Cold Feet and Second Thoughts

[daviddelen 34]

I don't know how his allergies would effect you unless you have a cat or dog and he can't live with them. I am a huge fan by the way!

Edited April 26, 2015 by daviddelen

[Holdingon 16]

If there are any doubts, figure it out right now.

Don't do it if you are not 200% positive. You will have problems down the road and kick yourself for this potential mistake.

This is a serious life commitment.

[Sekhvaruli 74]

A week ago I contacted the Manila Embassy and withdrew my petition. All she had to do was make appointments - it was that close to a done deal.. I

was torn at the time but in the end I listened to what I was saying to myself..

A week later I still miss her so much and I have weak moments. But my stress level is lessening, I did the right thing. You can too babe..

Bill

I have been there

[BaronB 42]

I have not sent any money. In fact, he has sent me a lot of money since we began dating last year. There is so much goung on but my tears are delaying this process. Wow i really feel like I cant go thru with this.

WHAT???? He has sent you a lot of money? What for? Sounds like he is trying to buy a greencard.

[Harmon-y 32]

Please listen to the great advice given here. My sisterinlaw married my brother after a few red flags - the biggest being that she always wanted children (her life long dream) and although he said he did too they didn't talk much about it or make plans. She never got to meet my family until after they were married either. After they were married, he finally came out and told her that he was pretty sure he was sterile and that he didn't want kids. When he is around them, he isn't even nice or approachable. He hates kids, honestly. We could have told her if we had known her or if she had waited to see more of the truth. They are divorced now and had a very sad, difficult 2 year marriage. Please consider that even little issues turn in to really big issues when you get married - just because they are always in your face.

[Bugs 455]

Do not marry someone when you have lingering doubts about compatibility issues.

The divorce rate is high enough as it is.

[CheekyMonkeys154 27]

If you are unsure then wait awhile. You should be sure, if you have doubts about how well you really know him then you should listen to yourself. It is trying to tell you something. Just wait awhile and get to know him better before doing anything more. That's the only advice that I can give you. I didn't have any doubts about marrying my fiance and we will be wed this summer. But if I had doubts, then just would have waited and tried to get to know him etc.. more if I felt I didn't. I hope that helps.

[PurplePassion 1]

If your not compatible with a person you shouldnt marry them. My husbands religion is the same way but yet we met in person anyways and seen each other plenty of times. he always been out iin the open about everything. AND I MEAN EVERYTHİNG! we are 2 totally different people but make the best of each other. If he isnt honest or hiding things he will hide everything! you understand? Im not trying to hurt your feelings in any way but maybe this is not the best for you.

ask yourself or do a list of things: does the good out weigh the bad. where would we be in 10 years. is this the future I want for myself. is this the man I want to have children with. would he leave me a soon as he gets what he wants. Answer it at most honest as you can to only yourself. Nobody can make your decision for you, but do your research. Educate yourself! and goodluck!

[TripMo 8]

Good God girl.. reg flags alll over the place!! Definitely go with your gut!!

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

I would run...not walk away.

You can't base a sound foundation for a marriage on such lack of transparency !

He seems to be a calculating and manipulative personality that gives you bits here and there as he thinks you can handle it.

Not disclosing that he is "like a father" to his "niece" or whoever she is, is a deal breaker in my opinion.

That should have come up long before talk of getting engaged. That is BASIC information.

Telling you not to speak about her mother is showing a very harsh and authoritarian manner you will have to deal with, he will forbid you other things

also in the future count on that !

The whole not meeting face to face balcony is ridiculous and I don't want to go further into that, that has been discussed at nauseum already.

I do not believe he is "allergic" to dogs/animals, study his religion and dogs (link withing a link here http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/80532-why-does-it-seem-egyptiansarabs-dont-like-dogs-and-does-anyone-have-any-experience-with-how-your-so-adapted-to-your-dog-once-they-came/

While some adapt to pets, others never do and make stupid excuses.

You love animals....seems you aren't as compatible as you first assumed. Study the culture.

You love to travel around in an RV but I can bet he won't. Know the culture and immerse yourself in it before you believe everything he says.

He tells you what you want to hear and plays with your heart by showing you "romance". It's a game, please don't be naive.

You say you feel like a hypocrite saying loving things to him but sharing your thoughts here. You need to stop saying loving words to him and

do some investigating and talking some tough love to him and then watch him unravel, it will be much easier to deal with all this in reality

rather than living in a romantic fantasy based on lies.

Tell him either he tells you all about the mother (and everything else you are curious about) or he can take a flying leap out of your life.

Be assertive, tell him you are done with "don't speak of this and that" malarkey. Step it up. SET YOUR HEALTHY BOUNDARIES and stop

acting like a puppy dog feeling guilty that you have thoughts for very good reasons. Don't let him intimidate you.

I really feel for you but please toughen up with a this guy and know your worth, he is not the last man on this planet and even if he were

I would run just from the balcony episode alone not to mention all the other drama surrounding him.

I hope you end it but if not then you must accept the harsh consequences and only have your own choices to blame.

Listen to your gut !

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Not sure if you said in the other thread that you only skype 3 hours a week with him but if you do then that is a red flag also.

There seems to be no solid communication at all. Make him EARN your trust, don't give it away so freely.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Not sure if you said in the other thread that you only skype 3 hours a week with him but if you do then that is a red flag also.

There seems to be no solid communication at all. Make him EARN your trust, don't give it away so freely.

How many hours a week do you skype with your fiance?

[CheekyMonkeys154 27]

How many hours a week do you skype with your fiance?

Lol my fiancé and I do a minimum of probably 3 hours a night. But on nights we don't work it is like 6-8

[blest.but.strest 50]

I just read the previous threads, the picture scenario on the balcony and photographer had me dying. Lol Terri you have a lot of good advice from VJ members on all the previous threads you created. It's now up to you to decide what you will do with Basim. This relationship sounds very complicated and I feel like it will get even more complicated with him in the future, especially once you apply for immigration benefits with USCIS.

[Elle&Kev 120]

How many hours a week do you skype with your fiance?

Over the last 5 years we have over 10,000 hours of Skype logs. 3hrs a week? That's for acquaintances. LoL

Edited April 26, 2015 by Elle&Kev