Experiences of Discrimination Against Immigrants

[KokiLulu 8]

What I am learning about Islam is that culture and religious lines often cross and intertwine. My fiance has been a muslim all of his life and often has his Egyptian culture intertwined with his religion. The Imam at the mosque I attend said it is often easier to learn and practice true Islam here in America where the culture doesn't come into play as much as it does in many African and middle Eastern countries.

[Pitaya 2,577]

Here is a good organization that is very active in fighting discrimination and teaching tolerance:

http://www.splcenter.org/who-we-are

[Smelserjl 137]

Here is a good organization that is very active in fighting discrimination and teaching tolerance:

http://www.splcenter.org/who-we-are

Thank you so much! I've been following and donating to the SPLC for some time now. They do excellent work!

What I am learning about Islam is that culture and religious lines often cross and intertwine. My fiance has been a muslim all of his life and often has his Egyptian culture intertwined with his religion. The Imam at the mosque I attend said it is often easier to learn and practice true Islam here in America where the culture doesn't come into play as much as it does in many African and middle Eastern countries.

Funny you should say that. I've heard quite a few people say that as well. Do you worry about his experiences in the US?

[marymon 15]

going to a mosque to ask about employment for her husband, would be considered a slap in the face to her husband to most 95% of muslim men.

Why? She is just helping him.

[IslAmy 122]

I would second that my husband wouldn't mind me helping him. I reached out to a local Egyptian community for him in anticipation of his arrival and he was happy for me taking initiative.

I am concerned for our safety and his general happiness as his arrival gets closer. We've had some nasty comments (both religious and racial) but that's all it's been so far.

Edited May 31, 2015 by IslAmy

[Smelserjl 137]

He doesn't mind at all that I help. I've been talking with friends who were also immigrants but now US citizens and they've been through the process A-Z. They've given us recommendations on jobs, communities to live in, etc.

I guess you can really only prepare so much and just roll with the punches. Im glad that VJ exists because everyone can give their input and experiences which I personally have felt so very grateful for.

[MouadsWife 161]

Well yes she's just helping him and I see it the same way too. But my husbands culture is very conservative. He only likes my nose in half way. Certain things you help with and certain things you dont. And if you help, you help very privately. Employment in my husbands eyes/culture is a mans business. A woman does no ask another for employment for her husband. He feels it takes away his own respect. For the mosque example. In Islam, the wife is all respect and honor of the husband. She is also the reputation of the family. An out if bound step will cause dishonor to the family that you will never get back. When you stain yourself you stain your husband. Asking for a job for your husband takes away his own honor as a man. Most proud muslim men feel this way. I know about 25 muslim men here (husbands soccer team)... and they all pretty much feel the same. I also know muslim men from Saudi and they are assuridly the same. Women can find out where and what kind of local jobs there are...news paper sources, adds, etc... but to ask in his name, I would let him. When he gets here, being new he wouldn't want to jump right in the first week. A person would want to get acclimated and be comfortable with their surroundings. Get comfortable with their new home and marriage. Like I said, they have plenty of time before they hurry off to work. And my statement above arent ment as 100% facts of all muslims. They are just my experiences of my time staying with my family in Morocco, being around the mosque here, and our many muslims friends that we know. There are mixed couples over here, american with morocans who experience the same things. Nose only half way in.

Sorry for my book and weird typos... I'm on my phone... lol.

Edited May 31, 2015 by MouadsWife

[MS and KK 13]

My fiance and I are of different faiths and cultures... we are just different! (its working for us) but the key is respect. We will live in metro dc and there are all types of people here and both our families have embraced us both. At the end of the day regardless to where you live there will be discrimiation based on any number of things but you guys should talk about it and move fwd. I've found that MOST people are more tolerant than you think. They may be curious so be open to answering questions (but not getting into argument). Most people are also just afraid of different. Try to find commonalities (there are more than not) and find ways to celerbrate and put a positive face on the differences.

[Boiler 45,525]

As somebody who immigrates I would say that the first thing you need to focus on is that you are the one moving to a different country, a different culture, if you are not prepared to acknowledge and accept that then I would question the logic of moving.

Not everybody is willing to do that, in which case they would be much better staying home.

[tcgator 1]

My husband is from Turkey and has an accent, although he's not Muslim, but maybe people might assume he is. We have not had any negative reactions or confrontations. When he first arrived here we were in South Florida and most people thought he was Latino/South American so would start speaking Spanish if they didn't understand him, which was always funny. Now we live in North Carolina, a decent size city that is actually quite diverse (more so than I ever would have thought). People are friendly and I think his only complaint would be that people don't always understand him so they look to me for interpretation. It's something that we've gotten used to. Otherwise, I really wouldn't stress about something that you don't know what will happen. And yes, I think if you tend to stick to the more diverse areas, you won't have any issues. Best of luck!

[Smelserjl 137]

Thanks everyone! I appreciate your feedback and suggestions. I feel alot better! Good luck to everyone

[IslAmy 122]

Thanks everyone! I appreciate your feedback and suggestions. I feel alot better! Good luck to everyone

Hi Smelserjl I know you're trying to wrap things up so I apologize for the reply, if you'd rather I start my own topic I'll respect that

I guess my question for everyone is how to deal with the questions/comments as they come? Do you use them as teachable moments or is there a certain point that you don't engage with people's assumptions?

[MouadsWife 161]

My husband is from Turkey and has an accent, although he's not Muslim, but maybe people might assume he is. We have not had any negative reactions or confrontations. When he first arrived here we were in South Florida and most people thought he was Latino/South American so would start speaking Spanish if they didn't understand him, which was always funny. Now we live in North Carolina, a decent size city that is actually quite diverse (more so than I ever would have thought). People are friendly and I think his only complaint would be that people don't always understand him so they look to me for interpretation. It's something that we've gotten used to. Otherwise, I really wouldn't stress about something that you don't know what will happen. And yes, I think if you tend to stick to the more diverse areas, you won't have any issues. Best of luck!

Lolol. That happens to my husband too. We have a large spanish population here and people come up to him speaking spanish! Our spanish customers that come into our store that think hes spanish at first, hear him get on the phone speaking arabic look at each other like "what is this"???? Hhhh

[MouadsWife 161]

Hi Smelserjl I know you're trying to wrap things up so I apologize for the reply, if you'd rather I start my own topic I'll respect that

I guess my question for everyone is how to deal with the questions/comments as they come? Do you use them as teachable moments or is there a certain point that you don't engage with people's assumptions?

I guess it always depends on what the question or comment is. My husband gets more questions than comments. Where are you from? Which leads to are you muslim? And then they are suprised and pleasantly pleased because of how nice he is. He changes the whole perception of muslims by who he is as a person. Alot of times you can find him pulling up a map of where he's from and showing it to a customer at work... talking about his culture. They like knowing about him. I'd say use it as teachable moments if its acceptable to the person listening.

[Smelserjl 137]

Hi Smelserjl I know you're trying to wrap things up so I apologize for the reply, if you'd rather I start my own topic I'll respect that

I guess my question for everyone is how to deal with the questions/comments as they come? Do you use them as teachable moments or is there a certain point that you don't engage with people's assumptions?

No no, no worries! I said that earlier because I was afraid people were going to start arguing about Islam and culture/religion, etc hahaaha

You actually pose an interesting question. I know that when I started my relationship with my husband, I was incredibly defensive. Even though my field of studies is Middle Eastern Studies and Islam and I knew alot of information, when people asked ignorant questions, I felt very hurt and easily irritated. I've learned to kind of calm down but I'm worried we'll be somewhere in public and someone will say something stupid, and I'll overreact. It's hard when you love someone not to jump to their defense like a guard dog, but I guess we all have to learn to control our emotions.

Lolol. That happens to my husband too. We have a large spanish population here and people come up to him speaking spanish! Our spanish customers that come into our store that think hes spanish at first, hear him get on the phone speaking arabic look at each other like "what is this"???? Hhhh

I told my husband that I think people's first assumption will be that he's Hispanic, but he doesn't think that's good either because he's read news and heard things about how Hispanic and Latin American immigrants are treated in the US