Need Help - Thai Wife w/ 2 yr green card, US born baby wants to return to Thailand for extended stay

[anson-noyna 0]

Hi,

My Thai wife has her 2 yr green card (about 10 months ago) and we also have a 17month old baby boy born in the US w/ US passport. Late we have not been getting along and she wants to return to Thailand. She's changed her reason to returniing many times (e;g. for 30 days, for 6 months, for one year, for longer, and many other reasons) and the main thing thing is that I don't want to keep her here if she is not happy. But now I'm supposed to know all the requirements for getting my son a Thai Passport/Birth Certif etc. for an extended stay in Thailand which i don't even know how long this is going to be for. I've tried calling the thai embassy/consulate here in the US but after leaving messages they did not return any of my calls or emails. I started to look at many websites and it seems the requirement for the baby are going to be extensive, just as much forms as the original K1 and time is already running out because I already booked a flight from SFO to BKK in about 3 weeks from now. Im supposed to fly with her and baby to to BKK then form BKK to SFO alone. Then go back when she is ready. So i bought a 6month round trip plane ticket which upsets her because she said she wants one way......not all of sudden the baby is going to be going to school there. I know right when we get off plane, immigration will ask lenght of stay. If we say 30 days, its a lie, if we say 6 months, we don't have the req'd doucments (I still dont understand how I can get baby a thai birth certificate when he was born in USA, but several websites state "no Thai birth certif = no Thai passport. Furthermore, I am supposed to accept whatever she says and agree to her terms going back (sending a certain amount of money before we go, monthly thereafter, paying for school, buying a car, supporting her family as well) Well I cannot handle all of this and do not know what to do. All we do if fight and i get blamed for everything.

If some has some input i'd appreciate it.

Thanks

[anson-noyna 0]

Forgot to mention.....she does not seem to be concerned at all when her 2 yr Green Card expires and that she needs to be here 90days before to apply for removal of conditions..........i told her shes going to be in a situation where she cannot come back and the baby can. That doesn't seem to bother her either.........she just wants to go and me have no contact unless I agree to all her terms (monstly financial)

Edited February 25, 2015 by anson-noyna

[StephanieC 43]

I'm not an expert by any means so take my comment with a grain of salt but it sounds like you need to get an attorney and file for divorce. Immigration aside, do you really want to be shut off from your child's life like that?

[asisflyer 47]

Op, a few ideas for you:

#1 - She might try to stay for over 6 months and you want to preserve the green card, So try to delay and file the I-131 for Re-Entry Permit and let it be delivered to her address in Thailand. You need to file it before she leaves. This will give you some safety to get to 1 year outside without repeating all the paperwork. It might also give you time to patch up your relationship. ((( although I-751 will still be an issue )))

#2 - Consulate site LAX, NY, DC have specific details on what you want to do . It is straight forward. Get the child the Thai passport to simplify the inbound.

#3 - Your wife can make this easier as most of the consulate forms for this are not in English.

The list include: her national ID card, house registration, and your passport biodata copy, marriage certificate, child birth certificate, etc. and they can process the citizenship and issue the passport as the consulate.

You may also want to process your Non-O marriage visa (which need a letter from her and similar documents) while at the consulate as it will simplify you entering with 1-way ticket and later extending to long stay and you may decide you want to be closer to your child. There are also Non-Immigrant O Type visa for support a Thai child after the citizenship Is processed.

#4 - You should acknowledge the risk that the child will be upcountry somewhere and that she may well disappear for a period of time with the child. Thailand will not separate the dual-national from a Thai parent over a US claim that she ran off with the child. I smell an emotional spinner coming.

THAT BEING SAID:

Right NOW in the UNITED STATES, you can PREVENT THAT US CITIZEN FROM LEAVING WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT !!! Once the child goes, your rights will be gone.

good luck

Edited February 25, 2015 by asisflyer

[Marco&Bettina 502]

OP, I'm sorry your marriage is on the rocks right now. I really hope you can patch things up or your life will not be fun. And unfortunately, the child will suffer the most.

[blest.but.strest 50]

Sorry to hear that you are in this situation. I would love to give you my input on your situation but I'm not to sure what your question is.

Concerning the Thai passport for your child:

The child's birth can be registered at the Thai Embassy and he can get a Thai passport within 30 days from the Thai Embassy directly, before even going to Thailand.

OR

The child's birth can be registered at the Thai Embassy, and you can later go to Thailand with his US passport and you can complete the application in Thailand to get a Thai passport.

Keep calling the Thai embassy

Royal Thai Embassy
Address: 1024 Wisconsin Ave.,N.W.,
Washington, D.C. 20007
Tel. +1 (202) 944-3600
Email: information@thaiembdc.org

also try all the consulates

Edited February 25, 2015 by blest.but.strest

[TBoneTX 45,663]

One post edited for reasons of taste and returned to thread below:

Divorce her here in the USA, once she gets to Thailand you probably will have a hard time ever finding her or your child again unless you pay her ransom demands.

Thread moved from K-1 Process forum to the Thailand regional subforum -- no K-1 issues are involved amidst several country-specific issues.

VJ Moderation

[Ning 619]

Hi,

My Thai wife has her 2 yr green card (about 10 months ago) and we also have a 17month old baby boy born in the US w/ US passport. Late we have not been getting along and she wants to return to Thailand. She's changed her reason to returniing many times (e;g. for 30 days, for 6 months, for one year, for longer, and many other reasons) and the main thing thing is that I don't want to keep her here if she is not happy. But now I'm supposed to know all the requirements for getting my son a Thai Passport/Birth Certif etc. for an extended stay in Thailand which i don't even know how long this is going to be for. I've tried calling the thai embassy/consulate here in the US but after leaving messages they did not return any of my calls or emails. I started to look at many websites and it seems the requirement for the baby are going to be extensive, just as much forms as the original K1 and time is already running out because I already booked a flight from SFO to BKK in about 3 weeks from now. Im supposed to fly with her and baby to to BKK then form BKK to SFO alone. Then go back when she is ready. So i bought a 6month round trip plane ticket which upsets her because she said she wants one way......not all of sudden the baby is going to be going to school there. I know right when we get off plane, immigration will ask lenght of stay. If we say 30 days, its a lie, if we say 6 months, we don't have the req'd doucments (I still dont understand how I can get baby a thai birth certificate when he was born in USA, but several websites state "no Thai birth certif = no Thai passport. Furthermore, I am supposed to accept whatever she says and agree to her terms going back (sending a certain amount of money before we go, monthly thereafter, paying for school, buying a car, supporting her family as well) Well I cannot handle all of this and do not know what to do. All we do if fight and i get blamed for everything.

If some has some input i'd appreciate it.

Thanks

There are a few members that may care to provide insight or advise in addition to what I have to say. This may seem harsh but Its also reality mixed with Thai thinking.

Beware.

She isn't coming back.

How can anyone tell you what to do about the boy? You cant be considering allowing him to leave and give up his U S citizenship? This is a very bad idea for so many reasons. You can plan on only seeing the boy in Thailand. In a short time the boy will communicate in Thai so by the time he could do so with you when you visit ; he will no longer understand English.

It wouldn't be a lie to say you intended to stay 30 days but you could ask for more. Its not that hard to extend a visa for a farang. She will quickly begin to make sure her Thai docs are current. She will learn how to have the child become a Thai citizen which can be done at the Ampur. She can get some birth docs too if she knows how.

Terms? She's a fool for doing what she is going to do. Selfish. Then she expects you to pay for it? This has on aspect that is very Thai. Extortion. Do not fall victim to this. Believe me the price will escalate and the size will grow.

Blamed? You are available and have the ability to provide maximum support in every way she requires. She sees you as a valet rather than a husband. The thinking from her side is very different than you may imagine or desire.

I am sorry for your problems. I am sorry for the child. The child's future must be paramount in the decisions made. My daughter & I become U S citizens and would never give it up.

[Boiler 45,775]

He would not be giving up US citizenship.

Probably not coming back either. Is that OK?

[AaronLV 12]

As others have said getting the Thai passport and Birth Cert at the Thai embassy is straight forward. Most likely won't take long to do either as long as you have the correct documents.

However, I would immediately hide the US passport and not give it to the Wife. Since the US does not have exit controls it is impossible to know if your wife will be asked if she has permission to take the child out of the country. The airlines might ask for such a letter to escape liability, but not always. Once the child is in Thailand, you will not be able to leave the country without the mothers consent, and THEY DO check for that letter at Thai immigration upon exit. I know several people that have been caught up in this (all worked out with a call to the mother), but they were also on speaking terms.

Once the child is in Thailand all bets are off, and you will have very few rights, even though the child is a US citizen, the embassy will do very little to help since the child is also a Thai national. Another person I know comes to Thailand to see his kids, and the mother won't let him see them until she gets XXXXXX baht when he arrives, two times he has been here and went home without seeing the kids because she decided she didn't want him to see the kids.

Ning is also correct about the English, they aren't taught, and they don't practice it, so it will only get tougher to communicate especially if the kid is not around english speakers daily. I have a 3 year old, and it can be tough to understand him as he is saying Thai words I don't know, and I see him every day. On the plus side my Thai vocabulary is building.

She might be suffering Postpartum Depression, and could be the cause of all the issues. Maybe have her see a therapist.

To reiterate, Don't leave the country with the child.

[anson-noyna 0]

Here'a an update, and everything is a mess right now, and I mean everything. We did end up gettig babys thai birth certif and thai passport. We left for TH in mid April, she used her green card to depart the US but had to show marriage certificate also because her Thai passport/id has her maiden name. I had a very bad feeling about this flight. She packed her bags weeks before we were supposed to go. I had no interest in going at all (fet like I was there just to carry bags and help with baby. THE WORST PART: FEELING SUSPICIOUS ON WHY SHE WANTED TO STAY AWAY SO LONG, I DID A DNA TEST ON THE BABY AND I AM NOT EVEN THE FATHER. I kept this to myself because I love this little baby and didn't tell her unitil the the i left.......she started to cry. I only took her and her baby back to her province and left the next day. I couldn't see myself staying for whatever reason.

Upon returning.......just as i knew, she was on some thai dating site again. I forced myself to cut off all contact from both of them, and it is not easy. I left her enough money to last a few months, but that is all i will send. For her to come to US, and me to get her into hospital for baby, passport, and to introduce to all my family and relatives that I have a baby boy and now I now the truth, makes me feel so much shame. She will not talk about it at all and all she keeps contacting me for is a divorce. I told TH does not recognize a US divorce anyways so I'm not doing anything. A divorce will hurt her more than it will help. I feel so sorry for little Alex...........but I know at this point (a month later) he wont even remember me. Our marriage was never registered in TH and I realize I've lost the family i thought i had.

[Boiler 45,775]

You are married whatever and you should seriously consider divorce. I have never heard that TH has an issue with US Divorces, sounds most unlikely.

[Ning 619]

Here'a an update, and everything is a mess right now, and I mean everything. We did end up gettig babys thai birth certif and thai passport. We left for TH in mid April, she used her green card to depart the US but had to show marriage certificate also because her Thai passport/id has her maiden name. I had a very bad feeling about this flight. She packed her bags weeks before we were supposed to go. I had no interest in going at all (fet like I was there just to carry bags and help with baby. THE WORST PART: FEELING SUSPICIOUS ON WHY SHE WANTED TO STAY AWAY SO LONG, I DID A DNA TEST ON THE BABY AND I AM NOT EVEN THE FATHER. I kept this to myself because I love this little baby and didn't tell her unitil the the i left.......she started to cry. I only took her and her baby back to her province and left the next day. I couldn't see myself staying for whatever reason.

Upon returning.......just as i knew, she was on some thai dating site again. I forced myself to cut off all contact from both of them, and it is not easy. I left her enough money to last a few months, but that is all i will send. For her to come to US, and me to get her into hospital for baby, passport, and to introduce to all my family and relatives that I have a baby boy and now I now the truth, makes me feel so much shame. She will not talk about it at all and all she keeps contacting me for is a divorce. I told TH does not recognize a US divorce anyways so I'm not doing anything. A divorce will hurt her more than it will help. I feel so sorry for little Alex...........but I know at this point (a month later) he wont even remember me. Our marriage was never registered in TH and I realize I've lost the family i thought i had.

There is something very wrong with what is said here or in some things that seem to have been done. IU am so sorry find that Aarons advice couldn't be followed.

The child having those Thai docs will probably never see the USA again I am afraid.

I am only surprised by one thing. You did a great job in getting that DNA test for so many reasons including the little boys future.

Its hard to describe what something like this feels like for anyone but when you are the victim of a carefully crafted illusion its natural to feel we failed. You did not fail. In fact things are better now because you know exactly who everybody really is. You have the tools to put together a family that loves you built on a foundation of truth. Just use quality materials next time.

Getting this over with is the only way to begin again. Divorce her in the USA.

[Shavercamp 3]

Sorry to hear about this. Divorce her here. Everything about your story indicates the relationship is over (if in fact it even actually existed in her mind) and there is nothing left to do but divorce and put as much distance between you and the train wreck is establishing as her life. Hope you are able to recover soon and move on.

[jyaku 138]

Here'a an update, and everything is a mess right now, and I mean everything. We did end up gettig babys thai birth certif and thai passport. We left for TH in mid April, she used her green card to depart the US but had to show marriage certificate also because her Thai passport/id has her maiden name. I had a very bad feeling about this flight. She packed her bags weeks before we were supposed to go. I had no interest in going at all (fet like I was there just to carry bags and help with baby. THE WORST PART: FEELING SUSPICIOUS ON WHY SHE WANTED TO STAY AWAY SO LONG, I DID A DNA TEST ON THE BABY AND I AM NOT EVEN THE FATHER. I kept this to myself because I love this little baby and didn't tell her unitil the the i left.......she started to cry. I only took her and her baby back to her province and left the next day. I couldn't see myself staying for whatever reason.

Upon returning.......just as i knew, she was on some thai dating site again. I forced myself to cut off all contact from both of them, and it is not easy. I left her enough money to last a few months, but that is all i will send. For her to come to US, and me to get her into hospital for baby, passport, and to introduce to all my family and relatives that I have a baby boy and now I now the truth, makes me feel so much shame. She will not talk about it at all and all she keeps contacting me for is a divorce. I told TH does not recognize a US divorce anyways so I'm not doing anything. A divorce will hurt her more than it will help. I feel so sorry for little Alex...........but I know at this point (a month later) he wont even remember me. Our marriage was never registered in TH and I realize I've lost the family i thought i had.

You know what, you're very very LUCKY..

All you need to do is watch for November because after 6 months outside the US, the resident alien card is automatically cancelled. Then you can file a divorce based on abandonment or whatever without having to go through a financial settlment that might cost you half and possibly more. She walked out of your life with someone elses kid so you're not going to be forced to pay 18 years of child support.

And best of all, your heart will heal over time. It may not seem like this now but in time it will and you'll be more stronger and more likely to not trust so easily or walk into the same trap again. You've paid your dues and it's time to move on. Would you do the same thing again? I think not.

So just wait out the time till green card expires and don't look back.