My USC Husband Does Not Want to Sign I-864

[novedsac 355]

Okay, so in May, just a few weeks away, she will hit the '180 days of unauthorized stay' mark which would put her in a three year ban should she wish to come back to this country.

So, OP, you should determine exactly when this date is ... your date of entry + 90 days on the I94 + 180 days ... count the days, not the months, as every month is different. This is the date you need to leave the US should you wish to remain eligible to return under another visa at somepoint in the future without a ban of entry.

OP does not need to be present to initiate, conduct or conclude a divorce. However, it is imperative that the OPs husband file the divorce action if she wishes to be considered 'divorced' under PI law. She can sign papers via mail or he can conclude the divorce without her presence and/or appearance. There may be a waiting period before divorce can be initiated, so maybe done after she leaves the US as noted above.

This would keep OPs options open in the future should she meet someone else more responsible and decide to return to the US. If OP cannot convince the husband to sign the I864 and file AOS in the next couple of weeks, I don't think additional time would make any difference. It's not that difficult of an issue to understand.

Edited April 16, 2015 by novedsac

[Boiler 45,769]

Ouch, the way the post was worded I had ssumed she had just got here, entered and married in August!

[lost_at_sea 995]

It's weird to me how he thinks he's making it *your* choice about leaving or staying. It seems to me like *he's* make the choice since by not signing the I-864 he's essentially saying "go home" (since staying illegally is not a sane choice for you and your son, and one you really should not even be considering).

Does he not actually want to be your husband anymore? That seems to be the real root of the problem, on a relationship level. Are you splitting up whether he signs or not?

[Jawaree 718]

Cant go VAWA route for a change of mind of the

husband, that's a break-down of relationship, no

police dept will sign I 918B because someone

changes their mind in continuing a petition, theres

no self petition in the US. He saw or figured out

some reason why he don't want this anymore, nor

to be saddled with financial responsibilities an I-864.

[McBy 1]

I-94 expired on Nov 4, 2014.

Okay, so in May, just a few weeks away, she will hit the '180 days of unauthorized stay' mark which would put her in a three year ban should she wish to come back to this country.

So, OP, you should determine exactly when this date is ... your date of entry + 90 days on the I94 + 180 days ... count the days, not the months, as every month is different. This is the date you need to leave the US should you wish to remain eligible to return under another visa at somepoint in the future without a ban of entry.

OP does not need to be present to initiate, conduct or conclude a divorce. However, it is imperative that the OPs husband file the divorce action if she wishes to be considered 'divorced' under PI law. She can sign papers via mail or he can conclude the divorce without her presence and/or appearance. There may be a waiting period before divorce can be initiated, so maybe done after she leaves the US as noted above.

This would keep OPs options open in the future should she meet someone else more responsible and decide to return to the US. If OP cannot convince the husband to sign the I864 and file AOS in the next couple of weeks, I don't think additional time would make any difference. It's not that difficult of an issue to understand.

[Boiler 45,769]

So 3rd May, not to rush it but you need have left by the end of April. So you have a couple of weeks.

[McBy 1]

It's really a weird situation. I couldn't even believe it.

Let's say it has been a hard adjustment for both of us. The married life together and me migrating here. We both know that marriage is not easy. We are old enough and we both have gone through a lot in our lives before marriage and we just want to have a happy family.

We were even supposed to file the AOS, filled out all the forms but when he read about the I-864 and the legal implications it has on him, he would not sign it. He is willing to sign the divorce papers over the affidavit.

Honestly, if we remove the affidavit, we would be fine. We will both work this marriage out and stay as a happy family. It's just in the signing where we are having problems. He is even saying that he does not want me to go and it will surely hurt him a lot. I have just told him that I choose not to stay here in the US illegal. He does not want to come with me to the Philippines if it's just the documents that he is having problems with.

I could not fully understand. It would be easy to comprehend if he would just say that he thinks that the marriage would not work and we just need to move forward with our own lives.

It's weird to me how he thinks he's making it *your* choice about leaving or staying. It seems to me like *he's* make the choice since by not signing the I-864 he's essentially saying "go home" (since staying illegally is not a sane choice for you and your son, and one you really should not even be considering).

Does he not actually want to be your husband anymore? That seems to be the real root of the problem, on a relationship level. Are you splitting up whether he signs or not?

We will talk about this. Im thinking of letting my aon finish thr school year but that would mean to leave in June or July. Thank you.

So 3rd May, not to rush it but you need have left by the end of April. So you have a couple of weeks.

[apple21 953]

Divorce him and go back home. Clearly he's just concerned about himself. You'll find a better man.

Good luck.

[Boiler 45,769]

Realistically I guess you will not be coming back anyway.

Something that has not been mentioned but he signed the I 134 and I can not believe he knew that was not enforcable but was unaware of the I 864.

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Tell your lousy husband that you are going to divorce him and return to the Philippines. I would do this before leaving to the Philippines because once you are back there it is almost impossible to get an annulment, let alone a divorce. See if he man-ups! Sounds like a real loser to me. Just saying...this is my humble opinion.

[McBy 1]

I may not come back within the next few years, yes. That is unless I will have some opportunities like business, trainings, or conferences. That's one of the things I am also concerned about. However, of course I will have to weigh which would be better, like if I should let my son finish this schoolyear with the risk of being banned for 3 years or leave soon and be safe with possible opportunities... Sigh

Realistically I guess you will not be coming back anyway.

Something that has not been mentioned but he signed the I 134 and I can not believe he knew that was not enforcable but was unaware of the I 864.

[Boiler 45,769]

I may not come back within the next few years, yes. That is unless I will have some opportunities like business, trainings, or conferences. That's one of the things I am also concerned about. However, of course I will have to weigh which would be better, like if I should let my son finish this schoolyear with the risk of being banned for 3 years or leave soon and be safe with possible opportunities... Sigh

Not sure how realistic non immigrant visa is with the over stay. ban makes it much worse.

[McBy 1]

That is true... Even without overstay it has been difficult for non-immigrant visa... Good point.

Not sure how realistic non immigrant visa is with the over stay. ban makes it much worse.

[asisflyer 47]

Even if you convinced him that the I-864 liability is less than the potential divorce liability;

You would always have a CLOUD OVER THE MARRIAGE because he valued this liability above continuity of a critical relationship and

was utterly apathetic as regards your child.

Many states (like NY) will not even use I-864 recourse on the sponsor for medicaid (as an example).

3 IDEAS:

a. He thinks you'll run off and recourse public funds he'll be billed for. Any reason he might think that?

b. He decided the love isn't there and sees this as his way out. Why add liability he thinks, when this can pressure her out.

c. He wants to lock you in a closet out-of-status and pressure you into his bidding with fear of deportation and separation from your child.

Call him out on the A vs B vs C with a camera in the corner......... alas a door might open.

Edited April 16, 2015 by asisflyer

[McBy 1]

When we talked about it he said that he just doesn't believe that the affidavit is a way to go. Like what happened lately with the immigrants granted residency he said something like it may happen to us too, and he would not need to sign that doc.

He also said that our marriage has been stressful to him. So he thinks that just in case we would go for divorce after the AOS he would be in huge trouble.

Lately, he said that he just does not think that it is his responsibility to sign it. He heard of the self petition and even recommended it. He is willing to give me some funds to start a new life again but he also says that he does not want me to go but i just have to wait perhaps a year or two before he may think of signing.

Even if you convinced him that the I-864 liability is less than the potential divorce liability;

You would always have a CLOUD OVER THE MARRIAGE because he valued this liability above continuity of a critical relationship and

was utterly apathetic as regards your child.

Many states (like NY) will not even use I-864 recourse on the sponsor for medicaid (as an example).

3 IDEAS:

a. He thinks you'll run off and recourse public funds he'll be billed for. Any reason he might think that?

b. He decided the love isn't there and sees this as his way out. Why add liability he thinks, when this can pressure her out.

c. He wants to lock you in a closet out-of-status and pressure you into his bidding with fear of deportation and separation from your child.

Call him out on the A vs B vs C with a camera in the corner......... alas a door might open.