Why Do Women Stay With Men Who Treat Them Poorly

[Dakine10 5,452]

Vol's on the A-train to nowhere again.

[Janelle2002 3,865]

Not joking at all.

I know many guys who ask for permission to go out or to go fishing. They work and make the lion share of the money and the woman controls the money.

Maybe they should if they spend every weekend with their friends drinking beers and fishing.

What about the family?

As generalisations go, that's a pretty useless one.

The question should be why would anyone stay with someone or in a situation that they are unhappy with?

True. Did you take a vote on my answers above?

[TBoneTX 45,288]

*** Poll moved from Current Events & Hot Social Topics forum to the Polls forum. ***

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

Why did I stay in my messy, emotionally troubled marriage? Because I'm the sort of person who hates to lose anything, losing a spouse included. I worried what people would think of me, since this had been my second marriage (my first came to a very amicable end after 10 years -- we'd married pretty much straight out of college). I worried that I was unloveable, and unsexy, and old. I found out that I was nothing I worried I was, and that everyone thought I should have abandoned him WAY earlier than I did. I'm a fixer, a people-pleaser, and it killed me I couldn't help this person whom I loved. Now I know it's not my job to fix all the wounded birds out there, and I need to take care of myself before I can even think about taking care of someone else.

RuPaul put it best:

[Janelle2002 3,865]

Why did I stay in my messy, emotionally troubled marriage? Because I'm the sort of person who hates to lose anything, losing a spouse included. I worried what people would think of me, since this had been my second marriage (my first came to a very amicable end after 10 years -- we'd married pretty much straight out of college). I worried that I was unloveable, and unsexy, and old. I found out that I was nothing I worried I was, and that everyone thought I should have abandoned him WAY earlier than I did. I'm a fixer, a people-pleaser, and it killed me I couldn't help this person whom I loved. Now I know it's not my job to fix all the wounded birds out there, and I need to take care of myself before I can even think about taking care of someone else.

RuPaul put it best:

This one is a big one for women. You worry about whether or not you can find someone new who will like you because you feel out of shape, fat, have some stretch marks from kids and find it hard to believe another will accept you.

Very good point. And, you think, I am getting older. Very good point. Killary

I have a friend that thinks it is only about sex. Women stay with horrible men because the sex is good. I think this is minimum.

[decocker 7,198]

Thank You

When was the last time you heard a Man tell a Womman "I will divorce you and take everything you have"

I have never heard it either, But I have sure heard many a woman tell that to their man........

lol. ever been married to a man before? that's probably why a man has never told you he's going to divorce you and take you for everything you have.

[decocker 7,198]

Why did I stay in my messy, emotionally troubled marriage? Because I'm the sort of person who hates to lose anything, losing a spouse included. I worried what people would think of me, since this had been my second marriage (my first came to a very amicable end after 10 years -- we'd married pretty much straight out of college). I worried that I was unloveable, and unsexy, and old. I found out that I was nothing I worried I was, and that everyone thought I should have abandoned him WAY earlier than I did. I'm a fixer, a people-pleaser, and it killed me I couldn't help this person whom I loved. Now I know it's not my job to fix all the wounded birds out there, and I need to take care of myself before I can even think about taking care of someone else.

yep, meeee tooooo.

and i stayed for 'the kid' six years longer than i should have, nothing to do with money or childsupport, just didn't want to dismantle my son's "family".

[Janelle2002 3,865]

lol. ever been married to a man before? that's probably why a man has never told you he's going to divorce you and take you for everything you have.

:rofl:

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

I don't see many US men treating their woman bad, in fact it quite the opposite

I have seen a heck a lot more US Woman treating their men bad.....

What he said

[Janelle2002 3,865]

yep, meeee tooooo.

and i stayed for 'the kid' six years longer than i should have, nothing to do with money or childsupport, just didn't want to dismantle my son's "family".

That is another big one. Not wanting to disrupt your kid's life, or you kid has gotten used to the stepfather.

What he said

This is not a contributing comment.

[decocker 7,198]

That is another big one. Not wanting to disrupt your kid's life, or you kid has gotten used to the stepfather.

i could see how it would be rough for kids. mine is off topic i guess cause i divorced an upstanding murican by birth.

[Janelle2002 3,865]

i could see how it would be rough for kids. mine is off topic i guess cause i divorced an upstanding murican by birth.

This is not off topic. This is exactly what I want to hear from women.

[decocker 7,198]

This is not off topic. This is exactly what I want to hear from women.

ok. then yeah i think lots of women have a problem accepting when they can't "fix" the relationship. that and insecurity. but that goes for men too. it's more personality type don't you think?

[Janelle2002 3,865]

ok. then yeah i think lots of women have a problem accepting when they can't "fix" the relationship. that and insecurity. but that goes for men too. it's more personality type don't you think?

Definitely more about the personality. I think for women we really think we can change a man so we sit and wait and wait until we almost have no breathe left. If the man is stubborn you can forget about it. Also, if he has already established he can run over you, no need to change.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

ok. then yeah i think lots of women have a problem accepting when they can't "fix" the relationship. that and insecurity. but that goes for men too. it's more personality type don't you think?

As women, we're socialised to be "nice" and not make waves, put ourselves last so that others can do well. Nobody would call me a shrinking violet, and I was raised by pinko hippie feminists, but still I ended up thinking that I had to put my husband's needs before mine. That is rubbish! Sometimes you put his needs first, and sometimes yours. You're a team, goddamnit, and this isn't Leave It to Beaver. The team needs to come first, not just one person over and over again.

If you think that all women are money grubbing, soul sucking, man bashing harpies, because that is all you (and everyone you purport to know) have ever come across, you need to ask yourself: what is wrong with me that all I meet are women like this, and that all the men I associate with think women are like this?