The Cairo Club

[sassysis 0]

I dont think it is crazy to know each other for 3 months before wanting to marry. Heck, I knew I wanted to marry him almost from the first time we spoke. But that is my opinion, I am not looking for anyones approval so no worries here. But there are lots of places where people marry before they even meet, so I dunno. Anywho, like I said no worries here, everyone has an opinion. I am just thrilled I found this site with so many people going thru the same thing. Thank you to all for the welcome.

[Nagishkaw 510]

It's your life and only you can live it.

[hollykay 0]

Yeah... ok... so what's up with those sideburns?

I love my husband's facial hair.

[sassysis 0]

Yeah... ok... so what's up with those sideburns?

I love my husband's facial hair.

I dont know what he looked like before, but that looks nice.

[Nothing1234 2]

Welcome SkerberO

I'm dying to visit Egypt this summer....I never thought I would miss it this much or be homesick like I am!!! I MISS EVERYTHING as if I've never had it before LOL....but I'm worried the Dr. won't let me travel while preggo

I traveled to Egypt at 6 to 7 months preggo babes. My doctor was fine with it and I was carrying twins! I'm sure you can provided you have no medical conditions yourself. isA you can get home for a bit.

[Hanna&Mohamed 0]

Welcome SkerberO

I'm dying to visit Egypt this summer....I never thought I would miss it this much or be homesick like I am!!! I MISS EVERYTHING as if I've never had it before LOL....but I'm worried the Dr. won't let me travel while preggo

I traveled to Egypt at 6 to 7 months preggo babes. My doctor was fine with it and I was carrying twins! I'm sure you can provided you have no medical conditions yourself. isA you can get home for a bit.

I travled at 7 months and came home I was almost 8 months. My doctor told me not to but did I listen no!!LOL ! Imadiabetic is why but I didnt need his permission for the plane. I was fine Mohamed and I went to the doctor to make sure . But EgyptAir gave alot of problem coming home being so far along. I had to see there doctor and everthing finally they let me leave .

[ya falaha! 0]

So now I'm a dream crusher. Because I don't agree that *chatting* online (for 3 months) with a man from a high fraud, mid eastern country should be considered something as serious as an engagement? I realize that "technically" you can be engaged to someone you barely know. Technically.

I know I should break out the pom poms for every reckless, irresponsible thing some ppl do around here but that's not me. This is public, I can give my opinion no matter how unpopular. I will not stifle myself or blindly support in order to "fit in". I haven't insulted anyone, I stated my opinion. Perhaps I worded it wrong. Perhaps I wasn't TECHNICAL enough. We're not all as perfect as you. It must be so hard to be so perfect. I realize that you take offense to comments about particular subjects that you yourself were involved with. It's a damn good thing I didn't suggest skerber do a paper marriage so she could "legally" shack up while filing a k1. That would be HIGHLY offensive to some.

At any rate...no offense to you skerber, I'm a little harsh in my opinions sometimes. It's your life, live it as you see fit.

I'm sorry, were we suppose to give a standing ovation for your attempt at dream crushing? Yes, people CAN get engaged without having met. Is it wise? That is debatable. If you come in here to crush dreams with a silly untrue one liner, what exactly do you expect?

Edited April 21, 2009 by Astarte

[sassysis 0]

So now I'm a dream crusher. Because I don't agree that *chatting* online (for 3 months) with a man from a high fraud, mid eastern country should be considered something as serious as an engagement? I realize that "technically" you can be engaged to someone you barely know. Technically.

I know I should break out the pom poms for every reckless, irresponsible thing some ppl do around here but that's not me. This is public, I can give my opinion no matter how unpopular. I will not stifle myself or blindly support in order to "fit in". I haven't insulted anyone, I stated my opinion. Perhaps I worded it wrong. Perhaps I wasn't TECHNICAL enough. We're not all as perfect as you. It must be so hard to be so perfect. I realize that you take offense to comments about particular subjects that you yourself were involved with. It's a damn good thing I didn't suggest skerber do a paper marriage so she could "legally" shack up while filing a k1. That would be HIGHLY offensive to some.

At any rate...no offense to you skerber, I'm a little harsh in my opinions sometimes. It's your life, live it as you see fit.

I'm sorry, were we suppose to give a standing ovation for your attempt at dream crushing? Yes, people CAN get engaged without having met. Is it wise? That is debatable. If you come in here to crush dreams with a silly untrue one liner, what exactly do you expect?

man from a high fraud, mid eastern country - OK, now I am sure I will get it, but I have to ask. Huh? A high fraud country? Maybe I am naive...............

[Nagishkaw 510]

It's true. Egypt is considered HIGH FRAUD.

[ya falaha! 0]

Very high fraud. High fraud meaning men marrying American women in order to escape. Meaning green card marriages. Meaning please be careful.

I met my husband online, not proud of it, but that's the fact of the matter. I knew him a year and a half before visiting Egypt. I knew about his family, I knew about his home. When I got there the stories matched. Some women aren't so lucky. Do I think I'm immune to fraud? Hell no. No one in this forum is. Some of us are lucky, some have not been. It's the luck of the draw.

Just please get to know this man more before going to meet him. If you feel something is not right listen to your inner voice. I know he makes you feel great and he's probably quite lovely to you. That's great. Lots of Egyptian sweet talk and charm their way to a green card. Lots of Egyptians don't care who they step on to get ahead. Not all but lots. Just be really careful.

[doodlebugg 10]

I met my husband online and chatted for a while before going to meet him. Then I married him like the second or third day I was there. I had the feeling I was going to but I had a backup plan in case things went sour and he wasn't the same in real life. I guess I was lucky because we're very very happy together.

It is right to be cautious though. I was able to speak to a couple of people in Cairo who know my husband before I went there and that made me feel more comfortable. Of course they all could have been in on it together but seriously you can't totally base everything on fear. I'm glad I did what I did because I'm with a wonderful man who completes me.

I called him my fiance too before I went there. I mean technically that is what he was...we were planning on getting married after all so isn't that the definition? Maybe "cyber-fiance" is better but that has a tone to it telling one that it is just make pretend but the ring on my finger is pretty real to me. I know what Kara's saying though. It's just kind of real out of the box to call someone you've never even met in person your fiance but heck call him what you want, I did, and enjoy every moment you have with him. I wish you all the best.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

I know I should break out the pom poms for every reckless, irresponsible thing some ppl do around here but that's not me. This is public, I can give my opinion no matter how unpopular. I will not stifle myself or blindly support in order to "fit in". I haven't insulted anyone, I stated my opinion.

If you had just given the full and detailed response you gave later, I wouldn't have an issue. The thing that bothered me was the terse, unhelpful remark to a newbie. Sure, don't mince words, but at least attempt to be helpful if you're going to be blunt.

Perhaps I worded it wrong. Perhaps I wasn't TECHNICAL enough. We're not all as perfect as you. It must be so hard to be so perfect.

So attempting to actually be decent to people is now to be perfect?

I realize that you take offense to comments about particular subjects that you yourself were involved with. It's a damn good thing I didn't suggest skerber do a paper marriage so she could "legally" shack up while filing a k1. That would be HIGHLY offensive to some.

Ah, ad hominem, my favorite internet discussion fallacy. What I did to get married (which didn't involve papers btw) is between me, my husband and my Rabb. If that's your attempt at getting me riled up, ain't gonna work, sorry.

[sassysis 0]

What is a paper marriage? I have seen it mentioned several times.

Thanks for the heads up on the fraud things, I like to think I am not being niave. I talk to him online/webcam for several hours a night and some IM's during the day as well as text and calls, so I hope I am getting to know him. Of course, my judgement has not been the best on some occassions,(ex-husband), but hey, if this is fraud it sure does feel good. LOL Ok, seriously, now my mind is going 100 different directions, if, just if, I wanted, how would I find out anything about someone in another country? I really dont feel that is neccessary, but just in case.

[Melly 2 0]

Before making my first trip to Egypt, a couple of friends of mine were very concerned that I might not know my then fiance (now husband) well enough and one of them, who has family here in Egypt, wanted to check up on him.

I didn't feel that great about doing it, but I let her have his address and a friend of her brothers went to my fiance's apartment and asked around (neighbors) about the family to find out about them in general.

I guess the answer that she got was satisfactory. lol

Unless you know someone who can corroborate information or do some general checking here, I'm not sure how you could find out.

I wouldn't bother wasting any money on a private investigator without knowing the investigator personally.

[ya falaha! 0]

Look don't let the fraud thing get you upset. It's just a heads up to let you know it's out there and it happens quite a bit. Not to scare you but if you go back and read old posts on the mid east forum and the effects forum you will see some horrific stuff. It's good to be aware though. It's always a good idea to check things out as much as possible. Maybe it's not so easy to find out things about a man who lives half the world away but there are questions you can ask. Do you know where he lives exactly? Do you know about his family...names, certain details, etc. Is he elusive at all..meaning does he tell you not to call him or has he kept you a secret? If you go to Egypt, will he intro you to his family or will you be staying in a flat/hotel away from them? How soon did he talk about marriage? How much does he know about the visa process? Does he have lots of friends who have gotten or have filed for a visa? Do his stories add up? Does anything seem off? Anything? Does he have family in the states (not necessarily a red flag though)? Does he ever ask for money or even hint at needing money? You get the picture. Just be really cautious. Take your time and be really sure about why you want to marry him? Ask yourself, is this infatuation? is this a sexual thing? Do you really picture yourself being with him long term? We all get caught up in emotions and infatuation...just be sure you really want to do this. It's a long, difficult, painful process esp. with Egypt. Do you have the fortitude to handle it? Does he? Just be really sure. I know so many ppl who go through this then the guy gets here and things aren't like the dream and it's hard adjusting for both parties. Remember it's not a puppy you can return to the pound if he pees or poopoos on the floor. You know what I mean. Not trying to compare the man with a dog but you get the point, right?

What is a paper marriage? I have seen it mentioned several times.

Thanks for the heads up on the fraud things, I like to think I am not being niave. I talk to him online/webcam for several hours a night and some IM's during the day as well as text and calls, so I hope I am getting to know him. Of course, my judgement has not been the best on some occassions,(ex-husband), but hey, if this is fraud it sure does feel good. LOL Ok, seriously, now my mind is going 100 different directions, if, just if, I wanted, how would I find out anything about someone in another country? I really dont feel that is neccessary, but just in case.