fiance having doubts, want to delay application at London

[CamillaAuch93 0]

Hi,

My fiance had a huge doubt last night and said he wanted to split up, in the end he agreed to take a step back, as we have been arguing and distance is destroying us.

My interview is on Monday 18th May at 13.00, so Next week!!!! I agreed to go out to visit in June and September and as far as we aware we are putting the visa "on hold" while we sort our issues.obviously i cannot do the interview on Monday and then go.visit without getting married.

Is there a way to ask the embassy to maybe push my application back and resume in say 6 months time? Or is this not a possibility? Will we have to forfeit our entire visa progress?

So scared I will lose my boyfriend now, I am panicking

[CamillaAuch93 0]

We have agreed to meet for 3 weeks on June 18th. and then again in September, both in the USA.

I dont think we can go through the whole process from the start again. It might break us. I am so scared

[Jack2107 46]

You could possibly change the appointment but by how long I'm not sure. There's no way to put it on hold tbh except do this as you have already passed NVC Center stage.

If you have spilt from your fiancé then you can't use the K1

Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

[Jack2107 46]

What I don't understand is, if the distance is killing the relationship then why not have the interview next week then be married and be together.

Sounds strange and confusing and the story is not making sense.

[wbeem 568]

I wonder if you may benefit more from spending the time together and re-filing. I wouldn't even have accepted the proposal if I had any doubts or uncertainties at all.

Re-filing if and when you are both ready may take an extra 6 months or more, but could spare you a lot of heartache and expense. It's a lifelong commitment. Take the time and be sure.

[LORIEandPHIL 123]

You have already paid the fees, go to the interview and use it to travel to the US. If everything works once you are together you can get married as you had originally planned. If things dont work out you can fly home brfore the 90 days are up. Using the visa would not make any difference to you both applying again at a later date, if that was what you both wanted.

[CamillaAuch93 0]

So @laurieandphil..

If i get the visa and we dont use it on this trip in June 17. We can reapply from the start at a later date, without having any issues because we didnt get married previously on the K1 when i entered in June???

[Howeetest D 18]

So @laurieandphil..

If i get the visa and we dont use it on this trip in June 17. We can reapply from the start at a later date, without having any issues because we didnt get married previously on the K1 when i entered in June???

No. Once you get a Visa it will be in your passport. Once it's in there you HAVE to use it the next time you enter the states. If you still wish to get the visa and use it in June, don't forget you have three months to get married. You could spend the majority of that reconciling your differences (which seem to be more on his side) and then hopefully get married after that.

The other option could be, still go to interview next week. Get him to come here to see you as you have 6 months from the medical before you have to enter the states. That way you can spend time together, more than once (if he comes twice) and won't have to go through the long process again. If the distance has weighed heavily on your relationship this time, going through the process again isn't really gonna help now is it?

Those are my suggestions, hopefully you'll be able to figure out what you want to do before Monday.

P.s Is it really fair if you're the one flying to see him both the times (unless he is unable to come see you)?

[Marco&Bettina 502]

No. Once you get a Visa it will be in your passport. Once it's in there you HAVE to use it the next time you enter the states. If you still wish to get the visa and use it in June, don't forget you have three months to get married. You could spend the majority of that reconciling your differences (which seem to be more on his side) and then hopefully get married after that.

The other option could be, still go to interview next week. Get him to come here to see you as you have 6 months from the medical before you have to enter the states. That way you can spend time together, more than once (if he comes twice) and won't have to go through the long process again. If the distance has weighed heavily on your relationship this time, going through the process again isn't really gonna help now is it?

Those are my suggestions, hopefully you'll be able to figure out what you want to do before Monday.

P.s Is it really fair if you're the one flying to see him both the times (unless he is unable to come see you)?

You offered sound advice. But you shouldn't conclude that the "differences seem to be more on his side." You don't know his side of the stories. He's merely the one pulling the plug.

OP, I hope you 2 can work it out. The Visa is what all the struggles have been for. It is supposed to be the means to end the pain of waiting. I recommend the 2 of you reconcile your differences & then you come on the Visa. If you can't figure it out within 90 days, just return to your home country. And whatever you do, DO NOT OVERSTAY.

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

Use this form to postpone the interview http://london.usembassy.gov/niv/visa_contact_form.html

In the explanation say you are having to resolve some personal issues that have come up and you will not be able to interview and complete the visa process for a few months.

Go visit in June and see what is up. He said he wanted to break up. It sounds like you talked him I to giving it a chance. Maybe he really wants to end it and doesn't know how to be honest. Maybe your visit will give you some answers. Figure it out in June. Adding September to the mix is probably not going to help. If things turn around and you suddenly decide to marry while you are there, you can stay and adjust status.

[Boiler 45,525]

If things turn around and you suddenly decide to marry while you are there, you can stay and adjust status.

How does that meld with the TOC?

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

How does that meld with the TOC?

I don't know, but am I advocating doing anything illegal? She has no plan to do anything but visit in June and Sept. She could have a visa in a week so there is really no pre-planned intention to bypass immigration laws. But if plans suddenly change, there are options.

[wbeem 568]

CamillaAuch, this must be a very difficult time for you. This is just a thought, but when you two get the chance to talk things through, try and find out the reasons for his hesitation. It may not have anything to do with you or even with your relationship. I don't know how old you and your fiance are or how much you have traveled or been far from home before, but don't underestimate the impact that the prospect of leaving what has always been 'home' can have on someone. Obviously this is something only the two of you can sort out between yourselves and we can make practical suggestions, but the personal details are between you.

See if you can find out what is worrying him. And if moving away features in there, start putting measures in place to try and make the transition easier for him. There are many things you can do to help with this.

I believe that we should feel with our hearts, but life changing decisions should be made with our heads.

[Jack2107 46]

CamillaAuch, this must be a very difficult time for you. This is just a thought, but when you two get the chance to talk things through, try and find out the reasons for his hesitation. It may not have anything to do with you or even with your relationship. I don't know how old you and your fiance are or how much you have traveled or been far from home before, but don't underestimate the impact that the prospect of leaving what has always been 'home' can have on someone. Obviously this is something only the two of you can sort out between yourselves and we can make practical suggestions, but the personal details are between you.

See if you can find out what is worrying him. And if moving away features in there, start putting measures in place to try and make the transition easier for him. There are many things you can do to help with this.

I believe that we should feel with our hearts, but life changing decisions should be made with our heads.

So true.

And if your partner has broken up with you and care so much about that, then concentrate on the relationship and not a visa to America.

The story doesn't add up in my mind that your so focused on the visa to America rather than the actual relationship.

Go over and sort things out and what is meant to be will be.

Stop focusing on the visa because what are you going to do if you do get married and file a I-130 then toue partner does back out. That defiantly wouldn't look good or make you feel any better

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Emigrating for someone is a huge move. I know for me that I wouldn't have done it if we weren't both certain it was what we wanted....