moving to America

[vicks5721 18]

I was browsing through threads on this forum and read about how people felt about moving away from their home country.

Then it got me thinking about how I feel about it all, I am extremely excited and happy to begin my life in America with my fiance and get married, but also I will miss my family, specially as my sister and nieces are moving to another part of the UK before I am going, they will be in another county the day I get my flight.

I know it is normal to feel sad about that I won't see them for months. But at the same time I am used to moving away from home I was an au pair in Austria and in Greece and I did go to America on J1 Visa as well. I love American Culture and I have grown up with it on tv and movies, my first experience living there as an au pair I loved everything and had a great time. So I am not worried at all about adjusting to the Culture, food and so on, I know I will feel at home straight away. As I am getting closer now to going(as I have my Interview in 14 days time) I am sad about not seeing family in ages.

Surprisely that is all though lol. It will be new to live in a village and not have public transport when I move over, but I am an introvert anyway so I won't feel a strong need to be surrounded by friends, I am quite content to stay in evenings and watch tv or go on the internet, It would be nice of course to have things to do and not get bored.

That is why I have made plans already like I am going to finish learning to drive and do volunteering work at my fiance's church and I do look forward to getting to know his family, specially meeting his baby nephew(who will be our nephew once we are married) Also I know wedding planning will keep me busy when I can't work at first.

I always have thought UK and US cultures both have their similarities and speaking the same language is good lol

Edited February 17, 2015 by vicks5721

[E-N 48]

I often think of my fiance too and how he will feel. I know it must be hard but, I know you will enjoy your new life and, in time combining it with your life back home in the UK. the US is a very busy country, we are a busy people. I think the British enjoy life more whereas we are always on the go. It will be a neat experience though, chance of a lifetime

[LDN2DEN 3]

I have now been here in Denver for 6 months after visiting various states over 40 times in the past decade and I was very unsure about a move to America especially as I had a six year old to consider however I can honestly say it is the best thing I have ever done.

I love the outdoor lifestyle, our new home we purchased at the end of last year, my child LOVES her new school, I have made fantastic friends (my best friend is someone I met on this very website!)

There is absolutely nothing I would change about this move (at the moment)

[rjm_cmyk 75]

Whilst the UK and USA share a version of English I think you will find things more different than you might expect. Once you get past the flattery that is "geeee I love your British accent" you will get onto the stage where you realise that some won't understand what you've said. Either because that accent is actually a bit stronger than you might at first think and secondly because idiomatic English can often be confusing to Americans.

There is also the issue that just about everything is different to the UK to a larger or lesser degree. Things you take for granted in the UK won't work the same way in the USA. Some will be minor irritations to begin with , some might be a big pain.

If this sounds like a negative view - it isn't - it's what moving country is all about be it from the UK to the USA or from the USA to France. It's part of what's exciting and fun about it !

. the US is a very busy country, we are a busy people. I think the British enjoy life more whereas we are always on the go.

.

Perhaps if you're moving from rural Wales to NYC. Moving to SF after the SE of England I find it so much slower - even in the city

[vicks5721 18]

Whilst the UK and USA share a version of English I think you will find things more different than you might expect. Once you get past the flattery that is "geeee I love your British accent" you will get onto the stage where you realise that some won't understand what you've said. Either because that accent is actually a bit stronger than you might at first think and secondly because idiomatic English can often be confusing to Americans.

There is also the issue that just about everything is different to the UK to a larger or lesser degree. Things you take for granted in the UK won't work the same way in the USA. Some will be minor irritations to begin with , some might be a big pain.

If this sounds like a negative view - it isn't - it's what moving country is all about be it from the UK to the USA or from the USA to France. It's part of what's exciting and fun about it !

.

Perhaps if you're moving from rural Wales to NYC. Moving to SF after the SE of England I find it so much slower - even in the city

Well I don't agree sorry, I think my accent is easy to understand and I know that actually there are so many similarities, not everything is different. I think UK and USA are the most similar countries to each other, if I wanted to say everything in America is different I would compare it to China or India for sure. The only differences is words, slang and idioms, and jokes mainly. Sorry If I sound negative in what I wrote. I am certain you are wrong but that is just my opinion.

Edited March 8, 2015 by vicks5721

[vicks5721 18]

I am a positive person by the way and I don't worry about things in that way, I get irritated by England, America to me is great culture I think I will fit in there better lol

[rjm_cmyk 75]

Well I don't agree sorry, I think my accent is easy to understand and I know that actually there are so many similarities, not everything is different. I think UK and USA are the most similar countries to each other, if I wanted to say everything in America is different I would compare it to China or India for sure. The only differences is words, slang and idioms, and jokes mainly. Sorry If I sound negative in what I wrote. I am certain you are wrong but that is just my opinion.

No need to apologise :-)

You may be certain I am wrong but my comments were based on my experience (and my English wife's who has lived here for nearly 20 years) of living here in the Bay Area which is about as European friendly as it gets in the US.

Either way - best of luck with your move and new life in the US.

[Darnell 8,479]

moving to a village? cool ! don't forget, the local librarian knows everything - so if you get stumped, well, make a new friend with him/her - usually they can be bribed if you are on the list for children's storytime.

[rlogan 2,036]

That was a nice balanced OP and additional comments. Some people play the martyr routine with their Christ-like sacrifice for their partner who is held underfoot with the "look what I gave up for you" guilt-trip. Recently someone was accusing us of killing immigrants with our poisonous food. Talk about narcissistic drama.

Why choose partners from different cultures if it is so awful. Both parties have to adjust to the culture of the other person even though only one of them is moving. You still have all the extended family relations and traditions, and if you are a decent person you participate in social or cultural activities of the beneficiary when they want to. There are relationship expectations that are culturally derived and this is a big reason I married my wife - not something I had to adjust to but an important and exciting reason for marrying her.

So it is nice to see the balance here with excitement on the one hand and the things we miss on the other. The other very good thing is seeing a beneficiary taking the initiative and planning what to do with their time before they get here. Some people seem to have no foresight whatever.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Minnesota is probably closer to Northern European countries than other places in America and yes, people will likely get your accent and love you just for being all Euro-foreign.

I live way way up north, which is probably a bit more nuanced than the Cities, and I think of Minnesota as more like Minneslowta...... everything moves at a snail's pace, everything. People are also not very WASPy, they don't care much for appearances and say what they actually think. It is also really laid back and dress clothes might be your nice jeans and boots.

The Dane and I love it in Minnesota and I hope you do too (although, you might not love our state bird ).

[vicks5721 18]

That was a nice balanced OP and additional comments. Some people play the martyr routine with their Christ-like sacrifice for their partner who is held underfoot with the "look what I gave up for you" guilt-trip. Recently someone was accusing us of killing immigrants with our poisonous food. Talk about narcissistic drama.

Why choose partners from different cultures if it is so awful. Both parties have to adjust to the culture of the other person even though only one of them is moving. You still have all the extended family relations and traditions, and if you are a decent person you participate in social or cultural activities of the beneficiary when they want to. There are relationship expectations that are culturally derived and this is a big reason I married my wife - not something I had to adjust to but an important and exciting reason for marrying her.

So it is nice to see the balance here with excitement on the one hand and the things we miss on the other. The other very good thing is seeing a beneficiary taking the initiative and planning what to do with their time before they get here. Some people seem to have no foresight whatever.

I don't see it as giving up anything to move to be with my fiance, I see it as making all the best decisions in my life to be with my one true love. It is not a sacrifice if you are happy to move to be with the love of your life.

I know that adjusting for me will be simple, honestly as I love the culture anyway and the fact I am moving to a village is a positive thing as I am an introvert person and so it suits me well that lifestyle. I love nature, walks to think about things in life or listen to music, I enjoy bike rides and outdoor activities in peaceful environments away from the crowds of cities. I lived in London in 2013 and I did like having things to do but I couldn't stand crowded buses, trains and those kind of things, it was a very stressful environment for someone like me, I was happiest when go to the woods or parks with just me and the dog.

Exactly I agree with you about you still can have all your traditions and family, I am confident my Fiance will do all he can to make me happy with doing traditions of my home country and I am happy to be involved with all of his like 4th of july and thanksgiving, I know we will visit England to see my family and I look forward to showing him the English countryside and we both love camping, there are loads of beaches he will love to go to. So what I mean is it will be a balance, best of both worlds! Yep I have thought of many things I will do with my time as I always plan ahead and think of future things, that's me lol.

So I come back again to what I said about it is not a sacrifice to move to be with your partner, to me it is a joyful, happy and positive, exciting best decision and feels right. Not that sacrifice means only negative as it doesn't. But anyway...

[vicks5721 18]

Minnesota is probably closer to Northern European countries than other places in America and yes, people will likely get your accent and love you just for being all Euro-foreign.

I live way way up north, which is probably a bit more nuanced than the Cities, and I think of Minnesota as more like Minneslowta...... everything moves at a snail's pace, everything. People are also not very WASPy, they don't care much for appearances and say what they actually think. It is also really laid back and dress clothes might be your nice jeans and boots.

The Dane and I love it in Minnesota and I hope you do too (although, you might not love our state bird ).

That sounds funny what you said about like accent for being euro-foreign, I can see the humour lol.

Yep my Fiance has told me people are relaxed, they wear casual clothes like jeans and boots, and people enjoy fishing and hunting, the outdoor life basically. My fiance enjoys fishing and talks about it all the time, we both enjoy camping and I know we will go often when the weather is warmer.

I know I am going to love Minnesota besides the state bird of course and the snow I hear gets old after 4 continuous months.

But I have been told it is a state that has all seasons, a long winter but hot summers and mild autumn/fall and mild spring, sounds great to me.

Where I live in England the seasons feel mixed up and it rains alot lol.

I did live in Austria in a small village in 2009 working as an au pair and I loved the nature and mountains all around me, the only thing I found that bothered me was nobody could speak English. So I felt it was hard with daily activities, like I never went alone to Restaurants as I couldn't speak German.

But moving to America they speak English, so British differences in words, phrases and jokes I can explain to them if they didn't get it.

At least that is possible and I know after years of living there, months even, I will eventually say things American way in public places anyway, so no worries.

I do like having things to do, but I am happy with even simple things like walks and going to the library or window shopping.

There are about 4 large towns about 30 minutes drive away from where I will live anyway if I get bored and would like to shop or go to a new park or cinema/ movie theater.

Also Minneapolis and Saint Paul are an hour away to get a change of scenery, then there is all the other 49 states to go see when we can in free time on vacation.

Some of his relatives live in Iowa and some live in Missouri so we will take trips there also, I am getting carried away now with all the exciting things to look forward to, sorry everyone!!

Edited March 9, 2015 by vicks5721

[Cam54 84]

OP I think you'll be surprised how many differences there are between US and UK once you move there permanently. Its great you have a positive attitude towards it but I worry your perception might be rose tinted as mine was when I first came here. Appreciate the perks of the UK whilst you still can such as vacation time, not having to file taxes or ever visit a SS office or DMV etc and simple things like takeaways n supermarket deliveries, boots meal deals lol. I dont know much about where you are going but Im in California and it makes me really miss British people and the culture.