Our 8 month update...

[overandout 0]

Wow, I can't believe it has been 8 months since we recieved my husband's visa and arrived in the US. I was living in the UK as a student (I am the USC) and we got married in June 05 and started the <sarcasm>wonderful</sarcasm> journey...

Things were very difficult when we first arrived. We had no apartment or home ready for us, so had to live in my childhood bedroom in my dad's house. My dad was very helpful and accomodating, but to go from having your own space to having none whatsoever, put a real strain on us. Neither one of us had a car, so first priority was getting some kind of transportation - we live in the middle of nowhere (or what seems like that when compared to areas in the UK all linked by train and bus!) so a car was a necessity as far as finding jobs and getting to them every day. We managed to get a deal on a Honda which has been the most reliable car, I would reccomend the Civic to anyone. Because we weren't paying rent, we did have the luxury of being able to visit a lot of places in the area so that Paul could get better aquainted with his new surroundings. I think that helped a lot. We were also forced (but grew to enjoy, lol) to spend a lot of time with my family members. Being surrounded by supportive people is so important in this kind of situation. Get out and make some friends and contacts is all I can say, I can't emphasise that enough...and it's the last thing you feel like doing, but you have to push each other. Get out and explore.

Eventually in July I got a job at a retail store I used to work at. My friend was the manager there and she gave me a decent wage (for retail). That got us a little bit of income coming in. Paul went on many job interviews. He had some interest from a few people, a few even told him he was too qualified for the job. A temp agency here that I also ended up using myself were very professional and helpful, and best of all, very local. Many of the temp agencies we recieved letters from after they saw our resumes on Monster or CareerBuilder were at least an hour away in the more built up areas that we weren't interested in commuting to in the first place. Eventually through one of our friends, he got an interview with a small but growing HVAC company to be an office assistant/receptionist. He got the job in August and it's now February - he's recieved two raises and a promotion already, he is now the office manager. This is all down to his hard work, and he hasn't been afraid to stand up to his bosses and suggest new ideas for the company. If you have the opportunity to work for a small company, I would not pass it up. Don't think that the only good jobs are in the cities! As for me, I worked in retail until the end of October to keep the money coming in while we moved into our own apartment. I then signed up with the local temp agency, who found me a job in less than two days working in the customer service department of a hospitality glassware company. It pays well and isn't too far of a commute, and the company is European owned and growing.

So far so good. Paul took his driving test and passed, he now has a NJ driver's license. We were happy with our apartment, which was gigantic compared to the one we had back in England, for nearly the same rent. After being there a few months, we decided we wanted to buy a house. We had some savings together so started the search. Then we spotted this adorable colonial in my hometown. It had been on the market over the summer, then sold. We had actually been keeping an eye on it but weren't ready to actually start looking. Then, due to an issue at closing, it was back for a couple of weeks. We figured we couldn't lose anything by just going to look at it - we called up the wife of one of Paul's colleagues who was a realtor (contacts, people! network!) and she took us to see it right away - it was perfect. The only problem was that the furnace was too old and needed to be replaced. Well, Paul works for an HVAC company - they installed a new one for us for cost. Of course there was a little bit of pain involved there, we ran out of heat over one weekend and froze our asses off for a few days (In North Jersey, in February...COLD!), so they came in and did an emergency installation for us. So, we bought a house. It has had its problems. Having your first home is certainly no picnic. Our major problem though has not been with the house, but the apartment.

When we moved in, we signed a one year lease. Part of the terms of the lease were that if we moved out before the lease was up, we had to pay rent until the apartment was rented to a new tenant. Well, we didn't read that part. We thought it would be like our contract in England, where all we had to do was give thirty days notice that we were planning to move out, no strings attached. When we looked at the house and decided it was what we wanted, we were told someone else had already put in an offer that the owners were considering. We had to put in our own offer (and a better one) as fast as possible, so we didn't stop to consider the apartment lease. All the waiting drove us nuts. It felt like the visa process all over again. There were fights and tears and a hell of a lot of stress. We moved out of the apartment in mid December, and waited impatiently for it to be rented to someone else. The poor manager probably wanted to kill me, I called him a few times every week to see how it was going. Then at the end of January, we recieved a bill from the apartment management - for $10,000. Freaking out ensued. Where the hell were we going to get that kind of money? Who has that just sitting around, especially after we just signed on for a $250,000 mortgage??? As with most things, especially the visa, it came down to the wire, to the end of this month. In fact, today would have been the day we were going to go to the bank and apply for a personal loan. I got a call on Friday from the apartment manager saying they had rented the apartment and the new tenants were moving in that day. PHEW.

Things are certainly still not perfect and I don't think anything will ever live up to the ideals we had in our heads before we came here - but in 8 months we've managed to do all this through had work and perseverance. We have a lot to be grateful for.

So, it has been scary at times. Other times it's been great. You just have to keep pushing and pushing and don't lose sight of your goals. The best way to get by, at least here in our rural area, is to make friends and be a part of the community. Rely on family if you can. Paul just joined the local volunteer fire company and I think this is going to really help him with getting out there and doing things on his own too. Join the first aid squad, the fire company, if you're religious, find a church and make some friends there. It sounds really cheesy, but it does help. Even just go to a local bar and talk to some strangers about the area, you never know who they might know who could help you with something, or they might be able to help you, or they might just turn out to be a very good friend. In our experience, in our area, people have been very generous and I don't know what we would have done without them.

If anyone needs any help at all with anything, please let us know!!!

- Carrie

Ah, the American Dream...two guns for everybody

[Chris-n-Veronica 0]

Wow, I can't believe it has been 8 months since we recieved my husband's visa and arrived in the US. I was living in the UK as a student (I am the USC) and we got married in June 05 and started the <sarcasm>wonderful</sarcasm> journey...

Things were very difficult when we first arrived. We had no apartment or home ready for us, so had to live in my childhood bedroom in my dad's house. My dad was very helpful and accomodating, but to go from having your own space to having none whatsoever, put a real strain on us. Neither one of us had a car, so first priority was getting some kind of transportation - we live in the middle of nowhere (or what seems like that when compared to areas in the UK all linked by train and bus!) so a car was a necessity as far as finding jobs and getting to them every day. We managed to get a deal on a Honda which has been the most reliable car, I would reccomend the Civic to anyone. Because we weren't paying rent, we did have the luxury of being able to visit a lot of places in the area so that Paul could get better aquainted with his new surroundings. I think that helped a lot. We were also forced (but grew to enjoy, lol) to spend a lot of time with my family members. Being surrounded by supportive people is so important in this kind of situation. Get out and make some friends and contacts is all I can say, I can't emphasise that enough...and it's the last thing you feel like doing, but you have to push each other. Get out and explore.

Eventually in July I got a job at a retail store I used to work at. My friend was the manager there and she gave me a decent wage (for retail). That got us a little bit of income coming in. Paul went on many job interviews. He had some interest from a few people, a few even told him he was too qualified for the job. A temp agency here that I also ended up using myself were very professional and helpful, and best of all, very local. Many of the temp agencies we recieved letters from after they saw our resumes on Monster or CareerBuilder were at least an hour away in the more built up areas that we weren't interested in commuting to in the first place. Eventually through one of our friends, he got an interview with a small but growing HVAC company to be an office assistant/receptionist. He got the job in August and it's now February - he's recieved two raises and a promotion already, he is now the office manager. This is all down to his hard work, and he hasn't been afraid to stand up to his bosses and suggest new ideas for the company. If you have the opportunity to work for a small company, I would not pass it up. Don't think that the only good jobs are in the cities! As for me, I worked in retail until the end of October to keep the money coming in while we moved into our own apartment. I then signed up with the local temp agency, who found me a job in less than two days working in the customer service department of a hospitality glassware company. It pays well and isn't too far of a commute, and the company is European owned and growing.

So far so good. Paul took his driving test and passed, he now has a NJ driver's license. We were happy with our apartment, which was gigantic compared to the one we had back in England, for nearly the same rent. After being there a few months, we decided we wanted to buy a house. We had some savings together so started the search. Then we spotted this adorable colonial in my hometown. It had been on the market over the summer, then sold. We had actually been keeping an eye on it but weren't ready to actually start looking. Then, due to an issue at closing, it was back for a couple of weeks. We figured we couldn't lose anything by just going to look at it - we called up the wife of one of Paul's colleagues who was a realtor (contacts, people! network!) and she took us to see it right away - it was perfect. The only problem was that the furnace was too old and needed to be replaced. Well, Paul works for an HVAC company - they installed a new one for us for cost. Of course there was a little bit of pain involved there, we ran out of heat over one weekend and froze our asses off for a few days (In North Jersey, in February...COLD!), so they came in and did an emergency installation for us. So, we bought a house. It has had its problems. Having your first home is certainly no picnic. Our major problem though has not been with the house, but the apartment.

When we moved in, we signed a one year lease. Part of the terms of the lease were that if we moved out before the lease was up, we had to pay rent until the apartment was rented to a new tenant. Well, we didn't read that part. We thought it would be like our contract in England, where all we had to do was give thirty days notice that we were planning to move out, no strings attached. When we looked at the house and decided it was what we wanted, we were told someone else had already put in an offer that the owners were considering. We had to put in our own offer (and a better one) as fast as possible, so we didn't stop to consider the apartment lease. All the waiting drove us nuts. It felt like the visa process all over again. There were fights and tears and a hell of a lot of stress. We moved out of the apartment in mid December, and waited impatiently for it to be rented to someone else. The poor manager probably wanted to kill me, I called him a few times every week to see how it was going. Then at the end of January, we recieved a bill from the apartment management - for $10,000. Freaking out ensued. Where the hell were we going to get that kind of money? Who has that just sitting around, especially after we just signed on for a $250,000 mortgage??? As with most things, especially the visa, it came down to the wire, to the end of this month. In fact, today would have been the day we were going to go to the bank and apply for a personal loan. I got a call on Friday from the apartment manager saying they had rented the apartment and the new tenants were moving in that day. PHEW.

Things are certainly still not perfect and I don't think anything will ever live up to the ideals we had in our heads before we came here - but in 8 months we've managed to do all this through had work and perseverance. We have a lot to be grateful for.

So, it has been scary at times. Other times it's been great. You just have to keep pushing and pushing and don't lose sight of your goals. The best way to get by, at least here in our rural area, is to make friends and be a part of the community. Rely on family if you can. Paul just joined the local volunteer fire company and I think this is going to really help him with getting out there and doing things on his own too. Join the first aid squad, the fire company, if you're religious, find a church and make some friends there. It sounds really cheesy, but it does help. Even just go to a local bar and talk to some strangers about the area, you never know who they might know who could help you with something, or they might be able to help you, or they might just turn out to be a very good friend. In our experience, in our area, people have been very generous and I don't know what we would have done without them.

If anyone needs any help at all with anything, please let us know!!!

- Carrie

Ah, the American Dream...two guns for everybody

I enjoy these real life times...I wish we had more of these stories of real life after the SO gets here..... it does seem he is making the adjustment just fine,.."Two Guns For Everyone"

Thankyou..for alittle insite on your life...