Jokes

[Fandango 1,440]

hope no one gets offended but I thought this was cute....

A Leeds Fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man u fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Leeds fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Leeds fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done. The scouser was next up and after watching the scene, said:" Please fix two pillows on my back, under my dress" But even two pillows & 1 dress could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again.

The Manc was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your city has some of the best bars, nightclubs and restaurants in Europe, your city and football team is known throughout the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness", The manc replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100

lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks.

"Please tie the Scouser to my back."

[heishe 2]

/blank stare

[Fandango 1,440]

aww I didn't mean to offend anyone :/

[Jasman0717 9]

[heishe 2]

aww I didn't mean to offend anyone :/

Naw, I'm just making fun!

[Pigu 0]

Don't mind heishe, she just doesn't know a Scouser from her elbow.

[Fandango 1,440]

Don't mind heishe, she just doesn't know a Scouser from her elbow.

It was just footy humor...coulda been any two teams...lighten up!

[Pigu 0]

Charming mollification what! I'd say! Good show.

Edited February 13, 2007 by Pigu

[Fandango 1,440]

Charming mollification what! I'd say! Good show.

eh, sorry you were offended...that was not my intention. really. I'm not even a ManU supporter nor a Liverpool 'hater', so try not to make a bigger deal about it than what it was....a mild footy joke.

And yeah, it's a mild one as far as footy jokes go....

But whatever...I still thought it was cute! Tomato to-mah-to!

[Muuuuah 0]

Charming mollification what! I'd say! Good show.

eh, sorry you were offended...that was not my intention. really. I'm not even a ManU supporter nor a Liverpool 'hater', so try not to make a bigger deal about it than what it was....a mild footy joke.

And yeah, it's a mild one as far as footy jokes go....

But whatever...I still thought it was cute! Tomato to-mah-to!

We are a Liverpool household...and i thought the joke was really funny we are not offended at all...where have some peoples humour gone?

[heishe 2]

Charming mollification what! I'd say! Good show.

eh, sorry you were offended...that was not my intention. really. I'm not even a ManU supporter nor a Liverpool 'hater', so try not to make a bigger deal about it than what it was....a mild footy joke.

And yeah, it's a mild one as far as footy jokes go....

But whatever...I still thought it was cute! Tomato to-mah-to!

He wasn't offended I wasn't offended!!

Okay let's all hold hands

[Fandango 1,440]

kumbaya...............come on everyone!.............

Don't make me post another joke, I don't think I could handle it

and THANK GOD Sheila that you arrived when ya did

[tmma 467]

hope no one gets offended but I thought this was cute....

A Leeds Fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man u fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Leeds fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Leeds fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done. The scouser was next up and after watching the scene, said:" Please fix two pillows on my back, under my dress" But even two pillows & 1 dress could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again.

The Manc was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your city has some of the best bars, nightclubs and restaurants in Europe, your city and football team is known throughout the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness", The manc replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100

lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks.

"Please tie the Scouser to my back."

kumbaya...............come on everyone!.............

Don't make me post another joke, I don't think I could handle it

Go on....You KNOW you reeeeeeeeeally want to post that Bob Hope joke you told me yesterday! Double dog dare ya!

JKJKJKJKJK btw--so not a good idea

[Mags 112]

I found it hilarious..... :lol:

[MichelleandCraig 1]

:lol: I wouldn't have understood it but for the fact that I have learned, via Craig, about the ManU/Liverpool rivalry.....so many things I've learned since I met that guy!!! M.