Cold Feet and Second Thoughts

[subwayguy 100]

Totally agree with Sandra here.

I always advise petitioners if they have doubts about if their beneficiary is with them just for the opportunity to live in the petitioners country that they offer to marry the beneficiary and move to their country instead. This tends to reveal quite quickly those who only care about coming to the petitioners country. You are not responsible for his family, there is no requirement for you to bring them all over if you do not wish to.

I disagree with you on that. It could be dangerous for her to put herself in that country. Especially a country whose female rights issues are troubling and is rule of man not law. she could be easily manipulated and abused.

[Illiria 980]

I disagree with you on that. It could be dangerous for her to put herself in that country. Especially a country whose female rights issues are troubling and is rule of man not law. she could be easily manipulated and abused.

I said offer - I did not tell her to actually go there. Of course going to live there is not going to be good for her, especially if he is of a more extreme faith that seems to have very strict rules on what she could and couldn't do. The act of offering to go live there instead usually leads them to reveal their true intentions and so she would know without a doubt if he is with her for the green card instead of because he loves her.

Edited April 26, 2015 by Illiria

[TBoneTX 45,312]

Eleven off-topic posts removed from thread. Thanks for bringing it back on track.

VJ Moderation

[madtownguy 164]

I know him well enough until i learn something new. How could he now tell me he is allergic to different animals when I specifically told him I love them????

Sounds kind of petty to me. They make medicine for that now, and I was actually allergic when I was a kid and now I am not anymore. You still have 90 days once he gets here.

[wbeem 568]

. You still have 90 days once he gets here.

90 days is not to start dating and get to know each other. The 90 days is to give you time to do what you need to do in order to get your wedding organized, if you are wanting something that takes a bit of planning.

I never understand why people think that you can get engaged to someone and not be sure if you can actually live together, and happily leave that assessment to take place for under 3 months prior to a lifetime commitment.

I KNEW without a doubt before I even accepted my fiance's proposal. There was no question about it. We were both absolutely certain before he even asked me to marry him. The 90 days is not a trial run. I can see no logical reason why there is this general acceptance that you have to be less certain if you are marrying someone from a different country that you don't have to know them as well before you say "I do". With distance and time zones being a very real challenge, it would make sense that in situations such as ours, even more time and effort needs to be invested in building solid foundations than if we were marrying someone who we could see in person daily in our own country. I must be old fashioned. I take my commitment to my fiance very seriously.

[terri_blake 10]

good evening everyone. Here is my latest update about the situation between myself and my fiance:

He has been calling me and trying to Skype with me all day long. I finally gave in and spoke with him and explained to him how I was feeling. The conversation did not go well. After a long hot bath a cup of tea and slice of banana nut bread, I decided to speak with him one more time before the end of the night. we talked for about an hour on Skype and it was a really great conversation. I think he gets it now. after begging me for over an hour, I finally gave in and agreed to fly out and meet with him this Friday. I will be meeting him in Hurghada ,Egypt and we will finally meet face to face on the same ground to talk this out in person. I hope I'm not making a mistake but something deep inside my soul tells me I'm not.

[Boiler 45,535]

You should have internet access, let us know how it goes.

[Mountain Climber 186]

Trust your gut, it is very rarely wrong.

I agree with the above. Listen to the whisper of your heart and not the rationalizations of your mind.

Edited April 27, 2015 by Mountain Climber

[Jawaree 717]

If you were my sister, friend, family especially daughter, I would say

walk away right now....after what happened to your sister within this

same family why go down that road....lady you are in love with love

4get him, Mr right is coming your way soon....cut ties move on. This

man like his uncle needs his papers, those ppl say what they think

U need to hear , their family & all.He has his future wife waiting on him too

[El_killer47 22]

When he is in the states it will be too late... Unless he comes for a visit which I doubt he can.

I tend to look for the goodness in people. And marriages are about a lot of faith and patience. All I'm saying is long distance is always hard and requires a lot of strength to get through. I just don't want her to give up based on doubts. Not saying trust this guy blindly, just hang in and see what life has in store for you and be happy either way. If he's good to you, then great and if not, oh well there's plenty of fish and especially for a beautiful girl like OP.

What's the point of giving up based on doubts? To me it doesn't make sense.

[Vette 116]

Well, I guess you have not quite made up your mind, Terri.

I wish you well in your travels. Please let us know how things go once you get there. Use your brain and be very careful. Good luck!

[Jon and Krissy 452]

(snip)

If he's good to you, then great and if not, oh well there's plenty of fish and especially for a beautiful girl like OP.

(snip)

She may be beautiful, but where have you see her picture? Her profile picture is a picture of actress Alyson Hannigan, who portrayed Willow on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Lily on How I Met Your Mother, etc.

[terri_blake 10]

She may be beautiful, but where have you see her picture? Her profile picture is a picture of actress Alyson Hannigan, who portrayed Willow on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Lily on How I Met Your Mother, etc.

Wrong!!! That is my pic. It was taken for my church's website. But your remark is flattering but i look nothing like Alyson Hanningan. She is like 40ish!!!! I am waaaay younger. get your facts straight. Try again. Edited April 27, 2015 by terri_blake

[TBoneTX 45,312]

One post removed for insulting another poster.

VJ Moderation

[subwayguy 100]

good evening everyone. Here is my latest update about the situation between myself and my fiance:

He has been calling me and trying to Skype with me all day long. I finally gave in and spoke with him and explained to him how I was feeling. The conversation did not go well. After a long hot bath a cup of tea and slice of banana nut bread, I decided to speak with him one more time before the end of the night. we talked for about an hour on Skype and it was a really great conversation. I think he gets it now. after begging me for over an hour, I finally gave in and agreed to fly out and meet with him this Friday. I will be meeting him in Hurghada ,Egypt and we will finally meet face to face on the same ground to talk this out in person. I hope I'm not making a mistake but something deep inside my soul tells me I'm not.

OMG. I can't believe you are doing this! you are wasting money on somebody who is not even worth it.

if sweet talks actually work, there shouldn't be any heart broken woman