The Thread Formerly Known as The Rant!!

[SAT 9,609]

If you want me to laugh at that it will be fiddy bucks!

fiddy bucks? whataya tarklin crazy??

That's like asking Tark to pay for a car wash!

[TBoneTX 45,572]

Happy Birthday?

Is that a question or a command, huh ma'am?

I dunno what morons these guys are. If they want "El Cheapo", just go to Tarklars house.

I might as well turn Tark in and collect the reward.....

They'd say, "You caught the wrong WCG," sorry man.

A man does not wish another man a happy birthday.

Then caveman-grunt, comply man: "Uhn. Burfday. Uhn."

There was this gay couple. It was 1 guys birthday.

So the other guy, bent over and drops his pants....

"Honey, there zomefing in fhere....can you fee what it is?"

So the other guy sticks his finger in his butt; "I don't feel nothing dear"

First guy; "Honey, fheres zomefing in fhere....go deeper baby..."

So the guy goes deeper....

"Ooh...wait, I feel something...it's, it's....<gasp> it's a Rolex!"

The first guy starts wriggling his azz and sings; "happy....birthday to you...."

What did Steveklar say, huh man? We have him on ignore again....

Tark needs some friends locally that will prep and give over a case of adult diapers (depends, one brand comes to mind) and a paid up membership to AARP. I'm sad for him, really, he not have these friends. #QualityOfLife

Plenty of adult diapers available at ESs, Bro D man. And we are only a Manygenarian rather than a Manygenarian, see D man.

[TBoneTX 45,572]

Bull! Ya cheapskate!

Fotos or it isn't a cheap bull on skates, see or no ma'am.

What do you call that leg bone in England? A femour?

It rhymes with the little monkey, the lemour, see man.

If you want me to laugh at that it will be Many bucks!

Fee corrected, $i ma'am.

Many bucks? whataya tarklin crazy??

That's like asking Tark to pay for a car wash!

What did Steveklar say, huh man? We have him on ignore again....

[TBoneTX 45,572]

End-birthday end-report, see man:

Absolutely lousy day at office, grrr man.

See earlier half-report, see man, and multiply by Many, grrr man.

Casa-ward commute obliterated by headache, grrr man.

At casa, workman just finished scraping mildew off front of casa, good job man.

Mini-B. all excited about Daddy's birthday, wee man.

Mini-B. jockeying for piece of cake, Eat Dessert First wee man.

Tiff Mrs. T-B. made us churrasco, look it up Google is your amigo see man.

Ours thoughtfully had French fries substituted for rice, whee man.

Mrs. T-B. & Mini-B. then sang "Happy Birthday" in no perceptible key, no key man.

Mini-B. then blew out candles and dove into piece of cake, happy wee man.

Played briefly with Mini-B., we play wee man.

Mrs. T-B. then permitted us a nap, much-needed zzz man.

We, but not cat, napped like an illegitimate male child, we not miu zzz man.

We barely awoke in time for late TV news, that good of zzz man.

Dished the warsher, record amount of silverware sigh man.

Conversed with Mrs. T-B. about El Chapo et al., etc. man.

Comforted Mini-B. after nightmare, scared wee man.

De-dish cat prep zzz man.

Two or even Many nearby GSs in morning, whee man.

Mornin', non-Commie PTDS and non-babes with +1 inventories!

[Ontarkie 14,294]

We are packing up the stuff we don't need this morning so we can visit and relax later! See you all when I get home!

Hey ! Onatarkle ! What news back at the homestead? anything burn down? Complaints from the neighbors? Fresh Roadkill in the smokehouse?

They are all doing good. The second oldest went to a concert in Dallas last weekend. The younger of the three told us to stay another 2 weeks he likes the peace and quiet.

Happy Summer

Just wanted to stop by and say Hi

Hope everyone is doing well.

Sorry to hear about your Divorce Darnell. I hope most of all that you are doing okay!

Hi Hikergirl! Hope all is well!

We haven't heard from that lazy yokel stretch in 2 days, we should disown her.

And that Asia too, how dare her not post Poland pics now....

I've been busy need to get work done and see the last bit of friends ya know!!

LPoP and unread, no see man, but:

1. Lazy, LAZY Ontarklar! Disowned, DISOWNED Ontarklar!

2. Unposted Asia! Unposted, UNPOSTED Asia!

Pfff You can't disown me!!! You wouldn't get all the commission I've made in the last two days

Hump and pre-Birthday wrap-report, Hump birth wrap man:

Nearly completed another corporate POTS contract, work man.

Casa-ward commute hampered by breakdown but got better, improvement man.

Got to casa at around usual time, arrive man.

Helium balloon bumping on ceiling said, "Happy Pre-Birthday, Si man," see man.

Mini-B. jovial, wee man.

Mrs. T-B. dressed to the Manys, 2x2x2+1s she man.

We pile in Mrs.-T-B.-mobile for pre-birthday dinner, piles man.

We go to place that Mrs. T-B. & we had once enjoyed pre-Mini-B., just we & she man.

Arrive at Many:Many p.m., hungry man.

We are ONLY dinner customers beside a few bar customers, captive audience man.

Young waitress with nearly zero personality comes for orders, dim she man.

We ask, "Of this & this & this, what is the most food, huh man?"

She says, "We don't have this & this & this; we're redoing the menus."

We ask, "OK -- what on the menu is the most food, huh man?"

She says, "Probably the nachos," answer man.

We order the nachos, si man.

Mrs. T-B. orders a Philly Cheesesteak with extra fries, she man.

We wait, wait man.

We wait more, more wait man.

We wait longer, longer wait man.

After nearly half an hour, we inquire as to status of order, update man.

Waitress says, "I'll go back and see," see she man.

Waitress never returns.

After fully half an hour, we inquire as to status of order, update man.

Waitress inquires and says, "In a few minutes," answer man.

We ask her to define "few," losing patience man.

Waitress says, "Two to Many (2+2+1)," she man, and leaves.

Mrs. T-B. says, "I bet it's more than Many," she man.

We agree to walk out if it's more than Many, agree man.

At exactly Many minutes, waitress brings basket (!) of nachos, miracle man.

Basket holds Dorito-like cheaps with toppings on exactly Many (2+2+2) of them, sigh man.

Mrs. T-B. & Mini-B. begin eating it all up, ingest she & wee man.

After all topped cheaps are eaten, Philly Cheesesteak with fries arrives, miracle man.

Bun is barely larger than a hot-dog bun, paltry man.

Fries are glistening with obvious grease, incipient atherosclerosis man.

Mini-B. enthusiastically eats the fries, ingest wee man.

We and Mrs. T-B. unenthusiastically eat the rest, unenthused we and she ingest man.

Waitress says, "We'll take the sandwich off the bill 'cause it was so late," small amends man.

We pay and leave, sigh man.

Would have had more food & fun opening cans at the casa, genuinely man.

Place has some nerve advertising paltry stuff at entree prices, rip-off man.

We go through Burger King drive-through for ice cream, small solace man.

Mini-B. asks when we're going out to the restaurant for dinner, ironic wee man.

Mrs. T-B. rather bummed, understatement she man.

Return to casa, everyone man.

Barely enough time for attempted nap, we zzz man.

Cat joins but promptly wants out, bye miu man.

We abandon nap after just Many fruitless minutes, fruitless zzz man.

We make remaining lunches for week, job of husband man.

We brush cat after Many days, half coming out in brush miu man.

We kiss Mini-B. goodnight, bedtime wee man.

Mrs. T-B. remains bummed, disappointed she man.

After above feast, we have gained nearly Many pounds, insult to injury man.

Happy birthday as of midnight, we man.

We are officially Many years old, precisely man.

Mrs. T-B.'s surgical consult in morn, pre-slice & dice she man.

Cat (?) prep zzz man.

Mornin', non-distaff Commie- or non-babes with PTDS +1 inventories!

Happy Birthday! Sorry about the lousy pre birthday supper!

I couldn't wish you a happy birthday earlier I wasn't at a computer

Oh no....they cancelled stretches show, no wonder she hasn't been around.....


https://gma.yahoo.com/josh-duggar-19-kids-counting-cancelled-145446370--abc-news-tv.html

If I was 15yrs younger I could give them a run for their money

[Jacque67 7,328]

End-birthday end-report, see man:

Absolutely lousy day at office, grrr man.

See earlier half-report, see man, and multiply by Many, grrr man.

Casa-ward commute obliterated by headache, grrr man.

At casa, workman just finished scraping mildew off front of casa, good job man.

Mini-B. all excited about Daddy's birthday, wee man.

Mini-B. jockeying for piece of cake, Eat Dessert First wee man.

Tiff Mrs. T-B. made us churrasco, look it up Google is your amigo see man.

Ours thoughtfully had French fries substituted for rice, whee man.

Mrs. T-B. & Mini-B. then sang "Happy Birthday" in no perceptible key, no key man.

Mini-B. then blew out candles and dove into piece of cake, happy wee man.

Played briefly with Mini-B., we play wee man.

Mrs. T-B. then permitted us a nap, much-needed zzz man.

We, but not cat, napped like an illegitimate male child, we not miu zzz man.

We barely awoke in time for late TV news, that good of zzz man.

Dished the warsher, record amount of silverware sigh man.

Conversed with Mrs. T-B. about El Chapo et al., etc. man.

Comforted Mini-B. after nightmare, scared wee man.

De-dish cat prep zzz man.

Two or even Many nearby GSs in morning, whee man.

Mornin', non-Commie PTDS and non-babes with +1 inventories!

Sounds great;)

[SAT 9,609]

Ah there's stretch.....she's alive and kicking.

It's nice walking into a familiar restaurant, coffee handed to me, tea poured....

Except the idiots pestering me.....

[Darnell 8,478]

minus 219 points for not tasering folksen inside the place, SAT. hahaha

[NikLR 13,228]

Happy belated birthday Tbone!

[SAT 9,609]

All right, the weather is borderline for fishing.....

What am I gonna do....

[Jacque67 7,328]

All right, the weather is borderline for fishing.....

What am I gonna do....

Hunt for Moby #######.

[TBoneTX 45,572]

1. Pfff You can't disown me!!! You wouldn't get all the commission I've made in the last two days

2. Happy Birthday! Sorry about the lousy pre birthday supper!

Many. I couldn't wish you a happy birthday earlier I wasn't at a computer

Many. If I was Many yrs younger I could give them a run for their money

1. You're so late with the commissions that you owe us interest, grrr D ma'am.

2. Gracias, D ma'am.

Many. Bad Ontarklar! Bad, BAD Ontarklar!

Many. If you were Many years younger, you'd be jailbait or even a zygote, D ma'am.

Sounds great;)

Gracias, J ma'am.

[TBoneTX 45,572]

Happy belated birthday Tbone!

Gracias, Niki-B. ma'am. (We originally read this as "happy blasted birthday," which they're rapidly becoming, egad man.)

Hunt for Moby #######.

Definition for the Day, see man:

Optimist, n. - a guy who goes out in a canoe to look for Moby-Dicque, armed with a harpoon and a jar of tartar sauce.

Edited July 17, 2015 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 45,572]

Part-Friday & Early GS Report, Thrilling Material See Man:

Cat showed up for pre-bedtime brushing, back to regular schedule we & miu man.

Mini-B. awakened again after nightmare, wee man.

Begged us to sleep in bed with him, tearful wee man.

Should play hardball on this, si man.

However, plaintiveness won out, soft heart man.

And what if, on our deathbed or after we're gone, his lasting memory of us is

"Daddy wouldn't comfort us when we were Many years old and scared," huh man?

Awoke needing nap, in current back-pain, and in new knee-pain, open a joint account man.

Knee still hurts for unknown reason, good grief man.

Hit two GSs at front of inbound commute, see them man.

Nothing at GS #1, no man.

At GS #2, got 2-pack of Many-volt alkaline batteries, good for Many years, for $1, deal man.

Inbound commute irritating, turtles driving abreast grrrrrrrrrrr man.

Might finish most corporate POTS contracts today, grrr man.

Must return to easy, single-step-consummatable individual POTS sales, whee man.

Massive demand, glee man.

Shall focus on same, $i man.

Afternoon, non-Commie or Commie-babes or -nonbabes with +1 inventories!

[NikLR 13,228]

Went to water park with kiddo. Had lots of fun. Am a little burnt. Worst part of day was my shorts decided to rub the inside of my leg absolutely raw. Very painful. Dunno why it happened besides the fact that I'm larger than last time I wore said shorts when they were wet all day.

Traffic home was also painful (33 min drive there took 1.25 hrs back. Rush hour hell.)