Dumped by fiance?

[onye uwaoma 131]

She is leaving all that she knows behind. She wants assurance that she wont be marrying some broke deadbeat living his mom's house.

In my personal opinion, any petitioner that needs a sponsor should be a clear red flag to a fiance of what to expect, if they are in fact expecting a life of non-poverty.

Nobody can assure you a paradise on earth...if you're not ready and willing to work to earn a good living for yourself and your household don't lash out your frustration on a poor innocent man who believes in love... I can't see any iota of love in your wants and desires rather than what you can obtain; not what you can give! wow....people!

[Psalm51 1]

I just read through everyone's responses and really want to thank you for the feedback. I guess I should be a little more understanding of her request ....

I was getting a little frustrated and impatient with the whole thing after working so hard to get the I-797... and now it looks like it's going to slide over the 4 month expiration deadline (I'm not looking forward to going through the whole 129f ordeal again).

But anyway I think I will try really hard to explain to her the life here, and how we can try and overcome the away-from-family/nothing-to-do syndrome which is a real issue. She is from a big city, but is really close to her huge family and church so I can see how she could feel isolated. I was thinking of a lot she could do here but to be honest I haven't discussed any of that with her...my bad..

I did assure her that I would support her family in the Phil by more than what she contributes from her job there that she would have to leave...

I guess I might even have to make the trip there again and buy the whole family dinner. But that's a bit much to do just hoping that it'll give her more assurance....

[Boiler 45,541]

Ouch

[Sandra G. 5,048]

Oh if you will be financially supporting her family even more than she is doing now then you found a solution for your/her case.Money brings what some women want, for many of them love is not enough.

Some people when have their needs met they calm down. When money stops talking, she may start walking,then just make sure you have PLENTY of money for her trips, shopping spree. She will have all day to spend in the internet chatting with her family and friends, but I guess at least dinner will be ready when you come home.

Edited June 23, 2015 by sandranj

[Ortolan 381]

Well...that's the reason, maybe, that they give you 90 days on a K-1. To decide:

1) To marry, then spend the rest of your life supporting both her and her family, because you love each other and it's worth it to you both,

or 2) it's all about money, period.

If you feel that it's 2), and if that isn't acceptable to you, then a first class plane ticket back home would be much less expensive for you both, in the long run.

[onye uwaoma 131]

I just read through everyone's responses and really want to thank you for the feedback. I guess I should be a little more understanding of her request ....

I was getting a little frustrated and impatient with the whole thing after working so hard to get the I-797... and now it looks like it's going to slide over the 4 month expiration deadline (I'm not looking forward to going through the whole 129f ordeal again).

But anyway I think I will try really hard to explain to her the life here, and how we can try and overcome the away-from-family/nothing-to-do syndrome which is a real issue. She is from a big city, but is really close to her huge family and church so I can see how she could feel isolated. I was thinking of a lot she could do here but to be honest I haven't discussed any of that with her...my bad..

I did assure her that I would support her family in the Phil by more than what she contributes from her job there that she would have to leave...

I guess I might even have to make the trip there again and buy the whole family dinner. But that's a bit much to do just hoping that it'll give her more assurance....

That's all up to you... This is your choice and do as you like. Also, when the chips are done and you find yet the same reason to come out there to entertain this forum with your story again, I bet we we have fun passing the time with you here one more time... common sense is not common like they say... good luck! Edited June 23, 2015 by onye uwaoma

[onye uwaoma 131]

Oh if you will be financially supporting her family even more than she is doing now then you found a solution for your/her case.Money brings what some women want, for many of them love is not enough.

Some people when have their needs met they calm down. When money stops talking, she may start walking,then just make sure you have PLENTY of money for her trips, shopping spree. She will have all day to spend in the internet chatting with her family and friends, but I guess at least dinner will be ready when you come home.

It's crazy how some people misplace love with selfish interest and the whole world seemed not to care! But I bet you and I do lol... Edited June 23, 2015 by onye uwaoma

[Darnell 8,478]

Now that I have your attention.... maybe some of you experts can advise me.....

We got the I-797 approved and were just starting the process of getting a date for the interview when my fiance suddenly got cold feet.

She said she has some doubts and needed me to assure her that she would be “happy and satisfied with no doubts”. She wants to be “assured that I could take care her”.

I tried to ask for specifics but she just advised me to find a Filpina married to an American and ask them.

I actually have a good relationship with her and she says she wants the engagement to continue.

So ...can this be translated for me...is this just cold feet or am I missing a cultural cue.

once you find such a lass, a Filipina married to an american,

[based on what I've read]

the answer will fall into several buckets (you pick one or more):

1. must have a house and keep it clean

2. must be financially able to send off monies to her family monthly, as many families see arrival in USA on a K-1 or CR-1 visa as an extension of the overseas foreign worker model, and this money is expected

3. must be financially 'big enough' to send out monies for emergencies as they happen. Sure, sometimes these emergencies really resulted because of poor planning by family members, but ....

4. must not interfere with anything she is doing for her family, irrespective of how weird it may seem to you or how taxing it is on your financial base.

[EmilyW 1,441]

Why can't she work when she gets to the US? Does she have a disability or something that prevents her from working and prevents her from sending her own wages home to support her family?

[Tahoma 2,292]

...after working so hard to get the I-797... and now it looks like it's going to slide over the 4 month expiration deadline (I'm not looking forward to going through the whole 129f ordeal again).

There's no need to worry just yet about your petition expiring. The U.S. Embassy will automatically renew your petition for up to one year.

Meanwhile, your fiancée needs your empathy and your reassurance.

You should paint a complete picture for your fiancée of what her life will be like in the U.S. with you.

[Psalm51 1]

Tahoma that is certainly encouraging information about the renewal of the petition for up to 1 year....are you sure about that? I had read on a law firm website that it was easier to re-petition rather than renew an expired petition. But maybe that was just their self-interest because they wanted the petition filing business....

This could easily stretch out months and months because my fiancé has gotten really busy.... with valid pursuits, which I understand .... but she has not been communicating with me much now because she is so busy (gulp)....

[Darnell 8,478]

Why can't she work when she gets to the US? Does she have a disability or something that prevents her from working and prevents her from sending her own wages home to support her family?

there's a period of time for a k-1 visa holder,

where

legally,

they are unable to work.

[usmsbow 801]

Tahoma that is certainly encouraging information about the renewal of the petition for up to 1 year....are you sure about that? I had read on a law firm website that it was easier to re-petition rather than renew an expired petition. But maybe that was just their self-interest because they wanted the petition filing business....

This could easily stretch out months and months because my fiancé has gotten really busy.... with valid pursuits, which I understand .... but she has not been communicating with me much now because she is so busy (gulp)....

Yes, he speaks the truth. It can be extended up to a year after your NOA2 date.

[Tahoma 2,292]

Tahoma that is certainly encouraging information about the renewal of the petition for up to 1 year....are you sure about that? I had read on a law firm website that it was easier to re-petition rather than renew an expired petition. But maybe that was just their self-interest because they wanted the petition filing business....

This could easily stretch out months and months because my fiancé has gotten really busy.... with valid pursuits, which I understand .... but she has not been communicating with me much now because she is so busy (gulp)....

I don't know about other Embassies, but the U.S. Embassy Manila will automatically renew your I-129F petition for up to one year. As usmsbow correctly pointed out, the clock starts ticking after your USCIS approval date (NOA2).

To ensure that the Embassy extends your petition, I would recommend that you email them every four months with your request to extend your petition.

Best wishes to you on your visa journey.

[rlogan 2,036]

This could easily stretch out months and months because my fiancé has gotten really busy.... with valid pursuits, which I understand .... but she has not been communicating with me much now because she is so busy (gulp)....

She said she has some doubts and needed me to assure her that she would be “happy and satisfied with no doubts”. She wants to be “assured that I could take care her”.

I tried to ask for specifics but she just advised me to find a Filpina married to an American and ask them.

She doesn't have any respect for you.

lol - ask strangers what my riddles mean. I don't have time to explain.

Plenty of women are super busy, have time to communicate with their partner and don't feed them while saying it is chocolate.