Adjusting to life in the states.

[lost_at_sea 995]

Since we're starting to talk a little more deeply... I know some people who went through the journey around the same time as me are still finding it hard to adjust. You might not ever fully, I guess, but I doubt everyone adjusts at the same rate and it might just take more time for some.

Just to say, it wasn't all sunshine and roses for me - I ended up seeing a therapist for about 8 or 9 months last year because the move on top of everything else ended up getting a bit too much for me. Did the world of good, though!

After nearly 2 years, I'm finally starting to feel like I'm at home in my apartment/in my job, and not just on some temporary leave from London. It took a while to get there.

Edited March 24, 2015 by lost_at_sea

[Nat & Mark 4]

If its any help to anybody try this place I've now used then 3 or 4 times and it helps me, just knowing I can get the things I miss so much

http://www.britishfooddepot.com/

[Nat & Mark 4]

Where is everybody from in the UK and where are you now in the USA ?? I#m from Birmingham UK and now in Birmingham AL

[CoTL 2]

Where is everybody from in the UK and where are you now in the USA ?? I#m from Birmingham UK and now in Birmingham AL

From Manchester UK, now living near Lafayette Louisiana.

[CheekyMonkeys154 27]

My fiance is from Manchester UK and he'll be leaving near Chattanooga, TN.

[wbeem 568]

Thank you! Now if I don't go bonkers. haha Trying to refinance my house, plan a wedding, and do this all at the same time. You may find me in the loony bin!

Nah, the Loony Bin is TSC. Once your petition leaves there, you're safe from threats of pending insanity

[e&z 7]

This thread really made me smile. ETA: woahh this ended up being a long post but it's soo nice to get it all off my chest and share with people in the same boat!

I have been in Louisville KY for almost exactly 3 months now and, so far, it's been much easier than I anticipated. It really, really helps that everyone here loves 'the British', I still get comments on my accent and lots of questions and everyone is SO genuinely friendly and willing to help.

Maybe it's because i'm from the South of England so I have a 'stereotypical' English accent but I generally don't have an issue with people understanding me APART from sometimes ordering in a restaurant- usually as people have mentioned earlier when ordering water!- I think this may be because taking a drink order is the first time a waiter/ess with interacts with you, so your accent surprises them and catches them off guard.

I try to use some Americanisms just to make life easier but am stubbornly holding on to other British phrases- the loo, boot (not trunk) etc. When sending official correspondence I make sure to double check all spellings but I use an American laptop so that helps. Its not so much the language that I find challenging but, and this may sound strange, branding? I used to find it slightly overwhelming going into Target or Kroger and standing in the cleaning aisle attempting to choose products with NO clue as to what were the 'good' brands; in the UK I had my go to products that I could trust. Here I have to start all over again (My husband is 23 and a recent college graduate so asking him for advice on dishwasher tablets isn't going to be much help!). I'm getting there and our grocery shops are much quicker now!

I'm only 22 and graduated right in the middle of the whole visa process but I studied UK law, which is pretty much useless over here so I think it may prove challenging and potentially frustrating when my EAD comes through. I am so excited to actually start working though, getting out of the house, meeting people and contributing financially will really help this feel a bit more real I think.

Overall we are probably still in our 'honeymoon' phase where it all feels like an extended holiday. I am so incredibly lucky to have such a supportive husband, prior to me moving here he relocated to an area which is a 2min walk from bars/shops/restaurants and best of all a 5 min walk from a HUGE park so I can still go on my daily walks and that has honestly helped me no end- when he's working I can get out of the house without needing a car. It has been difficult relying on him for everything, he comes home tired after work and I am bored/up for getting out and doing things. It will make a huge difference when I sit my test and we buy a car- need to start practicing those parallel parks!

I do miss England, I miss the aesthetic prettiness of it all (which I didnt even think about until I left), I lived in a beautiful quaint village and here everything is BIG and functional, not necessarily attractive. I have recently started watching a few British tv shows on youtube and I laughed in a way I haven't laughed for ages- I get that humour and I get those references. I obviously miss the food, but thats no so bad as i'm the cook in this house so can sneak Shepherds pie and the odd Roast onto the menu occasionally. The hardest part for me is the distance from family & friends, I just wish I could pop home for a weekend. I always knew that would be the hardest part though and facetime, Skype, iMessage etc all make it soo much easier.

I do think that this initial period of being 'trapped' at home, unable to work, is difficult but its almost over (hopefully) for us. I would also imagine that if we decide to have children then that would be very difficult. Raising them away from my family and in a different culture will be hard for sure.

Edited March 26, 2015 by e&z

[wbeem 568]

E&Z, what are you going to do about your qualifications and career? I'm in Scottish Law and will probably take this opportunity for a career change, which is more exciting than scary for me as I've been considering a change for a while. I'm curious as to whether you have explored your options to convert or update your qualifications.

I'm not worried about being bored at home. I always find something to do. My concern is more about how I will adapt to not earning myself, after over 20 years of full time working.

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

e&z-- How nice that you are finding ways to transition with such an upbeat spirit. Most find that period where a K1 is a big nothing with no privileges to be overwhelming.

I have become rather amused at my husband who has gone to England for a fortnight. He used to wish for things like the Sainsbury's ready meals he liked. He went to Sainsbury's and asked if they did pot pies like he eats in America. What? He used to say American TV was terrible. This week he keeps on about how pitiful he is finding British TV.

Today he said he is stuck without a car. I reminded him the bus comes through the village every half hour and even I figured out how to go everywhere around Oxford by myself when I was there visiting and I had never used public transportation before. He can't because it's raining. What has happened to his Britishness? Makes me laugh.

My favorite was when he told me about going to the Isle of Man Tuesday. The girl in the Liverpool airport shop asked if he wanted a "moofin" with his tea. He asked her to say that exactly the same because he wanted to hear it again. He's British and fawning over a British accent. Crazy!

[e&z 7]

Wbeem- Oh wow- I haven't heard of anyone in the same situation!

Probably not pursue a legal career to be honest. I graduated this summer and rather than going on to do the LPC I just got a temporary job as a paralegal until my visa was approved, because I knew i'd be leaving. As I never practiced in the UK, I would not only have to take the Bar but also do the full four years at law school (at an astronomical cost), so I think i'll just find something else. Which is completely daunting- where do I even begin?! Im not too worried though, as you said it's exciting. I may be wrong but as you practiced, I am pretty sure you would only have to take the bar of your future state if you did decide to go down that route.

It's not so much boredom for me, as I said I go out on plenty of walks and have begun reading classic American literature- gone with the wind, to kill a mockingbird, grapes of wrath and a few non-fiction history books too. I find this really enjoyable as i've always loved reading and history but I also think it's nice to learn more about the US. I also have a gym membership and run 'errands'. It's the little 'human contact' that gets to me, when my husband arrives home that is often the first meaningful conversation i've had all day.

The financial aspect is by far the hardest, I went from student to earning a basic entry level salary for three months. What little savings I had soon disappeared on flights, medical exams etc. So I am now completely dependant on him for even basic things like make up remover or haircuts. It also makes making friends difficult, if I get invited for dinner or drinks I have to 'ask' for spending money- he is always happy to oblige and never bemoans this as he wants me to make friends but I do find it embarrassing. I'm sure as you have had a career for awhile you will be in a much better financial situation.

I am counting down the days until my EAD arrives, even if at first I take a part time job, having my own money and a purpose will make such a difference.

[e&z 7]

e&z-- How nice that you are finding ways to transition with such an upbeat spirit. Most find that period where a K1 is a big nothing with no privileges to be overwhelming.

I have become rather amused at my husband who has gone to England for a fortnight. He used to wish for things like the Sainsbury's ready meals he liked. He went to Sainsbury's and asked if they did pot pies like he eats in America. What? He used to say American TV was terrible. This week he keeps on about how pitiful he is finding British TV.

Today he said he is stuck without a car. I reminded him the bus comes through the village every half hour and even I figured out how to go everywhere around Oxford by myself when I was there visiting and I had never used public transportation before. He can't because it's raining. What has happened to his Britishness? Makes me laugh.

My favorite was when he told me about going to the Isle of Man Tuesday. The girl in the Liverpool airport shop asked if he wanted a "moofin" with his tea. He asked her to say that exactly the same because he wanted to hear it again. He's British and fawning over a British accent. Crazy!

Haha!! Thats so funny- I have to say the rain and unreliable public transport have been very easy to let go!

[xjoseyx 19]

Where is everybody from in the UK and where are you now in the USA ?? I#m from Birmingham UK and now in Birmingham AL

Im from Cardiff but moved to Chesterfield, NJ for 2.5 years, Im now in Cheyenne, Wyoming. Cowboy country!

[ChasUno 101]

I've yet to move to the USA permanently, though I have been visiting it yearly (apart from 2008) for the past 15 years. Some years I visited up to 3 times in one year, and I've also stayed from just over a week and a half right up to the 90 day maximum on a few occasions, all via the VWP.

As such I've had a head start in "adjusting to life in the States" as it's now virtually a home from home to me. It helps also that most of my trips centred on two areas in particular - south Florida and SoCal/ Arizona. I already know a lot of people in these areas and know my way round pretty well, plus I'm also quite familiar with the lifestyles and customs having spent so much time there. Ironically, my partner currently lives in Ohio though we spent most of our time together staying with friends in South Florida (which is the area we intend to move to once we get married).

In all my trips I don't think I've ever really felt homesick, other than maybe when I stayed for 90 days and missed some of my hobbies/ friends/ family back home. Most times I didn't want to come back home to the UK! However, once I move over permanently I will be able to start up my hobbies in the USA (and I plan on bringing over most of my musical equipment), plus I will have sold all my UK classic car projects and will intend to have a classic American car instead. That means about the only things left behind in the UK will be my friends and family, and though I will miss them it's a price worth paying to be with the love of my life.

I don't think I will have many problems adjusting at all once I move over permanently. About the only things I will really miss will be my family/ friends, some British foods (Cod and English Chips!) and the UK standard paid annual leave entitlement! There are some things I certainly won't miss, such as the weather (dull, dreary winters and unpredictable summers), English Football and the culture of binge drinkers. Of course, I will find out for sure how it really is once I get that one way ticket and know that 'this is it'. Time will tell.

[Kittentard 0]

Sometimes the need to communicate makes you switch when what you said didn't get the response you wanted. Here's a story on my husband.

We had met up with a VJ couple in Boston and went whale watching and then dinner. They had parked at a train station and commuted in. We had a car, so offered to take them to their car since it was in the town where our hotel was.

It was dark and we couldn't find the station and drove round and round for quite some time. It became comical really because three of us got the sillies as my husband, the driver, got tenser and tenser. Then he pulled into a Lowe's home improvement store because he couldn't wait another minute to use the restroom. We waited in the car. The American of the couple said, "I hope he doesn't go in and ask where the toilets are". Yep, he did, and was directed to the plumbing fixture aisle, completely on the opposite side of the store from the restrooms. We laughed so hard we were crying just imagining him using one of the displays in desperation.

I cant stop laughing, love it

[Pooky 3,786]

Where is everybody from in the UK and where are you now in the USA ?? I#m from Birmingham UK and now in Birmingham AL

I'm from Portsmouth and home is Maine, although I'm in Upstate New York right now.

Been here a little shy of 10 years now and the better half still wonders how I don't get homesick.