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Filed: K-3 Visa Country: United Kingdom
Timeline
Posted

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Reinsert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Recheck makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

I'm scared to say I actually do number 10 :lol::lol::lol:

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Our Second Anniversary

I want to succeed in America where, unlike Britain, they do not regard ambition as being the same as eating babies.

The National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do," but I think the gun helps, you know? I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to have a really dodgy heart to have that happen.

There's a huge hole in the whole Flood drama, because anything that could float or swim got away scot-free, and it was the idea to wipe out everything, He didn't say, "I will kill everything, except the floating ones and the swimming ones, who will get out due to a loophole."

Eddie Izzard

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Posted

How about the people who fill out the deposit envelopes at the ATM? I always get an envelope, pull through and then fill it out out of the way. I actually keep extra envelopes in my car now.

"The fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the U.S. Government can’t pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government’s reckless fiscal policies."

Senator Barack Obama
Senate Floor Speech on Public Debt
March 16, 2006



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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted
:lol::lol:

mike & jemema

7-28-05 first met online

10-4-05 engaged-in phills

12-19-05 filed I-129-f

NOA1??????????

1/23/06 NOA2 RECIEVED , SNAIL MAIL

1/25/06 nvc recieve's petiton

1/27/06 forward to manila

1/29/06 manila recieved

5/18/06 medical exam

5/25/06 INTERVIEW

APPROVED......................

5/26/06 Visa in Hand

6/5/06 Back to the States Together

6/13/06 Applied for SSN

6/26/06 recieved ssn

7/28/06 Wedding planned

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
Timeline
Posted

I'm sorry... when my husband uses the drive-through it goes more like this -

-drive up to box

-grope for deposit envelope

-move to atm

-grope for pen in glovebox and knock it out onto the floor.

-realise ONLY pen in cat has fallen under carseat. Swear and grope some more.

-write deposit slip.

-attempt to insert atm card in slot, realise car is too far away from machine.

-jog car leftwards, attempt again.

-reach for keypad, still can't get it. Undo seatbelt, open car door and lean out.

-type pin etc. make mistake and try again.

-attempt to insert deposit envelope in slot, slot refuses to take it.

-turn deposit envelope around twice, try again.

-collect printed receipt, almost drive away without card.

-collect card, move on.

I'm sorry... but after all that wouldn't it be quicker to park car and walk INTO bank and hand cash to the real person?

Karen - Melbourne, Australia/John - Florida, USA

- Proposal (20 August 2000) to marriage (19 December 2004) - 4 years, 3 months, 25 days (1,578 days)

STAGE 1 - Applying for K1 (15 September 2003) to K1 Approval (13 July 2004) - 9 months, 29 days (303 days)

STAGE 2A - Arriving in US (4 Nov 2004) to AOS Application (16 April 2005) - 5 months, 13 days (164 days)

STAGE 2B - Applying for AOS to GC Approval - 9 months, 4 days (279 days)

STAGE 3 - Lifting Conditions. Filing (19 Dec 2007) to Approval (December 11 2008)

STAGE 4 - CITIZENSHIP (filing under 5-year rule - residency start date on green card Jan 11th, 2006)

*N400 filed December 15, 2011

*Interview March 12, 2012

*Oath Ceremony March 23, 2012.

ALL DONE!!!!!!!!

Posted
:lol::lol: Kajikit...oh how sweet.....he's in touch with his feminine side

You can find me on FBI

An overview of Security Name Checks And Administrative Review at Service Center, NVC & Consulate levels.

Detailed Review USCIS Alien Security Checks

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11324375801ij.gif

View Timeline HERE

I am but a wench not a lawyer. My advice and opinion is just that. I read, I research, I learn.

Filed: Country: England
Timeline
Posted
:lol::lol: Kajikit...oh how sweet.....he's in touch with his feminine side

:lol:

Co-Founder of VJ Fluffy Kitty Posse -
avatar.jpg

31 Dec 2003 MARRIED
26 Jan 2004 Filed I130; 23 May 2005 Received Visa
30 Jun 2005 Arrived at Chicago POE
02 Apr 2007 Filed I751; 22 May 2008 Received 10-yr green card
14 Jul 2012 Citizenship Oath Ceremony

Posted

i hate to be behing pokey chopf##ks at the atm..both sexes...

Peace to All creatures great and small............................................

But when we turn to the Hebrew literature, we do not find such jokes about the donkey. Rather the animal is known for its strength and its loyalty to its master (Genesis 49:14; Numbers 22:30).

Peppi_drinking_beer.jpg

my burro, bosco ..enjoying a beer in almaty

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...st&id=10835

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Thailand
Timeline
Posted

fuuuuuuuunnnyyyy :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

09/05/2005 Met Tik thru my brothers Thai Wife

12/01/2005 First meeting in Thailand

12/12/2005 Returned to the USA

12/13/2005 I-129F mailed express mail to TSC

12/15/2005 TSC Recived paperwork

12/21/2005 Noa-1

12/27/2005 Noa-1 recieved snail mail dated Dec 21 transfered to CSC

03/14/2006 NOA 2

03/16/2006 Medical, Police report and postal fee paid.

03/21/2006 NVC Sent to Bangkok

03/24/2006 Bangkok gets package tracked online with DHL

03/27/2006 Mailed in packet 3

04/04/2006 Interview assigned May 22 2006

05/22/2006 Interview day... delayed Approval because of FBI NAME CHECK

05/26/2006 VISA RECIEVED!!!!!!!!!!

05/27/2006 POE LAX ..MY BABY IN AMERICA!!!!

06/17/2006 Wedding DAY!!!!!!!!!!!! MARRIED!!!

06/19/2006 Applied for ssn

06/26/2006 Recieved SSN

AOS

08/03/2006 Sent AOS paperwork to Chicago lockbox

08/07/2006 Recived at Chicago

08/15/2006 NOA for 485 and 131

08/30/2006 Biometrics

08/30/2006 Notice Transfered to CSC.. Hello My old CSC Friends

9/26/06 Received Welcome Notice email

09/30/06 Green Card IN HAND

01/08/07 Pregnant !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

09/26/07 Baby Here!!!!!

(\___/)

( ='.'= )

(")__(")

Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Sweden
Timeline
Posted

It's funny even if not accurate.

I-130

2005-09-23 Sent I-130.

2005-10-05 I-130 NOA1

2006-02-19 *touched*

2006-02-21 RFE

2006-03-09 RFE received by CSC

2006-03-29 I-130 NOA2

2006-03-31 *touched*

2006-04-01 *touched*

2006-04-12 NVC assigned case number

I-129F

2005-11-18 I-129F Sent

2005-11-29 I-129F NOA1

2005-12-27 I-129F RFE :(

2006-01-13 I-129F RFE Reply sent.

2006-01-25 *touched*

2006-01-26 I-129F RFE received

2006-04-04 *touched*

2006-04-04 NOA2 **approved!!!**

2006-04-20 NVC assigned case number

2006-04-21 case forwarded to embassy

2006-04-26 packet 3 received

2006-05-02 packet 3 sent

2006-05-04 packet 4 received

2006-05-15 Interview in Stockholm **APPROVED**

2006-05-23 My sweetie is coming home!!

  • 2 years later...
Filed: Other Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Reinsert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Recheck makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

That's almost correct. Except there should be instruction #28 for women: Make appointment with body shop to repair damage to vehicle caused by side-swiping the protective metal poles in front of ATM.

PEOPLE: READ THE APPLICATION FORM INSTRUCTIONS!!!! They have a lot of good information in them! Most of the questions I see on VJ are clearly addressed by the form instructions. Give them a read!! If you are unable to understand the form instructions, I highly recommend hiring someone who does to help you with the process. Our process, from K-1 to Citizenship and U.S. Passport is completed. Good luck with your process.

 

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