Male vs female ATM Procedures

[ladyspotthedog 0]

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Reinsert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Recheck makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

I'm scared to say I actually do number 10

[MichelleandCraig 1]

I've noticed myself doing a few of those I must say!

maybe he should try out for American Idol??

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

How about the people who fill out the deposit envelopes at the ATM? I always get an envelope, pull through and then fill it out out of the way. I actually keep extra envelopes in my car now.

[mike&jie 1]

[Kajikit 65]

I'm sorry... when my husband uses the drive-through it goes more like this -

-drive up to box

-grope for deposit envelope

-move to atm

-grope for pen in glovebox and knock it out onto the floor.

-realise ONLY pen in cat has fallen under carseat. Swear and grope some more.

-write deposit slip.

-attempt to insert atm card in slot, realise car is too far away from machine.

-jog car leftwards, attempt again.

-reach for keypad, still can't get it. Undo seatbelt, open car door and lean out.

-type pin etc. make mistake and try again.

-attempt to insert deposit envelope in slot, slot refuses to take it.

-turn deposit envelope around twice, try again.

-collect printed receipt, almost drive away without card.

-collect card, move on.

I'm sorry... but after all that wouldn't it be quicker to park car and walk INTO bank and hand cash to the real person?

[aussiewench 9]

Kajikit...oh how sweet.....he's in touch with his feminine side

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

Love it!

[Sister Fracas 5]

Kajikit...oh how sweet.....he's in touch with his feminine side

[smoochies 0]

[almaty 19]

i hate to be behing pokey chopf##ks at the atm..both sexes...

[Tiksman 1]

fuuuuuuuunnnyyyy

[meddykomp 0]

It's funny even if not accurate.

[akdiver 3]

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Reinsert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Recheck makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

That's almost correct. Except there should be instruction #28 for women: Make appointment with body shop to repair damage to vehicle caused by side-swiping the protective metal poles in front of ATM.