Spreading Gossip and Rumors About Other People

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Gossip and Rumors: Why Do People Do it?

Let’s say you’ve just heard a REALLY juicy rumor about someone you know. It may not be true, but it’s too good to keep to yourself. Your first instinct is to hop online and IM it to all your friends.

We’ve all had that kind of urge. But why? Here are some possible reasons:

To feel superior

When people are feeling bad about themselves, they sometimes think they’ll feel better if there were someone worse off than they are. It’s like, it’s okay being near the bottom, as long as they’re not actually on the bottom. The easiest way for them to make sure someone else is on the bottom is to make up a rumor that puts him or her there.

To feel like part of the group

If everybody else is gossiping or spreading rumors, you might feel you have to do the same thing in order to fit in. When you’re “in on the secret,” you’re in the group. Unfortunately, the person who the gossip or rumor is about is usually left out of the group for the same reason that you’re let into it.

For attention

When you know a secret that nobody knows, or are the first person in your group to hear a rumor, it can make you the center of attention. A rumor or piece of gossip is sometimes like money; telling it to people is like buying their attention, if only for a few minutes. You might even save up a really scandalous rumor, waiting for the right moment to blab so you get the maximum amount of attention

for it.

For control or power

Certain people always want to be in control and at the top of the ladder. You probably know at least one person who needs to be the leader, say what goes, and make all the decisions. When people are at the top of the popularity scale, or are determined to climb higher, one way they do this is by reducing the “status” of another person. Spreading rumors and gossip is one of the main ways people reduce another person’s status, especially among girls. It’s like one caveman beating up another caveman for control of the tribe…only it’s done with cruel whispers and petty remarks instead of fists.

Out of jealousy or a need for revenge

If you’re jealous of someone’s looks, popularity, or money, you might gossip about that person in order to hurt him or her. If you feel that someone’s done something bad to you, or deserves to be hurt, making up a rumor might satisfy your sense of justice.

Out of boredom

Did you know that in many studies, this was the #1 reason why young people say they spread rumors? Sometimes, a period where everyone is happy and getting along just seems kind of…dull. Spreading juicy dish might shake things up a bit, or get two people to start a fight, and that would make life a little more exciting. All those tabloid newspapers and TV shows full of celebrity gossip are pure proof that rumors are a popular form of entertainment.

We asked IML’ers why they think people spread rumors, and here’s what some of you said:

“I think people spread rumors and gossip to hurt that person’s feelings because they're insecure, like bullies.”

”I bet people start rumors to hurt people or because they think the truth is too boring.”

“There are so many reasons! They may misunderstand a situation, want revenge, or just want to be a part of school life.”

“I think that people spread rumors and gossip because they are either bored, mad at that person, trying to stir up some activity, or to get attention.”

Source

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I answered the poll with respect to spreading office rumors. For example, premature promotion news or why someone was fired or any updates "from the inside" on contract negotiations...

[Alex+R 0]

That's bizarre. I usually discuss rumors with others to see if anyone can confirm or deny them, if we're only talking about personal rumors. When I heard my friend Scott was about to be a father and he was completely unreachable in Bulgaria, I turned to my other friends to see what they'd heard. Is that bad?

eta: I also will discuss a rumor if it would be awkward or uncomfortable to ask the person it concerns. i.e. I will want to confirm Susie is breaking up with Jack before I invite Susie and Jack together to something, etc.

Edited February 10, 2007 by Alex+R

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

That's bizarre. I usually discuss rumors with others to see if anyone can confirm or deny them, if we're only talking about personal rumors. When I heard my friend Scott was about to be a father and he was completely unreachable in Bulgaria, I turned to my other friends to see what they'd heard. Is that bad?

eta: I also will discuss a rumor if it would be awkward or uncomfortable to ask the person it concerns. i.e. I will want to confirm Susie is breaking up with Jack before I invite Susie and Jack together to something, etc.

Horrible. Green Eyed Girl will direct you to the appropriate penance chamber.

But seriously, just like you pointed out, everyone spreads rumors. I suspect GEG is more interested in 'malicious' rumors (like, "did you hear Scott has AIDS?"). Those are different and not everyone engages in those.

Edited February 10, 2007 by Gupt

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Yea, I mean gossip and rumors that are destructive. It's great that you try to verify them, Alex!

Edited February 10, 2007 by Green-eyed girl

[Welshcookie 17]

No I am a superior human being....

It is very hard not to be drawn into rumour mongering....I simply never repeat anything that that starts with "Don't tell anyone but" or "between you and me".....and then if anyone different tells me the same story I have a great shocked face...

I love to hear a piece of juicy gossip but I don't repeat it cos as I work with a large group of females I know it doesn't need my help anyway.....hahaha

[Marilyn. 340]

I had a roommate once who was horrible at keeping secrets...

One day she came to me and said something like this, "I have to tell you something that I am not supposed to tell anyone, so you have to promise not to tell anyone."

she then told me that one of our friends was pregnant... of course I didn't tell anyone until this friend told us that she was....

[Alex+R 0]

I had a roommate once who was horrible at keeping secrets...

One day she came to me and said something like this, "I have to tell you something that I am not supposed to tell anyone, so you have to promise not to tell anyone."

she then told me that one of our friends was pregnant... of course I didn't tell anyone until this friend told us that she was....

I have a friend like that!

Those people are kind of useful though. I wanted people to know that I was getting married but I didn't want to go through the trouble of telling everyone. So I just told my friend that I was getting married and within a month practically all our mutual friends were calling me or emailing me about it, hehehe.

[SoL. 0]

Oh I have done that too, when I need to spread some news quickly, I know the right person that will put it on the run so fast that I don't even have to bother!

Yeah it does sounds great for my wedding news, thanks for the tip!

[babybunny 2]

I dont spread rumers. but I sure as hell love to hear them.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

i can think of a few rumors i've heard on this board

[rebeccajo 14]

If something is a rumor or just gossip, it's really of little interest to me unless it personally involves my family or myself. For instance - hey there's a rumor going around that your entire department is about to let go. Or - there's a rumor going around that so-and-so saw your kid behind the school with the local pusher.

As regards most gossip, I've been known to ask more than one person 'why do you care about that? What's it got to do with you?'.

I think most gossip is just ignorant and a tool of the bored. They really need to get a life.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I'm with you, rebeccajo. It's never interested me, and if I can find out if it's true or not, I will. I posted the article because it seems that those motivations for malicious gossip ring true. All of it amounts to silly and childish.

[Nessa 23]

I believe most people that spread gossips and rumors they do it not only for attention but for acception. They think if they tell you something they are not supposed to tell anyone, that will make you tell them something you're not supposed to tell anyone. Well, in my case makes me not trust this person to tell anything, if they're betraying someone's trust, who said they won't betray mine?

So like babybunny I like to hear them, I verify them, but I don't spread them. And when I talk to someone and I say between you and me, it's because I trust this person and I am talking about myself, something about me, not other people.

There's no such thing as ''don't tell anyone'' or between you and me'' when you're talking about someone elses life, spreading rumors or gossips (which are even worse, cuz usually they're very personal and they turn out to be true, au contraire of rumors), because if you trust one person, this one person will trust another person, that will trust another person, and soon enough everybody will be talking about it.

[Mags 112]

If I hear a bit of information about someone I dislike I'll admit, I enjoy a good gossip. I don't actively seek out bitchy gossip or rumours though. It is often someone who will come to me.

Edited February 11, 2007 by mags