TSC long distance relationship.

[126176b 2]

I need some hope. Long complaining message here.

Thank you for your time in advance.

I don't know where or who I can share these with.

Hate when every time I talked with my friend she always says why don't you just get married with visting visa. ..... :/ well. That's not right thing to do. But what the heel I'm suffering from doing the right thing ?

It's only been 62 days at my noa1. So like some of you said my k1 visa still a tiny fertilized egg in big busy mama TSC.

I just got into a fight with my fiancé. About the timing we talked. It seems theres never a right time for us to talk. Even messages on whatsapp he feels like I'm bothering him sometimes.

In my night time (his morning) he got bunch of works to do.

He told me he wanted to chat with me but he got cought into jobs chores friends family.

He felt he can't be here for me fully.

That bothers him.

End up he got nothing done. So distracting.

When he got time before bed.

Its my morning. I'm working.

I can't chat with him.

We're exactly 12 hours time different.

We only able to FaceTime durning weekend.

We love each other.

But we both hate to be tied down on our phone.

I try my best to reply his messages. He does the same

We Both like to reply friends messages 3 days late or even longer.

we're so not long distance relationship type of people

We're so good to be togeher in real life.

We didn't start our relationship with long distance.

We lived together for 2 years. Never be apart. Longest time always from each other was 3 days..

Knowing that we got something in the future waiting for us. I know what we have is so much better than other where-the-future-is Long distance relationship.... I know that and greatful for that.

But still I don't really know what to do here.

Miles away. 12 hours time differnces.

Phone hater.

Both have busy schedule.

Anyone having similar long distance issue ?

How do you guys stay in touch in miles away ?

TSC related question.

I saw theres flood damage in Texas.

Pardon me that I don't have time to find out more info on the internet. But I'm wondering will it effect TSC working ?

TSC please.

even married couple can't be separated for over a year. It's really killing me now. So painful. Hurt so much.

7 months TSC vs 1.5 months CSC .... :/ so not fair.

[Ash.1101 1,756]

It's hard, sadly though you have to work through it.

For your friends comment, I'm a fan of doing things the right way. I'd rather struggle through doing it the right way than make things worse by doing it the quick easy and wrong way. While not everyone gets punished for the whole coming in on a visitor and marry thing, I'd be my luck that I'd end up being that case.

I've always been in a LDR but have seen my fiance for a week or so once every two to three months since we started dating. Generally speaking, the only way a LDR works is if you can communicate, because for the most part all you really have is communication. For me though, my fiance have talked literally every single day for at least thirty minutes since the summer of 2012. I can say maybe there are only a total of four days where we couldn't talk due to being busy, but we still got good nights and good mornings. Generally speaking though since we have started dating, for the most part we talk all day when we can, even if we can't, we still send each other messages because we know we're both busy.

We try to make sure to skype at least once a day but try to go no more than three days seeing each other since our work schedules clash a lot now.

We try to talk when we can when our work schedules aren't so busy, but we both know why we're working so we don't really resent the busy-ness in our lives because we're both working for a better future for each other. (He works over time to save up so we can have even more of a savings to bring here, and I'm working as much as possible to make sure we're financially afloat when he does get here.)

LDR's take a certain mindset, at the end of that day you need to be focused on the end goal. My fiance hates that he can't be here for my daughter and myself but understands that we're in the process and when it's done it'll all be worth it. If I need any financial help, he's there to help, if I need a shoulder to cry on he's there to listen and vice versa.

I believe that everyone has the potential to handle an LDR, but there are some people who simply -need- that physical connection and can't handle being away from their spouse. I've actually seen relationships from friends that were fully functional when they're together in the same place, only to fall apart when they had to be apart.

A lot of people consider LDR's to be something that causes you to have a stronger emotional connection. We don't get to touch our loved one and have a chemical feel good release (oxytocin - https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/oxytocin), we just have to be able to be there on a mental level and be alright with that, and you essentially have to learn your partner on another level that you hadn't experienced before. There's a lot more trust involved because you're not in their everyday regular life anymore.

As for the you bothering him part, I actually feel like I bother my fiance a lot more than I should, but he's never felt like that I'm a bother because there's only ONE way to keep that connection and that's to talk. At no point ever has he told me I've bothered him, and he's never discouraged me messaging him. We both message each other at odd hours of the night (he works a shift that puts him home at 4am my time sometimes), but we always hammer on that it's okay to talk, if one of us gets busy it's just a "Hey I have to go this, I'll be back in like X time okay?" "Okie dokie!" But discouraging your only form of connection can discourage a lot more than ya'll talking.

As for the couples being seperated over a year, I'm used to that concept due to military family and experience. It can be done, it just requires a very strong communicative and mental relationship.

For my though, my phones my best friend because it's always the way we can contact each other even when we're not at the computer.

The flood damage is kind of wide spread and in random places. I know Dallas got hit hard but I don't think it hurt the TSC.

Edited May 24, 2015 by ash1101

[cdneh 3,112]

We were 18 months apart. Our time difference was 17 hours in the USA Summer, and 15 when it was winter. We were also on different days, as I was across the dateline, so his Monday was my Tuesday. I also worked 12 hour day and night shifts.

Nevertheless, somehow, we still had time, found it somewhere, it bits and pieces whenever we could. We would shoot off a text message, or an email when we got a minute, with the understanding that the other might only have the time to read it, and not reply, but it was contact. *ping* I am here, thinking of you there...

I would have 4 days off after four days on, and we talked pretty much non stop then, before the whole schedule ran another cycle.

We did what we could. It's all any of us can do, and in the end it was worth it. Totally.

[yuna628 9,677]

We have always been in an LDR, so we're very painfully used to it. An ocean apart and five hours difference is thankfully not as tremendously difficult in time difference logistics as it must be for you. Still, there have been many hard moments from being apart for so long. Fighting happens in any relationship, but communication is very key. We don't keep secrets, and we know when to give each other space. We've been through periods of time when we haven't been able to see each other for almost three years, and times when our phones or computers were down.

One constant has always remained. That we made a promise to each other, to never give up, no matter how hard it is, and to always find some way to communicate.

That's when we did things like write each other real letters, or emails daily. On weekends, finished up some things early, and found ways of chilling out together instead of constantly chatting (watch a movie or game together or stay up later on a weekend) Feeling like you're bothering each other is not too much of an issue for us, from time to time it can crop up, but usually at times of stress or outside factors causing us to be cranky.

Being in an LDR requires trust, communication, and respect (the same things you need in any relationship but dial it up a notch). Without those things, it gets rocky. Not everyone is cut out for it, but if you're devoted, challenges can be overcome.

Have either of you thought about visiting during this process? I know the expense can be a factor for it, but it's something to think about.

Unfortunately even married couples going through their own visa process are finding themselves separated for as long, if not even extremely longer.. so it's not unique to K1s.

I don't anticipate bad weather impacting TSC much, with the exception of some staff maybe going home early. The problem with TSC is the backlog and bad management and a system that needs an overhaul.

[Ning 619]

I need some hope. Long complaining message here.

Thank you for your time in advance.

I don't know where or who I can share these with.

Hate when every time I talked with my friend she always says why don't you just get married with visting visa. ..... :/ well. That's not right thing to do. But what the heel I'm suffering from doing the right thing ?

It's only been 62 days at my noa1. So like some of you said my k1 visa still a tiny fertilized egg in big busy mama TSC.

I just got into a fight with my fiancé. About the timing we talked. It seems theres never a right time for us to talk. Even messages on whatsapp he feels like I'm bothering him sometimes.

In my night time (his morning) he got bunch of works to do.

He told me he wanted to chat with me but he got cought into jobs chores friends family.

He felt he can't be here for me fully.

That bothers him.

End up he got nothing done. So distracting.

When he got time before bed.

Its my morning. I'm working.

I can't chat with him.

We're exactly 12 hours time different.

We only able to FaceTime durning weekend.

We love each other.

But we both hate to be tied down on our phone.

I try my best to reply his messages. He does the same

We Both like to reply friends messages 3 days late or even longer.

we're so not long distance relationship type of people

We're so good to be togeher in real life.

We didn't start our relationship with long distance.

We lived together for 2 years. Never be apart. Longest time always from each other was 3 days..

Knowing that we got something in the future waiting for us. I know what we have is so much better than other where-the-future-is Long distance relationship.... I know that and greatful for that.

But still I don't really know what to do here.

Miles away. 12 hours time differnces.

Phone hater.

Both have busy schedule.

Anyone having similar long distance issue ?

How do you guys stay in touch in miles away ?

TSC related question.

I saw theres flood damage in Texas.

Pardon me that I don't have time to find out more info on the internet. But I'm wondering will it effect TSC working ?

TSC please.

even married couple can't be separated for over a year. It's really killing me now. So painful. Hurt so much.

7 months TSC vs 1.5 months CSC .... :/ so not fair.

Many people come to the USA on tourist visa & marry while they are here. We see this constantly here on V J. It is perfectly legal to do so.

The question is really about staying after marrying. If a persons intent at the time of entrance into the USA is to return to their country then they may marry & leave to return later with a different visa.

I am not sure why you have her come to the USA for a visit? People from Japan don't need visas to visit the USA.

[ucijeepguy 3]

TSC related question.

I saw theres flood damage in Texas.

Pardon me that I don't have time to find out more info on the internet. But I'm wondering will it effect TSC working ?

I live in Allen, Texas and work near DFW airport. We have had a lot of rain, but the flooding that you may be seeing is mostly in central Texas, roughly 3 hours from TSC's Dallas location. There shouldn't be any reason why the rain and flooding would affect their operations.

[Unidentified 2,930]

I think LDR can be really hard if you have actually lived with the person before. Me and my fiance met while I was in the states on different visas, first year together we would hangout every weekend plus at least one weekday. Second year we lived together. Then the third year... LDR.

6 hour time difference which means when he comes home from work I go to bed. We use google hangout during the day and skype a few times a week. Like someone mentioned communication is the key.

The journey is going to be long and hard, see this as a chance to test the strength of your relationship. I've always told my fiance: if we can survive this, we can survive anything.

[AirConditioner515 15]

I need some hope. Long complaining message here.

Thank you for your time in advance.

I don't know where or who I can share these with.

Hate when every time I talked with my friend she always says why don't you just get married with visting visa. ..... :/ well. That's not right thing to do. But what the heel I'm suffering from doing the right thing ?

It's only been 62 days at my noa1. So like some of you said my k1 visa still a tiny fertilized egg in big busy mama TSC.

I just got into a fight with my fiancé. About the timing we talked. It seems theres never a right time for us to talk. Even messages on whatsapp he feels like I'm bothering him sometimes.

In my night time (his morning) he got bunch of works to do.

He told me he wanted to chat with me but he got cought into jobs chores friends family.

He felt he can't be here for me fully.

That bothers him.

End up he got nothing done. So distracting.

When he got time before bed.

Its my morning. I'm working.

I can't chat with him.

We're exactly 12 hours time different.

We only able to FaceTime durning weekend.

We love each other.

But we both hate to be tied down on our phone.

I try my best to reply his messages. He does the same

We Both like to reply friends messages 3 days late or even longer.

we're so not long distance relationship type of people

We're so good to be togeher in real life.

We didn't start our relationship with long distance.

We lived together for 2 years. Never be apart. Longest time always from each other was 3 days..

Knowing that we got something in the future waiting for us. I know what we have is so much better than other where-the-future-is Long distance relationship.... I know that and greatful for that.

But still I don't really know what to do here.

Miles away. 12 hours time differnces.

Phone hater.

Both have busy schedule.

Anyone having similar long distance issue ?

How do you guys stay in touch in miles away ?

TSC related question.

I saw theres flood damage in Texas.

Pardon me that I don't have time to find out more info on the internet. But I'm wondering will it effect TSC working ?

TSC please.

even married couple can't be separated for over a year. It's really killing me now. So painful. Hurt so much.

7 months TSC vs 1.5 months CSC .... :/ so not fair.

Effort.

One of the most important requirements in a relationship.

I've seen relationships fall apart due to either person A or person B's lack of effort. Eventually it just turns into things becoming a hassle or one person becoming lazy in the relationship.

And especially in a long distance relationship, effort is extremely crucial.

This isn't a comparison post and I don't mean to make comparisons. But, I'm in the same boat as you. We have a 11/12 hour time difference (changes depending on daylight savings time), so like in your case, when it's morning here, it's nightime where my fiancee lives.

But, I will make every single effort to communicate with her and dull the pain of the TSC processing time and our time apart.

Whether it's a simple 5 minute call when I'm eating breakfast, skype chat on my drive to work, setting the alarm early on a weekend so I can wakeup and call her, etc. If you truly love the person, you'll put in the time and effort to do. There is no such thing as "didn't have time." You'll make time and the effort if you love the person. You really need to communicate with your fiance about this.

No one likes being apart for literally 7-8 months. My fiancee and I are 'phone haters' as well. When I lived in Korea for 2 years, we saw each other literally everyday. No one likes to be separated, forced to live apart, and adapt to a phone relationship. But it's what we have to do until her visa is approved.

But this is something you and your fiance have to accept and adjust to. The TSC process is grueling and truly tests the bond of your relationship. This is just one test.

Edited May 25, 2015 by AirConditioner515

[mallafri76 1,012]

We call a lot but we always find it easier with emails. We communicate a lot via emails, like 30 to 50 emails a day. Just whatever we think about, we shot off an email. That's easy to do even though you're working or out and about.

It seems as though the K-1 process is moving along a little faster now, so perhaps your visa is just around the corner? Even though it's tough now, try focusing on the wonderful time you have ahead once you can move over. Put your mind onto planning your move, work on your CV and prepare for your future life in the US. Keeping your mind busy really helps.

[ambrolla 4]

I need some hope. Long complaining message here.

Thank you for your time in advance.

I don't know where or who I can share these with.

Hate when every time I talked with my friend she always says why don't you just get married with visting visa. ..... :/ well. That's not right thing to do. But what the heel I'm suffering from doing the right thing ?

It's only been 62 days at my noa1. So like some of you said my k1 visa still a tiny fertilized egg in big busy mama TSC.

I just got into a fight with my fiancé. About the timing we talked. It seems theres never a right time for us to talk. Even messages on whatsapp he feels like I'm bothering him sometimes.

In my night time (his morning) he got bunch of works to do.

He told me he wanted to chat with me but he got cought into jobs chores friends family.

He felt he can't be here for me fully.

That bothers him.

End up he got nothing done. So distracting.

When he got time before bed.

Its my morning. I'm working.

I can't chat with him.

We're exactly 12 hours time different.

We only able to FaceTime durning weekend.

We love each other.

But we both hate to be tied down on our phone.

I try my best to reply his messages. He does the same

We Both like to reply friends messages 3 days late or even longer.

we're so not long distance relationship type of people

We're so good to be togeher in real life.

We didn't start our relationship with long distance.

We lived together for 2 years. Never be apart. Longest time always from each other was 3 days..

Knowing that we got something in the future waiting for us. I know what we have is so much better than other where-the-future-is Long distance relationship.... I know that and greatful for that.

But still I don't really know what to do here.

Miles away. 12 hours time differnces.

Phone hater.

Both have busy schedule.

Anyone having similar long distance issue ?

How do you guys stay in touch in miles away ?

TSC related question.

I saw theres flood damage in Texas.

Pardon me that I don't have time to find out more info on the internet. But I'm wondering will it effect TSC working ?

TSC please.

even married couple can't be separated for over a year. It's really killing me now. So painful. Hurt so much.

7 months TSC vs 1.5 months CSC .... :/ so not fair.

Hey!

I'm sorry to hear all of this! I've been in a long distance relationship since the beginning and it was hard. Really hard. This winter I thought that I want to break with him because I didn't see that he would come to USA (he didn't want to go to USA) and that our relationship would improve. But he decided to move and so here I am.

During the weekends we would play games online (multiplayer) and watch movies together. Also, he used to read some bedtime story before I went to bed. We would send letters to each other (I'll miss that) and we are calling each other constantly. Oh, also sometimes we eat and sleep while skype is on just because I miss him and so as he. Russia and USA time differences is 7-8 hours. So, we are trying to make it work because we are together. You guys will make it, I believe in you!