Interesting Feedback on Unwanted Attention At Work

[one...two...tree 2,762]

DEAR ABBY: Regarding the letter from "Plain Jane in Texas" (Jan. 5), who complained about male co-workers being "too friendly" on her new job -- she didn't say she was being subjected to sexual advances. She merely said that many of the men she works with are always stopping by "to say 'Hi'" and that she's treated like a celebrity. She also said she has "never been the center of attention."

That, in my opinion, is the center of the problem. I think she is very insecure -- after all, she signed herself "Plain Jane" -- and she doesn't know how to handle her new popularity. On most jobs, you have to contend with office cliques, jealousy and generally not being accepted completely for a while. I think "Jane" is very fortunate to have lucked into a work environment with open arms. -- LUCIA IN CHICAGO

DEAR LUCIA: I find it fascinating the way my readers view the letters I print through the "filter" of their own experiences. Many people commented on "Plain Jane's" predicament -- and all of them offered interesting perspectives on interpersonal relations in the workplace. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I went to work in a building with 13 men. All day, every day, men would come by my desk to talk, invite me out for lunch, dinner, trips to hockey games, weekends, etc. These men would bring me gifts, offer to fix my car, etc. Thankfully, I was never interested in any of them.

Six months after I left that job, I found out that seven of them had put $50 each into a pool to see who could take me out first. One guy bet his $50 that I wouldn't go with anyone, and he won the bet! Once I heard about the bet, all the attention made sense. Beware of men bearing gifts! -- JUDI IN ILLINOIS

DEAR ABBY: Before complaining to the management about sexual harassment as you suggested, "Plain Jane" might take a careful look at herself. Is she dressing inappropriately for the workplace (low neckline, exposed midriff, short skirts)? Does she smile too much? Is there candy on her desk, encouraging co-workers to stop and chat? "Jane" might ask a trusted older working woman friend or relative to look over her wardrobe or share other hints.

In my 20s, I had a very negative self-image. I was unaware of the effect I made in 1960s mini-skirts. Looking back at old photos, I realize my husband was right -- I was a dish! -- FORMER PLAIN JANE IN INDIANA

DEAR ABBY: As a former worker in human resources, I know "Plain Jane's" situation can be volatile for everyone. However, before making any formal reports, Plain Jane must make her dislike of the attention known to her "suitors"; otherwise they may conclude that she is enjoying it.

She can do this in a polite and factual way, simply by saying, "Please don't come and talk to me while I'm working. It inhibits my ability to get my work done. Thank you." Then, if the attention continues, she should definitely talk to management or human resources staff. -- SHARON IN EAU CLAIRE, WIS.

[Fandango 1,439]

people need to loosen the ** up.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

people need to loosen the ** up.

Which ones?

[Jasman0717 9]

I liked this Dear Abby letter:

Dear Abby,

I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.

My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “ just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”

I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Thanks, Bob

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I liked this Dear Abby letter:

Dear Abby,

I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.

My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “ just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”

I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Thanks, Bob

Abby can dish out some sound advice...but she can be way off sometimes.

Edited February 16, 2007 by Steven_and_Jinky

[Mirorgate 0]

I liked this Dear Abby letter:

Dear Abby,

I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.

My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “ just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”

I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

Thanks, Bob

Take it back to dealer.. HD's are natorious for bad oil leaks.

[Fandango 1,439]

people need to loosen the ** up.

Which ones?

nevermind...you wouldnt understand

[one...two...tree 2,762]

people need to loosen the ** up.

Which ones?

nevermind...you wouldnt understand

Sanctimony! Sanctimony! (psst...you need a new word besides sanctimonious)

Edited February 16, 2007 by Steven_and_Jinky

[Fandango 1,439]

people need to loosen the ** up.

Which ones?

nevermind...you wouldnt understand

Sanctimony! Sanctimony! (psst...you need a new word besides sanctimonious)

I say it a lot cos I see it a lot

and last night, I was joking, hence the smiley