32 year age gap - older American woman

[jessiepatt 7]

He is unemployed.

[Ryan H 3,813]

One post contributing nothing to the discussion removed.

[Boiler 45,672]

What is his profession/qualifications, on of the issues of the K1 is that you can not work for at least 3 months so he needs savings to tidy himself over.

[InHisTime 110]

He is unemployed.

I do hope he finds job soon so he could help you financially. He's 25 then should be productive at this time to help you with all the immigration expenses.

No one could exactly predict the outcome of your relationship / engagement / visa request.

I do understand your feelings, being in love. Love can make us blind. But take good care of your heart as you have a little girl to take care.

I agree with the suggestions here, more face time interactions, knowing him so well....slowly but surely. As noted, Ghana embassy is tough and I think it is for your own good as there were lots of cases of fraud. The change of attitude / heart and mind could happen once he comes to the states or receives his GC.

Three days meeting in person to get into an engagement is quite unbelievable and risky. Talking online and over the phone is not enough to measure his sincerity. He is unemployed then he has all time to be online everyday but for me that isn't enough at all. Hope he helps by getting a job and aim to help you for the cost of travel visits and immigration expenses. It should take efforts from him as well.

No one could actually tell the best thing you should do... but I know, in your heart... you know what is best for you. Pray to God and I am sure He will direct and give you signs for reflection.

Best wishes !

[Fuji1978 33]

Efia - girl, your story made me scream out loud! Not denied after ALL THAT???? Whoa, I feel your pain. So sorry. If I might ask, what is your situation at present?

I think you're speaking to me.....we married that same week after the denial and now I am in the process of filing the I-130. I have most everything together and will be mailing it out next week. I have also booked a two week trip to Ghana this July to visit my wife for now a fourth time. Next year, at interview time.....I will certainly book another flight and attend the first interview.

[jessiepatt 7]

Oh, Daniel! Sorry - yes I was. I'm happy to read you have continued with your process and are close to your next interview. Blessings!!!

[jessiepatt 7]

What is his profession/qualifications, on of the issues of the K1 is that you can not work for at least 3 months so he needs savings to tidy himself over.

I was planning on including him in my household overhead until he secured work.

I do hope he finds job soon so he could help you financially. He's 25 then should be productive at this time to help you with all the immigration expenses.

No one could exactly predict the outcome of your relationship / engagement / visa request.

I do understand your feelings, being in love. Love can make us blind. But take good care of your heart as you have a little girl to take care.

I agree with the suggestions here, more face time interactions, knowing him so well....slowly but surely. As noted, Ghana embassy is tough and I think it is for your own good as there were lots of cases of fraud. The change of attitude / heart and mind could happen once he comes to the states or receives his GC.

Three days meeting in person to get into an engagement is quite unbelievable and risky. Talking online and over the phone is not enough to measure his sincerity. He is unemployed then he has all time to be online everyday but for me that isn't enough at all. Hope he helps by getting a job and aim to help you for the cost of travel visits and immigration expenses. It should take efforts from him as well.

No one could actually tell the best thing you should do... but I know, in your heart... you know what is best for you. Pray to God and I am sure He will direct and give you signs for reflection.

Best wishes !

[jessiepatt 7]

I do hope he finds job soon so he could help you financially. He's 25 then should be productive at this time to help you with all the immigration expenses.

No one could exactly predict the outcome of your relationship / engagement / visa request.

I do understand your feelings, being in love. Love can make us blind. But take good care of your heart as you have a little girl to take care.

I agree with the suggestions here, more face time interactions, knowing him so well....slowly but surely. As noted, Ghana embassy is tough and I think it is for your own good as there were lots of cases of fraud. The change of attitude / heart and mind could happen once he comes to the states or receives his GC.

Three days meeting in person to get into an engagement is quite unbelievable and risky. Talking online and over the phone is not enough to measure his sincerity. He is unemployed then he has all time to be online everyday but for me that isn't enough at all. Hope he helps by getting a job and aim to help you for the cost of travel visits and immigration expenses. It should take efforts from him as well.

No one could actually tell the best thing you should do... but I know, in your heart... you know what is best for you. Pray to God and I am sure He will direct and give you signs for reflection.

Best wishes !

The whole scenario is one where he is highly frustrated at not getting educated or having outlets for employment. I saw the way people struggle for a living when I was there. I'm just learning so much today on this site, and I'm kind of overdoing all these replies, I know. I just feel shell shocked at how uninformed I am about the way I filed my petition, and now I'm not seeing practical options for as much face time as everyone says we'll need. Facing a possible break up is now something we have discussed. Break up? - broken hearts, dashed dreams and dazed head. I just highly underestimated the time and expense it will take to acheive our desired plans. Just really mistaken... He is quite intelligent, and I pray he gets the right opportunities in life to fulfill his potential. My life is winding down, and finding love would be quite a nice thing - that would be for both of us. So today I try to rest for a moment. Thanks for your input!

[BaronB 42]

You're not going to like what I am going to say but I don't think you currently have anywhere near enough evidence of a bona fide relationship. I would suggest the two of you spend more time with each other before making such a big decision. How well do you really know this man who is more than half your age? Have you spoken to your friends and family about this and how do they feel?

The fact is that there are lots of scam artists in poor African countries looking for a route to Europe or the US. USCIS knows this and as others have pointed out there are too many reg flags right now. You say you have a daughter - have you considered what impact this would have on her if it turned out to be a scam? Please think this through.

[jessiepatt 7]

You're not going to like what I am going to say but I don't think you currently have anywhere near enough evidence of a bona fide relationship. I would suggest the two of you spend more time with each other before making such a big decision. How well do you really know this man who is more than half your age? Have you spoken to your friends and family about this and how do they feel?

The fact is that there are lots of scam artists in poor African countries looking for a route to Europe or the US. USCIS knows this and as others have pointed out there are too many reg flags right now. You say you have a daughter - have you considered what impact this would have on her if it turned out to be a scam? Please think this through.

Yeah, I'm not liking your post. Basically, it's like...duh?

No one stresses this more that I do. Now that my daughter is involved she will be impacted one way or another, and that's why I've wanted to work so hard at being succesful. But, I get what most posts are saying about my rather ignorant filing of the I-129 f, with such a short passing of time...etc. Hey, I did my best to meet him before I introduced them, I followed my heart, used my head, sought counsel, informed family and friends, and now I'm blind sided by the facts here on this site. I'm so sad. I am grateful for the info., that's for sure! I'm at one step at a time.

[Boiler 45,672]

You just need a plan, nothing in immigration is quick, so there is time.

He obviously need to work on his education and his employment. Presumably they have night schools he can go to to catch up, otherwise what would he do when he got here except flip burgers?

And there is the relationship issues.

So think of it in a much longer time frame and anything is possible.

[jessiepatt 7]

You just need a plan, nothing in immigration is quick, so there is time.

He obviously need to work on his education and his employment. Presumably they have night schools he can go to to catch up, otherwise what would he do when he got here except flip burgers?

And there is the relationship issues.

So think of it in a much longer time frame and anything is possible.

Yeah, I'm just wiped out today, for sure.

[Boiler 45,672]

No rush.

Take a week out, talk to family and friends.

[BaronB 42]

Yeah, I'm not liking your post. Basically, it's like...duh?

No one stresses this more that I do. Now that my daughter is involved she will be impacted one way or another, and that's why I've wanted to work so hard at being succesful. But, I get what most posts are saying about my rather ignorant filing of the I-129 f, with such a short passing of time...etc. Hey, I did my best to meet him before I introduced them, I followed my heart, used my head, sought counsel, informed family and friends, and now I'm blind sided by the facts here on this site. I'm so sad. I am grateful for the info., that's for sure! I'm at one step at a time.

Filing the I-129f is not your problem at the moment. The worst is that it gets turned down but you can always file again or get married and file the I-130 petition. To me the bigger issue is whether this man is being honest with you. Your daughter has not been impacted yet but she will be if your fiance does not have honest intentions.

[pdking5000 56]

This is very much not true. I am 21 years older than my husband, I am divorced with 2 children, totally different culture, different religion. Age was NEVER an issue or ever mentioned throughout our entire journey. We never had any RFEs, petition was approved quickly, sailed through NVC and his interview was 7 months after NOA2. He has been here 2 and a half years, removed conditions without an rfe or interview and now he is preparing for citizenship in July. I wish people would stop with the nonsense, telling couples with a significant age gap with the woman being older that there is a a big chance they will be denied merely because she is older just is NOT true. Time and time again, over and over on this site we see these types of couples APPROVED. The consulate looks at the entire picture and no one can be denied based on age difference alone. We have yet to see a single couple ever denied for an age difference. The consulate wants to see an ongoing, bonafide relationship. If you don't have enough evidence to back up the relationship that reason for denial, not age.

Well good for you. Not everyone can be so lucky. African consulates are among the toughest for visa issuance, so whatever was ignored in your case may be heavily scrutinized in hers. Cultural norms are very important in African consulates, and if you have read reviews of those that have endured them you would realize that the embassies there factor in familial acceptance and cultural practices often times to the detriment of the beneficary.