Met a woman, but 90 days isn't enough

[OcculusFive 2]

OK,

I met a wonderful woman while I was in Bogota, Colombia last week. I am going back to Bogota in a month to spend 2 weeks with her.

There are two major problems we have at the moment: 1) I speak very little Spanish and she speaks even less English. We use Google Translate and it has been mostly fine. We communicate many times a day, even now that I'm back in the U.S. and 2) she doesn't have a tourist visa and makes only ~$300/month. She does have a teenage son, but he is on the other side of Colombia and she hasn't seen him in months and doesn't believe she will be able to see him for a long time more, anyway.

I rent a room in NYC with two awesome roommates and I really don't want to give it up just yet, but then I hear that K-1 visas take forever and a day to process (12+ months) and I am NOT about to go even 2 or 3 months without being with her. I run my own online web business, and so I am trying to figure out if relocating to Bogota is something I could do relatively soon... But it would be incredibly nice if she could come to NYC under, say, a F-1 student visa and go take language courses at a local institute in Manhattan. We've also discussed living in different countries neither of us need visas to get into for 2-3 months at a time until all this can get squared away.

I would really like your advice. Should I spend thousands on an attorney? How hard is it for me to get a long-term visa in Bogota?

Edited April 1, 2015 by OcculusFive

[mallafri76 1,012]

You met a woman in Bogata last week and is already considering engagement and K-1 visa?!?!?! That is gonna be a big red flag for US immigrations, not to mention the language barrier you two have. Your best bet is definitely to spend some more time together and the F-1 sounds like a good plan. That way, you can get to know each other better and she can learn English. Both of which will help you with a potential future immigration process.

[UK_Fan 192]

If she makes $300 a month, there is very little to none chance that she can get that visa. There needs to be proof of money in the bank for that.

[OcculusFive 2]

I can easily pay for the tuition, I was just wondering what the chances of denial for F-1 or B-1 tourist were. Ideally we could live 6 months in America and 6 months in Bogota, or maybe 3 months in The Bahamas and 3 months in Bogota. I mean, I can work anywhere and am relatively well off (6 figure salary).

[aaron2020 11,651]

I can easily pay for the tuition, I was just wondering what the chances of denial for F-1 or B-1 tourist were. Ideally we could live 6 months in America and 6 months in Bogota, or maybe 3 months in The Bahamas and 3 months in Bogota. I mean, I can work anywhere and am relatively well off (6 figure salary).

Hi,

Chances for a visitor visa is nil. Poor and a USC boyfriend are not favorable factors.

Chances for a F-1 will be determined by her background, the school, source of findings, etc. No one can tell you her chances since no one know anything about those factors.

Since you got the money, go for it.

[Darnell 8,478]

Attorney fees? Please note this is a DIY site.

[Amhara 460]

Make sure you research the student visa requirements well. Make sure you aren't looking at her applying for a community college that would probably require a good TOFEL or other English language test that she is not able to pass. Then that college tuition may be higher for international students, which may also require money for room and board. For example, if me and my fiance went that route, my community college would have required me to have an average balance of $18,000 for the past three months.

But you may want to look into it further. I just looked at that as an option, but didn't dig too deep.

Also, I would really suggest being able to communicate more than just through Google Translate. It's really difficult to establish a relationship with a language barrier. Even harder if there is an age difference between you too. However, if you were taking language classes or using language software, this may be a mitigating factor if you can prove your Spanish is improving - I think...

[Boiler 45,557]

The K1 90 days is for those ready to marry which you are obviously not.

[Marco&Bettina 502]

The K1 90 days is for those ready to marry which you are obviously not.

By the time it got approved (if approved), they should know whether they wanna marry or not. Then the 90 days is just fine.

[AverysMom 76]

90 days has nothing to do with anything right now, you are nowhere near that stage. That's after she is already in the states after the 8 to 12 month process of going the K-1 route.

In terms of the K-1, at this time, I would say you don't have enough evidence to prove a bonafide relationship...

[UK_Fan 192]

By the time it got approved (if approved), they should know whether they wanna marry or not. Then the 90 days is just fine.

I thought K-1 was "come and let's get married visa", not a "come and let's see if we wanna get married..."

[yuna628 9,677]

Advice can be given, but it may not be the thing you want to read. I say this in all kindness, as I know it can be hard to leave behind the person you have feelings for.

You have just met this person, and both of you have a communication barrier. That barrier is something you're currently managing to work around, however for both your sakes, and because any officer reviewing your case would be skeptical, it may be a good idea for the two of you to start understanding each others language beyond a translator. Time is what you need, and my suggestion to you would be to visit her as much as you're able, work on the language barrier, and get to know one another much better than you do now. You like her. You want to help her. That's commendable. Unfortunately the options available to you aren't as many as you might hope for. I don't see a visiting visa happening. A K1 would be a very big stretch, especially since you met her last week. Not only through an officer's perspective, but for your own successful relationship. A relationship takes time to build, and you need to build on having evidence of actually having one. Many of us here have known our s/o's for a year or two or even years. Please understand that when you apply for a K-1, each party must sign a written statement attesting to the fact they desire to marry this person. For me, a K-1 is not a get to know one another better visa, or a way to visit, or even an I miss you visa, it's a serious commitment toward marriage. Some of us are waiting with desperation to be with our s/o's that we can fulfill that commitment.

In short I'd say you need to dial it back a bit and go slow. The USCIS doesn't have emotional feelings of attachment or belief in love at first sight. They don't care about our perspectives or feelings. They want proof. Right now, you haven't got it. If you're serious about the girl, develop an actual relationship first, and then prove it to them.

[aaron2020 11,651]

I thought K-1 was "come and let's get married visa", not a "come and let's see if we wanna get married..."

It's both. No one is obligated to get marry on a K-1. A person can come on a K-1, not get marry, and go home.

[Pennycat 880]

If you have the type of job that you can do from anywhere and can afford to keep up with your rent in NYC for several months, the idea of you going to Bogota or to a third country that you both are able to stay in for a while is your best bet. The K-1 visa is not really intended for a "trial run" before getting married (despite what some TV shows try to present), it really is intended to give foreign nationals a legal way to enter the country with the intention of marrying here and setting up residence here. That's why the window is so short.

I really, deeply empathize with your desire to her to "check out" live in the US before progressing with your relationship and possible marriage (already thinking this after a week? I get it, but be careful!) but unfortunately, the choice to immigrate to the US is a choice that many, many, many people are forced to make without seeing the place first. Harsh but true. She has almost no chance of getting a tourist visa (but it only costs $160 to try and who knows? the existence of a minor child could be enough proof of close ties....but it is highly doubtful). Almost any school will require the test to prove that she can speak and is literate in English, and require proof that she's got cash support for her tuition, room and board.

It is probably best at this point in your relationship to focus on getting to know one another better and this is really only going to be accomplished if you move there temporarily or if you visit frequently. Personally, if I had a mobile job and the funds to pay for my unused share of my apartment, I'd have been in Costa Rica 6 months ago. If you go to Colombia, you'll probably be permitted in for 90 days, and that is extendable in-country. I would *not* mess with overstaying whatever they give you. You'll be risking a world of hurt that way. In terms of getting her to visit the US? You can always try for that B-2 visa later on but don't count on it. Some folks are willing to take the risk of moving into the unknown, others aren't. You don't know what she's willing to do until you know her better, and what she's willing to do may change as your relationship develops.

Some reading:

http://2backpackers.com/12116/south-america/colombia-travel-visa-rules-how-to-spend-more-time-in-colombia

[CowBoE 429]

What heats up fast often cools fast.

Give it some time to cook first.

Also, her son thing...don't take it lightly...

I've seen in play out this way at the beginning of the relationship,

but once she is in US and expect likelihood of either her or her son

eventually wanting to live in US.

May not be a bad thing for you...but it's something to keep in mind.

If you are flexible to live and work in other countries,

perhaps the best option is to go live in Colombia and give

each other a chance to really learn about each other.