Think long and hard about everything you do

[ding 1]

Chin up Matt! Like my fiance says, "Don't think too mut!"

I figure I'll need to follow 2 rules with this process;

1) Don't sweat the small stuff

2) Everything is small stuff

I hope to see you here more, contributing as you do. As we all try to do.

[Icarus 0]

[David-Hien 11]

Come on people, we come to this forum just for talk to each other about our case, then we can have some experiences about what we will do.

Each case has their own strong points and their own status. I think that Matt only wants to help us to know more about the cases. His case is only one of the cases, so it cannot be the rule for all cases but at least we should know for our reference.

I want to thank you, Matt. Thank you for your experiences.

Hien

[dalegg 143]

Unfortunately, or fortunately- depending on how you look at it, people don't know what they're getting into before they do it, and by the time they know, it's too late.

I met my wife through the same website I was meeting US women and dating from (American Singles). I can honestly say that when I fell for her I had absolutely no idea what the process was going to be like- even after my first trip to see her. Heck- I was asking her if she'd like to come here to visit me because it made more sense to me. I had no idea that foreigners couldn't obtain travel visas to the U.S as easily as we can get Visas to other countries.

Once I spent the first week with her, I had already fell for her, and it wouldn't have mattered how hard the process was (obviously), but had I known what it would take to bring a foreign woman to the U.S, there is NO DOUBT that I would NOT have ever contacted her in the first place. They don't have a link to Visa Journey on the American Singles website!

[Kimi 0]

hello all

just put my 2 cents in:Only 1 trip to vietnam for 20 days, and we took a 3 day trip to BKK. dont know if that was a factor or not. But I work for a college and summers is my only vaction time. When i got back to my college, had a story of my trip published in the local college paper and then sent a copy to her, and the interviewer was very impressed with the newspaper item and read it all. The other item they were very impressed with is her educatin and current job position. Those 2 items they spent some extra time on. They still did not give me a go slip right away, they ask for more tax info about me, which i got to her in under 12 hrs. at which time they gave the go ahead. So there is many paths to success and many paths to failure. have faith in yourself, dont give up and dont get mad. It is my belief that they have a quota system to meet, so many pass, so many fail, so many need more work. they need numbers in all columns to prove they are doing there job.

just my 2 cents.

[Lurker 0]

hello all

just put my 2 cents in:Only 1 trip to vietnam for 20 days, and we took a 3 day trip to BKK. dont know if that was a factor or not. But I work for a college and summers is my only vaction time. When i got back to my college, had a story of my trip published in the local college paper and then sent a copy to her, and the interviewer was very impressed with the newspaper item and read it all. The other item they were very impressed with is her educatin and current job position. Those 2 items they spent some extra time on. They still did not give me a go slip right away, they ask for more tax info about me, which i got to her in under 12 hrs. at which time they gave the go ahead. So there is many paths to success and many paths to failure. have faith in yourself, dont give up and dont get mad. It is my belief that they have a quota system to meet, so many pass, so many fail, so many need more work. they need numbers in all columns to prove they are doing there job.

just my 2 cents.

This is a classic quote. This pretty much sums up the entire process in a nut shell. Good one.

[Idinh 0]

Seems to me that someone here is doing some "score-boarding" on others. There's no need to step on those already down.

Why not just be happy you got what you wanted and wish it for others?

Most of the time this place has been very helpful to me.

[andrew va thuy 0]

OK ! I have to speak up ! - While there have been some strong opinions voiced, I think it has really helped draw out some of the circumstances behind the pass & fail. ( thanks for sharing your own stories ) There are no guarantees and whoever noted that the officers may indeed be expected to NOT be too soft ( i.e. not give all pink ) is probably a valid - though never admitted attitude. And then you just dont know whose wife or husband got chewed out - and then that spills over on your fiances interview.

clearly the more trips, the longer the ordeal, the harder it will be for them to pick on you to see if you are squeaky clean.

As for me, I could only make one trip & circumstances were beyond my control to make a 2nd before the interview ( whenever that date is ) . So yes I feel the heat. It is a larger gamble. But there are other issues each of us chose when we move ahead & take a larger risk with proceeding with the application. What to one person may sound foolish may in fact be relatively reasonable.

[patricks 0]

Firstly, Hello from the Nam

I first arrived in VN in 1999 and it took me 9 months to meet a suitable partner (in-person) and then it took another 2 years for me to totally trust her, be accepted by her family and have confidence should would have the common sense to adapt to American culture, etc. Personally, I think meeting a VNs partner for a life-long commitment (in America) online is a very risky proposition because of the culture differences and potential communication gaps.

With that said, on my current visit to VN, The VNs have come a long way in their urban sophistication and their awareness of the outside world. This next generation of VNs is definitely better read about foreign influence than the previous.

Finally, In my opinion, the "Viet Kieu", overseas VNs who were maybe born, raised & live in America, they should have better luck with the native VNs women from their own upbringing in a VNs family in America.

end

I'm off to Phu Quoc tomorrow

[GREEN/TRAN 0]

Firstly, Hello from the Nam

I first arrived in VN in 1999 and it took me 9 months to meet a suitable partner (in-person) and then it took another 2 years for me to totally trust her, be accepted by her family and have confidence should would have the common sense to adapt to American culture, etc. Personally, I think meeting a VNs partner for a life-long commitment (in America) online is a very risky proposition because of the culture differences and potential communication gaps.

With that said, on my current visit to VN, The VNs have come a long way in their urban sophistication and their awareness of the outside world. This next generation of VNs is definitely better read about foreign influence than the previous.

Finally, In my opinion, the "Viet Kieu", overseas VNs who were maybe born, raised & live in America, they should have better luck with the native VNs women from their own upbringing in a VNs family in America.

end

I'm off to Phu Quoc tomorrow

have fun, but if you look for the jet ski rentals "they only for picture"

[Bruce and Han 0]

Hi everybody.

When Han and I went through out interview process we knew there were going to be challenges. I did go and visit her in VN twice and that was great for the interview, but we had no real Dam hoi, just a hand full of people there, we have 11 years age difference and I was previously married before. Well in the end at the interview everything worked out. Those of you on AR, just be patient as you have been and our prayers are with you. Those of you that are ready to interview, make sure all your ducks are in a row and tell your fiance to have complete confidence in what she says to the CO.

About some American cities being boring, We have you all beat. My wife and I have moved to the one place that global warming has had no affect on as of yet. That place being Fargo, North Dakota. The high temp today is 1° above zero. You ask, how does my wife from Vietnam handle this? She says, it's not were you live thats important, it's the love of each other and the bond that you have. We love it here, cozy up to the fireplace, while the snow quietly falls outside. Believe it or not, there is a VN resturant here in town. We are happy with our lives.

Bruce & Han

[ding 1]

Hi everybody.

When Han and I went through out interview process we knew there were going to be challenges. I did go and visit her in VN twice and that was great for the interview, but we had no real Dam hoi, just a hand full of people there, we have 11 years age difference and I was previously married before. Well in the end at the interview everything worked out. Those of you on AR, just be patient as you have been and our prayers are with you. Those of you that are ready to interview, make sure all your ducks are in a row and tell your fiance to have complete confidence in what she says to the CO.

About some American cities being boring, We have you all beat. My wife and I have moved to the one place that global warming has had no affect on as of yet. That place being Fargo, North Dakota. The high temp today is 1° above zero. You ask, how does my wife from Vietnam handle this? She says, it's not were you live thats important, it's the love of each other and the bond that you have. We love it here, cozy up to the fireplace, while the snow quietly falls outside. Believe it or not, there is a VN resturant here in town. We are happy with our lives.

Bruce & Han

That's what Lek says to me. She really doesn't care if we live in Thailand or the USA. If I could educate my son there we'd all love to live there. But the Thai government is making foreigners get out sooner and sooner all the time even IF we could afford International School.

So I'll make my child miss a little school sometimes and risk my job to visit her in the meantime. No ploblum!

[STL_HCMC 0]

Bruce,

Long time no talk. Glad to see things are well for you and Han.

Fargo, ND -- Wow!

STL_HCMC

Hi everybody.

When Han and I went through out interview process we knew there were going to be challenges. I did go and visit her in VN twice and that was great for the interview, but we had no real Dam hoi, just a hand full of people there, we have 11 years age difference and I was previously married before. Well in the end at the interview everything worked out. Those of you on AR, just be patient as you have been and our prayers are with you. Those of you that are ready to interview, make sure all your ducks are in a row and tell your fiance to have complete confidence in what she says to the CO.

About some American cities being boring, We have you all beat. My wife and I have moved to the one place that global warming has had no affect on as of yet. That place being Fargo, North Dakota. The high temp today is 1° above zero. You ask, how does my wife from Vietnam handle this? She says, it's not were you live thats important, it's the love of each other and the bond that you have. We love it here, cozy up to the fireplace, while the snow quietly falls outside. Believe it or not, there is a VN resturant here in town. We are happy with our lives.

Bruce & Han

[chuckandkim 0]

Read and think through everyone's stories and share experience, then develop your own strategy how to reduce and mitigate the risk of being denied by CO at the interview. There are things you have control over which you MUST by all mean taking control of it. For example: never met in person, get the plane; don't meet the poverty guideline, get a co-sponsor; don't write enough handwriten letters, start writing and mailing; don't talk enough on the phone, start calling; don't have enough photos for evidence of being together as a couple, start shooting 1G or 2G of digital photos and actually print them out; don't have the engagement ceremony, let's have one done; not sure what to put down on the application or fill out any form, let's ask Visajourney... etc. Why all the "let's do this and that", because these are the things you, the american petitioners have total control over getting it done or not, these are the things you can do in preparation of the interview.

Things you have no control: what the CO will think and form his/her opinion of your case, evidence, and ultimately decide to approve her Visa.

Said by many, most of us wish we know more of "do's and dont's" from the get go with this journey, but we didn't. Nevertheless, it didn't stop anyone from proceed to finish end. Matt's advice should be taken as "one of the many shared personal experience" and with "IN MY OPINION" caution. This applies for mine as well. So, in my opinion, in addition to Ding's wisdom, "think big picture"! Tell a good story of the greatest love of your life, by "love illustration" (pictures, video, love letters, postcard, gift receive, government require document etc.) where you two are the main characters. Painting a BIG LOVE picture with you two are the main objects, everything else just the "frame", the "lighting", the "room" where the big picture is hung. Again, your case is unique to MATT's, mine, or other's, which require (believe it or not) a certain amount of thinking and processing the provided information by the CO before he/she comes to the conclustion which may make or break your heart.

Andrew brought up another true fact: "There are no guarantees". Regardless of what anyone, including me, may tell you "do this and do that, you may pass/fail the interview". There are things you can and can't do to help to "IMPROVE" your case, but no guarantee! Why improve? Your case may be better off and look more favorable than mine if your fiance has been traveling out of Vietnam for business, school or touring. How can I improve my case, with my current availability and ability, let's book a trip to Singapore, Bangkok or Java for a long weekend while i'm visiting my fiance in VN, take her there, get a stamp in her passport! (like Matt suggested). But again, "there are no guarantees", just to help and improve your "love story", make it richer!

Bruce & Han: America is boring when you're alone and not with HAN America has nothing to offer Kim if I'm not here with her (said Kim). It is true for my case, where Kim was a japanese professor at the univeristy in Saigon, making over $2k/month, with flexible hours and highly respected in her academic environment. She left her family, career, everything to take me and move to America. And me is the only rational reason and make sense to her to live and stay in America, or wherever on this earth where we're both still breathing, including North Dakota I hope that is also the ONLY reason why your woman marries you and move to America. Once that is straighten, the rest is just nothing but routine and normal couples' daily struggles that happen to anyone in this society or back home in Vietnam.

If you make your wife feels "America is boring", let's say, you're not being a very good host, and most important, you are not working on the bigger issue here: being the man of the house, you lead your family and build the kind of family you want, how your wife and you should have the right attitude toward any given circumstances! In my experience, Kim and I were so busy with our life, building it bit by bit, everyday, every weekends for the past year and half. We didn't even have time to sit and see if where we live is "boring" or not, if moving here is the right decision or not. Too busy to enjoy our marriage, the good and the bad side effects of being married !

In conclusion, read and have a good filterlens when reading on public forums as VJ, as most people, I sometimes give bad advice and not being clear in my post, but with good intention to help for sure. I think we all try to be a better post and VJ member here. I learn from you guys so much, by reading and filtering what I need and don't need from the post. Let's get back to the topic and keep giving good solid fact proven advise to our brother and sister on VJ. Last words: think big picture!

love,

chuck and kim

[andrew va thuy 0]

Thanks for sharing such sound advice & detailing also a bit about your's wife's background. By focusing on the love story theme, the applicant can reduce suspicion that the motivation is 'for the green card'. Or as one person spitefully said " They all just want a meal ticket to the US ".

Some of us have particular circumstances that tend to draw suspicious attention from the consulate ( marginally incomes/education and or time from work of either or both applicant & sponsor ) The advice here in the forums have helped me. My 'vo' is concerned that she wont get a chance to explain much but will be just drilled with questions. I expect that the CO will handle our case very different than Chuck & Kims, but I have encouraged her to think & prepare along Chucks' suggestion JUST in case she's given respect.

Probably the hardest part is knowing that our situation was largely defined at the time of the I-129 submittion. After that its a tough case of catch up ( where I am ). Thanks again !