parents don't approve.

[TBoneTX 45,267]

Eight more posts have been removed for being off-topic, argumentative, or quoting said posts. Stick to the OP's topic, or thread-bans or worse will be forthcoming.

VJ Moderation

[rlogan 2,036]

He didn't show any sign of jealousy or insecurities but he cheated sixteen days after I had my baby and I found out so that why he's acting like that

He is acting like that because he is an abusive monster, not because he is a normal person that was driven to it by his infidelity being discovered.

The time of greatest risk to women who have abusive husbands is when they believe the woman is leaving them. That is when it can become a life and death matter for you. So on the one hand you need to leave him for your own long term safety, but on the other hand doing so represents the greatest immediate risk.

There should be a woman's shelter near you that has expert advice/resources for you in addition to providing a place for you to find safety. They would be happy to take your call and talk with you about your situation, but do so outside the presence of your husband.

[Sandra G. 5,047]

GARY & JOY when you hear someone telling about physical or mental abuse please do not say " But it would not be fair... I still do not know his side", NOBODY has to hear the abuser's side of the story. Victims when contacting violence hotline or shelters they do not tell to the victims " I have to hear your husband's side of the story", they advice the victims to seek shelter, to call the police if the victim fears for her/his life.

Visa journey is not a shelter or the violence hotline, but we ALL must be responsible when advising someone, no matter where we are. We should avoid making judgments, we should show concern, listen, be supportive and offer help, but NEVER EVER ask proof of the abuse!

Edited July 5, 2015 by sandranj

[Canrebat 5]

Doesn't matter, it's kidnapping if both parents don't approve.

You are wrong and it's annoying that you are so convinced you are right, why don't you put some effort in learning the law before spouting this nonsense?

Parental kidnapping ONLY would apply if

1) They were DIVORCED or legally seperated

and

2) There was a court order stating the time split between the parents.

There is nothing illegal about her taking her child out of the country. The only one who has done anything against the law is the husband for taking her paperwork.

Seriously educate yourself.

[Millz 7]

So my husband as decide he won't attend my interview with me..... What should I do? He still have some of my documents

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Call the police. He has no right to the documents. Unfortunately without him at the interview I believe that you will need to return home.

[Teddy B 17,252]

You are wrong and it's annoying that you are so convinced you are right, why don't you put some effort in learning the law before spouting this nonsense?

Parental kidnapping ONLY would apply if

1) They were DIVORCED or legally seperated

and

2) There was a court order stating the time split between the parents.

There is nothing illegal about her taking her child out of the country. The only one who has done anything against the law is the husband for taking her paperwork.

Seriously educate yourself.

This is completely incorrect. (I erroneously +1 this post in an attempt to hit the quote button.)

Kidnapping is still kidnapping, it doesn't matter what the marital status of the parents is.

Parental Kidnapping Law & Legal Definition

In the absence of a court order determining rights of custody or visitation to a child, a person having a right of custody of the child commits the crime of parental kidnapping if he removes, takes, detains, conceals, or entices away that child within or without the state, without good cause, and with the intent to deprive the custody right of another person or a public agency also having a custody right to that child. The following a a federal law governing parental kidnapping:

"* 28 § 1738A. Full faith and credit given to child custody determinations

http://definitions.uslegal.com/p/parental-kidnapping/

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

Everything.... I can't talk to anyone male or female, family or friends. He just wants me to himself

He's completely insecure. He is afraid that if you are not totally dependent on him, or become more independent, you will see there's a better option out there and leave him. He's scared is what it comes down to.