Adjusting to life

[me2014 2]

Hi! So my husband and I went through the k visa process and are now in the process of adjusting his status. I was wondering how other people (particularly husbands) are adjusting to life in the US. For us, I know its hard for my husband to be here, far away from home, and dealing with all this immigration stress. I know it is especially difficult for him not being able to work and know that I am the one at work, while he is at home cooking meals, cleaning, and trying to helpful...but he is totally dependant on me. I know, as a guy, that's rough! Has anyone else's husband's been having a hard time with that?....

[Cathi 5,755]

Even though my husband came with a spouse visa and we didn't need to adjust status, it still took him several months to find a job. He is an engineer and it took him several months to find a job, and his first job wasn't in his field(1st job was at Walmart loading trucks), but he was willing to take any job in order to contribute to the household finances. About 4 or 5 months after starting his first job he found a job in his field, which was about 10 months after he arrived in the US.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

My husband can't drive yet, we have AOS pending. He is bored and wants to work really bad but spends his time riding a bicycle and

working out at the gym. He also has a library card and yes, doing some cooking and cleaning. Yay !!!

We try to do stuff together as much as we can to get him out of the house when my work schedule allows.

Sightseeing the surrounding areas etc, small road trips here and there just for him to see something different help.

We picked up some application for the fun of it and to get him used to applying at surrounding jobs in the future.

He will work on his resume soon.

[hanniel 41]

Even though my husband came with a spouse visa and we didn't need to adjust status, it still took him several months to find a job. He is an engineer and it took him several months to find a job, and his first job wasn't in his field(1st job was at Walmart loading trucks), but he was willing to take any job in order to contribute to the household finances. About 4 or 5 months after starting his first job he found a job in his field, which was about 10 months after he arrived in the US.

kudos to your husband for accepting that Walmart job. Just having work experience in the US is helpful in attaining a subsequent job, thus starting from there was a good decision on his part.

[KayDeeCee 4,893]

~ Moved from AOS from Family Based Visas to Moving to the US and Your New Life in America - topic is about adjusting to life in the US ~

[TBoneTX 45,304]

We picked up some application for the fun of it and to get him used to applying at surrounding jobs in the future.

This is the best of the several excellent ideas in your post. Brilliant, in fact.

[NikLR 13,227]

K1 can be much harder on a person used to working than the spousal visa route.

It does take some time to adjust. For some people it takes years. Patience is your best virtue for that time period. Best of luck!

[Darnell 8,478]

Hi! So my husband and I went through the k visa process and are now in the process of adjusting his status. I was wondering how other people (particularly husbands) are adjusting to life in the US. For us, I know its hard for my husband to be here, far away from home, and dealing with all this immigration stress. I know it is especially difficult for him not being able to work and know that I am the one at work, while he is at home cooking meals, cleaning, and trying to helpful...but he is totally dependant on me. I know, as a guy, that's rough! Has anyone else's husband's been having a hard time with that?....

is he handy with tools and gardening?

if yes, source out some tools at estate sales, buying older american product. have him build some box planters and then you sell them on the weekends (you, not him).

as to the garden, there's probably lots of unused land around your area, have him start some seeds in seed trays, then scope out the land around your place, seeking the owners of said land, and get permission to start a garden there. by the time he's figured out who owns the land, gotten the permission from the owner, the seed trays are ready to be transplanted.

he's not a gamer person, is he?

alternatively, he can volunteer his time with the chamber of commerce in your area - it's a good thing, actually, as he'll be meeting humans with hiring authority in a stress-free, non-hiring event throughout the months.

[VOL 425]

Hi! So my husband and I went through the k visa process and are now in the process of adjusting his status. I was wondering how other people (particularly husbands) are adjusting to life in the US. For us, I know its hard for my husband to be here, far away from home, and dealing with all this immigration stress. I know it is especially difficult for him not being able to work and know that I am the one at work, while he is at home cooking meals, cleaning, and trying to helpful...but he is totally dependant on me. I know, as a guy, that's rough! Has anyone else's husband's been having a hard time with that?....

Him having to do female roles such as cooking, cleaning, etc is probably very degrading for him.

Have you ever thought about finding work in Philippines and moving back over there to live?

[NikLR 13,227]

Degrading female roles. Wow.

[VOL 425]

Degrading female roles. Wow.

Negative, Please remember this is a international forum.

Poster is from Philippines, and traditional roles is for the female to cook and take care of house, I have never seen a husband do the cooking or cleaning and nor is it normal for a male to do those roles in Philippines. When I am there the men eat first and the woman serve them, just the way it works there.........

[Jacque67 7,328]

Negative, Please remember this is a international forum.

Poster is from Philippines, and traditional roles is for the female to cook and take care of house, I have never seen a husband do the cooking or cleaning and nor is it normal for a male to do those roles in Philippines. When I am there the men eat first and the woman serve them, just the way it works there.........

So he should stay in the Philippines if he isn't willing to adapt.

[VOL 425]

So he should stay in the Philippines if he isn't willing to adapt.

That is why I suggested moving back to Philippines.

It's would be harder for a man to adjust versus a female from Philippines, from what I know about the culture..

[Jacque67 7,328]

That is why I suggested moving back to Philippines.

It's would be harder for a man to adjust versus a female from Philippines, from what I know about the culture..

True.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Hi! So my husband and I went through the k visa process and are now in the process of adjusting his status. I was wondering how other people (particularly husbands) are adjusting to life in the US. For us, I know its hard for my husband to be here, far away from home, and dealing with all this immigration stress. I know it is especially difficult for him not being able to work and know that I am the one at work, while he is at home cooking meals, cleaning, and trying to helpful...but he is totally dependant on me. I know, as a guy, that's rough! Has anyone else's husband's been having a hard time with that?....

I struggled for a few months as a CR1 (it took me 3 months to find a job and I wasnt used to not working). I found going to the library and doing job research, improving my resume etc more healthy than being at home while my wife was at work.

The idea about practice job applications another poster quoted is very good. Also are there any local courses he can take to learn new skills and meet new people? Might give him a sense of purpose while he is unable to work.