Strange Pregnancy - Need Help

[az143 22]

Hello everyone,

This question is directed to anyone of Haitian descent. Let me preface this by saying that I am very aware that different cultures have different beliefs and all I am looking for is someone who can confirm this belief who is Haitian. Please bear with with me on this. My fiance is from Haiti and has recently shared with me that he has a 4 month old baby with a woman he claims he has not seen in 3.5 years. He states that this woman and him were sexually involved and that she got pregnant with his baby. But that the woman had complications and that the baby did not develop until 13 months ago and she finally gave birth in January 2015. This is the most absurd thing I have ever heard and have consulted with doctors who of course tell me this is impossible.

Him and I met 9 months ago, so if him and this woman were together it was before I was in the picture. So if the baby is his, no problem. I accept it and life goes on. But can someone please shed some light on this story that he is telling me. Has anyone ever heard of this? He is upset with me because I don't believe his story. I don't understand why he would lie, being that is was before we met. So it would have no implications on our relationship. He also claims that his mother says the same thing happened to her.

I hope someone on here can help me out. I can accept the baby, but not his story.

Best Regards,

Z

[charmed2006 31]

I believe you got the accurate answer from the doctors

[az143 22]

Thank God I have a good sense of humor. Guys, I am a very educated woman very close to 40. But right now I am just looking for someone from Haiti who has ever heard of this.

[Ash.1101 1,756]

Tbqh, if he is upset that you don't believe this insane lie then... well he could lie to you about a lot worse.


NORMALLY, the longest between sex and implantation is a couple of weeks. Sperm can, depending on some studies, live in the woman anywhere from a week to 9 or 10 days, so at any point there if she ovulated she could end up becoming pregnant without having sex within those last 9-10 days.


But seriously though, If I was with a guy who thought I was stupid enough that his sperm could live in this woman for a year, with bathing, periods and expulsion of the uterine lining. I'd leave him.


There are some things that are red flags for how someone will treat another in a relationship. This is def one of them.


Edit: Biology isn't a cultural or a regional thing. Her body works the same as yours, his sperm works the same as most normal men in the world. Being Haitian should have absolutely no effect on sperm living inside a woman for over a year. If this guy were from any other country or a country that is more educated per se, would you believe it?

That said, I'm pretty sure even third world cultures know how creating a baby works. Yeah they may think a baby is an incarnation of god, but most people, even under educated or third world country people who have strict religious beliefs generally know how conception works, we've been doing it for quite a long time!


Edit edit: At the same time though I would honestly have a hard time being able to be with someone who believed they could get impregnanted by a man 2 and a half years after the deed is done. What other belief's could they have that is generally considered wrong on all ends of the spectrums.

Edited May 22, 2015 by ash1101

[Boiler 45,417]

More significantly if we put the story to one side, is that he will of course need to put the child on his application and having such a young child will raise questions. Is he looking to bring the child with him?

[Lemonslice 4,809]

Thank God I have a good sense of humor. Guys, I am a very educated woman very close to 40. But right now I am just looking for someone from Haiti who has ever heard of this.

Being educated, you know it's not biologically possible. Most cultures have "explanations" about sudden pregnancy out of wedlock. Believing something does not make it real.

Edited May 22, 2015 by Boston~Montreal

[yuna628 9,666]

This hasn't anything to do being from where he is from, my dear. This has everything to do with him cheating on you though, and lying, and... sending up a lot of red flags. So, if you are a smart woman, that knows simple math and reproduction, you know that what he's saying to you is a lie... and not even a good one. I mean, I've had some men tell me some doozies... but this... For your own sanity, for your own safety, even for your own sexual health, back far away.

Unless of course he will then tell you he was a sperm donor (no I'm not being facetious). Because seriously, that's the only magical way this could have happened.

So to answer your question: no, it's not possible.

[JR loves JR 196]

My husband is from Haiti and says that he's never heard a story like that. He says that your fiancé needs to be real with you because that story is unbelievable. It's definitely not something most (if any) Haitians actually believe.

[NikLR 13,227]

It's possible that he's uneducated about how reproduction works and believes a lie that some lady told him.

or

It's possible that he's lying to you about when the relationship ended.

it's up to you what to do with that information. I hope you do what's best for you. Best of luck.

[lala64 93]

I know when you are in love sometimes your judgment of that person is clouded by that love and you would give anything to believe them. However in light of the jokes on here, I have been a labor and delivery nurse for many many years and this is so far fetched. I would have more respect for your fiancé for saying he messed up and 13 months ago he cheated or had an affair and begged your forgiveness then to play with your intelligence. Haitian or not we are human and as humans we don't reproduce in that manner sperm can only live up to 72 hours if It doesn't make its way to an egg to fertilize and that my dear is the truth. Now whether or not you want to forgive him and move on with your relationship or forget him and move on with your life, is something only you can decide but this conjured up story about this 4 month old child is sad to say the least and shows no regard for you. good luck.

[FabieetDavid 10]

I am from Haiti, born and raised and I have never heard of this. And never heard anything like that from my parents or grandparents

[nane1104 146]

OP clearly stated she doesn't believe his story. She wanted to hear if other people have heard of someone using this "explanation" since his mother apparently talk just as crazy. Seems like it's in the family.

OP, as tough as it is, you need to let go. Nothing good will come out of this relationship with him.

He sounds like, if he tells the story often enough, he convinced himself it's the truth and expects you to believe it too. People like this can get pretty upset if you don't but their bs. I'm talking from experience with a family member...

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Hello everyone,

This question is directed to anyone of Haitian descent. Let me preface this by saying that I am very aware that different cultures have different beliefs and all I am looking for is someone who can confirm this belief who is Haitian. Please bear with with me on this. My fiance is from Haiti and has recently shared with me that he has a 4 month old baby with a woman he claims he has not seen in 3.5 years. He states that this woman and him were sexually involved and that she got pregnant with his baby. But that the woman had complications and that the baby did not develop until 13 months ago and she finally gave birth in January 2015. This is the most absurd thing I have ever heard and have consulted with doctors who of course tell me this is impossible.

Him and I met 9 months ago, so if him and this woman were together it was before I was in the picture. So if the baby is his, no problem. I accept it and life goes on. But can someone please shed some light on this story that he is telling me. Has anyone ever heard of this? He is upset with me because I don't believe his story. I don't understand why he would lie, being that is was before we met. So it would have no implications on our relationship. He also claims that his mother says the same thing happened to her.

I hope someone on here can help me out. I can accept the baby, but not his story.

Best Regards,

Z

Yes, in Haitian folk religion/medicine many villagers believe in "perdition", a baby trapped for years in the mothers womb.

Here is a book about it >>>> http://users.clas.ufl.edu/murray/research/haiti/Phantom_Child_in_Haitian_Voodoo.pdf

Anthropologists have studied this belief.

It can be used to mask infidelity on the women's part or serves to prevent a breakup while trying to keep the man with her, she also must tell any new

husband that she is in "perdition" from a previous relationship. Some symptoms actually come with it, perhaps brought on by psychological

pressures as in psychosomatic signs and symptoms. Entire villages truly believe this is happening.

Read through the pages and it may make better sense to you.

It is very difficult to convince some people that such deep rooted beliefs are untrue and it would take time to steer them to reality once

they are no longer in such an environment.

It does not surprise me, I have heard other (to us ridiculous) claims from other cultures and because they believe it and aren't as educated as

we are in medicine doesn't mean that they are dishonest.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

OK. Let me be completely honest. I did not read through the thread but only original post. Let me answer, given that I have PhD in Biology from UCLA and many years of science research. It has nothing to do with Haiti. And, no, OP, clearly you are not educated. There is no possibility in the world for pregnancy to go over 10 months. 9 month is normal.2 weeks over is abnormality. At 10 month baby would be dead. So way in the world. You were lied to. Just read books. This is very basic.

OP stated clearly that she doesn't believe the story so stop calling her not educated. It's not about telling her it's medically impossible.

She knows that.

The guy didn't cover up an infidelity as she stated according to her meeting timeline and he had no reason to lie, it's his belief.

Had you read the whole thread you would not have missed the link I posted previously about Haitian religious beliefs.

It has everything to do with Haiti and you need to read some books about Anthropologists who studied this and termed it perdition.

Of course it is not true but that doesn't mean that many villagers don't wholeheartedly believe in perdition and to them it exists.

This is a board with SO's from every nook and cranny of the world.

Why is it so difficult to understand that the OP wanted some cultural feedback on this and what it may be rooted in ?

Just because they are dating a USC does not mean they all of a sudden forsake all their indigenous beliefs and customs and become

overnight experts in obvious (to us) medical truths.

Many date/marry educated foreigners but many also date/marry people from villages that aren't as educated and insist on weird

beliefs that we find super silly. So what !

I am sure others here will have their own crazy cultural stories.

Now you go read this book to understand the Haitian/African phenomenon known as perdition here : http://users.clas.ufl.edu/murray/research/haiti/Phantom_Child_in_Haitian_Voodoo.pdf

Lets stop counting from conception to delivery and focus on the core of OP's question.

[lost_at_sea 995]

It's fascinating! Thanks, Ebonoluwa!

Some further reading:

https://books.google.com/books?id=a8EbP8W6wcoC&pg=PA58&lpg=PA58&dq=what+is+perdition+pregnancy&source=bl&ots=FB2L2ua_aD&sig=ilaGzAXMmhTElt2PZ-tijE_j08Q&hl=en&sa=X&ei=PcJeVbnzJoPcoAS9xYCQAQ&ved=0CEgQ6AEwBw#v=onepage&q=what%20is%20perdition%20pregnancy&f=false

https://books.google.com/books?id=hJCf6m5VLdQC&pg=PA110&lpg=PA110&dq=haitian+perdition&source=bl&ots=0_cX9mWUXM&sig=xNf7a0UrmOnga38QyyOCCsf1lRk&hl=en&sa=X&ei=R8FeVbSSFYmQoQTgqYCACw&ved=0CDkQ6AEwBg#v=onepage&q=haitian%20perdition&f=false