Some quickies . . .

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Quickie #1

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie.

"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went fishing.

Quickie #2

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the

house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,

pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"

The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"

"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the h e l l out."

Quickie #3

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the

other is a husband.

Quickie #4

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must

tell you all something. We have a case of gonorr hea in the convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."

Quickie #5

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly,

her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!

You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!

We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?

They're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER

listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you

CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you

always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you?&n bsp; You think

I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.”

[SoL. 0]

Haha I liked the first one!!

[Nessa 23]

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the

other is a husband.

:lol:

[Jamaica to CT 0]

too funny

[KarenCee 3]

LOL I loved these!!! Especially the first one.