Lurker's review

[Lurker 0]

First, I would like to think everybody here for helping me through the first step in our Visa Journey (Is that a trademark? Sorry if so.)

Second, I am not going to go through the details most have (i.e. went to the consulate blah…left consulate blah). What I am going to do is focus on the generalization of what we have learned.

Third, what I am about to say is only my opinions and in no way dictate what you should do for your entire case. Everybody's situation is different. Hence the term coined "Different strokes for different folks" if you will.

1) We swore not to believe in every damn rumor, gossip queen talk that circulated around the forums or VN about the visa process, all the while carefully observing everything around us on the process to get to the heart of the matter.

a. There are a LOT of crazy loon rumors and just plain flat out misinformation that we ran across. Fortunately my wife has a strong head and thick skin to deflect this #######.

b. You give them traditional Vietnamese respect, they will respond in return. If you are rude, they will respond in return. Simple as that. If you don't know what I am talking about then go about your time blindly and see for yourself.

c. Cho Ray hospital was probably one of the nicest hospitals my wife has been to. Especially considering the fact that she is not poor and has great health care in Hanoi (If there is such a thing as great health care in Vietnam.)

d. My wife's estimation was that the majority of the people in the consulate are not there for a K Visa period!!! She estimated that only 10% are there for a K type Visa. So the folks that say "I saw so many greens/blues but they gave me the pink" is accurate, but not of the same type of filing. The others are there for either:

i. Student

ii. Family

iii. Travel

e. The consulate knows Vietnamese cultures and traditions. We got married without registering our marriage. We did this because it is traditional. I cannot take her away from her father without doing so. I referred to her as my wife, and her as her husband. She wore a wedding ring. We had 300+ people at our wedding with signs galore "Happy Wedding" in the tieng Viet in the background of our pictures. We presented our guest list. They expect this. They know Vietnamese culture and traditions. I sometimes think we look too far into this ####### that we actually alter what is traditional for the sake of thinking they are ignorant to it. If for some reason you are not traditional and/or you have lost your traditions you may have a more difficult time convincing them of your relationship as I think they would question about this.

f. Since day 1, we looked at everything with a fine toothed comb. If it weren't for VJ, this wouldn't have happened. Look at your specific situation. Only you know who you are and what you have done or not. Be critical of yourself when providing evidence. Leave no questions, no stones unturned, and then after you are done, DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN REPEAT OVER AND OVER UNTIL THE INTERVIEW IS COMPLETE.

g. It is hard, but tries not to be a "Downer-Dave". Keep your head up and listen to another VJer's advice "THINK BIG PICTURE". Calm your SO down. She will feel anxiety if you feel anxiety. KEEP YOUR SO CALM. If your SO is not one to have a strong mind to deflect garbage talk, then it is your job to do damage control.

I hope you all can read this and get something out of our experiences to help you in your Visa Journey. Keep your head up, stay strong and take every step one at a time.

Edited February 14, 2007 by Lurker

[andrew va thuy 0]

Thanks for the advice summation Lurker Congratulations on a great way to start the new year Tet

[Jasman0717 9]

Nice post

[STL_HCMC 0]

I agree with this 100%!

STL_HCMC

...You give them traditional Vietnamese respect, they will respond in return. If you are rude, they will respond in return. Simple as that. If you don't know what I am talking about then go about your time blindly and see for yourself.

[Cha Gio 0]

Thanks for sharing the experience, Lurker!

[s2convt 0]

Good post. So how did the interview go??

[Idinh 0]

Conga-Rats!

[dkalXuan 0]

well said

what is a "downer-dave"? hmmmmm

take care.... "just dave"

[chuckandkim 0]

Your observation is correct on (d.) Want to add: Business.

[ding 1]

e. The consulate knows Vietnamese cultures and traditions. We got married without registering our marriage. We did this because it is traditional. I cannot take her away from her father without doing so. I referred to her as my wife, and her as her husband. She wore a wedding ring. We had 300+ people at our wedding with signs galore "Happy Wedding" in the tieng Viet in the background of our pictures. We presented our guest list. They expect this. They know Vietnamese culture and traditions. I sometimes think we look too far into this ####### that we actually alter what is traditional for the sake of thinking they are ignorant to it. If for some reason you are not traditional and/or you have lost your traditions you may have a more difficult time convincing them of your relationship as I think they would question about this.

We are going to do this. I think it'll be great, can't wait. Her mom sounds great and I want to meet her anyway, but we have to travel 13 hours to the country to their farm. There is a money show that is very strange to my western mind, but I can accept the traditional ways for her family. I never thought to have a guest book to present at interview. Thanks!

We won't register it either, just a religious ceremony for tradition/family/face.

[Lurker 0]

e. The consulate knows Vietnamese cultures and traditions. We got married without registering our marriage. We did this because it is traditional. I cannot take her away from her father without doing so. I referred to her as my wife, and her as her husband. She wore a wedding ring. We had 300+ people at our wedding with signs galore "Happy Wedding" in the tieng Viet in the background of our pictures. We presented our guest list. They expect this. They know Vietnamese culture and traditions. I sometimes think we look too far into this ####### that we actually alter what is traditional for the sake of thinking they are ignorant to it. If for some reason you are not traditional and/or you have lost your traditions you may have a more difficult time convincing them of your relationship as I think they would question about this.

We are going to do this. I think it'll be great, can't wait. Her mom sounds great and I want to meet her anyway, but we have to travel 13 hours to the country to their farm. There is a money show that is very strange to my western mind, but I can accept the traditional ways for her family. I never thought to have a guest book to present at interview. Thanks!

We won't register it either, just a religious ceremony for tradition/family/face.

"There is a money show "? Please explain.

[ding 1]

There is a tradition where you show the future wife's family how much you will pay to marry their daughter. It's very offensive from a westerner's perspective, but is not as cold than it looks at first glance. The idea is to show that you can care for their daughter and to show appreciation for raising a good daughter up. They usually give all the money back after the ceremony, minus the expense of the wedding.

There is a whole family to family negotiation that is to take place first, which we wont be doing. Then an amount is agreed on and put on display at the ceremony. It's like most things in Thailand, it's sweeter and more innocent than it sounds. But still, it has a hard edge of sexism, etc.

For example, a younger lady who has not been married and has a college degree generally has a bigger sinsot than a divorced lady with a child -who may not get any sinsot. I don't get it at all, but I guess I don't have to get it... just go with the flow.

It's a Buddhist religious ceremony only. I told Lek about the 'guest book signing' idea. She assumed I meant to sign the official book at the Amphur (County Courthouse). Oops! I had to explain that we do NOT want an official wedding, just a Buddhist ceremony for family tradition. Whew!

[patricks 0]

I was speaking with a close friend this week in Sai Gon who knows the Consulate first-hand:

Fact:

The COs are over worked and have a tight schedule to maximize interviews (only 1 hour lunch break)

The COs definitely prefer to pass the applicants vs. having a person (usually female) crying in front of them.

The COs must receive 100% of required paperwork, or the applicant must return with all correct forms.

The COs interpeters, who are provided as a convenience, do make mistakes (Unfortunately) so it's best to speak English.

Finally,

The Applicant needs to answer the CO's questions correctly, The VNs people (inc. my former students) seem to change the subject, provide a very very general answer, reply is too confusing or they are too "long winded" and don't get to the point.

Feedback from a credible source

[Lurker 0]

I was speaking with a close friend this week in Sai Gon who knows the Consulate first-hand:

Fact:

The COs are over worked and have a tight schedule to maximize interviews (only 1 hour lunch break)

The COs definitely prefer to pass the applicants vs. having a person (usually female) crying in front of them.

The COs must receive 100% of required paperwork, or the applicant must return with all correct forms.

The COs interpeters, who are provided as a convenience, do make mistakes (Unfortunately) so it's best to speak English.

Finally,

The Applicant needs to answer the CO's questions correctly, The VNs people (inc. my former students) seem to change the subject, provide a very very general answer, reply is too confusing or they are too "long winded" and don't get to the point.

Feedback from a credible source

Hard to imagine that American work ethics (Which is the norm here) would be considered "Over worked". I find this very interesting.

[andrew va thuy 0]

A couple of comments, Ding, thanks for explaining the money show to us. And thanks Patricks for sharing at least some view point of some of the consulate. It is not surprising that there's an audit like edge to it, because the interview is very similar. Thanks !