Cold Feet and Second Thoughts

[wbeem 568]

OMG. I can't believe you are doing this! you are wasting money on somebody who is not even worth it.

if sweet talks actually work, there shouldn't be any heart broken woman

Never under estimate the power of banana nut bread.

[BraveAmnay 56]

[TBoneTX 45,663]

Two more off-topic posts have been removed. One member has been banned from further participation in this thread, for having defended removed TOS-violating material.

VJ Moderation

[madtownguy 164]

90 days is not to start dating and get to know each other. The 90 days is to give you time to do what you need to do in order to get your wedding organized, if you are wanting something that takes a bit of planning.

I never understand why people think that you can get engaged to someone and not be sure if you can actually live together, and happily leave that assessment to take place for under 3 months prior to a lifetime commitment.

I KNEW without a doubt before I even accepted my fiance's proposal. There was no question about it. We were both absolutely certain before he even asked me to marry him. The 90 days is not a trial run. I can see no logical reason why there is this general acceptance that you have to be less certain if you are marrying someone from a different country that you don't have to know them as well before you say "I do". With distance and time zones being a very real challenge, it would make sense that in situations such as ours, even more time and effort needs to be invested in building solid foundations than if we were marrying someone who we could see in person daily in our own country. I must be old fashioned. I take my commitment to my fiance very seriously.

It is impossible for someone to know they will want to live somewhere they never even visited. A relationship isn't the only thing that can cause someone not to be together, loving each other won't automatically make each other happy. I'm a realist, commitment isn't all that is involved.

[wbeem 568]

It is impossible for someone to know they will want to live somewhere they never even visited. A relationship isn't the only thing that can cause someone not to be together, loving each other won't automatically make each other happy. I'm a realist, commitment isn't all that is involved.

There are many vital ingredients to a good and healthy relationship, other than commitment. But I think you missed the point of my post. I was responding very specifically to your comment about "still having 90 days." That's too late to be testing the waters. If you don't know the person well enough to marry them, you don't know them well enough to propose/accept. Accepting a proposal for marriage is a commitment. You don't do it if you aren't sure. That's my personal view. I was sharing my thoughts, but if you see it differently, I respect that.

[BrittWitt 5]

I've read through most of the posts with terri_blake and I must say as entertaining as they all were, my heart goes out to this girl. Terri, guessing from your photo and how you view things, you are probably a few years younger than myself - I'm 27. I have been reading over posts on this site for a while preparing for my own visa journey and when I saw your posts, I was stunned. My mouth dropped because I can not believe what I have been reading.

First of all, I know someone from Boston who married an Egyptian guy with the same name as your guy in Hurgada. He was pretty much a scammer and made her fly all the way to Egypt to marry him. Mind you, they had never met before. She left her kids to be with this man and was there for about a month. She ended up coming back to the states and started to try to find a way to petition for him to be here. No one would help her or sponsor him because she doesn't make good decisions. Long story short, he ended up marrying ANOTHER WOMAN (American, of course) two months later.

I would just like to ease my intuition here. Is your Basim a tall, lanky guy? I could possibly find a pic the one I know of if it's okay to post it here. I would really hope it's not the same one.

[Chowking 20]

I'm scared for her. I hope she is safe.

[VOL 425]

I've read through most of the posts with terri_blake and I must say as entertaining as they all were, my heart goes out to this girl. Terri, guessing from your photo and how you view things, you are probably a few years younger than myself - I'm 27. I have been reading over posts on this site for a while preparing for my own visa journey and when I saw your posts, I was stunned. My mouth dropped because I can not believe what I have been reading.

First of all, I know someone from Boston who married an Egyptian guy with the same name as your guy in Hurgada. He was pretty much a scammer and made her fly all the way to Egypt to marry him. Mind you, they had never met before. She left her kids to be with this man and was there for about a month. She ended up coming back to the states and started to try to find a way to petition for him to be here. No one would help her or sponsor him because she doesn't make good decisions. Long story short, he ended up marrying ANOTHER WOMAN (American, of course) two months later.

I would just like to ease my intuition here. Is your Basim a tall, lanky guy? I could possibly find a pic the one I know of if it's okay to post it here. I would really hope it's not the same one.

Interesting

Post the pic and lets see if it is the same dude....

[BrittWitt 5]

It's probably best if I find a way to send it to her privately. I just made this account today and I was reading over TOS and I'm afraid it may be a violation. Terri, when/if you see this, can you find a way to private message me. I am new to the user functions and havent figured out how to do so. Thank you!

[Limey 551]

Having read through this thread I have to say that much of OP's story doesn't make sense. I'm smelling a pretty poor troll.

1) the picture taken from elsewhere

2) the use of an apparently real name - unlikely when you're posting such personal stuff (same goes for the pic)

3) the rather extraordinary story (a meeting in Morocco where they weren't allowed to meet in person so spoke on the phone from a balcony, etc)

I lived in the Middle East. Even in the Gulf men can meet women - they just need a chaperone... and Egypt is generally more liberal than the Gulf States.

I'm sure OP gets some kind of satisfaction from this game in some way. The posts seem deliberately crafted to elicit a response (making "Basim" out to be a pretty obvious fraud, and OP taking the role of gullible victim).

Edited April 27, 2015 by Limey

[BrittWitt 5]

Having read through this thread I have to say that much of OP's story doesn't make sense. I'm smelling a pretty poor troll.

1) the picture taken from elsewhere

2) the use of an apparently real name - unlikely when you're posting such personal stuff (same goes for the pic)

3) the rather extraordinary story (a meeting in Morocco where they weren't allowed to meet in person so spoke on the phone from a balcony, etc)

I lived in the Middle East. Even in the Gulf men can meet women - they just need a chaperone... and Egypt is generally more liberal than the Gulf States.

I'm sure OP gets some kind of satisfaction from this game in some way. The posts seem deliberately crafted to elicit a response (making "Basim" out to be a pretty obvious fraud, and OP taking the role of gullible victim).

Hey I wouldn't have believed it either but I know a guy named Basim in Hurgada, Egypt who does this to women. A sucker is born every minute so I would not be surprised. I also did a reverse image search of her pic and didn't find anything other than VJ referrals so not sure if that pic is stolen or not. Someone said she is Alyson Hannigan but cleary that is not Alyson in the pic so, IDK.

[Limey 551]

Hey I wouldn't have believed it either but I know a guy named Basim in Hurgada, Egypt who does this to women. A sucker is born every minute so I would not be surprised. I also did a reverse image search of her pic and didn't find anything other than VJ referrals so not sure if that pic is stolen or not. Someone said she is Alyson Hannigan but cleary that is not Alyson in the pic so, IDK.

Check out the posting names on this forum, eg just on this page... you're "BrittWitt", I'm "Limey". People use nicknames, not real names, even though we don't have these embarrassing stories to tell of falling in love with someone and meeting them 2 stories apart on a hotel balcony LOL it sounded like a sketch from a comedy show. Yet OP has used a name that is supposed to appear real... that is classic trolling.

I didn't find any of it convincing, but after reading the bit where OP says "who says he's a muslim" when she'd previously said "he's a muslim" - I'm surprised anyone took any more bait from her/him (real OP could be either but my money is on a him). There is also the bit where she/he claimed to be a pentacostal christian, and then exclaimed "Jesus Christ" at the beginning of one of the posts. As a troll I'd have to give a 3 out of ten (and that is mainly for effort)

Edited April 28, 2015 by Limey

[subwayguy 100]

It's probably best if I find a way to send it to her privately. I just made this account today and I was reading over TOS and I'm afraid it may be a violation. Terri, when/if you see this, can you find a way to private message me. I am new to the user functions and havent figured out how to do so. Thank you!

can you please send it to me too. just for the heck of it.

[subwayguy 100]

Having read through this thread I have to say that much of OP's story doesn't make sense. I'm smelling a pretty poor troll.

1) the picture taken from elsewhere

2) the use of an apparently real name - unlikely when you're posting such personal stuff (same goes for the pic)

3) the rather extraordinary story (a meeting in Morocco where they weren't allowed to meet in person so spoke on the phone from a balcony, etc)

I lived in the Middle East. Even in the Gulf men can meet women - they just need a chaperone... and Egypt is generally more liberal than the Gulf States.

I'm sure OP gets some kind of satisfaction from this game in some way. The posts seem deliberately crafted to elicit a response (making "Basim" out to be a pretty obvious fraud, and OP taking the role of gullible victim).

Even in Ultra liberal turkey and semi liberal Jordan , I was asked to not sit next to a woman. Didn't happen to me in Egypt butI did meet a lot of scam artists.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Real life often writes scripts that no one can copy, no TV show can come up with.

Having been on VJ for almost 10 years (with a previous different username/ email account)

I have seen more here on VJ and in real life with all kinds of immigration stories that were very real, hard to believe and just plain crazy,

however they were real. I have seen and heard and personally know people whose stories made me sick, but are true.

To question all unbelievable stories as troll activity is a waste of time, some are and many aren't. Some we will never know.

IMO in it best to proceed and advice according to what the topic is or skip it and read another thread.

Here is a true story from someone that lives near my town and whose relative I know very well.

Woman travels to meet her new found love who said he is white but is really black ( West Africa).

He uses the old story about being stranded and can she visit him blah blah....

She does and sees not a single white guy at the airport, just some guy who she thought her BF send to help with the luggage.

She asks where is Soje and he says "It's me !"
She says what do you mean you are Soje, Soje is white.
He responds by saying " If I were black would you have come all this way to see me ?"

She married that guy on that same trip.

She is a Superintendent at a school. Yes ! Never skyped and believed all his fake photos.

So the guy comes over on a CR1 and they have been together for several years.
I was so ticked off when I heard all that but it is the truth.

I shared this to let people know that just because a story sounds off the wall it is not always invented by a troll. Unfortunately.