Need advice after being naive/dumb!

[Shekinah013 8]

New member, very chagrined to have only found out important info and this site after making some baaaad decisions. My daughter (US citizen; college student) and her Canadian boyfriend (fast food worker w/o college degree) are engaged to be engaged. He has visited several times, most recently from Nov-Jan. He had been planning a trip to visit next month and was going to stay the summer. They surprised us by saying that they want to go ahead and get married at the end of her fall semester (so December), and we all thought he could just stay while applying for the proper paperwork. I know NOW that that's wrong and was very naive! But it wouldn't have been as big a deal as the problem that we've created for ourselves because we didn't know better.

We started planning for the wedding. Made reservations for the venue, vendors, hotel reservations for guests, etc. WORSE, the groom's not-financially-well-off family made non-refundable reservations for their flight, hotel and rental car. I cringe to report that I'm the one that suggested the travel site that they used to do so, and I know for a fact they can't get out of that reservation nor can they afford to just "eat it."

Obviously we have to put in the K-1 app like NOW. He may or may not be able to come for a visit this summer (and obviously can't stay for a few months, without being perceived as a risk for not returning to Canada). And we're in NC, so I assume their application will have to go through the Texas service center. I've now read enough to figure out that that's bad.

My question is... how can we minimize the damage, if his K-1 hasn't been approved by December? Can we hold the wedding and just not file the paperwork, then they go to the magistrate here once the K-1 is approved and make it legal? I know (now!) that if they actually get legally married, the K-1 would be voided and we'd have to start over again, right?

I can't believe we've gotten ourselves into this mess!

[Pitaya 2,577]

~Moved from K1 Process to What Visa Do I Need Forum~

~Inquiry about family visas~

[NikLR 13,227]

Is he in the USA right now or no?

If not you can either try your hand at the K1 and hope for the best (but it's dangerous to have anything that looks like a wedding before being admitted on the K1.)

OR

They can continue with their wedding plans and file for the CR1 after marriage.

[Shekinah013 8]

Is he in the USA right now or no?

If not you can either try your hand at the K1 and hope for the best (but it's dangerous to have anything that looks like a wedding before being admitted on the K1.)

OR

They can continue with their wedding plans and file for the CR1 after marriage.

No, he's still in Canada. He hadn't firmed up travel plans yet for the visit this summer and wanted to work as long as he could to save up money for ring, etc.

Wedding date was supposed to be 12/27. I know there's no way to know if the K-1 would be approved by then. Just trying to find any option to salvage the wedding plans (even if we have to make it a "wedding" instead of a real one) and his poor family's non-refundable reservations to attend it IF the visa doesn't come through by then.

Honestly a CR1 doesn't make sense to me. (Which is why I didn't post this here originally-- posted in the K-1 area-- but post was moved to this area by a moderator.) Getting married this summer is not an option and wouldn't help resolve the issue anyway. So why would they wait until December, only to get married and immediately separated for potentially even longer for processing of a CR1? Doesn't make sense to me, especially since the K-1 might come through before the planned date in Dec.

Am I missing something?

[StephanieC 43]

The way the service centers are going right now it's probably a good chance it will be approved by December since her application will probably move straight to the California Service center.

[Shekinah013 8]

I hope you're right. Thank you for the positive thought!

[NikLR 13,227]

Why not? Because a CR1 is a better visa option and doesn't mean you HAVE to change your plans should something come up.

We purposely took that route, knowing we'd have to spend time apart, because of all the advantages a CR1 visa has over the K1. Faster to visa doesn't necessarily mean better.

If you start the paperwork there is a chance he could have the visa in time. Would he be interviewing in Montreal or Vancouver?

Sometimes K1 get through the petition fast, only to wait for 3-4 months for a date to open up to interview. It has happened.

[Shekinah013 8]

Why not? Because a CR1 is a better visa option and doesn't mean you HAVE to change your plans should something come up.

We purposely took that route, knowing we'd have to spend time apart, because of all the advantages a CR1 visa has over the K1. Faster to visa doesn't necessarily mean better.

If you start the paperwork there is a chance he could have the visa in time. Would he be interviewing in Montreal or Vancouver?

Sometimes K1 get through the petition fast, only to wait for 3-4 months for a date to open up to interview. It has happened.

Better in what way?

He'll be interviewing in Vancouver.

[NikLR 13,227]

You get a green card right away. You can work right away. You can travel right away. It's cheaper, travel expenses not included.

But the downside is the only place they interview is Montreal. So... maybe for you guys that $1070 is better spent on the AOS and him waiting the 90 days to work, than on travel.

[Shekinah013 8]

You get a green card right away. You can work right away. You can travel right away. It's cheaper, travel expenses not included.

But the downside is the only place they interview is Montreal. So... maybe for you guys that $1070 is better spent on the AOS and him waiting the 90 days to work, than on travel.

Brutal honesty here: our future son-in-law is currently a fast food worker, and my daughter is still in college. In other words we're going to be supporting them anyway. He's not going to miss out on that much of a salary by not working until everything comes through, nor is he going to be traveling. (She can't afford to take the time off from school, and we do have our limits of what we're willing to help with!)

So I think the $1070 is, for them and us, much better spent on the AOS and waiting the 90 days to work.

[NikLR 13,227]

Yep figured you'd say that.

Hopefully it goes through in time.

[Shekinah013 8]

I do appreciate your input! Thank you!

[NickD 203]

Can't help but comment on this, my son's girl's dad, told her, you get married, you pay for your own college, her uncle also helping her, told her the same thing. So it was either this or waiting another two years, they elected to stick it out for these two years. Made them very responsible and self-sustaining.

And they did stick it out for those two years. Also get along very fine with my in-laws, we did help them with a down payment for a new home, but they paid that back. And gave us some very wonderful grandkids.

[cocolucho 35]

New member, very chagrined to have only found out important info and this site after making some baaaad decisions. My daughter (US citizen; college student) and her Canadian boyfriend (fast food worker w/o college degree) are engaged to be engaged. He has visited several times, most recently from Nov-Jan. He had been planning a trip to visit next month and was going to stay the summer. They surprised us by saying that they want to go ahead and get married at the end of her fall semester (so December), and we all thought he could just stay while applying for the proper paperwork. I know NOW that that's wrong and was very naive! But it wouldn't have been as big a deal as the problem that we've created for ourselves because we didn't know better.

We started planning for the wedding. Made reservations for the venue, vendors, hotel reservations for guests, etc. WORSE, the groom's not-financially-well-off family made non-refundable reservations for their flight, hotel and rental car. I cringe to report that I'm the one that suggested the travel site that they used to do so, and I know for a fact they can't get out of that reservation nor can they afford to just "eat it."

Obviously we have to put in the K-1 app like NOW. He may or may not be able to come for a visit this summer (and obviously can't stay for a few months, without being perceived as a risk for not returning to Canada). And we're in NC, so I assume their application will have to go through the Texas service center. I've now read enough to figure out that that's bad.

My question is... how can we minimize the damage, if his K-1 hasn't been approved by December? Can we hold the wedding and just not file the paperwork, then they go to the magistrate here once the K-1 is approved and make it legal? I know (now!) that if they actually get legally married, the K-1 would be voided and we'd have to start over again, right?

I can't believe we've gotten ourselves into this mess!

If I was in your daughter's shoes after knowing that my future inlaws can not cancel their plans and you already made concrete plans for the wedding and things can not be refunded, I would NOT file the I-129F fiance petition, I would wait to be married in December and FILE the I-130 spouse petition because from now until the day of the wedding is only 8 months away and it is not enough time to get it done.

Since the petition will go to the Texas Service Center (TSC), the chances of getting approved at USCIS, then transferred to NVC, and then routed to the US embassy in Canada and get the visa approved in less than 8 months is being too optimistic. It may be too late if he doesn't get his visa by then, and if they get married she will have to file a new petition anyway and spend more money on fees again.

Another thing you may have not considered is any unforeseen delays like getting a Request for further Evidence (RFE) from USCIS if something is missing in the petition and that will delay the case even further and in most cases at least a month or two.

If money was not of an issue, I will say go ahead file the I-129f in hopes of getting it by December and worse case scenario refile again with the I-130 after marriage, but it seems that is not the case.

Even if they get married in December you know he can still visit his wife until his case is approved and gets a visa. He can travel back and forth to visit your daughter or her visiting him, but that is also costly as it is not as simple as crossing the border since your daughter lives in NC, unless she goes and visits him for longer periods in Canada since the wait can be roughly a year after the petition is file.

By the way, it would be a BAD IDEA if you hold the wedding as in many places in the world and in the US a ceremony (religious or not) can be seen as a wedding regardless if the paper work is file or not. Don't do that, it can get worse and they can get in more trouble they don't need.

I really wish you good luck and hope you can find a solution :-)

Edited April 8, 2015 by cocolucho

[Katie and Kevin 0]

Hi, the above answer is a good idea - maybe go the spouse route.

That being said if you get everything right it might come through in time - I just got here from the UK.... My K-1 took 6 months. Filed start of July - approved December - that's with all the holidays in between!

Good Luck!