TSC K1 Backlog - what can we do? (For TSC non-expedites only)

[dsldesch 27]

Some of these replies are a bit lengthy, so I'm going to refrain from quoting them directly.

CatherineA --

I definitely believe it's a cultural difference. In the US, we tend to prioritize business over pleasure (speciflcally, personal relationships, such as friendships, etc.) and place a significant amount of emphasis on being timely to the second, but in many (if not all) Latin American countries, this is reversed: being "on time" isn't important (the number of times we've had a close call at the airport has made this perfectly clear), while personal relationships have much greater priority over business issues--including, it appears, immigration paperwork.

Harel was practically the same as your fiance with the G-325A. I had to pry all the information out of him, and with his parents in the room, make him confirm their birthdates and places of birth. Even then, we still had to approximate his beginning and ending dates for almost all of his jobs (unfortunately, he's had a lot), and almost all of them lack specific street addresses, because he just couldn't remember (and apparently Google wouldn't help him? *sigh*). He started a new job in April, and it literally wasn't until I sat down with him last week and begged him to give me the employer information that I finally got it, despite asking as soon as he started.

Definitely a cultural issue.

I also understand the Level 5 Meltdowns. We've had a few of those, but they've not been in regards to immigration issues (although, at our worst in arguments, bringing up immigration issues tends to be the most hurtful things we say to each other... *sigh*). I was also frustrated with Skype when things started, but after experiencing the weak internet connections firsthand when we met in person, I gained a touch of compassion for what he's going through. We've also developed excellent communication skills, and while they don't always sidestep arguments, they have allowed us to discuss things calmly afterwards, which has been very helpful. But even so, he still can't fathom the sense of urgency I have about visa issues, that quite frankly, he needs, too. So if I'm able to figure out how to get through to him about this, I'll let you know. Hell, I'll even write a manual that can be added to VJ's FAQ section! "How To Overcome US-Latin Cultural Differences!" Hahaha!

yuna628 --

In our case the passport issue was a complete oversight on my part and (ignorance? lack of focus? insufficient knowledge?) on his. He had previously visited the US in 2012 or 2013 (I'm being too lazy to look it up), so I knew he had a passport, but what I didn't know is that in Mexico passports have varying lengths of validity, at 3, 5, or 10 years, so I thought, hey, I got my passport in 2008, and it's valid until 2018, so this mustn't be an issue. Then we filed and he told me his passport had expired. If I had known it sooner, I would've insisted it was renewed before filing, but we missed the mark, and now we're waiting. He's told me he's going to get it renewed on the fourteenth when he visits his parents next (apparently passports are processed fasted in Queretaro, his hometown, than in Mexico City), and trust me, if it's not done, it won't be pretty.

After hearing about the birth certificate...fiasco you went through, I think I'm going to make a list of things he needs to do, in addition to the passport, when he's at home. There's just too much at stake, and I really wish he'll finally realize this, but I honestly can't say if he'll ever realize how intense this is on us, the petitioners!

There's never really a plan, for anything, and when there is, just about no one adheres to it. It's not chaos, and it's not lazy, it's just a bit more of a letting life unfold naturally...which certainly has its strong points in theory. But in practice, for me, it's a difficult thing to get used to.

This. OMG. THIS.

Every time I'm down here, I go through this, and he knows it bothers me, he knows I'm really introverted and I have social anxieties and it drives me freaking crazy every time I'm like, "What's the plan, so I can mentally prepare myself?" and he's just like "Well...there isn't a plan." For goodness sake, half the arguments we've had--and I mean those Level 5 Meltdowns--have been because we're out with his friends and it pushes me to my limits, and he just can't understand why I'm not comfortable--because I needed a plan to psych myself out.

Thankfully, after this last time when we were literally arguing for three hours outside his friend's apartment, I think it finally sunk in how serious I am when I say I need to know what's happening or I can't handle it. He even voluntarily turned down an offer to go out so it wouldn't be two nights in a row, and after the next time he even checked in to make sure I was comfortable out with his friends. That is genuinely important progress. (=

[Pennycat 880]

Late in replying (it's been a heck of a month over here) but hang in there! And heads up: Mr. has not really stuck with my plan for consular phase and we've fought about it to the point that I think that we're both just talking to ourselves. This is not fun in the slightest. He has, however, mostly managed to get things done more or less on time, but whether or not he has done everything correctly is a bit of a different issue (I'm specifically worried about the police report, there's two versions and I have this nagging feeling that he got the wrong one...). But so far, end result has been acceptable so I'm trying to let go a bit. I am/was hoping for interview on Sept 28, but I just checked fares and it looks like I could save $150 by waiting a week. Thinking about it. Gah so frustrating.