Imported Filipino brides share the ups and downs of settling in America

[rlogan 2,036]

I agree with everything you said here... I would replace the racist label with something else.

There is a stigma with man marrying a woman from a third world country.. A very recent example on this site: there was a photo of some high school kids in front of a confederate flag in Colorado. A man from the south mentioned that "Girls dig southerners" to which someone replied "Then why did you have a foreign bride?" - The implication being of course if he had a foreign bride obviously he had no options here. To this day when I introduce my wife to someone new I work into the conversation as soon as possible that we met on vacation (because I know what they are thinking). Men mostly do not care - she was judged instantly based on her looks and she can only undue what they think by being a ######.. Women it absolutely changes their attitude on the spot. That's life.

Having said that read the original article and then read the comments from a good portion of the men underneath - as a man I find a lot of it embarrassing. I also think a lot of it is posturing BS - as a man I know the allure of youth and beauty to men and why someone who has never had a physically beautiful woman give them attention can be overcome when they do receive that attention. Everything else in the world becomes unimportant.. Nobody admits this so we get the posturing BS.

It isn't anybody's business why one person marries another. It is a person of low character that puts themselves in this position, and although they THINK they are saying something about the people they are trying to shame and guilt-trip, they are only saying something about themselves.

Anyone who says such trash about Asian women, black women, Latin American, etc. - this is a person I do not want to associate with and I condemn it because it is reprehensible.

When you cannot understand why this negative stereotyping of Asian women is wrong, it is because you are a racist yourself. If you believe them to be fully human and due exactly the same respect you would give to any other woman then you would not look down on their choices and try to frame them as poor little victims.

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

I agree with everything you said here... I would replace the racist label with something else.

There is a stigma with man marrying a woman from a third world country.. A very recent example on this site: there was a photo of some high school kids in front of a confederate flag in Colorado. A man from the south mentioned that "Girls dig southerners" to which someone replied "Then why did you have a foreign bride?" - The implication being of course if he had a foreign bride obviously he had no options here. To this day when I introduce my wife to someone new I work into the conversation as soon as possible that we met on vacation (because I know what they are thinking). Men mostly do not care - she was judged instantly based on her looks and she can only undue what they think by being a ######.. Women it absolutely changes their attitude on the spot. That's life.

Having said that read the original article and then read the comments from a good portion of the men underneath - as a man I find a lot of it embarrassing. I also think a lot of it is posturing BS - as a man I know the allure of youth and beauty to men and why someone who has never had a physically beautiful woman give them attention can be overcome when they do receive that attention. Everything else in the world becomes unimportant.. Nobody admits this so we get the posturing BS.

Considering that we are on an immigration website and my wife is Malaysian, why would I imply such a thing when I fall into the same category, since this comment is aimed at me.

The implication was, espousing such love for the South, but refuses to date women from there raises eyebrows IMO.

[Jacque67 7,328]

Considering that we are on an immigration website and my wife is Malaysian, why would I imply such a thing when I fall into the same category, since this comment is aimed at me.

The implication was, espousing such love for the South, but refuses to date women from there raises eyebrows IMO.

Precisely. Enough of these dudes with chips on their shoulders.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

Considering that we are on an immigration website and my wife is Malaysian, why would I imply such a thing when I fall into the same category, since this comment is aimed at me.

The implication was, espousing such love for the South, but refuses to date women from there raises eyebrows IMO.

Because it is exactly what you said...

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

It isn't anybody's business why one person marries another. It is a person of low character that puts themselves in this position, and although they THINK they are saying something about the people they are trying to shame and guilt-trip, they are only saying something about themselves.

Anyone who says such trash about Asian women, black women, Latin American, etc. - this is a person I do not want to associate with and I condemn it because it is reprehensible.

When you cannot understand why this negative stereotyping of Asian women is wrong, it is because you are a racist yourself. If you believe them to be fully human and due exactly the same respect you would give to any other woman then you would not look down on their choices and try to frame them as poor little victims.

Of course it is not anybodies business.. Now lets join the real world where everybody makes snap judgments on everyone else all the time - including you. There has never been a human being past the age of five that hasn't done it every single day of their lives.

People who use words like "importing" are not doing it to denigrate the women coming here, they are doing it to portray them as victims to better fit the narrative in the story they are trying to portray because of how they view the whole affair. Use your self-righteous act on them, I'm sure you'll change a lot of minds and win over a lots of converts instead of feeding into the exact stereotype they are trying to tie around your neck.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

Considering that we are on an immigration website and my wife is Malaysian, why would I imply such a thing when I fall into the same category, since this comment is aimed at me.

The implication was, espousing such love for the South, but refuses to date women from there raises eyebrows IMO.

Please go back and re-read the thread. He did not say he liked southern women, he said women liked southern men. That says nothing about what he wants..

So when he said "All women like southern men and I am southern" and you replied "Then why did you have to get a foreign wife?" please enlighten me how a normal person would interpret that...

[Jacque67 7,328]

Please go back and re-read the thread. He did not say he liked southern women, he said women liked southern men. That says nothing about what he wants..

So when he said "All women like southern men and I am southern" and you replied "Then why did you have to get a foreign wife?" please enlighten me how a normal person would interpret that...

Haven't re-read the thread, but I would interpret as the southern guy spurning all southern women and possibly being ghey?

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

Please go back and re-read the thread. He did not say he liked southern women, he said women liked southern men. That says nothing about what he wants..

So when he said "All women like southern men and I am southern" and you replied "Then why did you have to get a foreign wife?" please enlighten me how a normal person would interpret that...

This is how I saw it, if you're going to quote me,

"So, you're basically saying you love the South, but you won't date any women there? I've heard that southern women are known for their hospitality. Just thought someone like you would be more appreciative of that."

[GandD 5,966]

This is all circumventing the aspect of "payment". When you pay for a human, it's wrong. I find it especially hypocritical when men claim they were forced to look in a third world country for a wife because US women only care about money. Then they put themselves directly in a situation where their prospective wife would never be interested in them if they weren't an American with "money". It's just a lower financial bar.

It's not the way all marriages work from these countries but I think we've all read enough threads throughout the years to know it's some people's mo.

[rlogan 2,036]

I thought there was a possibility of taking my comments as directed at you personally when I said if "you" can't see why calling Asian women commodities is racist, then "you" are a racist yourself. Sorry about that.

Of course it is not anybodies business..

Exactly. So it isn't justified by saying others are doing it. I prefer not to have low character on the basis of others having low character. I am going to be the person who protests at a lynching instead of going along with the crowd.

That makes you unpopular with a malicious crowd. So what. I don't fear people of low character.

People who use words like "importing" are not doing it to denigrate the women coming here,

Oh yes they are. My eyes are working just fine watching her label Asian women as mere commodities. The responsibility for her own rhetoric is hers and hers alone.

The person framing someone else as a victim is pretending to be rescuing them, yes - but there is nothing more insulting than this kind of patronizing pity. This woman's children are going to be out-scored on educational tests by the offspring of Asian-Americans - the data is incontrovertible there. So should we pity her?

they are doing it to portray them as victims to better fit the narrative in the story they are trying to portray

Exactly so. An Asian woman can never be someone who is a whole person capable of making their own decisions. They are child-like victims and can never be more than this in the eyes of the racist.

Look how the founder-immigrants of this country are hallowed as such gallant adventurers, bravely sallying forth to better their lives - they are virtually saints. But we can just as easily frame them as poor child-like victims and much more appropriately so because of how many were indentured servants for years in order to pay their passage to America.

But do we sneer at them for being indentured servants? They literally WERE indentured servants - it isn't manipulative rhetoric designed to make them SEEM like indentured servants. They were almost exclusively from the impoverished classes. But do we look down with pity upon them and talk about how they were "forced" to come to America? That would make us snobs of low character.

Unless we are talking about Asian women. They can be pitied and called commodities with manipulative rhetoric whereas our immigrant forefathers who actually WERE commodities whose indentured servitude could be bought and sold - they are brave adventurers to admire and be proud of.

So the way people frame Asian women tells me about THEM. It doesn't tell me anything about Asian women. They make the conscious choice to frame them as not fully human, and that is low character.

Edited May 10, 2015 by rlogan

[GandD 5,966]

"Asian" is too generic a term. Indians are Asians, Filipinos are Asian, Indonesians are asians, mongolians are Asians. All of these are very different from chinese, Koreans, or Japanese. And all of these have huge differences in their population. To a Chinese person, the difference between them and Filipinos is like the US and Mexico. It's like comparing Germans and Greeks. European or Asian is too generic a term to mean anything culturally.

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

I reckon you've never seen my wife nor Marvin's nor Rlogan's. Don't for a minute believe that all Asians who marry older Americans are homely. Some could easily be VS models if they chose to.

I noticed the same thing about Filipino women and Thai women who are with older white males (in Ermita, Manila, Philippines for the Filipinos and Pattaya, Thailand for the Thai women). I think majority are unattractive based on my observation and what others have observed (and told me) too.

Edited May 10, 2015 by DavenRoxy

[Operator 1,927]

"Asian" is too generic a term. Indians are Asians, Filipinos are Asian, Indonesians are asians, mongolians are Asians. All of these are very different from chinese, Koreans, or Japanese. And all of these have huge differences in their population. To a Chinese person, the difference between them and Filipinos is like the US and Mexico. It's like comparing Germans and Greeks. European or Asian is too generic a term to mean anything culturally.

F'in plus 1 million.

Calling someone 'Asian' pinpoints nothing other than a huge geographic area from which they; or their ancestors, may originate. To even intimate that the people of Asia have anything more in common than being from the earths most populated continent is in my opinion just plain whacky.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

I reckon you've never seen my wife nor Marvin's nor Rlogan's. Don't for a minute believe that all Asians who marry older Americans are homely. Some could easily be VS models if they chose to.

ROFL.. That guy sure got it wrong

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

Ok, so I lied. Our wives are homely. We are just blind. And contrilling. We beat our Asian wives into submission whenever they don't naturally submit like they are required to.