Husband hates texas

[David & Diana R 1,005]

He is only going back to visit. He has a roundtrip ticket, but he mentions he is just going to stay in the dr

With all due respect is he going back to visit his DR GF? I mean seriously. This guys will only get worse, I GUARANTEE it!

Don't get me wrong. I want you and your daughter to live happily ever after but I think this guy is not the one to help you with that.

I will pray for you...

Edited March 12, 2015 by David & Zoila

[Kiv 32]

If it matters, it seems the entire Central America really doesn't like Mexicans.

Then there are the people from the city who discriminate the ones from the country or the south from the north it goes on and on..

it matters only to the people who may want to validate their own disproval on another group.

If he dislikes so much Mexicans, why would he work in a Mexican restaurant?

That must be a torture for him, would it not it be better to work at McDonalds or find a Dominican restaurant?

and I agree with the other poster, How is his english?

[dmillien 2]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like something deeper is going on. Where ever he goes in America, he will find races around. What should be helping him cope with that is you. Him seeing you everyday should help him, but it's not. His mindset is off. For example, he works at a Mexican restaurant, a blessing because some can't find a job. He needs to appreciate what he got. Family, job, life in America, but instead his threatening divorce and moving away, I think he has a different motive. Please worry about your kids and your happiness.

[cho iketeru 2]

http://www.dominicanculturedfw.org/. I believe there is a branch in Houston as well.

I would suggest going to the website www.dr1.com. You can find forums there that talk about relationships with Dominican Men.

If you want to understand his racism towards Haitians just do a Google search on the history of the island. You can also find this information in DR1.

I believe he is just coming to terms with his unrealistic expectations of the USA and his families unrealistic expectations of him.

[blest.but.strest 50]

http://www.dominicanculturedfw.org/. I believe there is a branch in Houston as well.

I would suggest going to the website www.dr1.com. You can find forums there that talk about relationships with Dominican Men.

If you want to understand his racism towards Haitians just do a Google search on the history of the island. You can also find this information in DR1.

I believe he is just coming to terms with his unrealistic expectations of the USA and his families unrealistic expectations of him.

Googling the history of Hispanola won't justify the OP's husbands racism and won't help anyone understand racism. Racism is unacceptable in 2015.

[cho iketeru 2]

Googling the history of Hispanola won't justify the OP's husbands racism and won't help anyone understand racism. Racism is unacceptable in 2015.

I agree with you that racism is unacceptable but she is married to a Dominican as I am married to a Dominicana. Racism towards Haitians is just a fact of life in the Dominican Republic. Since she is married to a Dominican she needs to try to understand the culture of her husband. Educating yourself about a different point of view does not mean justification or acceptance.

[Boiler 45,760]

Aren't most Dominicans, Haitians and Mexicans the same race?

[mohdirfan08787 16]

He racist towards other races while he himself an immigrant? As far as i know Texas is the best state to live, work and grow your family. I assure you 100% after he get his green card he will leave. So please do not leave your job, sell your house and move your kids somewhere they will not have any more friends and new environment.

he don't like other races, it is his problem. NJ and New York kinda states areeven more diverse then texas. he gona hate that too.

Why dont he go back to his country where he dont have to worry about living with other races in peace??? Does he thinks he is better then others?

My husband has only been in the u.s. A year. He is dominican and racist against haitians. He hates mexicans too. He hates texas because he says its a poor state and is full of mexicans. When i met him i knew the mexican spanish. So now i know more dominican spanish, but everytime i misspeak a word and use the mexican word he gets angry. He said that haitians and mexicans are alike because they both try to cross illegally.

Sometimes he says he wants to live in ny, or nj where the dominicans are. I have a teen in school so i cant just pack up and move. I also own my house and have a really good job. Sometimes he says he wants a divorce because he feels like he is in a prison. And because i mess up and speak mexican spanish he calls me a mexican, or a mexican lover. Then the next day he tells me he loves me and that we will never be divorced because he promised God that it was forever...

He plans on visiting the DR soon, and says he is not coming back.

Im not sure what to do. Im sure he wont go to counseling. He says why tell your problems to someone else? They cant fix them, only you and your spouse can. I just wish he was less racist and less hateful.

[SBB 74]

Aren't most Dominicans, Haitians and Mexicans the same race?

Mexicans, Dominicans, and Haitians can be of any race, they can be black, white, native, even Asian. That having been said, Haiti is very demographically different from the DR. The DR is a former Spanish colony and is, according to Wikipedia, 73% mixed race, 16% white, and 11% black. Most Dominicans speak Spanish. Haiti is a former French colony that was the site of a major slave uprising. Haiti is 70-75% black and most Haitians speak Haitian creole or French. Haiti is also much poorer than the DR and thus many Haitians try to cross the border illegally to work in the, comparatively richer DR>

[JohnR! 5,495]

Aren't we all members of the same race, regardless of skin color or physical features?

#fplight

Aren't most Dominicans, Haitians and Mexicans the same race?

[Shanelle 21]

_{Im sorry to hear this, it must be extremely disheartening for you. Many here have given wise counsel, especially, "do not quit your job, sell your house or move"}

_{If he won't go for counselling, go for yourself, and, yes, finding a good church with others from the DR could be helpful.}

_{I wish you all the best.}

[jannapa 12]

I understand that VJ is not a psychological support site, and that people posting here seek mostly legal advise; but I can't help but ask: do you love him? does he love you? if you love him, how far are you ready to go to accommodate him? does he do anything to show his love to you?

I know it is just an impression, but all i can see is a guy pursuing permanent residence in us. And a girl who is getting to the point where her love is no longer enough to keep excusing him for being a simple a-hole.

Please correct me if I'm wrong.

[blest.but.strest 50]

I agree with you that racism is unacceptable but she is married to a Dominican as I am married to a Dominicana. Racism towards Haitians is just a fact of life in the Dominican Republic. Since she is married to a Dominican she needs to try to understand the culture of her husband. Educating yourself about a different point of view does not mean justification or acceptance.

Racism isn't a culture my friend, it is hatred. Education is key, perhaps her husband and many other Dominicans (and other nationalities) need some education and understand that there shouldn't be any profit, intellectual or monetary off of racism in 2015.

Aren't most Dominicans, Haitians and Mexicans the same race?

Most Dominicans and Haitians yes, they are all from African and European descent

[blest.but.strest 50]

Mexicans, Dominicans, and Haitians can be of any race, they can be black, white, native, even Asian. That having been said, Haiti is very demographically different from the DR. The DR is a former Spanish colony and is, according to Wikipedia, 73% mixed race, 16% white, and 11% black. Most Dominicans speak Spanish. Haiti is a former French colony that was the site of a major slave uprising. Haiti is 70-75% black and most Haitians speak Haitian creole or French. Haiti is also much poorer than the DR and thus many Haitians try to cross the border illegally to work in the, comparatively richer DR>

That 73% mixed race in DR, that you quoted from Wikipedia, are mostly mixed from black and white and would be considered just black in the USA or in Canada, where I am from. So it is really not very demographically different, people in DR are a little bit lighter skin than people in Haiti, but to us Americans and Canadians they are still all black folks. Spanish is a Latin language, French is also Latin language, Dominicans and Haitians are essentially the same people, descendant of slaves from Africa.

Yes I agree with you, Haiti is poorer than DR but DR is a poor country as well. Ignorance is the sole and only problem in this situation.

By the way don't quote anything from Wikipedia, it is just not accurate enough.

Edited March 13, 2015 by blest.but.strest

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

He sounds like an overgrown teenager not a grown man. It's all about him isn't it ?

He is a complainer that is never happy and I would offer him some cheese with that whine followed by a sock to stuff it.

There is no way I would let someone dictate to me what kind of

words I should use or not use when speaking a different language that I am accustomed to.....he gets mad if you use the "wrong words" ? Seriously ?!

I would not want his hatred and prejudice around my child, that would definitely not be a role model.

If he wants to leave I would have only a few parting words : Don't let the door hit you in the butt on your way out.

Yeah, money doesn't grow on trees in the USA like he thought and his family wants money.....I would say : deal with it, get over it and act like a

mature man whose focus is on your wife and child.

I have no time for racists and would certainly tell him so without cowering down or worrying about his little old self being 'mad'.