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Filed: Other Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted
We know what you’re thinking: Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. It’s forced. It’s too much pressure. But if you’re dating this month, you’ll probably wind up roaming the aisles for a gift to give your date on February 14th. And, “like it or not, Valentine’s Day becomes a test in which you have to show you’ve been paying attention to the other person’s taste,” says Christine Silvestri, founder of Urban Shopping Adventures, which gives tours of LA’s shopping districts.

But choosing the right gift can be quite a challenge: Too many frazzled sweethearts reach into the Valentine’s void for gift ideas and come up with something that’s just plain wrong. To help you avoid joining their ranks, we present the ten worst presents possible—and what to give your sweetie instead.

1. Ye olde bouquet of red roses and baby’s breath

What’s wrong with it: Yes, you went out and got something nice and romantic. Unfortunately, certain types of flowers are the equivalent of a shrug because they are so predictable and clichéd... and the rose bouquet falls into this category quite neatly. Says Kristin, 40, of Lake Geneva, WI, “I was dating a guy who said he adored all my quirks and my adventurous spirit. Then he turned around and gave me a big bunch of roses with the lacy white stuff for Valentine’s. It was embarrassing, because I’m so not the kind of woman you give that to! It made me feel as if he didn’t really know me or get what I was all about.”

Indeed, Frank Leusner, manager of Delphinium Home, a popular gift shop in New York City, says this of the classic red and white bouquet: “There’s absolutely no thought behind it. It’s a copout because it’s just so expected.” Obviously, a gift that says “I’ve never paid attention to your tastes” or “This would also work well on a tombstone” is not a Valentine’s Day message worth sending. Or, consider the way Brittney Cason, relationship advisor for Elevate magazine in Charlotte, NC, puts it: “A gift should never make a woman wonder if you picked it out at the pharmacy while waiting to get a prescription filled on the way over.”

A simple solution: Ask one of your more florally-inclined friends to name a cool-looking bloom (think calla lily, parrot tulip, Gerbera daisy) and then buy three dozen of those. Or order up a monochromatic bouquet of various blooms in your honey’s favorite color—arrangements look especially striking when the flowers are all one shade.

2. A box of assorted chocolates

What’s wrong with it: “Taking candy from guys you know on Valentine’s Day is the only thing more risky than taking candy from strangers,” says Amy Borkowsky, author of Statements: True Tales of Life, Love, and Credit Card Bills. Let’s face it—not all chocolates are created equal. And while a variety pack of sweets shows that you’re trying to cover the bases, the dark (or milk or white) secret is that some of these morsels will be, well, icky. Do the math: Out of every box of 15 assorted chocolates, a woman will probably have three or so favorites. And there’s all that crazy, frou-frou wrapping as part of the picture—enough satin and ribbon to fashion a child’s princess-bride Halloween costume. So what would you rather get? Three chocolates you want and 21 you don't—along with a lot of excess red metallic cardboard? Or a small box of something you actually like?

A simple solution: This is where a hefty dose of your sweetie’s favorite sweet can come in handy. “Get creative with your packaging or give it as a gift within a gift—who wouldn’t like that?!” says Silvestri. “If you’re dating a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup gal, she’d rather have a bag of those in a nice hand-painted bowl or wrapped in a soft scarf than a lifetime supply of random chocolates in a heart-shaped box.”

3. Jewelry in a ring-sized box

What’s wrong with it: In truth, most women love something glittery. But the biggest jewelry mistake a man can make is anything in a ring-size box — be it earrings, a pendant, or a one-ounce tube of saffron — that’s not, in fact, an engagement ring. Women know there are five key probable proposal days (namely, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s, and her birthday), so giving her false hope on one of them is cruel. “When a girl sees that box, she’s either going to freak out because she’s not ready or hope that it is ‘The’ ring and then be disappointed, so it’s lose-lose,” says Cason.

A simple solution: Even if you do get her, say, pink-sapphire earrings — which we’re sure she’ll love — wrap them in a shirt box just so she doesn’t get the wrong idea.

4. Something girlie and decorative like a sachet, a candle holder, a silver wishing stone…

What’s wrong with it: We’re talking about things like rhinestone-studded soap dishes, elaborate aromatherapy dispensing devices, and other stuff people would never buy for themselves. “Anything red and pink and cutesy often winds up being kind of cheap and useless when you look at it on February 15th—the luster is gone,” says Borkowsky. “And any solid red trinket risks saying, ‘I love you—just enough to get you Christmas stuff at 75 percent off.’” Recalls Adrienne, 35, of Cincinnati, “My boyfriend tends to get me things like little heart-shaped pink-velvet pincushions or a wreath of red-satin hearts for Valentine’s Day, because he thinks that’s in keeping with the theme of the day. I wish I could tell him to stop wasting his money this way. I never use that stuff!” So before plunking down your dough, ask yourself, “Do I see this gift bringing my date pleasure and enjoyment... or do I see it winding up in his or her guest room?” The answer ought to make your purchase decision very clear.

A simple solution: “Bath products are a great choice,” says Leusner. “You can find scents and formulas that suit your boyfriend or girlfriend’s personality, and most people really enjoy using them.”

5. A cute stuffed animal bearing a message of love

What’s wrong with it: We’ve never heard anyone admit to expressing themselves best through plush koalas, yet that medium remains popular for many a romantic utterance. “It’s so cheesy,” says Leusner. “When you buy that gift, it could be for anyone—even a child. What’s an adult going to do with a stuffed animal?” We’ll tell you what: Stuffed animals get tucked somewhere out-of-the-way. And when the romance dies, the Stuffed Bear of Love serves no practical purpose, so the recipient feels pathetic keeping it around as a reminder of her ex (that’s you) and donates it to a children’s charity.

A simple solution: Cut out the middlebear, er, middleman, and make a donation in your honey’s name to a charity you think he or she respects. Now that’s a thoughtful gift.

6. Racy lingerie

What’s wrong with it: Look, we all know that when you buy someone underwear, it’s more for you than for her. So don’t use Valentine’s Day as your excuse to present all the secret fantasies you’ve been keeping hidden away for the last 364 days. “A lot of the lingerie you see in stores for Valentine’s Day is opposite of women’s tastes,” warns Silvestri. Something that’s not her style can make her feel uncomfortable (figuratively and literally)—and criticized. The point of V-Day is to make couples feel happy about being together, so the last thing you want to say is “I don’t think you’re sexy enough—put this on.”

A simple solution: Buy a black or lacy version of a type of undie she already wears, if you two are intimate enough to know that kind of thing. At least you know you’re somewhere within her lingerie comfort zone. Or acknowledge the weather outside with something that will actually caress her skin for more hours than you: Long silk underwear.

7. Anything that could be considered a small appliance

What’s wrong with it: A toaster, a humidifier, a yogurt-maker: Trust us, if she needed it so badly, she’d have gotten it already. “Being too practical is a real romance-killer—no one wants anything with an electrical cord for Valentine’s Day,” says Silvestri. (Disclaimer: This rule can be waived if you’re buying an mp3 player or pre-loading a digital camera with shots of yourself holding up signs that say “Will you marry me?”). Here’s how one recipient puts it: “My boyfriend knows I love to cook, especially Asian food. But when I unwrapped a rice cooker last Valentine’s Day,” says Amy, 39, of Portland, ME, “it just felt very room-mate or haus-frau-ish... as if he didn’t see me as this amazing woman who rocks his world.”

A simple solution: Get her something she absolutely does not need but that you know she’d love, whether it’s a helicopter tour of the city or a pair of microfiber massaging slippers. C’mon, it’s a day for romance, which is supposed to be fun—think about her definition of that and shop accordingly.

8. A nice bottle of cologne or perfume

What’s wrong with it: It’s a time-honored gift, and all that fancy packaging might actually make you think you’re buying something your pumpkin will love. But the same spritz that reminds you of a splendid beach holiday in Europe may smell like bath day at the zoo to your beloved. Problem is, “Perfume choice is so specific that it’s a real challenge,” says Leusner. “It’s almost impossible to know what smells good to another person.” And let us not forget that nothing says “You smell weird” better than a bottle of concentrated fragrance. Recalls Danielle, 29, of Oakbrook, IL: “I like really feminine floral perfumes. When my boyfriend gave me this intense, musky stuff one year, I felt like, ‘Do you not know how I like to smell? or are you trying to tell me you wished I smelled like someone else?’ It really did a number on my confidence!”

A simple solution: Buy a soap, aftershave, or other body product in a fragrance that your loved one already has, or go for a high-end unscented body lotion.

9. A tie

What’s wrong with it: “Women actually have a harder time than men shopping at Valentine’s Day, because there are fewer gift options for men than for women,” says Silvestri. “Still, a tie is a big yawn.” It’s amazing how many women complain about generic gifts and then hit the tie aisle for their man. At best, the tie is by a great designer—which the guy likely won’t care about. At worst, it’s a novelty accessory featuring pigs, the Blues Brothers, or some other unwearable shtick. But usually, it’s just “about” the color the guy usually wears, meaning he already owns a dozen of ’em.

A simple solution: Head a little further into the menswear section and pick out a great scarf instead—it’s more casual and therefore more wearable; some fun or extra-soft (cashmere, maybe) socks; or another item that shows a dash more originality.

10. A gift certificate

What’s wrong with it: It’s one thing to not know exactly what your cutie might want, but it’s another to throw in the towel entirely. “Gift cards are too impersonal and disappointing,” says Borkowsky. “There’s no actual gift, yet you know how much someone spent. It’s like saying, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day, honey—I got you a price tag!’” Any gift for a service or store your partner doesn’t already frequent could be read as your attempt to change the person to your pleasing.

A simple solution: Take the money, re-read our suggestions above, and give gift-giving your best shot. Or, to earn bonus points, call your honey’s best pal and ask what to get—that will make a great impression on many levels.

http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?arti...=6&GT1=9066

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline
Posted
Mel sent me Flowers- They were delivered about an hour ago. Really sweet, but there are more practical things I could use right now.

Same here. Well Charles sent me (not Mel :P ) and they were delivered like 4 hours ago. I think flowers are a waste of money. I'd much prefer only 1 of my favorite flower and something else. But I'm glad he thought of it and they are beautiful, so thank you hubby (L):luv:



* K1 Timeline *
* 04/07/06: I-129F Sent to NSC
* 10/02/06: Interview date - APPROVED!
* 10/10/06: POE Houston
* 11/25/06: Wedding day!!!

* AOS/EAD/AP Timeline *
*01/05/07: AOS/EAD/AP sent
*02/19/08: AOS approved
*02/27/08: Permanent Resident Card received

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*12/31/09: Applied Lifting of Condition
*01/04/10: NOA
*02/12/10: Biometrics
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Complete Timeline

Posted

I love flowers and would never begrudge them.

But I agree about the alcohol... where IS that Bailey's???

8-30-05 Met David at a restaurant in Germany

3-28-06 David 'officially' proposed

4-26-06 I-129F mailed

9-25-06 Interview: APPROVED!

10-16-06 Flt to US, POE Detroit

11-5-06 Married

7-2-07 Green card received

9-12-08 Filed for divorce

12-5-08 Court hearing - divorce final

A great marriage is not when the "perfect couple" comes together.

It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

Posted

How about a jar of hot wax for back hair removal? :whistle:

8-30-05 Met David at a restaurant in Germany

3-28-06 David 'officially' proposed

4-26-06 I-129F mailed

9-25-06 Interview: APPROVED!

10-16-06 Flt to US, POE Detroit

11-5-06 Married

7-2-07 Green card received

9-12-08 Filed for divorce

12-5-08 Court hearing - divorce final

A great marriage is not when the "perfect couple" comes together.

It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted

Well, I love flowers anytime, but since Joe gives me things for no reason all year long I don't really expect anything special at Valentines Day - just a sweet, really sentimental card - and he does those great! He's getting a heart shaped surprise in his lunch tomrrow for work, a special treat from the cats, a sentimental card (he likes to get them too) and one of his favourite dinners. Valentine's Day is small but sweet for us.

“...Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive--it's such an interesting world. It wouldn't be half so interesting if we knew all about everything, would it? There'd be no scope for imagination then, would there?”

. Lucy Maude Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

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Another Member of the VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse!

Filed: Other Timeline
Posted

I don't have a problem with racy lingerie. As long as it flatters.

I could live with chocolate. From Holls. Don't give me that Russell Stover chit.

3 yellow roses trumps 12 red. Ditch the babies breath.

I personally get very excited about any gift in a ring-size box.

Stuffed animals ARE dumb. Why do I still like one now and then?

Filed: Other Country: United Kingdom
Timeline
Posted

I got a Tesco's Value Card :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

this one

http://www.code-d.com/tesco-cards/tesco-va...entines-day.pdf

you can see the rest of them here. :lol:

he sent it as a PDF file BUT.... he also designed and wrote the inside message as a .gif for me to print out as the inside part. :luv: :luv: :luv: :luv: :luv: :luv:

I think my shirt here tells the story :P I (L) my Geek :wub:

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Life long Texan, living in Hull, UK. How did this happen?

11 January - We met online and became friends

4 February - Became a couple

17 March - I went to Hull to meet the guy

20 March - First "I love you"

25 March - I go home :(

16 November - He comes to visit me in Texas

25 November - he leaves back home :(

14 December - ENGAGED! <3

1 March- I fly off to see my babe in Hull

4 April - I go home :(

9 October - He comes back to Texas!!!!

13 October - WEDDING!!!

22 October - He goes back to England and I continue to wait for my settlement visa.

13 December 2007 - Move to England

Now the wait begins, I will become a citizen then we will DFC back to the US.

the-british-are-comming-small.jpg965-smaller.jpg

Our slide show .......... Our page on TheKnot.com

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Filed: Timeline
Posted (edited)

I think the list was a lil harsh....of course it depends on the person you're getting for.

I don't like red roses & prefer a bunch of mixed flowers. D used to send them from time to time and it was great...especially when they'd come to the salon & everyone was all OOOOH! AHHH! but as time has gone on, i've told him that to me, flowers are the hugest waste of money. When we lived together, he used to occassionally come home from work with a store-bought bouquet from this sh!t-hot florist down the street, or even from ASDA. THAT was a really nice treat! And even better knowing you're not being fleeced to hell for a bunch of flowers!

Last year for Vday, he registered a special hybrid rose and named it after me. The British rose association (or whatever they're called) sent him the bulbs and we decided that instead of bringing it here where importing it may be a probbo, we'd grow it there.

He can buy me perfume any day of the week. He brings me lil bath gifts from Lush and doesn't always stick to my 'usuals' and everything he's ever brough home has always smelled so wonderful. He'd say 'oh this one smells like ____ and I know you like that'

And I love a cheesy teddy bear every now and again. In fact, I was once going through this I (L) AllThingsDenim phase, and before I left, he had a denim bear made at the teddy bear factory store. If you squeeze the bear, his voice comes on and has a message for me telling me that he misses me and how much he loves me. *sigh* And as far as choccie goes, he knows my faves (choccie covered coffee beans)

I think there can be real interesting takes on overused concepts...he has certainly imo mastered the art of making me feel special and showing me just how well he knows me. I do believe that the equation of flowers + choccies + teddy bear + lingerie = a happy woman is just cliched #######. But if you take that concept and make it your own, then you really can't lose. And Vday is just a day made really for consumerism so we don't have to spend just one day out of the year buying all sorts just to prove something we already show the rest of the time. Sometimes we have contests on who can buy the cheesiest gift...and you'd be amazed at how much thought can go into something as silly as that.

This post prolly seems so braggartly, but it's just me sharing what a special and thoughtful guy I've got and how totally thankful and lucky I am to have him!!!! Happy V-Day Boo! ILUWAMHCTUBWAFD

oh, PS, I'd never buy him a tie for Vday!!! I did, however, once buy him a Carling machine that somehow you put in a room temp can or bottle of lager and 60 seconds later it's ice cold. He was as happy as a pig in sh!t. ;)

wow lookit me ramble, can ya tell I miss him like mad? lol

Edited by LisaD
 

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