Experiences of Discrimination Against Immigrants

[Smelserjl 137]

Hi everyone,

We are finally nearing the end (hopefully) of this long and annoying immigration process. My husband's interview is scheduled for this coming Thursday. I know we still have AP to get through, but I'll just hope and pray it doesn't take too long.

While this is the least of my worries about when my husband is here, I keep thinking about how people will treat him. I live in a pretty rural area and my family is all evangelical Christian--he is Muslim and Egyptian. They've known we were together for 3 years and they're fine with it, but I can't shake the feeling that he'll be treated badly off and on while in the US (not specifically by my family!). I've told him that I think the closer we live to the city (DC for us), the less likely he is to experience anything bad since that area is pretty multicultural. He sees news periodically about anti-Muslim rallies (like the one in Phoenix yesterday) and the shootings in North Carolina, etc. He worries. And so do I.

Anyone experience these sorts of things? Any tips?

Edited May 30, 2015 by Smelserjl

[MouadsWife 161]

Well, you can't protect him. And your farther up north, there are quite a bit more muslims up north than there are where I live. Try living in the bible belt of good ole Alabama! My parents are Church of Christ. They resisted this whole relationship in the beginning, until they got to know him. We have faced our share of racism. Or rather 'I'. What has happened I have kept from from him. Slanderous remarks from our landlord, being turned down for housing, mostly that was the two biggies. Overall, he has been pretty much accepted and welcomed by our community. It was very difficult getting employment. Not having working history here. Doesn't matter what degrees you hold oversea's, without United States work history, your starting from the bottom... and it's even hard to get in from the bottom. We gave up trying, after applying to every place in the area. So we started our own business. We have a very successful Cell Phone Repair business and he has been accepted by our customers... many are very curious about where he came from. lol Even the Adhan goes off right on time in our business, and no one says a word, conversation goes right on as usual. Now this is a town with a church about every block! You are going to meet alot of ignorant people out there. What is important is, "What are you and your husband going to make out of your life?" What kind of example are you going to set? Don't spend your time worrying about what other people think. Because there's always going to be 'those' people out there. The more you stress about it, the more he will stress about it. Already he is worrying too much... just be happy and enjoy the life ahead of you. ;-)

Edited May 30, 2015 by MouadsWife

[Smelserjl 137]

Well, you can't protect him. And your farther up north, there are quite a bit more muslims up north than there are where I live. Try living in the bible belt of good ole Alabama! My parents are Church of Christ. They resisted this whole relationship in the beginning, until they got to know him. We have faced our share of racism. Or rather 'I'. What has happened I have kept from from him. Slanderous remarks from our landlord, being turned down for housing, mostly that was the two biggies. Overall, he has been pretty much accepted and welcomed by our community. It was very difficult getting employment. Not having working history here. Doesn't matter what degrees you hold oversea's, without United States work history, your starting from the bottom... and it's even hard to get in from the bottom. We gave up trying, after applying to every place in the area. So we started our own business. We have a very successful Cell Phone Repair business and he has been accepted by our customers... many are very curious about where he came from. lol Even the Adhan goes off right on time in our business, and no one says a word, conversation goes right on as usual. Now this is a town with a church about every block! You are going to meet alot of ignorant people out there. What is important is, "What are you and your husband going to make out of your life?" What kind of example are you going to set? Don't spend your time worrying about what other people think. Because there's always going to be 'those' people out there. The more you stress about it, the more he will stress about it. Already he is worrying too much... just be happy and enjoy the life ahead of you. ;-)

Thank you so much for your story. I know there isn't anything I can do about it, but I guess I worry he will hate it here and want to go back to Egypt. We pretty much already decided that we'd like to spend our life between both countries but settle here. You are right though, we are not in the Bible Belt--we're in Virginia. Some pockets seem worse than others. I'm glad you all were able to find a niche in your community and educate others about his culture and religion

[Boiler 45,525]

When in Rome comes to mind.

Most people are not that interested in your culture, if they ask then fair enough.

As far as I can recollect a few odd questions but not in depth discussions.

[Darnell 8,478]

i say study a map and find the nearest mosque and go in. this week or next. Talk with the Imam/Mullah there about 'enclaves' and 'geographic densities' and then have a conversation about seeking employment 'in the community'.

TBH, I'm surprised you not do that, yet. It's a big dealio.

[MouadsWife 161]

In his culture/religion. "I share the same religion", a wife does not just waltz into a mosque asking about employment or otherwise for her husband. Yes, she can find out, or as you say, 'map out' where the local mosque is... but a wife never oversteps her bounds by taking up that role and stepping on her husband's (cough).... especially in that religion. There will be plenty enough time for that when he gets here. When he gets acclimated, adjusted, meets the other members of the mosque, he can introduce himself to the Iman in due time when he feels comfortable. He has plenty enough time. But saying she should have already dont this is presumptuous and not knowing enough about that culture and religion. And its not a big deal.

Edited May 30, 2015 by MouadsWife

[MouadsWife 161]

i say study a map and find the nearest mosque and go in. this week or next. Talk with the Imam/Mullah there about 'enclaves' and 'geographic densities' and then have a conversation about seeking employment 'in the community'.

TBH, I'm surprised you not do that, yet. It's a big dealio.

Let's not and say we did....

[Boiler 45,525]

I think the idea was that this would be happening in the US not Egypt.

[MouadsWife 161]

That was my idea too.... I doesn't matter if its in usa or Eqypt... in Islam.. its simply not done. A wife never conducts personal business in leu of her husband. Or business of any matter. He will have plenty of time to do it for himself when he gets here.

[Boiler 45,525]

Not sure the OP fits into that category.

[MouadsWife 161]

Not sure the OP fits into that category.

And why? Did you read the OP'S first post? Her husband is muslim, same as my husband. Is there another Islam category that I'm not aware of? I live in this faith/religion/culture everyday. If he is a practicing muslim...he will have the same viewpoints. A wife doesn't step on a husbands toes in some areas. I mean she has every right to do as she wants. Every is to each his own. I was simply saying to others that not all cultures are the same, and when we marry into a culture we have to respect or adopt certain things outside the usual american norm. Her doing that, going to a mosque to ask about employment for her husband, would be considered a slap in the face to her husband to most 95% of muslim men.

Edited May 31, 2015 by MouadsWife

[Jawaree 717]

I think discriminations are meted out pretty much to everyone

be it nationality, color, race, or other reasons.

Focus on both of you & your marriage, you cannot shield him from

prejudices and can help him with ignoring negatives but assimilating

to this culture....don't worry about discriminations

[marriedguy 34]

He can change his name to a Christian name like Mike instead of Abdul.

I don't think most people mind.

Hi everyone,

We are finally nearing the end (hopefully) of this long and annoying immigration process. My husband's interview is scheduled for this coming Thursday. I know we still have AP to get through, but I'll just hope and pray it doesn't take too long.

While this is the least of my worries about when my husband is here, I keep thinking about how people will treat him. I live in a pretty rural area and my family is all evangelical Christian--he is Muslim and Egyptian. They've known we were together for 3 years and they're fine with it, but I can't shake the feeling that he'll be treated badly off and on while in the US (not specifically by my family!). I've told him that I think the closer we live to the city (DC for us), the less likely he is to experience anything bad since that area is pretty multicultural. He sees news periodically about anti-Muslim rallies (like the one in Phoenix yesterday) and the shootings in North Carolina, etc. He worries. And so do I.

Anyone experience these sorts of things? Any tips?

[MouadsWife 161]

My mom suggested the same thing for my husband. But it doesn't cover up middle eastern appearances and accent. I didnt want my husband to change the name his mother gave him. I don't think we should have to change our appearances or our names for society to accept us. Its ludicrous to go from normal to out of the box to be accepted. Ie for a muslim man to take a Christian name. People should stand firm for who they are.

[ghostusa 6]

My husband expressed some concerns to me when the Chapel Hill shootings happened. We talked and I assured him we are in a good place for him (Maryland) and he will do well just to be a good example and go about his business. Than he turned his worries on if I was safe...lol I love that man!!