Coping with the separation

[CharlieTanger 76]

So I just brought my partner back to the airport last night. We will be separated for 4 months until I go back to visit him. Yes, we are at the TSC.

I absolutely hate that "heavy heart" feeling when you leave and then the morning/day after. Does everyone experience the same feelings? I feel so alone.

This approval cannot come quick enough! My method of thought is that I'm visitng in 4 months. I should hear my NOA2 by end of July/beginning of August. And then we'll be separated for another few months until his official arrival in the US in September/October/November timeframe! I think that balances the time well and will help shorten the "mental time" process.

What do you guys think? What do you guys do to help the pain in missing your fiancé?

Edited February 18, 2015 by CharlieTanger

[VOL 425]

Many of us are not allowed to have our Fiance visit us in the USA, I would consider yourself lucky.

England is a short flight from USA compared to many on this forum.

You keep in touch via Skype or similar medias....

[CharlieTanger 76]

We applied while he was already here (which I found out is legal and ok to do). He now won't come back until visa in hand.

That is some consolidtion. It is only a 6 hour flight from New York, but with an expensive cost! Haha

We do Skype and message every day. I think it's the just physical presence is what's hard now.

[Ms Hogan 295]

Sometimes you just have to give yourself permission to feel miserable and wallow in it. Then pull yourself back together and look forward to the future. When this is all over it will only be a small part of your lives together. But in the meantime, it will feel like forever before you reach each other. You're allowed to be sad and frustrated. But don't let it hold you back from having happiness in your daily life. Don't let it control you. You'll get through it and it will be a memory soon enough!

[NikLR 13,227]

yep it hurts and it's hard. My husband rarely cries (unlike me) and the only times I've seen him do it is when a family member dies (his grandma) and when one of us had to leave each other for 3+ months after only a week together. As Ms Hogan said, the art that gets you through is allowing yourself to feel the emotions but then realize that it's just a short time in what is, the forever of your life.

Keep busy, it helps.

[yuna628 9,676]

I used to think after saying goodbye at airports for so many years that it would somehow be easier.

....And yet, it never is. There is not really much you can do to be rid of that feeling.

Chatting every single day helps pass the time, as well as trying to find things to do online together can help too.

Today is movie day, we're watching movies over webcam. Other days, if we're feeling a little stressed we'll game together.

Wallowing though is never good (yes I know it can't be helped all the time). Keep the focus on the fact that this year will be the last year to ever be parted. It's good that you're able to visit. Not everyone is able to do so.

[Chalandrae 31]

I am lucky enough to be living somewhat close to my fiancé, but we only see each other every month or so. The separation is still hard as hell. I had a panic attack a month ago when I had to come back home. We were hoping for NOA2 and it never happened, so I was just affraid of having to wait another month or two.

Ever since we first met, we talk on skype every single night, and often we just end up falling asleep while the call is going. It might sound silly, or even creepy like my friend once told me, but I find it comforting.

Very often, no one talks during the calls, we just do our things and it ALMOST feels like we are together right now.

Other than that, a lot of text messages and pictures during the day.

Also, I "permanently borrowed' one of his hoodies. so I often just put it on when I miss him..

[NikLR 13,227]

I am lucky enough to be living somewhat close to my fiancé, but we only see each other every month or so. The separation is still hard as hell. I had a panic attack a month ago when I had to come back home. We were hoping for NOA2 and it never happened, so I was just affraid of having to wait another month or two.

Ever since we first met, we talk on skype every single night, and often we just end up falling asleep while the call is going. It might sound silly, or even creepy like my friend once told me, but I find it comforting.

Very often, no one talks during the calls, we just do our things and it ALMOST feels like we are together right now.

Other than that, a lot of text messages and pictures during the day.

Also, I "permanently borrowed' one of his hoodies. so I often just put it on when I miss him..

Hubs and I left skype on whenever we were home. We purposely slept with it on. If your friend thinks it's creepy, well they've never been in an LDR before.