Wife ran off, got pregnant, blackmailing me into "helping" her get green card

[nyk349 9]

Because is she pops it out while we're married and puts my name on the certificate, I become a cash cow for her rat.

She IS with that guy. "We're taking care of it together," she said. He offered to marry her and she said no, 'cause she thinks remaining married to me guarantees her green card.

Two more days till I see this effin lawyer. They had no earlier times.

Edited April 21, 2015 by nyk349

[BaronB 42]

I'd first sort out the paternity issue if I were you. What if it is your child? There is a very slight chance of that being true. Anyway, speak to the lawyer and start moving in the right direction soon.

[nyk349 9]

I know, it's on the list. She had better hope it's not mine, 'cause if it is I'm taking it.

[nyk349 9]

Question.

While I do not believe she married me for a green card, as I've said, how would USCIS feel about knowing she's trying to intimidate me into remaining married with her and allowing her to claim me as the father of a child she had while still married to me?

I understand they are only interested in proof that the marriage was entered into in good faith and, just because we didn't work out, that's no proof of her committing any fraud. However, she intends to now force me to continue staying into a dead marriage for the purpose of a green card.

[Jon and Krissy 452]

Question.

While I do not believe she married me for a green card, as I've said, how would USCIS feel about knowing she's trying to intimidate me into remaining married with her and allowing her to claim me as the father of a child she had while still married to me?

I understand they are only interested in proof that the marriage was entered into in good faith and, just because we didn't work out, that's no proof of her committing any fraud. However, she intends to now force me to continue staying into a dead marriage for the purpose of a green card.

Honestly, it's a lot of 'he said/she said,' and basically, they don't care. When it comes down to it, she's going to be able to stay, and there's nothing you can do about it.

You suffer from the common delusion in this country that the 'justice system' is about justice. It isn't.

[Ontarkie 14,324]

To be honest tell her to finish the divorce and file for removal of condition on her own. Tell her she doesn't need you get her out of your life, why let her believe she needs you and set yourself up for more problems then you need. You said over and over she didn't use you, so let her know she can do it alone with out you.

Then deal with the baby if it's yours or not. If it is then go for joint custody, you will not get sole custody the courts do not like giving sole to one parent.

[nyk349 9]

Honestly, it's a lot of 'he said/she said,' and basically, they don't care. When it comes down to it, she's going to be able to stay, and there's nothing you can do about it.

You suffer from the common delusion in this country that the 'justice system' is about justice. It isn't.

Nah, I certainly don't believe that. And, as nice as it would've been for me to "stick it to her," I don't really care about that. She'll be herself the rest of her life and that is punishment enough. The reason I'm asking is just 'cause I'd like to foresee any possible immigration issues, i.e. what if she refuses to divorce me, runs to USCIS and tells them some story? Who knows. I'm covering all bases.

Also, what about the affidavit of support? Does this mean she can extract any money from me? And, after we're divorced, is it null or does it continue? I admit, I don't know what it obligates me to. When I signed it, I wasn't thinking I'd have to worry about it one day.

[Boiler 45,769]

You suffer from the common delusion in this country that the 'justice system' is about justice. It isn't.

Absolutely

[Boiler 45,769]

Also, what about the affidavit of support? Does this mean she can extract any money from me? And, after we're divorced, is it null or does it continue? I admit, I don't know what it obligates me to. When I signed it, I wasn't thinking I'd have to worry about it one day.

In very odd cases it has happened, probably a good idea to read what you have signed.

Usually the first thing that happens to get you off the hook is if she naturalises.

[tuckin14 58]

USCIS has very limited interest in the drama of your marriage and divorce. And unless you want to, you don't have to have much interest in her immigration status.

You can certainly contact USCIS and tell them your side of the story. Based on what you said - date of separation 11/20, expected due date 8/16 - it remains possible you are the father. It would be easier to prove if you hadn't seen each other at all during the reasonable period of conception. However you can advise USCIS that you deny paternity and a paternity test is pending.

Other than that, I would just put it all in your lawyer's hands. Yes, it could cost you $10K more or less, but you said you're about to start a lucrative career, so that sum won't break you.

It's wildly unlikely that she can get a significant financial settlement from you. She is not entitled to participation in your earnings prior to the date of marriage (unless you were engaged in some kind of joint business venture). You said you were married in December 2013 and separated in November 2014. She is presumptively entitled to half of the marital property, i.e. what you accumulated while married. If you changed all your individual accounts to joint following the marriage that would of course be problematic. But to the extent that you owned property prior to the date of marriage and it was not comingled, gifted to your wife or to the marriage, or increased in value by her active participation, it should not be subject to division.

But really - just let the lawyer handle it. It costs some money but the peace of mind is worth it. I was actively involved in my divorce at first, but when I got tired of my psychotic ex (who developed a habit of, when she couldn't sleep, emailing slanderous letters to my family, apparently thinking that if she used enough invective they would take the side of the woman who said the day after my mother died "I hope she rots in hell")) I just told her to communicate only through counsel.

Litigation is the one place where they can't threaten or abuse you if you're actually in the right.

[archie119 9]

I think you are way too worried and paranoid. Like I said before, block her number, change the locks on the house. Pretend she doesn't exist and let her battle with lawyers. These stupid recorded meetings sound like people watch too much TV. And recording a phone conversation is illegal in most states.

She is living on her own and fending for herself, let her keep doing that. Let the court order the paternity test if she doesn't want to do one when the baby is born. She still could lose the baby, get hit by a bus, get back together with whoever the Dad is. Why don't you focus on your life instead of the life you have no control over.

its like u in a cave no one said wire tap any smart phone can record a telephone conversation any one with a google+ account can record every text message received and its free of cost so wake up not a movie

[BaronB 42]

1. Get a bonafide divorce.

2. Determine paternity

3. Move on with your life (subject to 2.)

Trying to be clever or taping conversations is pointless.

Hire the biggest, baddest shark of a lawyer you can afford. Pay now, save yourself a lifetime of expense.

Edited April 21, 2015 by BaronB

[madtownguy 164]

its like u in a cave no one said wire tap any smart phone can record a telephone conversation any one with a google+ account can record every text message received and its free of cost so wake up not a movie

You are a genius, you should work on your English skills before you start giving legal advice. Even in your own state of Connecticut it is illegal to record a conversation. If you do and someone else finds out they can take you to court. No lawyer will suggest recording a conversation in your state. I suggest you focus on grammar before you turn to law.

[archie119 9]

You are a genius, you should work on your English skills before you start giving legal advice. Even in your own state of Connecticut it is illegal to record a conversation. If you do and someone else finds out they can take you to court. No lawyer will suggest recording a conversation in your state. I suggest you focus on grammar before you turn to law.

the person isn't from connecticut lol he can -- Who must give permission to record a telephone or in-person conversation?

Federal law permits recording telephone calls and in-person conversations with the consent of at least one of the parties. See 18 U.S.C. 2511(2)(d). This is called a "one-party consent" law. Under a one-party consent law, you can record a phone call or conversation so long as you are a party to the conversation. Furthermore, if you are not a party to the conversation, a "one-party consent" law will allow you to record the conversation or phone call so long as your source consents and has full knowledge that the communication will be recorded.

In addition to federal law, thirty-eight states and the District of Columbia have adopted "one-party consent" laws and permit individuals to record phone calls and conversations to which they are a party or when one party to the communication consents. See the State Law: Recording section of this legal guide for information on state wiretapping laws.

When must you get permission from everyone involved before recording?

Eleven states require the consent of every party to a phone call or conversation in order to make the recording lawful. These "two-party consent" laws have been adopted in California, Connecticut, Florida, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Montana, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania and Washington. (Notes: (1) Illinois' two-party consent statute was held unconstitutional in 2014; (2) Hawai'i is in general a one-party state, but requires two-party consent if the recording device is installed in a private place; (3) Massachusetts bans "secret" recordings rather than requiring explicit consent from all parties.). Although they are referred to as "two-party consent" laws, consent must be obtained from every party to a phone call or conversation if it involves more than two people. In some of these states, it might be enough if all parties to the call or conversation know that you are recording and proceed with the communication anyway, even if they do not voice explicit consent. etc

[Dave&Roza 748]

"She texted me last night saying she's going into town tomorrow and do I want this sauce I used to like."

She has found someone that has told her she can get her 10 year GC if she can file a VAWA claim against you. She will show up at your place all bruised and battered and call the police and they will get you for assault and now she will change her tune and claim the child is your so you can be on the hook for child support while she is living with someone else and you are rotting in jail Will your child support go to the child?

1) Stop worrying about immigration issues. It is HER immigration journey and she does not need you to obtain a 10 year GC. As was stated before, she ENTERED the marriage in good faith. Lived with you for a while, but it did not work out so she found comfort with someone else and also got pregnant. She files for ROC once the divorce is finalized, end of story. You are still on the hook for the I-864, but only if she receives means tested benefits before meeting the conditions of the I-864. The last text she sent tells me she has found some one to help her with her immigration issues. STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!

2) file for divorce ASAP AND determine the paternity of the child as that can be a potential 18 year commitment where she will get the money and you will have little control over how it is spent. I would offer a small amount of spousal support for a few years rather than wait for her lawyer to go after your potential income.

I will be interested to see what the lawyer has to advise you are you next step. I wish you well.

Dave