Petitioner refuses to support depended during AOS interview after filing I-485

[Boiler 45,584]

Battery and extreme cruelty, she mentioned fighting, assuming that involved physical contact it would be battery.

[Cathi 5,763]

Surprised nobody has mentioned VAWA.

[raven52 233]

Some of this is "foreign" to me, but I read and learn, and aaron2020, seems "spot on to me" would be such a better world, with out all these, disagreements, and divorces.,.,.,but this is the USA, and that is a way of life here!

[Sm1smom 253]

We cannot file for divorce for at least another 9 months, we just moved to NY and don;t meet residency requirements for divorce.

The AOS package includes both his and mine documents.

I don't know who interview for AOS looks like but I can imagine that a couple needs to go together and my husband as primary petitioner needs to say support my petition.

The DV AOS interview will require both of you to attend the interview together, most of the questions will be directed at him, they may ask you one or two questions in addition to verbally asking you about the Yes/No questions you've already answered on your I-485. The easiest and fastest way for you to get your GC is through your husband's DV selection, so my guess is it would be in your best interest to try and work things out with him for a while. If the IO gets any hint about you guys being in the process of filing for a divorce, I doubt your petition will be approved.

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

Battery and extreme cruelty, she mentioned fighting, assuming that involved physical contact it would be battery.

I assumed she just meant that they argued a lot. "Fighting" does not always have a physical connotation, and I kind of assumed if there had been she would have mentioned it.

[linijka 0]

I assumed she just meant that they argued a lot. "Fighting" does not always have a physical connotation, and I kind of assumed if there had been she would have mentioned it.

By fighting I meant arguing, there was no abuse. There are two side that cannot reach agreement, but one side (my husband) holds a legal power over my status in USA.

My daughter is a citizen, I hold H-4 visa until late 2016. If he gets GC and his status changes from H1-B to GC, can I still keep my H-4 visa, assuming we'll stay married for another year?

Also, if he agrees to support my GC, how long do we have to stay married? I heard that as dependent I have to be married to him for 4 years?

[Boiler 45,584]

No H1 equals no H4.

Never heard of 4 years, where did you get that from?

[linijka 0]

My husband friend got his GC and his wife, too - as dependent. he told this to my husband. I wasn't a part of this conversation but from what was referred to me my GC would be conditional and we would have to stayed married for 4 years.

[Boiler 45,584]

Perhaps you misunderstood?

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

By fighting I meant arguing, there was no abuse. There are two side that cannot reach agreement, but one side (my husband) holds a legal power over my status in USA.

My daughter is a citizen, I hold H-4 visa until late 2016. If he gets GC and his status changes from H1-B to GC, can I still keep my H-4 visa, assuming we'll stay married for another year?

Also, if he agrees to support my GC, how long do we have to stay married? I heard that as dependent I have to be married to him for 4 years?

No, this is a DIVERSITY VISA. as I explained before it is an UNCONDITIONAL green card...so as soon as you get your green card you can leave your husband the next day and you get to keep your green card. I think you're confusing it with some sort of relative green card, this is different.

[Sm1smom 253]

By fighting I meant arguing, there was no abuse. There are two side that cannot reach agreement, but one side (my husband) holds a legal power over my status in USA.

My daughter is a citizen, I hold H-4 visa until late 2016. If he gets GC and his status changes from H1-B to GC, can I still keep my H-4 visa, assuming we'll stay married for another year?

Also, if he agrees to support my GC, how long do we have to stay married? I heard that as dependent I have to be married to him for 4 years?

If you husband gets his GC, you will no longer be able to keep your H4 status since that is dependent on him being on H1B.

My husband friend got his GC and his wife, too - as dependent. he told this to my husband. I wasn't a part of this conversation but from what was referred to me my GC would be conditional and we would have to stayed married for 4 years.

If you get your GC with your husband, your DV based GC will be completely independent of your husband's, you do not have to stay married a minute longer after that if you do not wish to. It's different from the marriage based GC which your husband's friend talked about. That is a conditional GC requiring the couple to remain married for at least 2 years before the conditions can be lifted.

[Britsimon 18]

Hi,

my husband was selected in DV lottery. I just filed I-485 with all supporting documents. After few years of fights we decided we should get the divorce. He wants it ASAP. He's H1B visa, I'm on H4 visa. I was supporting his carrier for the past 5 years hoping that soon I can go back to work (I'm mechanical engineer).Now he says that he will not support my application and I can pack my bags and go back to my home country.

We have a daughter that's 5 and have been married for that long. I want to stay in US so she can have contact with her dad.

Is there anything that can be done except making amends with my husband?

That is a complete mess - it sounds like there is a lot of bitterness which is manifesting itself as control over your immigration status. To be honest - you both need to cut that ####### out right now - and I say both because these things take two. I'm not judging or inferring it is your fault, but I've been there - so I understand the dynamics. You are both going to realize in time that you are stuck with each other as a parenting team for the next 15/20 years at least. Eventually you WILL get to a respectful/calm place as co-parents. So, you can do that sooner or you can do that later - but sooner is much better for all concerned - especially the child.

So - how do you do that - get some counseling on how to handle the breakup of the relationship. Your priority should be the child. Period. You need to do what is best for the child including, if needed, swallowing some pride and anger. So - what will be best for the child will be for you both to live in the same country. In order to make that happen you probably both need your GC. In a divorce, the woman normally gets at least 50% custody, but your situation is complex as the child is a US citizen - so some counseling needs to take that into consideration. You both need to diffuse the situation and make a realistic plan of how you will co-parent the child. That will not go well if he wields his threat of your immigration status or your wield your threat of the obvious retaliation/outcome that he will not see his child. Let that go unspoken. You might want to agree some terms of a separation prior to an actual divorce

OK - as others have said, once you get the GC, you can divorce 5 minutes later.

You say he has filed the I485 - so I assume the case is already current - is that correct? Has he filed for you as well? As Mom says, his AoS process might not be approved without you along. He cannot revoke your H4 status, but an IO allowing him to adjust onto GC would put your status in limbo and frankly I would imagine a smart IO would simply tell him both adjust or none adjust.

So - you need some professional help. You have some immigration issues and family law issues. In your case a sensible cooperative attitude between you now will save a fortune in fees and end up with the best result. Start off with some counselling on how to break up the marriage without destroying 3 lives.

Good luck. I feel for you.

[Sebastian_1980 0]

Before you start judge her husband you should know whole picture.

We live together 10 years, married 5 years, daughter 5 years old. I was supporting our family since her J-1 ended in 2011.

We send paper together for the GC last month. Few days ago I found out that she is cheating on me. That she is in love with some guy she met at gym few months ego. After arguing I found out that she is with me only to obtain GC. She mention our daughter only once that she is taken her from me. Rest of the arguing was about how bad husband I am (was) and why should't I support her GC. Mostly why she has right to have it.

From my side it looks like anyway I will see my daughter 1-2 a year, no matter in US or origin country.

[SusieQQQ 11,586]

Before you start judge her husband you should know whole picture.

We live together 10 years, married 5 years, daughter 5 years old. I was supporting our family since her J-1 ended in 2011.

We send paper together for the GC last month. Few days ago I found out that she is cheating on me. That she is in love with some guy she met at gym few months ego. After arguing I found out that she is with me only to obtain GC. She mention our daughter only once that she is taken her from me. Rest of the arguing was about how bad husband I am (was) and why should't I support her GC. Mostly why she has right to have it.

From my side it looks like anyway I will see my daughter 1-2 a year, no matter in US or origin country.

There are always two sides to every story. It's not often we get to see both, so thank you, although I am sorry to hear the situation.

That said, I still think you should think about britsimon's post. Of course you are angry at her, but try put the child first? Why would you see your daughter so seldom if she lived in the US? You know what, I was a child of two parents who lived far apart and only saw my father in long vacations, and it was horrible. For the child's sake I would say - let her come to the interview and get the green card, you can leave her immediately after, for a DV green card you do not need to stay married to her, and get a decent custody lawyer so you have good access to your daughter. Good luck with however this turns out.