Family Approval

[keepinitreal 0]

How important is it to get family(parents) approval of your fiance? It is very important to my fiance and I who are 30 and 33

[KarenCee 3]

Important to whom? From a personal standpoint, that's really between you and your fiancée. As for me personally, I didn't care whether my family approved or not...it's not their life, it's mine. I am an adult, my life isn't built around who does or does not like how I live my life and with whom. As for the USCIS, if that's what you are concerned about, they don't care about that as long as you two are legal to marry and your relationship is legitimate.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Important to whom? From a personal standpoint, that's really between you and your fiancée. As for me personally, I didn't care whether my family approved or not...it's not their life, it's mine. I am an adult, my life isn't built around who does or does not like how I live my life and with whom. As for the USCIS, if that's what you are concerned about, they don't care about that as long as you two are legal to marry and your relationship is legitimate.

I would add that from a personal standpoint, it is your family and if your union is so vehemently opposed by your family, it's worth thinking it over - not to let it being a deciding factor, but to look ahead at the kind of strain and stress that will put on your relationship. My parents reacted negatively when they found out I was in a LDR with someone from another country. I didn't let it stop me from continuing the relationship because I know them well enough that they would eventually come around to accepting it. You know your family so I would recommend thinking about that - if they are the kind of people that generally accept things over time.

If they haven't met your SO yet - that would be the first step.

[KarenCee 3]

Important to whom? From a personal standpoint, that's really between you and your fiancée. As for me personally, I didn't care whether my family approved or not...it's not their life, it's mine. I am an adult, my life isn't built around who does or does not like how I live my life and with whom. As for the USCIS, if that's what you are concerned about, they don't care about that as long as you two are legal to marry and your relationship is legitimate.

I would add that from a personal standpoint, it is your family and if your union is so vehemently opposed by your family, it's worth thinking it over - not to let it being a deciding factor, but to look ahead at the kind of strain and stress that will put on your relationship. My parents reacted negatively when they found out I was in a LDR with someone from another country. I didn't let it stop me from continuing the relationship because I know them well enough that they would eventually come around to accepting it. You know your family so I would recommend thinking about that - if they are the kind of people that generally accept things over time.

If they haven't met your SO yet - that would be the first step.

True, it is always a good thing to have family approval. I guess my response comes from knowing my family and how they reacted. It wouldn't matter WHO I was in a relationship with. The only person who really accepted Joel, and the fact that he's not a USC, was my beloved mother. Even still, she knew that I was going to pursue my relationship with him regardless of how anyone felt and I know she trusted me to make the decision that was best for me. LOL, I come from a family of men who think women are inferior and cannot think for themselves. Which is why I live so far away from them all.

You're right though, I would take that into consideration since it could create problems down the road with family (i.e. family gatherings, first grandchild, etc.) Another thing that some families have a hard time accepting is the method by which we meet our SO's....over the Internet, which was my mother's main concern. To her: Internet=Evil. Til she met Joel...

To the OP: You have to decide how to deal with this...all we can do is share personal experience. Like Steven said, you know your family far better than any of us do. Best wishes to you and your fiancée.

[sereia 0]

I agree with Steven and Jinky. I want (not need) my family to approve of and love my fiance. I know that this is my life but I also want them to be IN our lives. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life without my parents involved! I want them to be at my wedding. I want them to be grandparents. That being said, I've taken it into careful consideration and I truly believe my family will come around once they meet him. The more I talk about him, the more my mom already seems to lighten up. I know my family and know they will accept him eventually. I wish you have a family similar to this! Good luck:D

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

If my finace's parents hadn't approved, I wouldn't have agreed to marry him.....For me, the fact that they are the only family apart from him that I would have there was a HUGE consideration...Not to mention that we have a lifetime of Christmases, Thanksgivings to come, grandchildren for them to interract with....Yes, it's about me and him, but in my eyes, a marriage in these times already has the odds stacked against it, I don't want anything like that to contend with...

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Its normal you always want all people concerned approvals but you have to do what is right for you and SO. Most times i belive the uneasy feelings come from just the not knowing, given time hopefully they will try. Then again there are families that will not approve no matter who it is, you just continue whats best for you.

[Fandango 1,439]

You marry the family, not just the man.

I didn't believe that with my last marriage, but I do now.

Parental approval (on both ends) was VERY important to me. D...eh not so much, he's more or less going to do what he wants, which is cool. But there's no reason to not get along, so I wanted a very happy family life all around, and the parents' blessings were an integral part of that for me.

[pedroh 21]

also if they like u the inlaws give u sweet gifts in Xmas XD

[one...two...tree 2,762]

also if they like u the inlaws give u sweet gifts in Xmas XD

Sometimes that's all that holds a family together.

[Nessa 23]

It's not important to me. I married Charles not his family.

[bostonparis 0]

It's very important to me that his family accepts and loves me, and also that my family accepts and loves him. And thank goodness it worked out that way. Particularly because we are both close with our families. I suppose if we weren't, it wouldn't matter as much.

[Lisa and Spence 0]

While it is important to me that my parents accept him and his family accepts me, if that wasn't the case... it would not change my mind or my plans to be with him.

Fortunately, we are both lucky and both famlies accept us as a couple and we both get along very well with each others family.