Husband hates texas

[janet&adonis 57]

Well we are about to test Miami POE again April 11th, but this time we will be going through it together with AP/EAD. It just sucks because this was his first time in america and he was treated like that. I just wish that when they say "welcome to america" they are really welcome. Maybe it would have been different if I was there.

The racism has settled down alot since I wrote this post. We are working through some issues. No plans for divorce. There are times we are so much in love we feel like no one is against us, and times I feel like we are not going to last. I guess that is marriage. It takes work.

He does still say in a few years he would like to live in a different state. I am still trying to watch the spanish I use around him. Its hard because ive spoken the street mexico spanish for 20 years. This is different from Dominican spanish.

[TBoneTX 45,273]

Good luck, sincerely.

Remember that if you ever want to close this thread, hit the Report button and so request. Most of us would probably appreciate hearing about the upcoming POE experience.

Edited March 18, 2015 by TBoneTX

[DarkKiss 45]

My husband is also Dominican and has adjustment issues here in Houston. Although it is not the racism thing for him, it's the fact that there are not many Dominicans living in the Houston Area.

If he needs a Dominican friend, I think both he and my husband should communicate and get to know each other. Private Message me and I will give you our information.

[rlogan 2,036]

There are times we are so much in love we feel like no one is against us, and times I feel like we are not going to last. I guess that is marriage.

Not really. A lot of us are just happy.

It would be common over the course of many years to have ups and downs, but to be on a roller-coaster from the beginning isn't a sign of a healthy relationship.

[Villanelle 4,122]

Bumping.

As it was their travel date..

Certainly dont expect them to post as they just arrived back. But I do hope they had a nice trip and POE experience.

(very lovely offer from Dark kiss btw. you guys live in such a beautiful area of the country, Im sure you can find something to do. I strong considered moving there for a while. looked at so many properties- but the Sun! oh my gosh the sun! -I just couldnt_)

[rlogan 2,036]

We have to bear in mind that when adjustment of status is imminent, even the dullest scammer knows to be on their best behavior.

[blest.but.strest 50]

Well we are about to test Miami POE again April 11th, but this time we will be going through it together with AP/EAD. It just sucks because this was his first time in america and he was treated like that. I just wish that when they say "welcome to america" they are really welcome. Maybe it would have been different if I was there.

The racism has settled down alot since I wrote this post. We are working through some issues. No plans for divorce. There are times we are so much in love we feel like no one is against us, and times I feel like we are not going to last. I guess that is marriage. It takes work.

He does still say in a few years he would like to live in a different state. I am still trying to watch the spanish I use around him. Its hard because ive spoken the street mexico spanish for 20 years. This is different from Dominican spanish.

Can you please update us on your entry back in the USA via POE Miami?

Also I think as your husband, he should respect the way you speak Spanish, he should be happy that you both can communicate and he should accept you the way you are. As a Spanish speaker myself, I personally think mexican Spanish sounds much better to the ear than the Ebonics Spanish that many speak in Dominican Republic. If he can dislike your Spanish, you can dislike his English, and I don't think he would appreciate that.

[janet&adonis 57]

Yes we went through miami. It was a disaster according to him. At the airport in santiago, they asked for his resident card. We gave them the ap combo card and the man said he has never seen a card like that. I explained that it was sent by immigration and it was approved. He said "he will have to check with a supervisor". So he went and came back and we passed through. We got to miami and went through the visitors line. We were put in a holding room and waited about 45 minutes. Then a officer called his name and asked for his resident card. We gave them the ap card and he said the same thing. Wait here i will be back. Came back after 15 minutes and we passed through. We got our luggage and went to the immigration line for connecting flights. I went through the glass door and told the officer that my husband was behind me. He motioned for him to come through another line and the lady shut the door in his face. He got so mad that he punched his suitcase. He finally got to me and the officer told him to calm down that the lady shut the door by mistake.

He is aways complaining that he hates miami because of the way he is treated. He does not like the ap card because they treat him like its a false card or made up. I thought the process was smooth, but he dont like to wait. I had brought our marriage license, and noa 1s for aos but we did not need it

[blest.but.strest 50]

Yes we went through miami. It was a disaster according to him. At the airport in santiago, they asked for his resident card. We gave them the ap combo card and the man said he has never seen a card like that. I explained that it was sent by immigration and it was approved. He said ...

He is aways complaining that he hates miami because of the way he is treated. He does not like the ap card because they treat him like its a false card or made up. I thought the process was smooth, but he dont like to wait. I had brought our marriage license, and noa 1s for aos but we did not need it

That actually sounds very smooth, I have heard of some people getting held up for 2 hours + when using AP. By the way, you could have used the Resident and USC line with him. Did he connect with any Dominicans in Texas yet?

[janet&adonis 57]

That actually sounds very smooth, I have heard of some people getting held up for 2 hours + when using AP. By the way, you could have used the Resident and USC line with him. Did he connect with any Dominicans in Texas yet?

He does not have a resident card yet. He only has the ead/ap combo card. I asked him if he wants to find dominican communities and friends and he said no. He said if he had dominican friends they would only get him in trouble with parties, women, night clubs etc. then in the next instant he is talking about how he is lonely and has no friends.

[Jack2107 46]

Let me ask you this.........

Are YOU happy in your marriage? Is he the man that you want to spend the rest of your life with, day in and day out?

You seem like a wonderful woman and it only seems like he cares about himself and not his wife or your child.

Not to be disrespectful but he sounds like he's using you for a GC ?

[Jawaree 717]

Wow OP can you go thru with that tantrums lie this when

e is not made to feel happy & comfortable on a whim..I

think you should siggest (humbly) wen he is in a good

mood anger management....it cant be all about everyone

or everything but him...this cant be good for your child,

walking on egg-shells all the time need you to think things

out. As long as one travels in this day & age USC or foreigners

the possibilioty of been pulled for any reason is there.

Miami airport is no fun its been like that since the 70s and got

worst after certain CBP was put there HUB thru GA or Ft Lauderdale

[clairegie 265]

I feel bad because I feel as if you are walking on egg shells. Never mind his hate for Mexicans (which oddly is not focused on the illegal ones), but it seems that this guy is just spewing hate left and right and has no control over his rage. This sounds a lot like the type of marriage my parents had wherein my Mom tried very hard to keep adjusting just to make sure she doesn't make my father mad, to the point that she was just completely unhappy. Even if it was my Dad's fault, my mom was the one apologizing. She stayed in the marriage because she loved my father, but she was so miserable. When he cheated on her, he made her feel like it was her fault... I hope you don't head down this path too.

I feel like your husband will do that to you too (saying he was lonely & home was like a prison blah blah) Sure, I grew up with a complete family, but I hated it so much. I almost lost respect for my mother because she put up with my Dad's ####### and it ruined my childhood. PLEASE DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOUR FAMILY. Yeah, divorce is not an option for you... wait till it starts ruining your relationship with your kid then. You are setting an example that she will carry with her and her relationship to others. I was unable to recognize abuse even while I was going through it. I just thought allowing/accepting that kind of behavior was part of having an adult relationship. Then I met the right man, and realized nothing was normal about it at all.

I'm sorry if I hurt you with anything I said. I just want to make sure that no other woman (or person) goes through what my Mom did. It's a horrible life to live and your marriage to him isn't even that long yet.

Edited May 10, 2015 by iammrsregie

[jyaku 138]

He does not have a resident card yet. He only has the ead/ap combo card. I asked him if he wants to find dominican communities and friends and he said no. He said if he had dominican friends they would only get him in trouble with parties, women, night clubs etc. then in the next instant he is talking about how he is lonely and has no friends.

Sadly I know how he feels, because believe it or not.. it took me 11 years to get my green card from the date it was filed. I'm not kidding.. I know how frustrating it was because they lost my file and after they found a copy, then I had to go through a security check 4 times, just because I was a military age male. When I went overseas and came back they grilled me..

Hey,

What do you do for work?

Where do you live?

Why did you go abroad?

How long were you abroad?

Did you go to the middle east?

Do you have any friends in the middle east?

Why did you choose Dubai as a stop over? (It was an Emirates flight)

Where does your family live?

Even on my citizenship interview they grilled me like I was a terrorist but I had to be cool, calm, collected. Basically ll if they have even the slightest doubts, they can really try to piss you off and you have to suck it up because if you give USCIS a reason to deny your application, they will do just that.. Can't be impatient.

I got past it.. I've paid my dues. Would I do it again? Nope.. but now that I have US citizenship.. no problems at airports..

Good Afternoon Sir.

How long were you abroad for?

Which places did you visit?

Welcome home.

I wish I could say something positive to your husband but it is most likely going to get harder at interviews..

[subwayguy 100]

My husband has only been in the u.s. A year. He is dominican and racist against haitians. He hates mexicans too. He hates texas because he says its a poor state and is full of mexicans. When i met him i knew the mexican spanish. So now i know more dominican spanish, but everytime i misspeak a word and use the mexican word he gets angry. He said that haitians and mexicans are alike because they both try to cross illegally.

Sometimes he says he wants to live in ny, or nj where the dominicans are. I have a teen in school so i cant just pack up and move. I also own my house and have a really good job. Sometimes he says he wants a divorce because he feels like he is in a prison. And because i mess up and speak mexican spanish he calls me a mexican, or a mexican lover. Then the next day he tells me he loves me and that we will never be divorced because he promised God that it was forever...

He plans on visiting the DR soon, and says he is not coming back.

Im not sure what to do. Im sure he wont go to counseling. He says why tell your problems to someone else? They cant fix them, only you and your spouse can. I just wish he was less racist and less hateful.

You should really let me try to live in Nyc for a bit. Dominicans are definitely not viewd favourably up here. ( I am not advocating racism neither am I prejudice against others. I am just stating a fact ).